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Pinch. Why then I tell you No.
And now I have told you my. Mind without a Bitc, pox.
2 Mask. Dammee, Madam, come away, Madam; there's Madam Footstocking at the Greyhound she has brought down a Couple of Bob wigs out of Cheapside shall treat us both. - Look ye, Pimp, I shall meet you fome Night or other in the Play-house Pallage, and then I'll bite you, I will so, Pimp you! [Exeunt Masks. Mar. Mr. Pinch, your Servant;
1 vow I'm afraid you're very ill-natur'd you treated your Ladies very roughly, methought.
Pinch. Oh dear no, Madam, by no means, Madam I am fond of the Fair to the last degree; by the folema Powers, Madam. Your Ladyship is, as I may fay, a Biter, Madam.
Mar. Upon my Word 'tis very innocently, for I don't know what it is. .
Piach. Oh dear, Madam, excuse me for that no, 20, bite, bite, Madam, that won't pass indeed.
Mar. Nay I must confess I take it to be something that is very entertaining, because I see it makes up a great part of the Conversation among you fine Gentler men.
Pinch. Oh your only new Way of Humour. We that pretend to be Men of Wit and Pleasure do nothing but bite all Day long.
Mar. But pray, Sir, as how? for Example a little
Pinch. Why as thus; suppose now I should fay Sir Simon Snuffle was a Wit.
Mar. A Wit! he's a Politician indeed, and a smart little Gentleman; but for a. Wit
Pinch. Bite! there 'tis now --.-. Why he's no more a Wit than I am a Politician. Or now if I should say I am going to Moscow, or that I am to be Lord Mayor, or that the Cham of Tart ary's my cousin-German, that the Pope's a Whig, and the French King a Reformer, Beauty to be abolish'd, and Matrimony and ugly Faces to prevail; How! say you with a gave Face indced: Bite, fays I
that's all; bow you fee 'tis the easiest thing in the World.
Scrib. Me-me-mighty cafie fe-fe-Faith and Troth. ---Why this is nothing but lying Here I have been a Biter, Man and Boy, these Thirty Years, and never knew it.
Mar. Well, I see you are a true Biter, and a right Wit of the Age, by winding up your Jest with Matrimony but have
ou been a Sifferer by the Ladies, that you speak foʻill of their Profession?
Pincb. Pardon me, not at all, Madam, only for the Grace of Wit, and to make up the troll of the Sentence, as merrily conceited Persons are us’d to do. I am Matrimony's bumble Servant, came down to this very indiri. vidual Town of Croydon to pay my Respects to it, and am to subscribe my felf Matrimony's Bond-flave tomorrow.
Mar. And who is the Nymph that is to be made happy?
Pinch. Happy! ah ha, Bite, Madam. I am to be marry'd indeed, but no Body's to be made happy. Már. You are such a Wag one dos’nt know where to
Well, but who is it that is to have the Honour of being your bitten Bride, - for bit she will be, that I foresee already:
Pinch. Right, Madam, for, as you say, I shall bite her, sho she be Bone of my Bone never so much. You must know 'tis one Madam Angelica, Daughter to Sir Timorby Tallapoy, a rich Merchant hard by here.
Mar. Handsome to a Miracle, I suppose. Pinch. 'Egad I don't know, that's as the Fates shall appoint for you
must know I never saw her nor her Father in my Life, nor heard of 'em till within these Three Days, when a Comical old Fellow, a Father of mine in the Country, sends up a Servant of his, one Gregory Grumble by Name, (whom, by the way, I bit Seven times before he could tell how my Father and Mother, my Brothers and Sisters, my Uncles and Aunts, and the rett of my Relations in the Country did) to tell me that
he had agreed with a Gentleman for å Wife For me. I receiv'd the News, bit the Bearer again, and then fent him to notify to my Father-in-Law that is to be. Mar. And in Consequence thereof you
are come down hither?
Pinch. To bite the Old Gentleman and the rest of my Croydonian Relations, consummate with his Daughter, and beget a biting Generation for the Benefit of Porte rity.
