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"Please, miss, cookey only hotted it up by master's orders, and it's all come to an atemy," said Peter.

"Remove it," said Finny, as coolly as he could, "and bring in the second course."

The skeleton of the cod was succeeded by a fore-quarter of lamb— lamb in October!--which from being roasted a second time by cookey, looked as if the animal, while alive, had had the ague, and shivered its flesh off its bones. Two side dishes, one of stewed kidneys, and the other of sweetbreads, looked, the former like pickled walnuts, and the latter, like two bits of sponge in soap-and-water sauce. At the bottom was the vol-au-vent, which presented an odd appearance, as cookey had made some fresh paste, to replace the original crust which the children of No. 6 had so cruelly mutilated. It looked like an old wall with a large patch of new plaster on it.

Finnikin was very much annoyed, for although he gave the best cuts he could find to the new guest, he saw by the way she picked it, and pulled it about, and then laid down her knife and fork amidst the débris, that it was not relished.

"I'm sorry our cook should have made such a mistake in her calculations," began Mr. Rashly.

"Please, sir, cookey says if she had had to dress it herself instead of—"

"Silence, Peter; champagne to Miss Canterwell."

Peter, who had been instructed how to twist off the wire and cut the string, did so. He was very much surprised to find the cork fly out of the bottle with a bang and the wine follow it.

"Crikey, if I haven't been and smothered old missus," said the boy, looking horrified.

"You fool,” said Finnikin, "pour out the wine directly."

But Peter was so much alarmed, that instead of obeying the order, he ran about the room with his white-covered thumb thrust into the neck of the bottle, exclaiming,

"Cus the stuff, who'd a thought of its being hup."

Finnikin was not a bad-tempered man, but when he thought of the failure in the dinner, and saw Miss Canterwell convulsed with laughter at Peter's antics, and his sister rubbing down his mother with a dinnernapkin, he lost all command of himself, and seizing Peter by the collar, opened the door, and kicked him down stairs. His arrival at the bottom was announced by the smash of the bottle which had caused his misfor

tunes.

"Oh, deary me! oh! the poor boy is killed," screamed Mrs. Rashly.

"Serve him right, mamma," said Miss Letty. "There, you're nice and dry now, and it's justifiable boyicide if Peter is dead, I'm sure."

"If I have a prejudice, it is against a lout like that, who knows nothing, and won't be taught," said Finnikin.

Miss Canterwell good-naturedly interfered, and after a time Peter was called for again. He put in his appearance-but what an appearance it was. Even Mrs. Rashly and her son, indignant as they justly were, could not refrain from laughing when they saw him enter with a handkerchief tied tightly about his left knee, and his head half obscured by a

white napkin, to hide a long gaping wound in his forehead, and another on his nose, caused by the broken glass.

"Leave the room sir, this instant, and send up Sally," said Peter's

master.

Sally, the housemaid, came, but she was so agitated by laughing at Peter's appearance, that she committed all sorts of enormities, and amongst the rest upset the mint-sauce over her master's

trousers.

Finnikin bore it very philosophically, and to hide his feelings, opened a bottle of champagne himself, and helped the ladies.

"Delicious!" said Miss Issy. "St. Peray, is it not?"

"Perry! I should think not, indeed! It's Ruinard's best at five-andnine, bottles returned," said Finnikin. "Try another glass."

Miss Issy did so, and tried not to laugh-but it would not do The attempt was a failure, and the wine going the wrong way, as it is called, made her cough, and kick so violently that she was forced to leave the room, followed by her friend and her hostess.

Finnikin quietly finished the champagne, and as his sister told him that her friend declined appearing again that evening, being very unwell, he put on his hat, jumped into a bus, and vented all his fury upon Stuffem's head waiter, who had caused all his calamities by sending a dinner for four to No. 6.

Why, the last words as you said was, 'Mind, don't forget, at six,'" said Thomas; and, in course, I sent it to 6."

"That was the hour, not the number, you-you-donkey. I shall not patronise this restorature any longer."

To show that he was in earnest, Finnikin walked into the opposition house just opposite, and drank several goes of fluid as an accompaniment to several cigars.

CHAP. III.

FINNIKIN Woke with a bad headache, and a feeling that something had gone wrong with him overnight, but what it was he could not recollect, until on getting out of bed and looking into the glass, he missed his whiskers and mustaches. A cold clammy sweat came over him as he stood and gazed. Where had he been? Who had dared to do such a daring deed? He sat down at the bed-foot, and tried to recall all the events of the past night. He could recollect nothing after the fifth cigar, but two very "genteel chaps," students in medicine, offering to see him home in a cab. Had he been robbed ?—No, his money was all right, except what he might fairly deduct for cigars, goes, and a cab home? When did he come home? How did he get to bed? To obtain an answer to these questions he rang his bell, and then sprung between the sheets again, and pulled them over his face leaving only his eyes visible.

