tug. for showing off his skill. "Which be it, I whole might and main into one desperate good dame?" inquired he, after he had got her to sit in the chair, and stood before her, looking gravely into her mouth, with the instrument in his hand. "It be the last but two on the left side, in the under jaw," replied she. "But hurt me not, I pray you." "Be assured I will hurt you none, if you attend to my directions," said the boy. "So, hold fast by the arms of the chair, else you must needs feel the pain." "Ah!" screamed the old woman, seemingly at the very top of her voice, as she lifted up her hands to her jaw immediately he gave a wrench. There, now" cried Harry Daring, looking monstrously displeased. "Did I not say you would feel pain if you held not fast to the chair? For is it not writ in Aristotle that there are two kinds of teeth, as harem scarem,' an easy tooth,' 'crinkum crankum,' an 'obstinate tooth;' and the latter kind have you, without a doubt," Well, well, I will be as quiet as I may," said she, putting down her hands, but looking wofully frightened. "Yet 'twas a most awful pain. Now hurt not again, good youth, I pray you." "Believe me I would not hurt a hair of your head, for any money," replied the apprentice, with a very touching earnestness; "but hold fast,-I can promise nothing if you let go the chair." 66 Oh!" shrieked the dame, louder and longer than at first; and caught hold of his hands as he was a tugging with all his might. "A murrain on you," exclaimed the boy, stamping as if in a great rage, "did ever any one see the like? I was having it out as easily as is the drawing of a cork from a bottle of Ippocras, and without pain enough to hurt a fly, when you let go the chair, and made the pain come on the instant. 'Slife, it be enough to put a saint in a passion; for truly is it said by Esculapius, Syrupus croci scrupulum dimidium, aquæ puræ quantum sufficit:' the which doth mean,- she that will let go when she be told to hold fast, deserveth all she may get for her pains.' ."" "If it was not for the Latin, I should doubt you were so skilled as you have said," remarked his patient, very dolefully; "but the Latin be a wonderful comfort. You shall have at it once more, and for the last time; for in truth I can endure no such horrible pain as the last." "Hold fast, then; and now or never, cried the young barber, as he put his "Oh! oh! murder! Oh! Lord ha' mercy on my sins! Oh! murder! murder! murder!" screamed the old woman, with all the strength of her lungs, as she tried to hold his hands; but this time he knit his brows fiercely, and twisted at the instrument as if for his life; and in spite of the struggles and shriekings of his patient, he desisted not till he wrenched the tooth right out upon the floor. "Here it be, dame," exclaimed he, joyfully, as soon as he saw it fall, "and o' my life 'tis a famous one." But the other seemed to think that her jaw had been torn out; for with her hands up to her face, she sat a writhing and twisting her body about the room, as if she was in her last agony. "Oh! I be a dying! my hour be come; I must needs give up the ghost," cried she, very piteously. "Keep a good heart-you will be well enough soon," replied he, as he was a wiping of his instrument. 66 Indeed, 'twas a most awful scraunch," added his patient, looking in most deplorable fashion; "methought my head was a going clean off, and you was a pulling of it up by the roots:-but where be the tooth ?" "There, dame," he answered, pointing to where it lay; at the which she hastened to pick it up. "Oh! you murderous villain !" shouted out the old woman, her face all of a sudden becoming livid with rage, as she looked upon the tooth: "you have pulled out the only two sound teeth I had in my head, and left the aching one in." "What, have I pulled out two?" exclaimed the boy, as if mightily pleased; "why, what excellent luck have I! But you must needs pay me the other groat, seeing that you bargained only for one." "I pay thee a groat, caitiff!" cried she, in a worse rage than ever, "I'll see thee hanged first!And two such fine teeth, too, that would have lasted me a good score years. Oh! 'tis not to be borne." 