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my Bus'ness at present lyes more properly with the Gentleman of the House.
Sir Tim. Then I notific to you again that it lyes with me -come, bar Biting, and begin.
Pinch. Good lack! it's much the Loss of a Place thou'd do this.
[-Aside. Pray, Sir; no Harm, I hope; by your Leave only
[Going by him. Sir Tim. Whither wou'd you pass, Friend? Pinch. Only that way
just in at that Door, that's all I shall meet with some of the Fai mily; I won't trouble you, Sir.
Sir Tim. Sir, I have undertaken the discusing your Business my self, and 'till I have made some further Pro. gress in it the Family shall not be met with, No, Sir, by the most Potent and Serene Cham they fhall not.
Pinch. Pray, Sir, let me tell you, this is very uncivil, Sir, I don't know but I may be in haste, and so #forth, and may have Occasion to speak with a dear Friend that lies dangeroudly fick in the Houfe.
Sir Tim. The Mansion is falubrious and healthy; but if it were not, may I suppose you to be a Maker up or Preparer of Medicines, or, as the Western Language renders it, an Apothecary?
Pinch, Bite! Od I've a good Mind, Tongue's End
[Softly afide, Sir Tim. Ha! What is it thou pronounceft in fecret?
Pinch. Nothing, nothing in the Universe, but only that I beg the Favour of a Word or two with Sir Timothy Tallapoy: That's all, as I hope to breath, Sir.
Sir Tim. Prodigious! How cnormously he varies his Fable! Say on. I am he,
tho’thou knew'st it before, thou biting Viper thou! I am he pronounce, say on.
Pinch. Oh dear! this is worse and worse! You he! alas ! I wou'd you were but
'twas at my
Sir Tim. Speak, what?
Pincb. Your self, Sir, that's al, only a friendly with, I wou'd you were your own Mani
Sir Tim. Soho! My faithful Servants, approach; I'll teach you to bite one of the worfhipful Oriental Traders in his own Mansion. Would'st thou infer that I am distracted, of a Mind not fit to negotiate ? Sirrah! I have been thought fit to negotiate and drink Tea with the most excellent Governor of Canton, nay with the Viceroy, and the learned Lipous.
Pinch. Look ye, Friend, I don't say any Body's mad, but these are odd Circumstances, and Moorfields is a good Air for People that lose Places when one comes 2bout Bus’ness, to be interrupted, and interrogated, and bambouzled, and not suffer'd. to Sir Tim. So ho! my Servants !
Enter Servants. Pinch. Pshaw! This is a Jest indeed! hey day! what's the meaning of all this? Look ye, my Name's Squire Pinch, I come to marry Sir Timothy Tallapoy's Daugh
Sir Tim. Dost thou bite me with the Name of minc Allie! Seize on him, the Wretch!
(They lay hold on him Pinch. This is damnd foolish, faith and troth! Look ye, I am Sir Peter Pinch's Son and Heir, -I am a Man of Wit and Pleasure, I understand the Town, and I won't be us'd fo, for ne'er a Mace-bearer nor a Mad-man-in Moscow.
Sir Tim. Incontinently I think thou art distracted thy, self; but it fuffices me that I know thee to be a Biter, tbe Name that comprehends all kind of Villany Cou'd the right worshipful and most sincere, my friend, Sir Peter Pinch, a Man of his most categorical Principles, engender a Biter ! impossible ! out, thou Impostor!
Pinch. So ho! what's there no body here to take one's part ! Sir Timothy Tallapoy!
Sir Tim. Hold him faft.
Enter Mariana and Mrs. Clever.
I left 'em mumbling over Matrimony with as much Eagerness, as if they were to be happy in good" earneft.
Mar. Very well; now for our Cue here Matters: have happen'd as we cou'd have wish’d.
Sir Tim. Moft exceeding fair, and my very good Friend, my propitious Stars have directed me to the Discovery of a notorious Impofture, and your excel-, lent Persons come very opportunely to behold my. Ju. ftice. Pinch.. Well, Eriend, if he be never so much your
Má. ster, and the individual numerical Sir Timothy, I am asmuch the individual numerical Squire Pinch, as he is the individual numerical Sir Timothy Tallapoy.
