Pinch. Why then I tell you No.

have told you my Mind without a Bite, pox.

And now !

2 Mask. Dammee, Madam, come away, Madam; there's Madam Footflocking at the Greyhound fhe has brought down a Couple of Bob Wigs out of Cheapfide fhall treat us both. -Look ye, Pimp, I fhall meet you fome Night or other in the Play-houfe Paffage, and then I'll bite you, I will fo, Pimp you!

[Exeunt Masks. Mar. Mr. Pinch, your Servant; 1 vow I'm afraid you're very ill-natur'd you treated your Ladies very roughly, methought.)

Pinch. Oh dear no, Madam, by no means, Madam

I am fond of the Fair to the laft degree; by the folema

Powers, Madam.

Biter, Madam. } }

Your Ladyfhip is, as I may fay, a

Mar. Upon my Word 'tis very innocently, for I don't know what it is..

Pinch. Oh dear, Madam, excuse me for that no, bite, bite, Madam, that won't pass indeed.

no,

Mar. Nay I must confefs I take it to be fomething that is very entertaining, because I see it makes up a great part of the Converfation among you fine Gentle

men.

Pinch. Oh your only new Way of Humour.

We that pretend to be Men of Wit and Pleasure do nothing but bite all Day long.

Mar. But pray, Sir, as how? for Example a little. Pinch. Why as thus; fuppofe now I fhould fay Sir Simon Snuffle was a Wit.

Mar. A Wit! he's a Politician indeed, and a smart little Gentleman; but for a Wit

Pinch. Bite! there 'tis now ------- Why he's no more a Wit than I am a Politician. Or now if I fhould fay I am going to Moscow, or that I am to be Lord Mayor, or that the Cham of Tartary's my Coufin-German, that the Pope's a Whig, and the French King a Reformer, Beauty to be abolish'd, and Matrimony and ugly Faces to prevail; How! fay you with a gave Face indeed: Bite, fays I

that's

that's all; you fee 'tis the eafieft thing in the World. Scrib. Me-me-mighty eafie fe-fe-Faith and Troth... Why this is nothing but lying- Here I have been a Biter, Man and Boy, thefe Thirty Years, and never knew

it.

Mar. Well, I fee you are a true Biter, and a right Wit of the Age, by winding up your Jeft with Matrimony but have you been a Sufferer by the Ladies, that you fpeak fo ill of their Profeffion?

Pinch. Pardon me, not at all, Madam, only for the Grace of Wit, and to make up the troll of the Sentence, as merrily conceited Perfons are us'd to do. I am Matrimony's humble Servant, came down to this very indivi vidual Town of Croydon to pay my Refpects to it, and am to fubfcribe my felf Matrimony's Bond-flave to

morrow.

Mar. And who is the Nymph that is to be made happy?

Pinch. Happy! ah ha, Bite, Madam. ------- I am to be marry'd indeed, but no Body's to be made happy.

Mar. You are fuch a Wag one dos'nt know where to have you. Well, but who is is that is to have the Honour of being your bitten Bride, for bit fhe will be, that I foresee already.

Pinch. Right, Madam, for, as you fay, I fhall bite her, tho' fhe be Bone of my Bone never fo much.

You

muft know 'tis one Madam Angelica, Daughter to Sir Timothy Tallapoy, a rich Merchant hard by here.

Mar. Handfome to a Miracle, I fuppofe.

Pinch. 'Egad I don't know, that's as the Fates fhall appoint-- - for you must know I never faw her nor her Father in my Life, nor heard of 'em till within these Three Days, when a Comical old Fellow, a Father of mine in the Country, fends up a Servant of his, one Gregory Grumble by Name, (whom, by the way, I bit Seven times before he could tell how my Father and Mother, my Brothers and Sifters, my Uncles and Aunts, and the reft of my Relations in the Country did) to tell me that

he

he had agreed with a Gentleman for a Wife for me. I receiv'd the News, bit the Bearer again, and then fent him to notify to my Father-in-Law that is to be. Mar. And in Confequence thereof

hither?

you are

come down

Pinch. To bite the Old Gentleman and the rest of my Croydonian Relations, confummate with his Daughter, and beget a biting Generation for the e Benefit of Pofterity.

