Editor's Drawer. URING a written examination in one of twenty-five miles of the "Hub," the following question in history was given out, and the answer, if not in every particular strictly correct, certainly attracted the attention of the examiner quite as much as a good many others which were more in harmony with the generally accepted facts in history: Question. "Who were the Huguenots?" Answer. "The Huguenots were a warlike tribe of Indians inhabiting the southwest part of Philadelphia, and supposed to have been descendants of the Church of England." A CORRESPONDENT at San Antonio, Texas, sends us a list of questions propounded to a candidate for a teachership in a public school, the concluding one being as follows: "How many kinds of fractions are there?" "Two." "Name them." "Guilty and not guilty. A fraction whose renumerator is lesser than the denomination is a guilty fraction. A fraction whose denomination is lesser than the renumerator is a notguilty fraction." So say you all, gentlemen? THERE is a prevalent misconception that all men who have any claim to be called educated, especially a public men, are intimately acquainted with he contents of the Bible. We have been amd by a story illustrating what ignorance of the Book may be found in heads highly placed, and think it may interest the readers of the Drawer. Just after the civil war had ended there returned to the United States a distinguished gentleman, who had been for many years a Senator, but who had been absent from the country during the whole period of the war's continuance, on diplomatic service. One day soon after his return he was walking the streets of one of our cities in company with two old friends-a Presbyterian minister and an elder. As they walked they passed the jail of the city. "There," said the minister, "is the place where I was imprisoned during the war." "Well, Brother H-" said the elder, "I suppose, like Paul and Silas, you sang praises with the prisoners?" "Paul and Silas ?" quickly asked the Senator-"Paul and Silas? who are they? I never heard of them. What you refer to must have happened while I was out of the country." Why, M," said the elder, “is it possible that you never heard of St. Paul ?" "St. Paul?" he replied. "Certainly, Sir, I have heard of him. He was very much of a gentleman." "Well, did you never hear of the night in GENERAL GORDON, in a recent account of scenes connected with the surrender of Lee's army, gives an amusing instance of the undress condition in which soldiers in the field sometimes find themselves. General Gordon had determined to send a flag of truce to General Sheridan, and for that purpose summoned Major Hunter, of his staff, and told him to carry a flag of truce forward. He replied, "General, I have no flag of truce." The general told him to get one. He replied, "General, we have no flag of truce in our command." "Then take your handkerchief, and put it on a stick, and go forward." "I have no handkerchief, general." "Then borrow one, and go forward with it." "General, there is no handkerchief in the staff." "Then, major, use your shirt." "You see, general, that we all have on flannel shirts." At last a man was found who had a white shirt, of which the back and tail were torn off, [and rigging that peaceful emblem to a stick, the major went toward the enemy's lines. THE Archbishop of Canterbury's memoir of his wife and son contains two good sayings of Dean Milman. At a Fulham garden party an emu was turned into one of the meadows for the inspection of the visitors. The cows gave chase, whereupon the dean exclaimed, "Hello! there goes Colenso, and all our bishops after him." The same day, seeing Bishop Wilberforce and the very Low-Church Bishop Villiers driving away together, he enjoined them as they started to "see that ye fall not out by the way." THE last Legislature of Vermont passed an act anthorizing the appointment of text-book committees by the various towns in the State. Conventions were held in the different connties to secure uniformity. The convention in Rutland County was an unusually stormy one, and when the merits of the various text-books on geography were being discussed, one member from the town of Hubbardton arose and said "he had observed a wide-spread and lamentable ignorance on the part of teachers on the subject of geography." A reverend gentleman from the town of Poultney replied: "Mr. Chairman, I heartily agree with all that the gentleman has said. | and his tongue being loosed by a glass of sher Only a few days since a young gentleman and a young lady wished me to join them in matrimony. I questioned them, as every pastor should, to ascertain their fitness to become man and wife. Among other questions I asked them from what town they came. 'Well, I declare I dunno,' said the man, and turned to his proposed better half for the answer. 'Dunno,' said she, 'but I b'lieve 'twas Hubbardton, wa'n't it?' 