Mar. aside to Scrib.) You see this is your Man -- belure you don't lose Sight of him.
Scrib. Te-ie-race's the Word, Madam, ---- a Word to the Wise I'll be-be-bite him, I warrant you,
Mar. You're so intent upon this Fair Lady, that I'm afraid we must despair of your good Company. Pinch. For that Fair Lady you speak of time enoughi I'll marry her to-morrow time enough, I'll warrant, I'NI marry,
her --- Can she desire more? But for you, Madam, I would forsake the greatest Princess upon the Earth; tho' she were fair as the blufhing Morn ----- or
Mar. Oh dear! this is a very particular picce of Gallantry, but
Men of Wit and Pleasure are so engaging:
Pinch. For really, Madam, since the first happy Minute I had the Honour to know.
you, Mar. Which was about Two Hours
[ Aside. Pinch. I have really had the greatest Inclination in the World to profels my self, Madam, your Ladyship's most profound humble Seryant.
Mar. Nay, I swear this is too much I would not make your Lady jealous for the World,
Pinch. Madam, shall I tell your Ladyship without a Bite, and by the folemn Powers, I am paffionate and fin
Mar. I have a strange Inclination to take you at your Word.
Pinch. Od! and so do here am I that will make it out.
or a ----
Mar. Give me your Hand ---- I'll have a good Opinion of my Beauty, and intreñch upon your Bride's Prerogative; for this Day I receive you for my Servant, and if you don't like me when that's over, as well as you do now, you fhall repair to your Lady Mistress at Night, and be marry'd to-morrow for your Punishment,
Pinch. Od! I like this mightily strangely Faith ---Od! there's a good deal Conceit in it-... It's like a Carnival before Lent, -
Mar. Come hang Similes -- we'll join the rest of our Company, and be as merry as the Day's long:
Pinch, Or like----- or hold -- stay or like a Biting and a Beating, or like Laughing and Crying, or like fair Weather and foul, or like riding in a Coach and going afoot afterwards,
Mar. Phoo! phoo! Comé, alông, I'll warrant you.
Pinch. Or like ---Od! I don't know like somewhat that's very merry and very melancholy ---- But, as you say, hang Similes, and so come along.
A S O N G.
And push'd me rudely from her
She cry'd, Nay, whither go ye?
Do what you will with Cloe.
End of the First Act.
ACT II. SCENE I.
Enter Sir Timothy Tallapoy, Two or Three Servants ridi
culously habited baling in Grumble. Sir Tim.
Hands of the Tutang, which is, according to Interpretation, the Officer that delighteth in Justice, which is, according to English Expression, the Constable of Croydon;
I'll see whether the Laws of this Land, as corrupt as they are, will allow you in Enormities like these.
Grum. Yaust charge the Counstable wi' ma'. - Yauft put me i' th' Stocks now! Maister's Worship, Sir Peter Pinch's Worship, and my Lady Pinch's Worship, and young Maifter Pinch's Worship, the young Squair's Worship, they'st take't huge kaindly o yaur Worship to put their Man i' th Stoucks for bracking the Boble there.
Sir Tim. Profane Rascal! Sirrah! It was the Pagode, or Representation of the great Callafufu, who was Nephew to the Great Fillimafo, who was descended from the illustrious Fokienfi, who was the first Invenier of eating Rice upon Platters. ----- Sirrah! if you had been at Nanquin, or the great City of Xamli, you had fuffer'd Death, Sirrah! Death, you Varlet!
Enter Angelica. Ang. How now? What's the matter? What has this Fellow done that he is taken into Cuftody?
Sir Tim. The Pagode, the Pagode, he has broken the great Pagode.
Ang. Is that all!
Sir Tim. Get you in, Huffy, incontinently I fay: --You have not that Regard and Veneration for things which deserve Regard and Veneration, which any
civilly, modestly, or virtuously disposed Person may have, can have, must have, and ought to have, Huffy.