Hor. Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signior mio Petruchio. Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel. Gru. Nay, 't is no matter, Sir, what he 'leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service, look you, Sir, he bid me knock him, and rap him soundly, Sir: well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, (for aught I see) two and thirty, — a pip out? Whom, 'would to God, I had well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst. Pet. A senseless villain! Good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it. Gru. Knock at the gate? O heavens! Spake you not these words plain, "Sirrah, knock me here; rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly?" And come you now with knocking at the gate? Pet. Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you. Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through the world, And I have thrust myself into this maze, Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world. Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee, And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour'd wife? Thou 'dst thank me but a little for my counsel; And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich, And very rich: but thou 'rt too much my friend, And I'll not wish thee to her. Pet. Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we I come to wive it wealthily in Padua, Gru. Nay, look you, Sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet, or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses. Why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal. Hor. Petruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in, I will continue that I broach'd in jest. I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough, and young, and beauteous; Is, that she is intolerable curst, And shrewd, and froward; so beyond all measure, I would not wed her for a mine of gold. Pet. Hortensio, peace! thou know'st not gold's effect. For I will board her, though she chide as loud An affable and courteous gentleman: Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue. Pet. I know her father, though I know not her, I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; Gru. I pray you, Sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may, perhaps, call him half a score knaves, or so; why, that's nothing: an he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what, Sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, Sir. Hor. Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee, For in Baptista's keep my treasure is: He hath the jewel of my life in hold, For those defects I have before rehears'd, Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en, Gru. Katharine the curst! A title for a maid of all titles the worst. Hor. Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me, disguis'd in sober robes, To old Baptista as a schoolmaster Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca; Enter GREMIO, and LUCENTIo disguised, with books under his arm. Gru. Here's no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together! Master, master, look about you: who goes there? ha! Hor. Peace, Grumio: 't is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by a while. Gru. A proper stripling, and an amorous! And see you read no other lectures to her. I'll mend it with a largess. Take your papers, too, And let me have them very well perfum'd, For she is sweeter than perfume itself, To whom they go. What will you read to her? Luc. Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you, As for my patron, stand you so assur'd, As firmly as yourself were still in place; Gre. O, this learning! what a thing it is! Gru. O, this woodcock! what an ass it is! Pet. Peace, sirrah! [They retire. Hor. Grumio, mum! - [Coming forward] — God save you, signior Gremio! Gre. And you are well met, signior Hortensio. Trow you, whither I am going? - To Baptista Minola. I promis'd to inquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca. And, by good fortune, I have lighted well On this young man; for learning, and behaviour, Fit for her turn; well read in poetry, And other books, good ones, I warrant ye. Hath promis'd me to help me to another, Gre. Belov'd of me, and that my deeds shall prove. Hor. Gremio, 't is now no time to vent our love. I'll tell you news indifferent good for either. Pet. I know, she is an irksome, brawling scold: Gre. No, say'st me so, friend? What countryman? My father dead, my fortune lives for me; And I do hope good days, and long, to see. Gre. O! Sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange; But if you have a stomach, to 't o' God's name: You shall have me assisting you in all. But will you woo this wild cat? Pet. Gru. Will he woo her? ay, Will I live? or I'll hang her. Pet. Why came I hither, but to that intent? Have I not heard the sea, puff'd up with winds, Loud 'larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets' clang? |