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66 I am
the flesh is squeezed to the very bone. Never was master plagued with such a clumsy apprentice. Oh, my thumb-it doth pain me piteously!”
“I knew not it was so nigh," said the boy with as grave a face as he could, though, from the twinkle in the rogue's eye, it was manifest he had perfect knowledge of the matter. Then he set to pulling out of the remaining teeth as if he was a doing of it for a wager.
But see, master,
how bravely I can manage it.”
Nay, I will give you no more lessons for the present-I have had enough of you !” exclaimed his master, taking his hat from a pin against the wainscot, and his stick out of the corner. going to Master Tickletoby the schoolmaster,” he continued, putting on his hat, and making for the door. 56 Send for me, if I be wanted. Oh, my thumb ! my thumb!”
“ lla!” cried Harry Daring, as soon as the old man had disappeared. 66 Doubtless thou art for the picking up of some more Latin which old Tickletoby-a murrian on him for having given me the birch so oft !- doth get out of his school books; and which, as Master Francis hath assured me, thou dost misapply most abominably; and he says thy translations be as much like the original as is a Barbary hen to a dish of stewed prunes. But I care not, so that there be fun in the world, and plenty of it."
Then finding he had taken out all the teeth from the jaw, he flung it aside, and looked as if he scarce knew what to be at.
“ By Gog and Magog !” exclaimed he, chafing of his hands merrily.
66 If there should come one with a raging tooth now, I would be at it without fail, for it seemeth to me exquisite sport. Indeed, ?tis a thousand pities there be no living jaw to have a twist at; what, puss ! puss ! hast got never a raging tooth in thy head, puss? Come, none of thy nonsense!” he added, seeing that the cat, who knew him and his tricks of old, thinking that he meant her no good, after a pitiful mew, was making off to be out of his way. But he soon had hold of her; lifting her by the scuff of her neck, he carried her to the three legged stool, on which he sat himself down, and placed her upon her back in his lap; where she lay very quiet, as if scarce daring to move, and only now and then noticing what he was a doing of by a mew so exceeding piteous, that few could resist it: yet he minded it not
“ So thou hast not forgot how I singed off thy whiskers, seeking to give them a right fashionable curl,” said the boy very seriously, as he took in his hand the tooth instrument, and seemed intent on getting it into the cat's mouth. 66 I know thou hast got a villainous toothache by the look of thee, and, mayhap, I will do thee such excellent service
as to take it out. Ay, and charge thee nothing fort; inasmuch as thou hast nothing to pay, and be hanged to thee! else shouldst thou pay a groat like any other Christian. And I will talk Latin to thee, puss, and though I made nothing of it at school, at least shall it be as famous Latin as my master's, and thou shalt understand it as well, I'll be bound. For is it not writ in Aristotle, that there be two kinds of teeth-as hocus pocus,' an easy tooth-presto prestissimus," "an obstinate tooth.' So open thy mouth, puss, and quickly. Nay, if thou dost but attempt to scratch, I'll give thee such a clout of the head as shall put all thy nine lives in jeopardy. I do assure thee, puss, 'tis all for thy good, so there be no need of setting up so piteous a mewing;—which remindeth me of what hath been said on this subject by the learned Podalirius, fol de riddle ido lillibullero wriggledumfunnibus,' which, rightly translated, reads thus
- he can bear very little pain who crieth out before he be hurt. Ha!-thou understandest Latin, I see, by the very wagging of thy tail. So, prythee, open thy mouth at once, there's a good puss, for I must give thy jaw a twist for the fun of the thing. What, thou wilt not, ey? O my life, I'll shave thy tail as bare as my hand, and make thee ashamed to shew thyself before thy sweetheart,--for truly is it said by Esculapius, "hoppeti kickoti corum hic hæc hoc cum tickle me,' the which doth mean,
that a cat with a shaved tail be by no means comely to look upon.”
Here he was interrupted by an old woman with her jaw tied up, entering at the door; at the sight of which, he let down the cat very quickly, and with an exceeding innocent face, advanced up to her.
66 Where be Master Lather?” cried the dame in right piteous accents, as with a shrewish countenance of exceeding uneasiness, she sat herself down on a chair, swaying backwards and forwards, and making such a moaning as was quite moving to hear.
“ He be out, good dame, and will tarry long, doubtless, seeing that he be gone to set a marvellous bad dislocation,” replied Harry Daring, with a look as grave as that of his master. if I can do you any service, believe me, I shall be infinitely glad on’t.”
« Oh, I have the cursedest tooth that ever plagued a miserable old woman!” said she, rocking herself to and fro, and moaning worse than ever.
“ In the extracting of teeth lieth my particular skilfullness," added the boy, “for in that have I had such practice as would astonish you mightily to hear. Indeed I am so cunning at it that master leaveth all the tooth-drawing to me, saying, to the customers, that there be not so apt an apprentice in the whole city. Nay, I do assure you, take it as
you list, I have arrived at such perfection in the art, that I could take out every tooth in your head and you
shall know it not; which remindeth me of what hath been said on this subject by the learned Podalirius: fol de riddle ido, lillebullero, wriggledumfunnibus,' which, rightly translated, reads thus
- he that can draw a tooth without pain, must needs be in famous request of those troubled with an aching jaw.'”
“ Well, if you can talk Latin at your years, you must needs be exceeding clever,” remarked the old woman, so I will let
you take out my tooth, and here's a groat for
if you promise to give me no pain in it.”
“I will whip it out and you shall know nought of the matter," answered the apprentice, readily taking the money, well pleased at having so fine an opportunity for shewing off his skill. 66 Which be it, good dame?” enquired he, after he had got her to sit in the chair, and stood before her, looking gravely into her mouth, with the instrument in his hand.
66 It be the last but two on the left side, in the under jaw,” replied she. - But hurt me not, I pray you." 66 Be assured I will hurt you none, if you
attend to my directions,” said the boy. " So, hold fast by the arms of the chair, else you must needs feel the pain."