'Guess 'twas, come to think on't,' said the man. Mr. Chairman, I believe those two had not been sufficiently instructed in the elements of geography by their teachers." Amid the roars of laughter which followed this sally, the gentleman from Hubbardton subsided. A GOOD story is told of the learned and witty Bishop Clark, of Rhode Island, who is so widely known as the writer of charming essays for the New York Ledger. It is said that on one occasion a very fashionable "swell" from this city was paying a visit at the bishop's house in Providence. When the host had escorted his young guest to his bed-chamber, the exquisite, mindful of the morrow, and provident that he may make his appearance at breakfast all fresh and neat, said, most naïvely, “Bishop, I suppose I will put my boots outside my door?" "Oh, by all means, if you wish," said the bishop. "They will be perfectly safe there; nobody will touch them." ry wine, which he then tasted for the first time in his life, he was entertaining his auditors with stories from "his county," when the Governor approached. "Uncle Johnny, here is the Governor," said one of the company; and straightway the old man was silent, for he was overwhelmed by this first vision of the majesty of the commonwealth. "Go on with your story, Uncle Johnny," said some one; "the Governor will like to hear it." "Yes, go on, Uncle Johnny," said the Governor, with a kindly smile of encouragement; and the old man, thus convinced that even the Governor was also a man, concluded his narrative. Then becoming bolder, he ventured to address the Governor, saying, "Guvnor, I went to your meeting yistiddy, and I seen whar you sets." He had been to the Episcopal church, and had been shown the Governor's pew. "Did you, Uncle Johnny?" responded Governor S- -"And how did you like it?" "Well, Guvnor, I never knowed much what they was a-doin', but I riz and fell with 'em every time." IT frequently happens that we have something from the other side with which to lighten up the pages of the Drawer, and this strikes us as especially entertaining: One of the returned warriors from Zululand AMONG lawyers and editors one of the say- was at Rourke's Drift, and witnessed a clergyings most frequently quoted is, "The greater man in clerical attire hard at work handing the truth, the greater the libel." It is a mis-out cartridges to the men, and he did it with quotation from an epigram of Burns. When on a visit to Stirling during the time of his connection with the excise, the poet wrote some verses reflecting rather unfavorably upon the reigning dynasty as compared with the exiled Stuarts. Upon being admonished by a friend for his imprudence, he said, "Oh, but I mean to reprove myself for it," and thereupon wrote the following: a will. A private near was taking shots at the Zulus, and cursing the while in the most ingenuous manner. "Don't swear, man!" shouted the clergyman-" don't swear at them: shoot them!" YANKEE editors in the country are sometimes successful in bending their energies to making professional puns, but we believe none of them have ever labored so continuously at it as has the London Fun in the following "journalistic Rash mortal and slanderous poet, thy name Says the more 'tis a truth, Sir, the more 'tis a libel? WHEN good Governor S- who is a most devout Episcopalian, was the Chief Magistrate of Kentucky, he was wont to frequently entertain the members of the General Assembly at the Governor's Mansion. To one of these levees came, with the member from his county, an old mountaineer who had just reached Frankfort with the raft of logs which he had brought down the Kentucky River. The old man, who was called familiarly "Uncle Johnny," soon became the centre of an admiring group, to whom his jean clothes were not at all an improper attire for the Governor's levee; "In the early part of this the Nineteenth Century of the Christian Era a Citizen of the World strolled at night along Pall Mall on his way from Belgravia to Whitehall, accompanied only by the Echo of his footsteps. An old Engineer and soldier of the Queen, he had traversed by Land and Water the greater part of the Globe, and had, since his Broad Arrow days, fought under more than one Standard. Taking out his Tablet he stood and wrote as follows: The study of Public Opinion offers a wide Field for the intelligent Spectator and Examiner of the Times—' At this moment a Watchman, who had been a close Observer of his movements, approached, and said, 'Come, my noble Sportsman, you must move on! And what if I refuse?' demanded To grace be absolutely necessary, let it be inflicted, but not the bodily pain." By all means. Let the teacher be put through a light course of chemistry, and experiment upon naughty pupils at the close of school. As the old party said whose wife was accustomed to belabor him with the poker, "It sort o' amuses the old woman and the children, and don't hurt me.” the other, standing like a Rock, with his back | tions in the same guarded manner. If the disagainst a Post, immovable as Temple Bar. be Brief with you, my friend, I shall in Truth stay here a Week if I think proper.' 'Well,' rejoined the Civilian, 'I am the appointed Guardian of this thoroughfare All the Year Round, and I protest against your making any Sketch or Record here. Are you a Builder?' Instantly a grasp of Iron was laid on his arm. 'Do you wish me to Punch your head?' asked the Traveller. 