The next difagreeable perfon to the outrageous gentleman, is one of a much lower order of anger, and he is what we commonly call a peevish fellow. A peevish fellow is one who has fome reafon in himself for being out of humour, or has a natural incapacity for delight, and therefore difturbs all who are happier than himself with pishes and pfhaws, or other well-bred interjections, at every thing that is faid or done in his prefence. There fhould be phyfic mixed in the food of all which thefe fellows eat in good company. This degree of anger paffes, forfooth, for a delicacy of judgment, that wont admit of being easily pleased; but none above the character of wearing a peevish man's livery, ought to bear with his ill manners. All things among men of fenfe and condition fhould pass the cenfure, and have the protection of the eye of reafon. No man ought to be tolerated in an habitual humour, whim, or particularity of behaviour, by any who do not wait upon him for bread. Next to the peevish fellow is the fnarler. This gentleman deals mightily in what we call the irony, and as thofe fort of people exert themselves moft against thofe below them, you fee their humour beft, in their talk to their fervants. That is fo like you, you are a fine fellow, Thou art the quickest head piece, and the like. One would think the hectoring, the ftorming, the fullen, and all the different fpecies and fubordinations of the angry fhould be cured, by knowing they live only as pardoned men; and how pitiful is the condition of being only fuffered? But I am interrupted by the pleafanteft fcene of anger and the disappointment of it that I have ever known, which happened while I was yet writing, and I overheard as I fat in the back-room at a French bookfeller's. There came into the fhop a very learned man with an erect folemn air, and though a perfon of great parts otherwise, flow in understanding any thing which makes against himfelf. The compofure of the faulty man, and the whimsical perplexity of him that was justly angry, is perfectly new: After turning over many volumes, faid the feller to the buyer, Sir, you know I bave long afked you to fend me back the first volume of French French Sermons I formerly lent you; Sir, faid the chapman, I have often looked for it, but cannot find it, it is certainly loft, and I know not to whom I lent it, it is fo many years ago; Then, Sir, here is the other volume, I'll fend you home that, and please to pay for both. My friend, reply'd he, canft thou be fo fenfelefs as not to know that one volume is as imperfect in my library as in your fhop? Yes, Sir, but it is you have loft the firft volume, and to be fhort, I will be paid. Sir, anfwered the chapman, you are a young man, your book is loft, and learn by this little lofs to bear much greater adverfities, which you must expect to meet with. Yes, I'll bear when I inuft, but I have not loft now, for I Say you have it and shall pay me. Friend, you grow warm, I tell you the book is loft, and I foresee in the course even of a profperous life, that you will meet afflictions to make you mad, if you cannot bear this trifle. Sir, There is in this cafe no need of bearing, for you have the book. I fay, Sir, I have not the book. But your paffion will not let you hear enough to be informed that I have it not. Learn refignation of yourself to the diftreffes of this life: Nay do not fret and fume, it is my duty to tell you that you are of an impatient fpirit, and an impatient spirit is never without woe, Was ever any thing like this? Yes, Sir, there have been many things like this. The lofs is but a trifle, but your temper is wanton, and incapable of the leaft pain; therefore let me advise you, be patient, the book is loft, but do not you for that reafon lofe yourself. T Thursday, N° 439 Thursday, July 24. Hi narrata ferunt aliò: menfuraque ficti ID defcribes the palace of Fame as fituated in the very center of the univerfe, and perforated with fo many windows and avenues as gave her the fight of every thing that was done in the heavens, in the earth, and in the fea. The ftructure of it was contrived in fo admirable a manner, that it echo'd every word which was fpoken in the whole compass of nature; fo that the palace, fays the poet, was always filled with a confufed hubbub of low dying founds, the voices being almoft fpent and worn out before they arrived at this general rendezvous of fpeeches and whispers. I confider courts with the fame regard to the governments which they fuperintend, as Ovid's palace of fame with regard to the univerfe. The eyes of a watchful minifter run through the whole people. There is fcarce. a murmur or complaint that does not reach his ears. They have news-gatherers and intelligencers diftributed into their feveral walks and quarters, who bring in their respective quotas, and make them acquainted with the difcourfe and converfation of the whole kingdom or commonwealth