Mar. afide to Scrib.] You fee this is your you don't lofe Sight of him.

Man ---befure

---- a Word to the

Scrib. Te-te-tace's the Word, Madam,
Wife I'll be-be-bite him, I warrant you.

Mar. You're fo intent upon this Fair Lady, that I'm afraid we must defpair of your good Company.

Pinch. For that Fair Lady you fpeak of, time enough I'll marry her to-morrow time enough, I'll warrant you I'll marry her. Can fhe defire more? But for you, Madam, I would forfake the greatest Princefs upon the Earth, tho' fhe were fair as the blufhing Morn-.

----- or

Mar. Oh dear! this is a very particular piece of Gallantry, but you Men of Wit and Pleasure are fo en

gaging ---

Pinch. For really, Madam, fince the first happy Minute I had the Honour to know you,

Mar. Which was about Two Hours ago,

Afide.

Pinch. I have really had the greatest Inclination in the World to profefs my felf, Madam, your Ladyship's most profound humble Servant.

Mar. Nay, I fwear this is too much. make your Lady jealous for the World.

I would not

Pinch. Madam, fhall I tell your Ladyship without a Bite, and by the folemn Powers, I am paffionate and, fin

cere.

Mar. I have a ftrange Inclination to take you at your

Word.

Pinch. Od! and so do

it out.

Mar. Give me your Hand --- I'll have a good Opinion of my Beauty, and intrench upon your Bride's Prerogative; for this Day I receive you for my Servant, and if -you don't like me when that's over, as well as vo you do now, you fhall repair to your Lady Miftrefs at Night, and be marry'd to-morrow for your Punishment. Pinch. Od! I like this mightily ftrangely Faith Od! there's a good deal of Conceit in it. It's like

a Carnival before Lent, ---- or a----Mar. Come hang Similes

-we'll join the rest of our Company, and be as merry as the Day's long.

Pinch. Or like----- or hold- ftay or like a Biting and a Beating, or like Laughing and Crying, or like fair Weather and foul, or like riding in a Coach and going ‘afoot afterwards,

or like--.

Mar. Phoo! phoo! -------- Come along, I'll warrant

you

Pinch. Or like---Od! I don't know

-like fomewhat that's very merry and very melancholy-But, as you fay, hang Similes, and fo come along.

[Exeunt.

ACT

ACT II. SCENE I.

Enter Sir Timothy Tallapoy, Two or Three Servants ridiculously habited baling in Grumble.

Sir

Tim.Lands of the Tutang, which is, according to Interpretation, the Officer that delighteth in Juftice, which is, according to English Expreffion, the Conftable of Croydon; I'll fee whether the Laws of this Land, as corrupt as they are, will allow you in Enormities like thefe.

OOK ye, Sirrah, I will put you into the

Grum. Yauft charge the Counstable wi' ma' Yauft put me i' th' Stocks now! Maifter's Worship, Sir Peter Pinch's Worship, and my Lady Pinch's Worship, and young Maifter Pinch's Worship, the young Squair's Worship, they'ft take't huge kaindly o' yaur Worship to put their Man i' th' Stoucks for bracking the Boble there.

Sir Tim. Profane Rafcal! Sirrah! It was the Pagode, or Representation of the great Callafufu, who was Nephew to the Great Fillimafo, who was defcended from the illuftrious Fokienft, who was the first Inventer of eating Rice upon Platters. ----- Sirrah! if you had been at Nanquin, or the great City of Xamfi, you had fiffer'd Death, Sirrah! Death, you Varlet!

Enter Angelica.

Ang. How now? What's the. matter? What has this Fellow done that he is taken into Cuftody?

Sir Tim. The Pagode, the Pagode, he has broken the great Pagode.

Ang. Is that all!

Sir Tim. Get you in, Huffy, incontinently I fay: You have not that Regard and Veneration for things which deferve Regard and Veneration, which any civilly, modeftly, or virtuously difpofed Perfon may have, can have, muft have, and ought to have, Huffy.

Grum