SERMON VII.

SECOND SUNDAY AFTER EPIPHANY.

On the Duties of the Marriage State.

1

There was a marriage in Cana of Galilee, and the Mother of Jesus was there, and Jesus also was invited. John ii. 1.

MARRIAGE was instituted from the beginning of the human species, before the fall, and in the innocence of a terrestrial Paradise. It represents to us the holy union between Christ and the Church, which is his spouse; and, as we behold in this day's Gospel, Jesus Christ was pleased to sanctify it with his presence in Cana of Galilee, where he wrought his first miracle. By this holy institution, there is shed an abundant blessing on those who join in this state, to sanctify themselves, and devote their children to God. The marriage band renders two persons inseparable, and it is death alone can break it. The spirit of God has so ordered it, as most conductive to the happiness of mankind, to repress inconstancy, and the confusion which would disturb the order of families, and to promote that stability so necessary for the education of children.

It is in order to obtain these momentous advantages, that St. Paul, writing to the Ephesians, inculcates the love and reverence which should subsist between the married pair, and without which, the matrimonial state would indeed be a state of tribulation, and very painful subjection. "Let every one of you in particular, love his wife as himself; and let the wife reverence her husband."* In these words you behold the duty of husbands and wives, which, after imploring the divine assistance, I shall reduce to three heads; on part of the husband, love, fidelity, and support; on part of the wife, love, fidelity, and obedience.

Husbands are bound to love their wives from all the natural and moral motives that can influence a rational creature. And first it is to be observed, that an equality is necessary to the establishment of an entire affection and friendship in life. Equality is necessary to union; and therefore love is observed, either to find all persons equal, or to make them so. This the great Author of our nature well knew, and therefore he created the first pair perfectly equal: and to express this equality, as divines observe, he formed Eve from Adam's side.

The woman was taken from that part rather than from any other, either higher or lower, to signify that she is neither her husband's mistress, nor his slave; that as she is not to insult, so is she not to be insulted, but to be treated with affection and regard. And hence it is, when Adam had declared his sense of this union which joined him to Eve, he adds as from himself, (yet most evidently by divine appointment,) "Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall

* Ephes. v. 33.

cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh;" signifying that the bonds of marriage should, from that moment, be more powerful than the bonds of nature; and that the tie of conjugal affection which bound a man to his wife, should exceed the nearest and strongest ties of blood; and for that reason a man should forsake even his father and his mother from whom he derived his being. And indeed, when we consider the nature of this union, we shall see evident reasons, why man and wife should be dearer to one another than any other mortals, for their interests in all respects are perfectly the same. That which tends to make one happy, naturally tends to make the other happy also; and that which tends to make the one miserable and uneasy, tends to make the other miserable at the same time.

The interests of the nearest friends in the world out of marriage, will often interfere; and it requires great generosity and disinterestedness not to repine oftentimes at the success of the nearest relatives, because, how intimate soever their correspondence may be, their interests are still distinct and often opposite; nor is it possible to put a case wherein they are in all respects the same, except in marriage. Suppose a brother whom you love; yet still your estate is not his estate, your honour is not his honour, your children are not his children; but in marriage, the case is actually so. Your estate is your wife's estate, her property as much as yours; your honour is her honour, and your children are her children, as near and dear to her, as they are to you. And hence it is, that the idea of perfect friendship is no where to be met with, but in the marriage state.

* Gen. ii. 24.

The foundation of the various uneasinesses, by which the whole period of the marriage union is sometimes rendered a scene of misery, may not unfrequently be traced in the improper views, or in the hastiness with which matrimonial engagements are formed. Let not those be surprized at finding their comforts corroded by indifference and discontent, by contrariety of views, and domestic broils, who have chosen a companion for life, merely or principally for the sake of personal beauty and accomplishments, of a weighty purse, of eminent rank or splendid connexions; nor they who without being altogether blinded by passion, or impelled by interested motives, have yet neglected, previously to ascertain, whether their intended partner possesses that share of congruity to their own dispositions and habits, and above all things, those intrinsic virtues stedfastly grounded on religion, without which, in so close an union, no permanent happiness can be expected. But let them remember that the very terms of the marriage vow, independently of every additional obligation, renders all the duties of the marriage state as binding upon them, as upon others, who are experiencing in that state the greatest earthly felicity. "Husbands, (says St. Paul) love your wives as Christ also loved the Church, and delivered himself for it."*

This precept indicates the personal sacrifices which the husband ought at all times cheerfully to make when they are likely to promote the essential welfare of the wife, and in a very pointed manner, inculcates on the husband that uniform mildness of behaviour, and conciliating attention towards his wife, which will ever prove the

* Ephes. v. 25.:

most efficacious method, not only of insuring her affection, but likewise of influencing her dispositions, and correcting her weakness and failings. It teaches them to study every reasonable and prudent indulgence of her wishes; to accustom his thoughts to dwell rather on her merits than on her imperfections, and when he thinks on the latter, to remember his own; to win her by his counsel, by his encouragement, and, above all, by his attractive example, to contimual advances in every virtuous habit and pursuit; and, if obliged to point out to her something reprehensible in her conduct, to avoid provoking expressions and taunts, with at least as such care as reproaches and invective.

The next duty that husbands owe to their wives is fidelity. As the laws of God and nature oblige you to love your wives with distinguished affection and tenderness, so they oblige you to love them alone in that manner; and this is what is meant by fidelity in the marriage state. And indeed, if this fidelity were not strictly observed, the evils which would be devolved upon society, through the breach of it, would be infinite. The great engagements to peace and mutual love would be dissolved; all the trust and confidence of the perfectest friendship would be entirely destroyed; the assurance of consolation in distress, of support in sickness, and society in age, would be taken away from the earth, and the interests of families would be torn into ten thousand distractions. In short, the evils of life would by it be infinitely multiplied, and its greatest blessings infinitely impaired.

And though the breach of fidelity is commonly regarded as less criminal on the side of the man, yet in reality, and in the sight of God, it is not so, because the obligation to fidelity is equal, is