Peter, who had been cleverly court-plaistered by cookey, in answer to his master's questions, informed him that he was brought home about one in the morning in a cab, by two young "gents," who said they were medical men, and that as the gentleman had had a fit they should see him into bed, and begged that the family might not be disturbed.

"What did they do?-how long did they stay?" asked Finnikin.

"About half-an-hour, sir-till I could get the kittle to boil; for they said you must have some hot brandy-and-water before they left you." "Did I have any?"

"I can't say, sir, but either you or they did, for there's the bottle empty," said Peter."

"Undraw the curtains and pull up the blind. Then tell the ladies I shall not be down to breakfast.'

"Please, sir, it's two o'clock in the afternoon, and the ladies is gone out for a walk," said Peter.

"Then leave me, and when Miss Letty comes in tell her I wish to speak with her in my room; and, Peter, don't let mamma or the young lady hear you deliver the message."

As soon as the boy had left the room his master rose again, and opened the drawer of his dressing-table. It was as he suspected. There before him, on his shaving-cloth, lay the ruins of his whiskers and moustaches ! In the handle of his razor was a piece of paper. He opened it and read this bit of doggrel :

We thought it a pity that features so fair
Should be everlastingly hidden by hair;

When next you re inclined to get drunk and behave
As no gentleman should do, remember our shave.

TOM SMITH & JACK BROWN.

Finnikin was dreadfully disgusted, and meditated all sorts of revenge. He had a very great mind to use the razor once more and for the last time. He felt for his carotid, and, as it bumped under his finger, he thought he would cut it, for what was life to him without whiskers? He wisely resolved to dress himself, and hear what his sister had to say to console him before he put his razor to an illegitimate use.

Two hours passed before his sister returned-two long, tedious miserable hours. At length came a rap at the street-door, then a light pit-apatting on the stairs, the handle of his door was turned, and a slight shriek and an exclamation of oh! goodness me, told him that his appearance was horrible in his sister's eyes. He uttered a deep groan, and threw himself on his bed and kicked convulsively, saying, "I am an altered man."

"What is the matter?" asked Miss Letty.

"Cannot you see ?" said Finnikin, pointing to his bare cheeks and upper lip.

66

Well, if have not been doing—”

you

"No, no, thou canst not say I did it," said Finnikin.

"Whoever did it-it is the very thing that my dear Issy has been wishing to have done."

"You don't say so?" said Finnikin, brightening up.

"I do, indeed-for when I hinted to the dear girl what an excellent husband you would make her, she told me that you looked more like a bear than a beau, and that she could never endure a man who was ashamed to show more than half his face to her."

"Hurrah! then I'll say I cut them off on purpose to please her," said Finnikin, and so pleased was he at the notion of getting so cleverly out of the scrape, that he freely told his sister every thing that had hap

pened to him, and even laughed with her at himself, and gave up all thoughts of shooting or poignarding Smith and Brown, and of course of cutting his own carotid. It is needless to add, that he bound his sister to the strictest secresy.

But how was Peter to be stopped from revealing the secrets of the past night? He had not seen the effects of the razorings of Smith and Brown, and only knew that his master had had a fit, and was seen home in a cab by two medical students.

Finnikin lathered his face and shaved clean, then rang his bell, and boldly ordered Peter to remove the ruins of his whiskers, and told him not to mention the fit of the overnight to any body, for fear it should alarm his mother.

Peter stared at his master, and hardly knew him, metamorphosed as he was-but he quietly pocketed a half-sov, which his hand received with the order to be silent on the subject of the fit, and made up his mind that his master would be in a lunatic asylum in less than a week. Finnikin had to face his mother with his bare face. He did so. She looked terrified; but before she could utter a remark, her son coolly said, "If I have a prejudice, it is decidedly against people who will imitate me. Every counter-skipper sports a moustache and whiskers, so you see -ch? I've cut them clean."

Mrs. Rashly declared she was glad of it, and that her son looked kissable; in proof whereof, she smudged him for some five minutes.

Finnikin having escaped from the embraces of his mamma, sought the drawing-room in fear and trembling, but one look from his sister, telegraphing "all right," and a sweet smile from Miss Isabella, put him at ease. Cookey had prepared a very nice little dinner; the champagne, the leavings of the preceding day, was exceedingly good; Peter did his duty admirably, and all went off pleasantly.

After dinner they had a little music, and a round game at cards; then a little biscuiting and wine-and-watering, during which Miss Canterwell entered on the subject of horses. Finnikin went off double-Derby pace upon his favourite hobby, but was quickly brought to a check by the lady, who asked him "if he had ever hunted?"

Finnikin hardly liked to say no-but he did, qualifying it with an assertion that he meant to hunt with the "Old Wiltshire" as soon as they

met.

"Then," said Miss Isabella, "you must be quick about your arrangements, for the day after to-morrow is THE FIRST MEET OF THE SEASON." How Mr. Finnikin Rashly enjoyed "The Meet," we may see in our

next.

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