[TO the Servants. Mar. I must confess he has a strange designing kind of a Face, I shou'd be very cautious of trusting such a sort of a Man upon his bare Word,
Clev. Dear Sir Timothy, have a Care of him, methinks I see Biting written in his
very foolish, faith and troch! ...- Now you shall see, Friend
these Ladies know me., Madam, here's really a foolish Adventure,
Clev. What does be mean? he addresses his Discourse to us. Bless me, I'm afraid he's distracted how he looks! For Goodness fake don't come too near him.
They say 'tis as bad as Poison to be bit by a MadSir Tim. It is, Madam, what we may properly call an egregious degree of Folly mixt with an egregious degree of Impudence -- o'tis what the Learned in the Western Nas tions call a Complication.
Pinch. Pfhaw! phoo! this is all fooling! Ladies! Madam! here are a whimsical Set of People wou'd perfuade me my Name is n't Pinch.
Sir Tim. I told your Ladyship what he drives at, he wou'd bite me under a wrong Name.
Mar. And pray, Sir, oh dear - hold him fast, is your Name Pinch?
Pinch, Bite!' Bite! Madam.
Sir Tim. You see, most excellent Lady, you see what he wou'd be at.
Mar. And do you really think, Sir, your Name is Pinch?
Pinch. Nay, Madam, I tell you I'm like to be us'd scúrvily this is all ridiculous! Speak Truth now why as if
did n't know one! This is Biting indeed!
Clev. Bless me! my Dear! did you ever fee this Man before?
Mar. Never with my Eyes, Madam. ------Sir Timothy, let me conjure you to have a care, there is certainly fome very villainous Design laid againft you, this is fome Plot.
Pinch. What is the meaning of all this? - Didn't I come down in the Coach with you to-Day? Mrs. Mariana! Madam!
Clev. The confident Wretch! He has got your Name too. - Hark ye, Friend, what good does it do you now to counterfeit another Body's Name? Why you cou'd a't think but it must needs be found out at laft, and then you know the Law is very severe in these Cafes.
Mar. "Tis very probable he had his Eye upon the young Lady's Fortune
Pinch. Why this is dowright making a Fool of one: I thought you had been more a Gentlewoman. Sir Tim. Bebee! Do you
[TO A Servant: and your Fellows take care to confine him in the Cellar I will fupplicate the Mandarins of Juftice that Punith
Punishment may be inficted according to his Demerits---
Life. Sir Tim. Madam, we live in a fagitious biting Age, and a biting Climate
Away with him part I wish I were well turn'd of the Cape of Goodhope.
Pinch. Prithee be quiet, Friend Talk of putting one in a Cellar! Phoo! what a Jeft is that? Nay I won't ftir a Foot, that's flat - Help! Murder! Ladies! Why you won't? What, will you pull one's Arm off? You'll answer all this ---- If ever I bite any Body again ---- pray.
stay---- hear men... [Servants force him off. Mar. Upon my Word I am heartily frighten'd; he make a moft terrible Noise---- I believe the best way will be to get him out of the House?
Sir Tim. Fear nothing, Lady, I will fo muzzle him.
Clev. That he can neither bite nor bellow, 'tis the best
, of all the disagreeable things one meets with, nothing is so shocking to me as a Biter ------ You meet with nothing of this kind in China, Sir Ti nothy.
Sir Tim. "Twou'd be Felony, without Benefit of the
, they are a polite People! .... how agreeably
It is thought the necessary Sciences of Eating and Drinking were discover'd some Ages among them, before they were known in Europe.
Clev. Concerning Beards and their Management I have heard indeed ---
Sir Tim. The whole Oeconomy of the Beard was treated of Seven Thousand Years ago, by, a learned Chinese Philosopher, in Fifteen Volumes...-- Ah, Madam, might I but hope for the Pleasure of seeing your Ladyfhip in
gan with them ...