If a man could be fo indolent as to look upon this havock of the human fpecies which is made by vice and ignorance, it would be a good ridiculous work to comment upon the declaration of this accomplished traveller. There is fomething unaccountably taking among the vulgar in those who come from a great way off. Ignorant people of quality, as many there are of fuch, dote exceffively this way; many inftances of which every man will fuggeft to himself, without my enumeration of them. The ignorants of lower order, who cannot, like the upper ones, be profufe of their money to thofe recommended by coming from a diftance, are no lefs complaifant than the others, for they venture their lives from the fame admiration. The Doctor is lately come from his travels, and has practifed both by fea and land, and therefore cures the green-fickness, long fea-voyages, campaigns, and lyinginn. Both by fea and land-I will not answer for the diftempers called fea voyages and campaigns; but I dare fay, thofe of green-fickness and lying-inn might be as well taken care of if the doctor ftaid afhore. But the art of managing mankind, is only to make them stare a little to keep up their astonishment, to let nothing be familiar to them, but ever to have fomething in your fleeve, in which they muft think you are deeper than they are. There is an ingenious fellow, a barber, of my acquaintance, who, befides his broken fiddle and a dried fea-monster, has a twine-cord, ftrained with two nails at each end, over his window, and the words rainy, dry, wet, and fo forth, written to denote the weather, according to the rifing or falling of the cord. We very great scholars are not apt to wonder at this: But I obferved a very honeft fellow, a chance customer, who fat in the chair before me to be shaved, fix his eye upon this miraculous performance during the operation upon his chin and face. When thofe and his head alfo were cleared of all incumbrances and excrefcences, he looked at the fith, then at the fiddle, ftill grubling in his pockets,. and cafting his eye again at the twine, and the words writ on each fide; then altered his mind as to farthings and gave my friend a filver fix-pence. The bufinefs, as I said, is to keep up the amazement; and if my friend had had had only the skeleton and kit, he must have been contented with a lefs payment. But the docker we were talking of, adds to his long voyages the teftimony of fome people that has been thirty years lame. When I re ceived my paper, a fagacious fellow took one at the fame time, and read 'till he came to the thirty years con finement of his friends, and went off very well convinced of the doctor's fufficiency, You have inany of thefe prodigious perfons, who have had fome extraordinary accident at their birth, or a great difatter in fome part of their lives. Any thing, however foreign from the bufinefs the people want of you, will convince them of your ability in that you profefs. There is a doctor in Moufe-Alley near Wapping, who fets up for curing cataracts upon the credit of having, as his bill fets forth, loft an eye in the emperor's fervice. His patients come in upon this, and he fhews his mufter-roll, which confirms that he was in his imperial majefty's troops; and he puts out their eyes with great fuccefs. Who would believe that a man fhould be a doctor for the cure of burften children, by declaring that his father and grandfather were born bursten? But Charles Ingoltfon, next door to the Harp in Barbican, has made a pretty penny by that affeveration. The generality go upon their firft conception, and think no further; all the reft is granted. They take it, that there is fomething uncommon in you, and give you credit for the reft. You may be fure it is upon that I go, when fome. times, let it be to the purpose or not, I keep a Latin fentence in my front; and I was not a little pleased when I obferved one of my readers fay, cafting his eye on twentieth paper, More Latin fill? What a prodigious fcholar is this man! But as I have here taken much li liberty with this learned doctor, I must make up all I have faid by repeating what he feems to be in earnest in, and honeftly promife to thofe who will not receive him as a great man; to wit, That from eight to twelve, and from two till fix, be attends for the good of the public to bleed for three pence. T Thursday, N° 445 Thurflay, July 31. Tanti non es, ais. Sapis, Luperce. Mart. Epig. 118. 1. 1. v. ult. You fay, Lupercus, what I write HIS is the day on which many eminent authors will probably publish their last words. I am afraid that few of our weekly historians, who are men that above all others delight in war, will be able to fubfift under the weight of a stamp, and an approaching peace. A fheet of blank paper that must have this new imprimatur clapt upon it, before it is qualified to communicate any thing to the public, will make its way in the world but very heavily. In thort, the neceffity of carrying a ftamp, and the improbability of notifying a bloody battle, will, I am afraid, both concur to the finking of thofe thin folios, which have every other day retailed to us the hiftory of Europe for several years laft paft. A facetious friend of mine who loves a pun, calls this present mortality among authors, The fall of the leaf. I remember, upon Mr. Baxter's death, there was published a sheet of very good fayings, infcribed, The laft words of Mr. Baxter. The title fold fo great a number of thele papers, that about a week after there came out a fecond fheet, infcribed, More laft words of Mr. Baxter. In the same manner I have reason to think, that feveral ingenious writers, who have taken their leave of the public, in farewel papers, will not give over fo, but intend to appear again, tho' perhaps under another form, and with a different title. Be that as it will, it is my business, in this place, to give an account of my own intentions, and to acquaint my reader with the motives by which I act, in this great crifis of the republic of letters. I have been long debating in my own heart, whether I fhould throw up my pen, as an author that is cashiered by the act of parliament, which is to operate within thefe four and twenty hours, or whether I fhould ftill perfit in laying my fpeculations, from day to day, before the public. The argument which prevails with me moft on the first fide of the question is, that I am informed by my bookfeller he must raise the price of every fingle paper to two-pence, or that he shall not be able to pay the duty of it. Now as I am very defirous my readers fhould have their learning as cheap as poffible, it is with great difficulty that I comply with him in this particular. However, upon laying my reafons together in the balance, I find that those who plead for the continuance of this work, have much the greater weight. For, in the first place, in recompence for the expence to which this will put my readers, it is to be hoped they may receive from every paper fo much inftruction as will be a very good equivalent. And in order to this, I would not advise any one to take it in, who after the perufal of it, does not find himself two-pence the wifer or the better man for it; or who, upon examination, does not believe that he has had two-pennyworth of mirth or inftruction for his money. But I must confefs there is another motive which prevails with me more than the former. I confider that the tax on paper was given for the fupport of the government; and as I have enemies, who are apt to pervert every thing I do or fay, I fear they would afcribe the laying down my paper, on fuch an occafion, to a fpirit of malecontentedness, which I am refolved none fhall ever justly upbraid me with. No, I fhall glory in contributing my utmost to the weal public; and if my country receives five or fix pounds a day by my labours, I fhall be very well pleased to find myself fo useful a member. It is a received maxim, that no honeft man fhould enrich himself by methods that are prejudicial to the community in which he lives; and by the fame rule I think we may pronounce the perfon to deferve very well of his countrymen, whofe labours bring more into the public coffers, than into his own pocket Since I have mentioned the word enemies, I must explain myself so far as to acquaint my reader, that I mean only the infignificant party zealots on both fides : Men of fuch poor narrow fouls, that they are not capable of thinking on any thing but with an eye to Whig or Tory. During the course of this paper, I have been accused by these despicable wretches of trimming, time ferving, perfonal reflexion, fecret fatire, and the like. Now tho' in thefe my compofitions, it is vifible to any reader of common fenfe, that I confider nothing but my fubject, which is always of an indifferent nature; how is it poffible for me to write fo clear of party, as not to lie open to the cenfures of thofe who will be applying every fentence, and finding out perfons and things in it, which it has no regard to? Several paultry fcribblers and declaimers have done me the honour to be dull upon me in reflexions of this nature; but notwithstanding my name has been fome imes traduced by this contemptible tribe of men, I have hitherto avoided all animadverfions upon them. The truth of it is, I am afraid of making them appear confiderable by taking notice of them, for they are like those imperceptible infects which are difcovered by the microfcope, and cannot be made the fubject of obfervation without being magnified. Having mentioned thofe few who have fhewn themfelves the enemies of this paper, I fhould be very ungrateful to the public, did I not at the fame time teftify my gratitude to thofe who are its friends in which number I may reckon many of the moft diftinguifhed perfons of all conditions, parties and profeffions in the ifle of Great Britain. I am not fo vain as to think this approprobation is fo much due to the performance as to the defign. There is, and ever will be, juftice enough in the world, to afford patronage and protection for thofe who endeavour to advance truth and virtue, without regard to the paffions and prejudices of any particular caufe or faction. If I have any other merit in me, it is that I have new pointed all the batteries of ridicule. They have been generally planted against perfons who have appeared |