66 Why, thou shalt have all the less toothaches for it," said the apprentice, in a wonderful consoling voice; "I warrant they shall never ache; for is it not writ in Aristotle" "Drat Harry's total and thec too!" screamed the other, looking as fiercely as if she was about to fly at him; "I could tear thee limb from limb, you horrible 99 young villain.” "Nay, thou hadst best be quiet and take thyself off," observed the boy, seriously; though he took huge delight in seeing her in so towering a passion. "Indeed, if thou showest thy tearing humor to me, I will set the dog on thee, who be famous for worrying of an old witch." "Dost call me an old witch, thou pestilent little varlet? Me an old witch:me!" ""Tis like enough to be true; for 'tis well known thou wert seen last Christmas eve dancing of a measure with the devil's grannum on the top of the moon." "I dance with the devil's grannum? -I!" "I have spoke with those who will take their oaths of it: and moreover they do report that thou didst caper after a fashion that was a scandal to look upon." "Oh! the horrid perjurers! But I do believe thou sayest it of thine own villanous invention:-thou wilt come to the gallows, that be one comfort." "A way, old witch!" "I'll live to see thee hanged, thou out rageous little villain." 66 Mount thy broomstick, and be off up the chimney; for thy cousin Beelzebub be waiting for thee, with a goodly bowl of brimstone and treacle for thy supper." "I tell thee I be an honest woman that have had children, and two of 'em be twins," squeaked out the old woman, now in such a rage she could scarcely speak. "Ah! I have heard of thy twins," exclaimed the boy in an aggravating tone: "the midwife told her gossip, and her gossip told the neighbors." "And what said she, thou hangdog?" cried the other, trembling in every limb with the greatness of her passion. "I do defy thee, caitiff; they were as fine twins as ever honest woman had." "Marvellous fine, truly!" replied he, in the same manner; "for I was told by those who had sight of them, that one of them was a three-legged stool and the other an elephant." "Oh! thou horrid young monster! thou perjured little villain!" 66 Away, broomstick!" "Thou hangdog! Thou gallows-bird!" "Out, brimstone!" "Thou misbegotten imp of mischief! Thou" "The devil waiteth supper for thee. Vanish!" "Agh!" shrieked the enraged old woman, with a violent twist of her head, as if she had exhausted all her spite; and then shaking her skinny fist at Harry Daring, she suddenly flung herself out at the door. "Ha! ha! ha!" roared the boy, seemingly in a perfect ecstasy. Well, if this be not the most exquisite fine fun, then know I not what fun is. But methought this drawing of teeth would be good sport; and, if I could only get to bleed a vein now, then should I be content. Ah, puss!—art there still? Well, I must needs have at thee again for lack of another customer. But I want not aught of thy teeth at present: I be only curious to know if thou hast got ever a vein." The mischievous apprentice soon had the cat in his lap again, and after talking to her in a similar strain as at first, with a liberal supply of his Latin, he tied up one of her forelegs with a piece of tape as if about to let her blood. And doubtless would he have persisted in such intention, for he had the lancet in his hand, and the cat lay as still as if she was too frightened to move, when, upon a noise of opening of the door, he let her down quickly, and putting his hands behind him, that none might see what he had hold on, he turned round to see who it was, with a face as demure and innocent as you please. Then there entered no other than Captain Swagger (of whom the reader hath already some knowledge), marching in with the absolutest blustering manner that ever was seen. "Fellow, where's thy master ?" he exclaimed in a voice of thunder, as, with his tremendous sword clattering against the boards as he went, he flung himself into the great chair, looking at the boy as if he would eat him at a mouthful. "Please you, my lord," replied Harry Daring very respectfully, and with a countenance that would have become a judge; "he hath gone to wait upon an alderman, if it please your lordship, who be troubled with the windy colics exceeding badly, please you, my lord; but, as he hath marvellous great confidence in me, knowing that I be skilled beyond my years in everything that appertaineth to chirurgery and to the craft of a barber, he is willing enough I should attend his business in his absence, if it please your lordship therefore, if there be anything you require of my master, if I attempt it you may be well assured it sball lack nothing in the doing, if it please you, my lord." "Canst let blood, fellow?" inquired the captain, somewhat prepossessed in favor of the apprentice, for that he had taken him for a lord. 66 right hand having the lancet very close "I can let anything, if it please your lordship," said the boy, famously well pleased that such was required of him. But, indeed, in the letting of blood lieth my particular skilfulness. I can assure you, for a truth, that I have acquired by repeated practice such excellent cunning in the breathing of a vein, that I do it, and lo!-the patient shall not know it be done. And in all honesty I can add, without boasting, that there be divers worshipful members of the common council who will not hear of any other letting them blood, I be held of them in such high cousideration: which Nay, 'twas only my thumb-nail, remindeth me of what hath been said on which be rather of the sharpest; and this subject by the learned Podalirius-like enough you felt it as I pressed down 'Sanguis draconis granum unum, panis to feel the vein," replied Harry Daring, recentis drachmæ duas; misce et divide in no way put out. "For is it not writ in pilulas centum,' which rightly trans- in Aristotle that there be two kinds of lated reads thus, He that can breathe a veins; as hocus pocus,' an easy vein'vein in such sort as to be out of compari-presto prestissimus,' an 'obstinate vein': son with any other, shall assuredly be considered as one beyond all price among those who would be let blood-if it please you, my lord.” 66 What, canst quote Latin ?" asked Captain Swagger, as completely imposed upon as the old woman had been. "Well, take my arm; but see that I be let blood in proper fashion, fellow! or I will cut off thy ears." "Of that rest you well satisfied," answered the boy, gravely proceeding to bind up the captain's arm, and in no way daunted at his fierce manner; for, in truth, he was of such a spirit that he cared for nothing when he was about any mischief. And as for the quoting of Latin, if it please your lordship, I began so early at it, and took to it so kindly, that I be now accounted such a dabster there be scarce any book in Latin I can not give you chapter and verse out of." The young rogue had by this time bared and tied up the patient's arm, and gave him to hold the handle of an old mop to rest it on, and was looking very earnestly for the vein; but the arm was one of the fattest, and nothing of a vein was to be seen. At this he seemed a little puzzled for a moment; but being of a disposition that would stop at no difficulty, he presently put on a famous knowing look, and made up his mind about what he was to do. Now, grasp you the mop firm, and turn your head away, if it please you, my lord," said the young chirurgeon, pressing of the thumb of his left hand down nigh unto the bend of the arm, and in the "Hast done it?-methought I felt the prick," said his patient quickly. 66 and the latter kind have you, without doubt, for it lieth not easy to be got at, if it please your lordship." Then he made another plunge deeper than at first, at which the captain did wince again; but, to the exceeding puzzlement of the youthful chirurgeon, not a drop of blood did make its appearance. 66 Surely thou hast cut me!" exclaimed his patient with some sort of earnestness. "A murrain on my nail for its sharpness!" cried the boy, still not inclined to relinquish his purpose. "But rest you easy, and turn your head this way on no account, lest something wrong come of it; for truly is it said by Esculapius, 'Hoppeti kicketi corum, hic, hæc, hoc, cum tickle me,' the which doth mean, he that looketh when he be told not, mayhap shall spy what he shall not be pleased to see." Then he made another plunge deeper than ever, at which the captain cried out lustily. "By Gog and Magog!" angrily exclaimed the mischievous apprentice, throwing down the lancet upon finding he was not a whit more successful with it than at first; and quickly taking off the bandage-" thou hast no more blood in thee than I could get out of a pickled herring." It would be impossible properly to describe the rage of Captain Swagger upon turning round and finding a huge gash in his arm, and the vein not a bleeding. His bushy mustaches seemed to curl up with very indignation, and his face, which had got exceeding pale, now was in a monstrous fiery wrath. "A thousand furies!" shouted he, start ing up of a sudden. me in this manner ?" "Hast dared to cut | round the shop, as if valorously resolved to conquer or to die. The one slashed about him his huge sword in a truly dangerous fashion; but the other came to the poke with his barber's pole in so decided a manner, that his enemy seemed to like the appearance of it less and less every moment. "In truth, I have cut thee to the bone!" said the other, as seriously as you please. "And if thou hast ever a vein in thy arm of other sort than I can find in a cabbage leaf, then know I naught of the matter.' "Slave! hast done this and expect to live? Dost know who I be, fellow ?" thundered out the captain, in an increasing passion at the other's coolness. 66 Mayhap thou art a brazier, and carriest thy stock in trade in thy countenance, for in truth it be exceeding brazen," replied the boy, in no way daunted at his patient's fierce looks. "'Sblood! I will crop thy ears for thee on the instant!" bawled Captain Swagger, as he drew forth his tremendous rapier. "What! dost draw on me?" cried the apprentice, making to the door as if about to run for his life; but he was never in a humor for turning tail, for he was back again as quickly as he went, armed with the party-colored pole that standeth ever at such shops as his master's. "Now God defend the right! and look to thyself, old Brazen-nose!" added he. "Villain! dost fight a gentleman with such a heathenish weapon as a barber's pole?" exclaimed the captain in a monstrous astonishment. "Down with it, fellow, or I will mince thee into nothing!" "Nay, if thou likest not a barber's weapon, thou shouldst not draw upon a barber," quietly replied Harry Daring, as he boldly made up to him. "And now for thy ribs!" Would I had Dan Homer's pen to describe the famous combat that took place betwixt these two heroes; for of mine own cunning can I never give the reader an idea of it which will come sufficiently nigh unto the reality—yet what my poor skill can effect he must needs put up with. First, then, there was the redoubtable Captain Swagger, foaming with wrath, flourishing of his formidable rapier, and skipping here and there and everywhere with a wonderful agility, to escape the blows that were quickly aimed at him. - To him came Harry Daring, a very hero among apprentices, who crept cautiously along, holding of his pole with both hands a little in advance of him, with an excellent brave countenance, and ever and anon giving a poke at his opponent wherever he saw a place unguarded. The captain retreating with a marvellously imposing front, and the apprentice following him "Oh, that I could get but one cut at thee!" cried the captain. "I would pay thee handsomely for the villanous hurt thou hast given me on my right side." "Take that on thy left-then one side shall not grumble at t'other," replied the apprentice, hitting him another desperate poke where he had said. "Villain, thou wilt break my ribs!" thundered out his antagonist, evidently in as great pain as rage. "Then art thou but an ass for not having them made stronger," answered the other. But look at thy toes, I pry thee!" and then down came the end of the pole right upon his foot, so heavily that he bawled out with the pain, and began to limp about after such a sort as would have been piteous to look upon, had not the absoluteness of his rage made of him so droll a figure. "I tell thee, fellow, I will have my action of battery against thee!" exclaimed Captain Swagger, making such desperate exertions to ward off the blows of his adversary, and to get out of the way of his terrible weapon, that his great fiery face seemed all in a muck. "That for thy action of battery, old Brazen-nose!" replied Harry Daring, dealing him so famous a poke in his stomach, that it clean sent him over the three-legged stool, with his heels in the air, his hat flying away to one place, and his rapier to another, and his back coming with a monstrous thump upon the floor. "Yield thyself my prisoner-rescue or no rescue!" cried the boy, stepping up to the fallen combatant with the air of a conquering knight-errant. "Oh, my back! my back!" groaned the captain, as he attempted to rise. "By Gog and Magog, thou shalt not rise from this till thou hast agreed upon thy ransom, Sir Brazier," said the apprentice gravely, as he poked him down again with his pole. "Wilt murder me, varlet ?" asked Captain Swagger, looking at the dreadful weapon of his opponent as if there was instant death in it. 66 Nay, I will harm thee not, by the "Prythee tell me what they be, and let me up. First, thou