'Oh no,' replied the other, all of a Quirer; 'pray don't; I was only in FUN.'" THIS description of a colored man down South, who drove a stage, is given by Hon. Alexander H. Stephens. He drove Mr. Stephens to Reidsville in an ambulance, which he called an "avalanche." John is a philosopher in his way, and not destitute of wit. One of his peculiarities is a standing phrase used in giving his estimate of men. Instead of speaking of them as "great men” or “little men," his phrase was "a heavy dog" and "a light dog." "John, do yon know Governor Morehead ?" "Oh yes, Sir." "What sort of a man is he, John ?" WE are advised of a preacher in Wisconsin who, wishing to show the advantage of troubles and calamities, said, "Were it not for lightning, we should not have the security of the lightning-rod; had it not been for the direful small-pox, we should not enjoy the blessing of vaccination." Let us add that had it not been for the exasperating ague, we should never have known the ecstasy of free quinine. THE Drawer is favored with this anecdote of General Zachary Taylor from one who belonged to the Mississippi volunteers, and took part in the battle of Buena Vista. Just after the battle General Taylor happened to see a group of ten or twelve Mexicans some distance off, apparently in consultation. Turn "Oh, Sir, he is a heavy dog; one of the ing to Captain Bragg, he said, "Cap'n Bragg, heaviest dogs, Sir, we have." "Who keeps the tavern at Reidsville where we are going to stop?" "His name is L- Sir." "What sort of a man is he, John ?" "Oh, he is just a common dog, Sir. He is taking a rise since the war began, is making lots of money now. He keeps a good house; plenty to eat; is very kind, and will treat you like a gentleman. He is very well-to-do in the world, is a fair common dog--not one of your heavy dogs; but if the war lasts, and he keeps raking in the money in the way he has been raking it in for some time, and it only turns out good, he will be a heavy dog himself before long. If what he has made was only the heavy stuff money used to be, he would be a heavy dog now." THE Hon. Alexander H. Stephens was always a church-goer. On a certain Sunday he had attended twice. He says that he was much pleased with a sermon from Dr. S―, and not at all with one from Dr. D—, whom he thought neither eloquent nor orthodox. "His prayer was the coolest thing of the kind I ever heard. Some fellow said that he prayed as if in his address to the Deity he did not intend to compromise his self-respect." HAPPY thought! Anthony Trollope, in his novel The Bertrams, just published in Harper's Franklin Square Library, speaks of the preseut as the age of humanity. "We perform our operations under chloroform; and it has even been suggested that those school-masters who insist on adhering in some sort to the doctrines of Solomon should perform their opera d'ye see that bunch of men over there?" "Well, drive 'em away from there." Bragg aimed a cannon, and fired. All of the Mexicans fell, ponies and all, except two, who put spurs to their nags and galloped away. When General Taylor saw the result of the shot, he took off his cap, and clapping it on his knee, exclaimed: “Good hit, Cap'n Bragg, by jingo! Set 'em up again!" THE following is vouched for by one of the most reliable of Philadelphia divines: A young clergyman having agreed to supply the pulpit of an older brother absent from home, escorted to church the daughter of the pastor, and after seeing her safely in her father's pew, ascended to the pulpit, unconscious that this natural attention to the young lady was sufficient to excite lively imaginations and inquiries in the audience. Upon reading the hymn to be sung, the young clergyman was surprised to perceive evident efforts in the congregation to suppress laughter. The daughter of his friend possessed the mellifluous name of Grace, and, all unsuspicious of that fact, he had chosen the hymn beginning with the words "Amazing grace,” and proceeding with: "Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, How precious did that grace appear Through many dangers, toils, and snares Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, MR. VAN PURCELESS BEING FASHIONABLY SHORT OF FUNDS, HAS TO WRITE A CAREFULLY WORDED LETTER, WITH A VIEW TO RAISING THE WIND, AND IS ASSISTED IN THE FOL LOWING MANNER BY HIS SON AND HEIR: NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE. No. CCCLVII. FEBRUARY, 1880.-VOL. LX. BARTRAM AND HIS GARDEN. HAT glamour of Antiquity which enderived, not from the lapse of years greater or less, but from the fact that such time was the season of the implantation and the germination of ideas that have since produced the fruit of knowledge by which the present is enriched; so, inversely, that time is to us Antiquity which was the period of such a seed-time and growth. A century ago, to the American, possesses all that aroma of romance which the age of Elizabeth holds for the English. The landing of the first settlers-the beginning of all things for us-appears almost as remote in time as the landing of the Normans in England. time that his value, great as it was, becomes doubly enhanced. Few people, comparatively speaking, now know anyconstant correspondent of Peter Collinson (Royal Botanist to King George III.), the intimate of Benjamin Franklin, and, through his letters, of Sir Hans Sloane, the fellow of the learned Dr. Gronovius, and even of the great Linnæus himself, who pronounced Bartram "the greatest of living natural botanists." Those engaged in the science of which he was the pioneer know of him perhaps a few antiquarians and others, such as by accident have come to knowledge of him; but beyond these there are few indeed that know anything of the man whose keen eye has pierced the husk of nature to the very kernel of life within. It is this atmosphere of the past which surrounds the name of John Bartram, the father of American botany and natural "One day I was busy in holding my science. It is through this period of seed-plough (for thou seest I am but a simple Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1880, by Harper and Brothers, in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. VOL LX-No. 357.-21 |