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"Midroife. Pray, your lordship, the matter is just the thing, neither hoc nor cold, a proper warmth. Luther. But then, and-suppose, and the like of that, do you mungie, as the saying is, will you have me eat as a pig, with what am I to eut 'up the haggis ? Jackanapes, why don't you layy the cloth and put the bowl, with plates; knife, fork and bread, as is usual? You know I am particularly fond of a Scotch haggis. 5.3 9 Hoji. My lord, you are under a mistake you stand not in need of either plate, knife, fork or bread. A napkin under your chin, I grants may be proper, to prevent drivelling on the bed. 1. Midwife. I shall be careful to catch the drivel, my lord, so that your bed will receive none of its contents. - Luther. Are you mad or drunk, Nincomnoddy? how dare you bring hither an old BedJamite to produce from the royal philosophers of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere one of the most delicious haggeses my
eyes ever beheld, and yet will not prepare the table for my meal, as usual. I have a great mind, Sirrah, but am a priest, and must not give scandal. My zeal is unfurmountable.. i
Hoft. My lord, you mistake; the compofie tion is not a hagges ;-ic is a clyfter, to be ad ministered, as the saying is, or the like of that.
Midwife. My lord, there is no longer time to parley's now or never, as the old women fay. eli Lutber. Ninny-hammer, you have thrown the lawyer into this old woman, to evade oor agreement, according to your-folemh promises
to pass receipts and bear my expences and per1000 living or dead, until I arrive safe in good Old England, in lieu of which you foster an old witch, with gim-cum-crack, that cannot be banquetted upon, tantalizing without fruit. I thall take no itep until the agreement is ligned, the quicker the becter; for I will not promise thac 1 fhałl, not lose my wind, and then you look to it. See what a navel you have made me with your cat's head. u Hoft. My Lord Bishop, I beg you will prop and poize yourself in a proper attitude on your quadrupedes, so that Mother Midnight, I beg ten thouland pardons, Mrs. Mid-cap, Nightcap what numberleis mistakes man is subject to a among che number I Itand foremost. Ma, dam, lay the cloch secure. -, Midwife. All things are now ready for administration. , Pray, my lord, endeavour to rouze yourself, that you may be placed in a favourable and police state, thac
91 The postern.exhibit its native dress, 3. And be delivered from such a peft.. ICO JINba
Hof. All things in our concerns shall be set. iled by the lawyer as soon as the operation or opfer is aver and a calm ensue. JELuther.:Bear testimony, Mother Midnight, on Night cap that the Host and I now pafs receipesnio vfull, from the creation, and that he will discharge your bill, and all and every bill, noce, account, and expenice, calread yo vor may brereafter be incursed for any matter, cause, or
thing whatsoever and wheresoever, local or general, from the commencemeut of my travels breaking ground from England, until my fafe arrival, living or dead, to my native and well beloved country; and according to these prefents we, Hoft and Luther do interchangeably and with mutual and good fellowship of our and each of our free, cordial, and yoluntary will, in this present year 785. So bel it, op the like of that. Now do your will, when the Hoft has agreed.
Midwife. I know not your family connection; but, to all appearance, the poor man finds it hard to fcuffle through life, with two naked hands,' a wife, and fix children. I will only put this fimple question. Is it conscientious, that a poor man that can scarce keep soul and body together, should bear the heavy charges of a travelling Lord, and a Bishop forsooth? Ayes marry, so we will, and a thankey, ha, ha, ha.
Hoft. My account against is here stated, with my receipt in sull, provided you receive the clyfter, and when delivered, quit my house; either accept or reject: ? Lutber. And pay my passage and expences to England,
MIC Midwife. I fall split my old fides, laughing at the miserly poveriy of the old Bishop, who Thould fix his thoughts on his grave, and not in other mens pockers. For shame; fie upomit, ha, ha, ha. «Y10x1 fiontrast brood
Luther. But then, and suppose, and the like of that, as the saying is, do you mungey, and
Zaletu 21 distw concl.1.3 as
as I was going to say, Nincompoop, ninny, hammer, fiddle-dee, dee.
Hoft. Let it be lo; I will bear you harmless to England, provided you fail in the next packet,
Midwife. My patience is worn out at so much misery under a Bishop's garb. I pity the wretch that is under your roof, or subject to your mean, low, niggardly, covetous, and sordid will; how ever, I will act the christian part, turn up topsey-curvy, bottom up; you are big enough to run away with the gates of the city, as SampYon. Old Hoge is not so unwieldy but he can, upon an emergency, reft upon all-fours. Bring hither, Mr. Hoft, the bag-pipe and bowl, and, if you please, to lend a hand; bring the receiver near. I suppose a large eruption, ac cording to appearances, will burst forch; give me that safeguard, for fear a mis-hap, as I put on my best bib and tucker, and Sunday gown to appear in the presence of his lordship. Remove hirt, that master may display the most tremendous face; the delivery is forward, quick, put the cloth close under its chin.
Hoft. Bod-dy-kins, one foot of the raven, or Muscovy drake, is out; a happy omen, harbinger of a plentiful and rich harvest. 7 Midwife. Your surmise is erroneous; the matter, whatever it may be, is a fixture, reprersenting five Tanks or fingers, (I suppose the mother longed for fome favourite or sweetheare's hand) that is most likely. 9 li (Lutber. They are plesant to the feel. I often fpend an idle hour in play with them, it causes za titilation which is pleasing,
Midwife. Now ftand, to your tackle, rold. Harry, have-at-you; I will drive it home, chock and block, and belay; 1 warrant you a gủart of excellent fauce; your buliness is ang swered, I will be bound, neck or nothing; Old Nick hates cripples, therefore you see what an old woman can do.
Hoft. Here it comes, thick and threefold, nothing but brains. I understood the brains belonged to the head; but I find the reverse of the new philosophers of our enlightened age and northern hemisphere are in their fundament. This accounts for the new, philosophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere! Indeed,
slun Mad dogs tbey are, puppies of the age, Ring Blaspbeme their God, gnash and pine with rage, Vagabonds, pests, men of no repute, s id ryksa In vice forward, but in virtue mute. "...
Waddict Midwife. Here are brains enough to enlighten an army of philosophers, if they fed as hearty as that old rascal Voltaire. See here, Host, what a phenomenon, and the most wonderful fight, a crab for all the world, there is her: legs complete, with the mouth champing in the centre, frothing and vomitting out ita brains.
10 M Hoj. Or new, philosophical Gods of this ous, enlightened age and northern hemisphere the face is dreadful, and if one may, pass his verdict, this beast has suffered the rigour and uns 9191 21 çorliding sú gubačinabalhed: