or two at my Butt which I thought very fmart, when my ill Genius, who I verily believe infpir'd him purely for my Destruction, fuggefted to him fuch a Reply, as got all the Laughter on his Side. I was dafhed at fo unexpected a Turn, which the Butt perceiving, refolved not to let me recover my felf, and pursuing his Victory, rallied and toffed me in a moft unmerciful ' and barbarous manner till we came to Chelfea. I had fome fmall Succefs while we were eating Cheefe-Cakes; but coming home, he renewed his Attacks with his former good Fortune, and equal Diverfion to the whole Company. In fhort, Sir, I muft ingenuously own that I was never fo handled in all my Life; and to compleat my Misfortune, I am fince told that the Butt, Aufhed with his late Victory, has made a Vifit or two Ito the dear Object of my Wishes, fo that I am at once in Danger of lofing all my Pretenfions to Wit, and my Mistress into the Bargain. This, Sir, is a true Account of my prefent Troubles, which you are the more obliged to affift me in, as you were your felf ' in a great measure the Cause of them, by recommending to us an Inftrument, and not inftructing us at the fame time how to play upon it.

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I have been thinking whether it might not be highly convenient, that all Butts fhould wear an Infcription 'affixed to fome Part of their Bodies, fhewing on which Side they are to be come at, and that if any them are Perfons of unequal Tempers, there fhould be • fome Method taken to inform the World at what Time it is fafe to attack them, and when you had beft let them alone. But fubmitting thefe Matters to your more ferious Confideration,

I am, SIR, yours, &c.

I have, indeed, feen and heard of feveral young Gentlemen under the fame Misfortune with my prefent Correfpondent. The best Rule I can lay down for them to avoid the like Calamities for the future, is throughly to confider not only Whether their Companions are weak, but Whether themselves are Wits.

THE following Letter comes to me from Exeter, and being credibly informed that what it contains is Matter of Fact, I fhall give it my Reader as it was fent me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

Exeter, Sept. 7.

YNotice of Inconvenience we lie under in the "OU were pleafed in a late Speculation to take Country, in not being able to keep Pace with the Fafhion: But there is another Misfortune which we are fubject to, and is no lefs grievous than the former, which has hitherto efcaped your Obfervation. I mean, the having Things palmed upon us for London Fafhions, which were never once heard of there.

A Lady of this Place had fome Time fince a Box of the newest Ribbons fent down by the Coach: Whether it was her own malicious Invention, or the Wantonness ofa London Milliner, I am not able to inform you; but, among the reft, there was one Cherry-coloured Ribbon, confifting of about half a dozen Yards, made up in the Figure of a fmall Head-Drefs. The aforefaid Lady had the Affurance to affirm, amidst a Circle of Female Inquifitors, who were prefent at the opening of the Box, that this was the newest Fashion worn at Court. Accordingly the next Sunday we had feveral Females, who came to Church with their Heads drefs'd wholly in Ribbons, and looked like fo many Victims ready to be facrificed. This is ftill a reigning Mode among us. At the fame Time we have a fet of Gentlemen who take the Liberty to appear in all publick Places without any Buttons to their Coats, which they fupply with feveral little Silver Hafps, tho' our fresheft Advices from London make no mention of any fuch Fashion; and we are fomething fhy of affording Matter to the Button-makers for a fecond Petition.

WHAT I would humbly propose to the Publick is, that there may be a Society erected in London, to confift of the moft skillful Perfons of both Sexes for the Infpection of Modes and Fashions; and that hereafter no Perfon or Perfons fhall prefume to appear fingularly habited in any Part of the Country, without a Teftimonial from the aforefaid Society, that their Drefs is an‹ swerable

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"fwerable to the Mode at London. By this means, Sir, we fhall know a little whereabout we are.

X

IF you

could bring this Matter to bear, you would

very much oblige great Numbers of your Country Friends, and among the reft,

Your very humble Servant,

Jack Modifh.

N® 176.

Friday, September 21.

Parvula, pumilie, xacitor uía, tota merum fal. Luc.