shalt acknowledge thyself conquered in fair fight.” "Granted. Oh, my back!" Secondly, thou shalt pay for thy ranone shilling of good and lawful money of our sovereign lady Queen Elizabeth." honor of chivalry, provided thou dost | tain Swagger take himself off in so eviagree to two or three things I shall re-dent a fright; and then he told the other quire of thee." the whole account of his attempts at chirurgery-at the which, though his companion seemed in a monstrous melancholy humor, he could not help smiling more than once. 66 Indeed, Master Francis," added he at the last, "if thou hadst heard me speaking of my fine Latin, and the infinite gravity of my behavior, thou wouldst never have forgotten it. But the rage of the old witch-that was the fun! Nay, I do think that the sight of Brazennose skipping away from the pole like a roast chestnut bouncing from the fire, was the exquisitest fun of the two. But what aileth thee? for in honest truth thou lookest marvellously disturbed." som ter. Agreed. My ribs be as soft as but- "Lastly, thou shalt from this time forward and for ever, hold in most especial veneration and respect the goodly weapon that hath caused thy overthrow-to wit, a barber's pole." "Spare me there, I prythee!" groaned the prostrate captain, in the most piteous accents ever heard; "I would pay thee another shilling sooner." 66 دو What, dost murmur, Sir Brazier ?" cried out Harry Daring, and was just about to give him an additional poke, when the door opened, and turning round he beheld Master Francis. "Ah! I am right glad to see thee!" he exclaimed, going up to his visiter and shaking him by the hand with great heartiness-"for in truth I have missed thee exceedingly." "But what hast been about with this good gentleman, Harry?" inquired his young friend, who marvelled greatly at seeing of them in such a position. "What! hast dared to rise ?" exclaimed the boy, upon perceiving that as soon as his back had turned the captain had sprung on his legs, with a wonderful agility considering how hurt he was. "I pray you hold him, good sir," cried Captain Swagger, as he made haste to pick up his sword and hat. "He hath used me villanously. He hath hurt my back, my ribs, and my toes, beyond all endurance, by poking me with that heathenish weapon of his. Indeed, he be the horriblest young wretch, and the absolutest little villain-"" "Ha! dost call names, Brazen-nose ?" shouted the apprentice, lifting up his pole as if to renew the combat; but no sooner had the captain caught sight of his intention, than, with a look of the most exceeding horror and alarm, he made two or three tremendous strides to the door, and was out of the house without another word. ""Tis nothing-Harry!-'tis nothing," replied Master Francis. At least I rejoice exceedingly to see thee so famously attired," continued his companion, looking with admiring eyes upon his handsome dress, "and to wear a sword too! Well, he that says thou art not worthy of it lies in his throat; and I would like to cudgel him within an inch of his life. For in truth, in my estimation, thou art good enough for anything. Dost remember when we two were at old Tickletoby's, and thou wert a reading to me the romance of King Arthur and other famous histories? Thou didst then say, if so be thou shouldst ever have the good hap to become a knight, which I always thought would be the case, then should I be thy faithful esquire. Prythee tell me if it be possible to be where thou art-if so, I will straight show my indentures a fair pair of heels; for though I may have sport enough sometimes, in honest truth I would rather wear a sword as thou dost; and should think nothing so pleasant as to be alongside of thee fighting of the paynims and such like caitiffs. Indeed, there be none I think so true a friend as art, thou, when I remember the many times thou hast saved me the birch by helping of me in my tasks." "Hast forgot, dear Harry, how many uncivil boys thou hast beat who did call me names?" inquired Master Francis, kindly. 'Some nearly twice thy size, too." 66 Ah, thou wert then exceeding delicate," replied Harry_Daring, “and unfit to cope with such. Yes, I remember me what a bout I had of it with big Jack o' "Oh, Master Francis, I have had such the Turnstile, for calling of thee Mollyexquisite fine fun!" said the boy, after a coddle’—a murrain on him! He got two long fit of laughing, upon seeing of Cap-famous black eyes, and had his villanous |