Mrs. Scrib. Oh law!-Hiccup-this is very bitter? [Sobbing and Crying. I have had feven Children, befides Four Mifcarriages, and very hard Times of 'em all, by him, and to be us'd thus this is very hard.

I don't well know what

Band. Look ye, Gentlemen, to make of all this- -I am amaz'd, or so, 'tis truebut he's my own Cousin-every Body knows meverfion of an Interlude, or fo of this matter, Sir?

Pinch. Foolish enough, Faith!

-I lodge in Vinegar-Yard
I only came for the Di-
Do you know anything

[To Pinch.
why really I

don't know what to fay to these odd kind of Circumftan

ces; but pray may I crave your Name, Sir. Band. Sir, my Name's Barnaby.

Pinch. Your Chriften Name, I mean.

Band. Oh Sir, your Servant, Sir; Bandileer, Sir.
Pinch. What, is Bandileer your Chriften Name?

Band. Sir, I don't know what you mean; but I'm half
Seas over-

Pinch. Very merry upon my Word, (Mr. Bandileer's woful drunk)

Band. Say you fo, Sir?

Pinch. Bite!

[Afide.

you've hardly wet your Lips to

Band. How's that, Sir? Hey day! what, d'ye get behind me? Look ye, Gentkmen, I take you to be

my Friends.

Pinch. Knock him down.

[Standing behind Band, and making a very great Noife. Band. How, Sir! Dam ye, Sir, that won't pafs neither, Sir.

Friend. Oh no harm, no harm, good Mr. Banditeer---you must not be angry- the Gentleman means only -He's an arch Wag, if you did but

Merriment

know him.

Band, Look ye, Gentlemen, if that be all, the Gentle

man is a Stranger to me, and perhaps I may be a Stranger to him; but however I'll venture a Tefter or two at AllFours with him, if he's fo far forth difpos'd.

Mrs. Scrib. Look, if you han't chaft up and down 'till you sweat like any BullCome, wipe your own dear four frowzy Face with your own Doll's Handkerchief Hiccup

fo!

Go

Serib. Aa! did I think you wou'd ha' ferv'd me you're a hiccupping Beaft I've a good mind to fend you home to the Family of the Patipans, I have fo, you en-n-n-enormous Cockatrice. Ban. Look ye, I brought my Coufin out I took her up, as they fay, and fo, d'ye fee, I'll fet her down again.

Cler. Thefe Fools begin to be troublefom, we must get rid of 'em. Ha! here's Clever too come with Intelligence from my Uncle.

Enter Mrs. Clever.

I fee there's Succefs in your Face, I dare fwear the Defign thrives.

Clev. Admirably the Plot is as just as that in a Critick's Play, the Parts are all ready, and we are to begin within this Half Hour; but I hold it convenient to difperfe this impertinent Audience firft, that we may rehearse in private.

Mar. You have no farther Occafion for my biting Lo

ver?

-

Clev. He may difpofe of his Perfon how he pleaseswe fhall hardly find him of any further Confequence. Mar. I'll pin him to Madam Scribblefcrabble and her bouzy Gallant, and turn 'em adrift together.. what fhall we do with my dear Friend Stale?

But

Clev. Let me alone with her.Engage Mr. Friendly to trip off with the first Opportunity, and leave the reft to my Management. [To Clerimont. Cler. You won't be fo unmerciful to turn her loose after him?

Clev, I must confess, running away is not the best

Proef

Proof a young Fellow can give of his Courage; but for the prefent Occafion tell him 'tis neceflary for the Swain to fly, and the Nymph to purfue..

Let him leave Word with his Man where we may hear of him.

Mar. Well, I vow, Mr. Pinch, you'll engage me extreamly by this piece of Service, [To Pinch afide. This little impertinent Lawyer has a bus'nefs of Confequence to look after for me here in Town, and this unfortunate Affair of his Wife does fo exafperate his Choler, that he'll not think of it 'till we get her out of the way.

Pinch. Where fhall I attend your Ladyship?

Mar. Any where here in the Town.
Pinch. At the Greyhound?

Mar. As proper as any, where we'll be all with you immediately, and divert our felves at the Expence of the Family of the Scribblefcrabbles.

Pinch. We'll laugh immoderately

fhip know what Fun is?

Does your Lady

Mar. No but it's no matter for that..

Pinch. No, as you fay, Madam, it's no matter for that; but I'll fhew you fuch Sport, fuch Fun,

-I'll bite Mr. Bandileer.- Look ye, Mr. Scribblefcrabble, we'll have no more Words of this matter, your Lady is a virtuous Perfon, and a good Wife, fhe has born you many Children, but we have all our Failings.

Scrib. Ah! -name her not, dear Squire

Mar. Mr. Scribblefcrabble, let me advife you in this Adventure I have engag'd Mr. Pinch to ferve you in it[To Scribblefcrabble aside. You may truft your Wife with him, and all will be well. Scrib. Ah de-de-dear Madam, the Squire's a Gentleman it wou'dn't grieve one to truft ones Wife with a Gentleman.

Mar. They're but just going hard by, we'll follow 'em presently.

Scrib.

Scrib. Squire, dear Squire, have an Eye to Be-Be-BeBarnaby Bandileer: my Heart mifgives me plaguily. [Afide to Pinch.

Pinch. Bite! D'ye think I don't know what to do? Trouble not your felt. Mr. Bandileer's very much in Dirink but no matter for that, he'll bite so much the better.

Hum -hum You were a faying, Sir, [To Bandileer your Name was Barnaby.

Band. Yes, Sir; no Offence, I hope.

Pinch. Oh none at all, fo much the better; I love Barnaby of all Names, I was born on a Barnaby-bright in the morning. I have seen you somewhere or other, for cer tain.

Band. I ufe the Cat and Fiddle, moft an End, Sir.

Pinch. In Drury-Lane? Ay there it was, if I am not mightily mistaken, I have bit a Corporal that belong'd to your Company, a very merry Fellow, but I have forgot his Name.

Band. Kit Cunnybarran belike.

Pinch. The very fame.

Hark ye, Madam,

Look ye, you and I, and

[To Mrs. Scribble.

You and I and your Coufin here, we'll fteal off, and have one healing Quart of Walnuts and Sack at the Greyhound. [Whilft Clever entertains my Lady Stale, Friendly feals off.

Band. I muft needs fay you're a very civil Gentleman, Sir, and if you'll fo far demeanor your felf, Sir,- -Look ye, Sir, if my Coufin be willing I came with my Coufin, Sir, and I'll go with my Coufin, Sir, I'll stand and fall with my Coufin, Sir.

Mrs. Scrib. I'm fure you behave your felf fo like a Gentleman, that- -hiccup -But if my Simon should take a new Vagary- oh dear- ------hiccup

Pinch. Oh never fear that- The Ladies have undertaken to bambouzle him-they'll make him know his Duty, and beg your Pardon your time and teal off- take care of your Coufin, Mr.

Bandileer.

--- - now!

now take

Mrs. Scrib

i

Mrs. Scrib. Oh dear, my Hiccocks is very bad. Ban. Look ye, I'll stand and fall, that's my Word. [Exeunt Pinch, Bandileer, and Mrs. Scribble.

Scrib. How! ha! what! Gone again!

Squire!

Mar. Hufht! be quiet, come hither.

Squire,

Scrib. Squire, dear Squire, have a care of Be-Be-Barnaby

Mar. Didn't I tell you this was the only way to get. rid of your Wife's Relation?

Scrib. I acquiefce, Madam, I acquiefce.

Clev. Have a little Patience, Madam, and I'll fet every thing in Order. [Adjusting Lady Stale's Head. I know your Ladyfhip ufes to be the niceft Creature in the World in thefe Matters.

In the Name of Wonder, who cou'd it be that drefs'd you to-Day? Stale. Oh I cou'd n't bear any aukward body's Fifts aI can't tolerate any thing but my own Wodon't you know my Woman!

bout me

man

Clev. Oh dear, yes, Madam, Mrs. Fidlefaddle.

Stale. 'Tis the carefulleft Creature; fhe has liv'd with me ever fince the Restoration, and never administer'd a wrong thing to me, or ftuck a Pin amifs, in all the time.

Clev. The Restoration! That's a long time indeed. Your Lady fhip's Maid-Servants i believe are much more conftant than our Men.

State. The Reftoration did I fay? the Restoration? My Memory! what a thing is my Memory! I meant your other Publick Bufinefs that has happen'd here.

Clev. The Revolution? Stale. Ay, that, that, of your Publick News!

I take fo little Notice
But, as I was faying,

he's the heedfulleft Perfon in any thing that relates to my Perfon.

Clev. I wonder the fhou'd put fo little Powder in your Hair; I fwear one might fee it look quite grey, indeed that was a Fault in Mrs, Fiddlefaddle.

Stale.