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HERE are in the following Letter Matters which I, a Batchelor, cannot be fuppofed to be acquaintedwith, therefore fhall not pretend to explain upon it till further Confideration, but leave the Author of the Epistle to exprefs his Condition his own Way.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

Do not deny but you appear in many of your Papers to understand Human Life pretty well; but there are very many Things which you cannot poffibly have atrue Notion of, in a fingle Life; these are fuch as refpect the married State; otherwife I cannot account for your having overlooked a very good Sort of People, which are commonly called in Scorn the Hen-peckt. You · are to understand that I am one of thofe innocent Mortals, who fuffer Derifion under that Word, for being governed by the best of Wives. It would be worth your Confideration to enter into the Nature of Affection it felf, and tell us, according to your Philofophy, why it is that our Dears fhall do what they will with us, fhall be froward, ill-natured, affuming, fometimes 'whine, at others rail, then fwoon away, then come to Life, have the Ufe of Speech to the greateft Fluency imaginable, and then fink away again, and all becaufe they fear we do not love them enough; that is, the poor Things love us fo heartily, that they cannot think

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⚫it

⚫it poffible we should be able to love them in fo great a Degree, which makes them take on fo. I fay, Sir, a true good-natured Man, whom Rakes and Libertines call Hen-peckt, fhall fall into all these different Moods with his dear Life, and at the fame Time fee they are wholly put on; and yet not be hard-hearted enough to tell the dear good Creature that fhe is an Hypocrite.

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This fort of good Man is very frequent in the populous and wealthy City of London, and is the true Hen-peckt Man; the kind Creature cannot break through his Kindneffes fo far as to come to an Explanation with the tender Soul, and therefore goes on to comfort her when nothing ails her, to appeafe her when she is not angry, and to give her his Cafh when he knows fhe does not want it, rather than be uneafy for a whole Month, which is computed by hard-hearted Men the Space of Time which a froward Woman takes to come to herfelf, if you have Courage to ftand out.

THERE are indeed feveral other Species of the Hen-peckt, and in my Opinion they are certainly the beft Subjects the Queen has; and for that Reafon I take it to be your Duty to keep us above Contempt.

I do not know whether I make my self understood in the Representation of an Hen-peckt Life, but I fhall take Leave to give you an Account of my felf and my own Spouse. You are to know that I am reckoned no Fool, have on feveral Occafions been tried whether I will take ill Ufage, and yet the Event has been to my Advantage; and yet there is not fuch a Slave in Turkey as I am to my Dear. She has a good Share of Wit, and is what you call a very pretty agreeable Woman. I perfectly doat on her, and my Affection to her gives me all the Anxieties imaginable but that of Jealoufy. My being thus confident of her, I take, as much as I can judge of my Heart, to be the Reason, that whatever fhe does, tho' it be never fo much against my Inclination, there is ftill left fomething in her Manner. that is amiable. She will fometimes look at me with an affuming Grandeur, and pretend to refent that I have not had Refpe&t enough for her Opinion in fuch an In<ftance in Company. I cannot but fmile at the pretty Anger fhe is in, and then fhe pretends fhe is ufed like

a Child. In a Word, our great Debate is, which has the Superiority in Point of Understanding. She is eternally forming an Argument of Debate; to which I very indolently anfwer, Thou art, mighty pretty. To this fhe answers, All the World but you think I have as much Senfe as your felf. I repeat to her, Indeed you are pretty. Upon this there is no Patience; fhe will throw down any thing about her, ftamp and pull off her Head-Cloaths. Fie, my Dear, fay I; how can a Woman of your Senfe fall into fuch an intemperate Rage? This is an Argument ⚫ which never fails. Indeed, my Dear, fays fhe, you make me mad fometimes, fo you do, with the filly Way you have of treating me like a pretty Ideot. Well, what have I got by putting her into good Humour ? Nothing, but that I must convince her of my good • Opinion by my Practice; and then I am to give her • Poffeffion of my little Ready-Money, and for a Day and half following, diflike all the diflikes, and extol every thing the approves. I am fo exquifitely fond of this Darling, that I feldom fee any of my Friends, am uneafie in all Companies till I fee her again; and when I come home, fhe is in the Dumps, becaufe fhe fays the is fure I came fo foon only because I think her handfome. I dare not upon this Occafion laugh; but tho' I • am one of the warmest Chuchmen in the Kingdom, I am forced to rail at the Times, becaufe fhe is a violent Whig. Upon this we talk Politicks fo long, that shẻ is convinc'd I kifs her for her Wifdom. It is a common • Practice with me to ask her fome Question concerning the Conftitution, which fhe answers me in general out of Harington's Oceana: Then I commend her ftrange Memory, and her Arm is immediately locked in mine. While I keep her in this Temper fhe plays before me, ⚫ fometimes dancing in the midst of the Room, fometimes ftriking an Air at her Spinnet, varying her Pofture, and her Charms in fuch a manner that I am in continual Pleafure: She will play the Fool if I allow her to be wife, but if fhe fufpects I like her for her Trifling, the immediately grows grave.

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THESE are the Toils in which I am taken, and I carry off my Servitude, as well as moft Men; but my Applica