where they are employed. The wifeft of kings, alluding to thefe invifible and unfufpected fpies, who are planted by kings and rulers over their fellow-citizens, as well as to thofe voluntary informers that are buzzing about the ears of a great man, and making their court by fuch fecret methods of intelligence, has given us a very prudent caution: Curfe not the king, no not in thy thought, and curse not VOL. VI. H the the rich in thy bed-chamber: For a bird of the air Shall carry the voice, aud that which hath wings fhalt tell the matter. As it is abfolutely neceffary for rulers to make use of other people's eyes and ears, they should take particular care to do it in fuch a manner, that it may not bear too hard on the perfon whole life and converfation are inquired into. A man who is capable of fo infamous a calling as that of a fpy, is not very much to be relied upon. He can have no great ties of honour, or checks of confcience, to retrain him in those covert evidences, where the perfon acculed has no opportunity of vindicating himself. He will be more industrious to carry that which is grateful than that which is true. There will be no occafion for him if he does not hear and fee things worth discovery; fo that he naturally inflames every word and circumftance, aggravates what is faulty, perverts what is good, and mifreprefents what is indifferent. Nor is it to be doubted but that fuch ignominious wretches let their private paffions into thefe their clandeftine informations, and often wreck their particular fpite and malice against the perfon whom they are fet to watch. It is a pleasant scene enough, which an Italian author defcribes between a spy and a cardinal who employed him. The cardinal is reprefented as minuting down every thing that is told him. The fpy begins with a low voice, Such an one, the advocate, whispered to one of his friends, within my hearing, that your eminence was a very great poltron; and after having given his patron time to take it down, adds, that another called him a mercenary rafcal in a public converfation. The cardinal replies, Very well, and bids him go on. The fpy proceeds and loads him with reports of the fame nature, till the cardinal rifes in great wrath, calls him an impudent fcoundrel, and kicks him out of the room. It is obferved of great and heroic minds, that they have not only fhewn a particular difregard to thofe unmerited reproaches which have been caft upon 'em, but have been altogether free from that impertinent curiofity of enquiring after them, or the poor revenge of refenting them. The hiflories of Alexander and Cafar are full of this kind of inftances. Vulgar fouls are of a quite contrary 171 contrary character. Dionyfius, the tyrant of Sicily, had a dungeon which was a very curious piece of architecture; and of which as I am informed, there are still to be feen fome remains in that island. It was called Dionyfus's ear, and built with feveral little windings and labyrinths in the form of a real ear. The ftructure of it made it a kind of whispering place, but fuch a one as gathering the voice of him who fpoke into a funnel, which was placed at the very top of it. The tyrant ufed to lodge all his state criminals, or those whom he fuppofed to be engaged together in any evil defigns upon him, in this dungeon, He had at the fame time an apartment over it, where he used to apply himself to the funnel, and by that means overheard every thing that was whispered in the dungeon. I believe one may venture to affirm, that a Cefar or an Alexander would have rather died by the treason, than have used fo dif ingenuous means for the detecting it. in A man, who in ordinary life is very inquifitive after every thing which is fpoken ill of him, paffes his time but very indifferently. He is wounded by every arrow that is hot at him, and puts it in the power of every fignificant enemy to difquiet him. Nay, he will fuffer from what has been faid of him, when it is forgotten by those who faid or heard it. For this reafon I could never bear one of thofe officious friends, that would be telling every malicious report, every idle cenfure that paffed upon me. The tongue of man is fo petulant, and his thoughts fo variable, that one fhould not lay too great a ftrefs upon any prefent fpeeches and opinions. Praife and obloquy proceed very frequently out of the fame mouth upon the fame perfon, and upon the fame occafion. A generous enemy will fometimes bestow commendations, as the dearest friend cannot fometimes refrain from fpeaking ill. The man who is indifferent in either of these refpects, gives his opinion at random, and praises or difapproves as he finds himself in humour. 1 fhall conclude this effay with part of a character, which is finely drawn by the Earl of Clarendon, in the first book of his hiftory, and which gives us the lively picture of a great man teazing himfelf with an abfurd curiofity. H 2 * He |