TO MR. FAULKNER. MR. FAULKNER, DEANERY HOUSE, MARCH 29, 1732. WITHOUT the least regard to your wager, I do assure you, upon my word and reputation, that I am not the author of one single line or syllable of that pamphlet, called, An infallible Scheme to pay the Debts of the Nation; and, as it is a very unjust, so it is equally an imprudent and fallible proceeding, to pronounce determinately on our taste and knowledge of style or manner of writing, where very good judges are often deceived; and in this case, few men have suffered so much as myself, who have born the reproach of many hundred printed papers, which I never saw. I do likewise protest in the same manner, that I did not write the epigram upon Taylor*, nor heard of it until Mr. Pilkington showed it me in manuscript. Therefore, pray desire your wagerer, from me, to be more cautious in determining on such matters, and not to venture the loss of his money and credit with so much odds against him. I am, your humble servant, J. SWIFT. If this fancy should hold, of taxing me with all the papers that come out, and at the same time I should take a fancy to be a writer, I shall be discovered when I have no mind, for it will be only to catechise me whenever I am suspected. * The famous oculist. ΤΟ TO MR. FAULKNER. MR. FAULKNER, DEANERY HOUSE, MARCH 29, 1732. WITHOUT the least regard to your wager, I do assure you, upon my word and reputation, that I am not the author of one single line or syllable of that pamphlet, called, An infallible Scheme to pay the Debts of the Nation; and, as it is a very unjust, so it is equally an imprudent and fallible proceeding, to pronounce determinately on our taste and knowledge of style or manner of writing, where very good judges are often deceived; and in this case, few men have suffered so much as myself, who have born the reproach of many hundred printed papers, which I never saw. I do likewise protest in the same manner, that I did not write the epigram upon Taylor*, nor heard of it until Mr. Pilkington showed it me in manuscript. Therefore, pray desire your wagerer, from me, to be more cautious in determining on such matters, and not to venture the loss of his money and credit with so much odds against him. I am, your humble servant, J. SWIFT. If this fancy should hold, of taxing me with all the papers that come out, and at the same time I should take a fancy to be a writer, I shall be discovered when I have no mind, for it will be only to catechise me whenever I am suspected. *The famous oculist. ΤΟ TO LADY ACHESON. AN APRIL FOOL LETTER. 1732. A GENTLEMAN called here last night upon some business, who took Mr.'s house yesterday at dinner, in his return from Wicklow*. He tells me that Mrs. was brought to bed yesterday morning at five o'clock of a half child, just as if it were divided in two equal parts. It had one eye, half a nose and mouth, one leg, and so from top to bottom. They could see it was a boy, or rather half a boy: it was dead born, but she is very well. It was thought that this was the cause of all her colicks. Mrs. Brent tells me she has known the like more than once. I am glad the poor woman had her mother and sister with her. Are you not undone for want of Monky? How are you? Does your milk agree with you? We shall see you no more at church until Monky returns. Adieu, &c. I mend a little. SATURDAY MORNING. * A very delightful village in the county of Wicklow, about fourteen miles from Dublin. FROM FROM LADY ACHESON. 1732. I AM greatly surprised at the account you give me of poor Mrs. ; but since it was so, I am heartily glad she has got rid of it. Mrs. Morris's gout seized her all over on Thursday, so that she keeps her bed. None of them know any thing of this matter: they sent a boy yesterday to Delginney (I will not mention this thing to them till he returns) to let them know she was not able to go to the country. I am sorry that you mend but a little this bad weather has increased my cough; the milk agrees very well with me. I will be at your church to morrow. I am, yours, &c. SATURDAY MORNING. TO MR. GAY. DUBLIN, MAY 4, 1732. I AM now as lame as when you writ your letter, and almost as lame as your letter itself, for want of that limb from my lady duchess, which you promised, and without which I wonder how it could limp hither. I am not in a condition to make a true step even on Amesbury downs, and I declare that a corporeal |