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Dum. Dark needs no candles now, for dark | And gives to every power a double power,
Biron. Your mistresses dare never come in rain,
For fear their colours should be wash'd
King. Twere good, yours did; for, Sir, to tell you plain,
I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day. Biron. I'll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
King. No devil will fright thee then so much as she.
Dum. I never knew man hold vile stuff so
Long. Look, here's thy love
Her feet were much too dainty for such
Dum. O vile! then as she goes, what upward lies
The street should see as she walk'd over head.
King. But what of this? Are we not all in love?
Biron. Oh! nothing so sure; and thereby all forsworn.
King. Then leave this chat; and, good Birón now prove
Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn. Dum. Ay, marry, there;-some flattery for this evil.
Long. Oh! some authority how to proceed; Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
Dam. Some salve for perjury.
Biron. Oh! 'tis more than need ?-
And where that you have vow'd to study, lords,
For when would you, my lord, or you, or you,
Why, universal plodding prisons up
In leaden contemplation, have found out
Above their functions and their offices. It adds a precious seeing to the eye; A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind; | A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound, When the suspicious head of theft is stopp'd ; Love's feeling is more soft and sensible, Than are the tender horns of cockled snails : Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in
For valour, is not love a Hercules,
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love;
Or women's sake, by whom we men are men ;
King. Saint Cupid, then ! and, soldiers, to the field !
Biron. Advance your standards, and upon them lords;
Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advis'd, In conflict that you get the sun of them.
Long. Now to plain-dealing; lay these glozes
Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France ? King. And win them too; therefore let us devise
Some entertainment for them in their tents. Biron. First, from the park let us conduct them thither;
Then, homeward, every man attach the hand
King. Away, away! no time shall be omitted, That will be time, and may by us be fitted. Biron. Allons! Allons!-Sow'd cockle reap'd no corn;
And justice always whirls in equal mea
andacions without impudency, learned without pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a opinion, and strange without heresy. I did joyful father wouldst thou make me! Go to; converse this quondam day with a companion thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers' ends, as of the king's, who is intituled, nominated, or they say. called, Don Adriano de Armado.
Hol. Novi hominem tamquam te: His humour is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filled, his eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. + He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it were, too perigrinate as I may call it.
Nath. A most singular and choice epithet.
Hol. Oh! I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
Arm. Arts-man, præambula; we will be singled from the barbarons. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the mountain ?
Hol. Or, mons, the bill.
Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Hol. I do, sans question.
[Takes out his table-book. Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbo- Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure sity finer than the staple of his argument I and affection, to congratulate the princess at her abhor such fanatical phantasms, such unsociable pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the and point-devise companions; such rackers of rude multitude call the afternoon. orthography, as to speak, dout, fine, when he Hol. The posterior of the day, most geneshould say, doubt; det, when he should pro-rous Sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable nounce, debt; d, e, b, t; not d, e, t: he clepeth for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, chose; a calf, cauf; half, hauf; neighbour, vocatur, sweet and apt, I do assure you, Sir, I do asnebour, neigh, abbreviated, ne: This is abhomi- sure. nable, (which he would call abominable,) it insinuateth me of insanie; Ne intelligis domine ? to make frantic, lunatic.
Nath. Laus deo, bone intelligo.
Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend: -For what is inward between us, let it pass : -I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy ;
Hol. Bone?-bone, for bene: Priscian a I beseech thee, apparel thy head;-and among
little scratch'd; 'twill serve.
Enter ARMADO, MOтH, and COSTARD.
Arm. Men of peace, well encounter'd.
[TO COSTARD aside.
Arm. Monsieur, [To HoL.] are you not let
Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the hornbook:
What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his
Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added. Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a You hear his learning.
other importunate and most serious designs,and of great import indeed, too;-but let that pass-for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio: but sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world but let that pass.-The very all of all is,
but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy,-that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, § with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate and your sweet self, are good at such eruptions, and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance,
Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine worthies.-Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our assistance, -the king's command, and this most gallant, horn:-illustrate, and learned gentleman,-before the princess; I say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies.
Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant? Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, l.—
Moth. The sheep: the other two concludes it; o, u.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallaut gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pom
Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Miditerra-pey the great; the page, Hercules. neum, a sweet touch, ¶ a quick venew ** of wit: snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect; true wit.
Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.
Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure ?
Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.
Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and will whip about your infamy circum circà; A gig of a cuckold's horn!
Cost. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very remuneration I bad of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeonegg of discretion. Oh! an the heavens were so
Arm. Pardon, Sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
Hol. Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry well done Hercules! now thou crushest the snake! that is the way to make an offence gracious; though few have the grace to do it.
Arm. For the rest of the worthies ?-
Arm. We will have, if this fadge not an antick. I beseech you, follow.
Hol. Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while.
Dull. Nor understood none neither, Sir.
Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play on the tabor to the worthies, and let them dance the hay.
Hol. Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-Another part of the same.-Before the PRINCESS' Pavilion.
Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA.
Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in:
A lady wall'd about with diamonds!-
Prin. Nothing but this? yes, as much love in ryhme,
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Kath. You'll mar the light, by taking it in snuff;
Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument.
Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i'the dark.
Kath. So do not you; for you are a light wench.
Ros. Indeed, I weigh not you; and therefore light.
Kath. You weigh me not-Oh! that's you care not for me.
Ros. Great reason; for, Past cure is still past care.
Prin. Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd.
But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Ros. I would, you knew:
An if my face were but as fair as your's,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
Ros. Much, in the letters; nothing in the praise.
Prin. Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
My red dominical, my golden letter:
Prin. But what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
Kath. Madain, this glove.
Prin. Did he not send you twain?
Mar. This, and these pearls, to me sent Longaville;
The letter is too long by half a mile. Prin. I think no less: Dost thou not wish in heart,
The chain were longer, and the letter short? Mar. Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
Prin. We are wise girls, to mock our lovers
Ros. They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Birón I'll torture ere I go.
And wait the season, and observe the times,
So portent-like would I o'ersway his state,
Prin. None are so surely caught, when they
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd, Hath wisdom's warrant, and the help of school; And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
Ros. The blood of youth burns not with such
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
Mar. Folly in fools bears not so strong a note,
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote ;
Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Boyet. Oh! I am stabb'd with laughter I Where's her grace?
Prin. Thy news, Boyet?
Boyet. Prepare, madam, prepare !Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are Against your peace: Love doth approach disguis'd,
Armed in arguments; you'll be surpris'd: Muster your wits; stand in your own defence; Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly bence.
Prin. Saint Dennis to saint Cupid! What are they,
That charge their breath against us? say, scout,
Boyet. Under the cool shade of a sycamore,
I thought to close mine eyes some half au bour:
When, lo! to interrupt my purpos'd rest,
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
And ever and anon they made a doubt,
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.
I should have fear'd her, had she been a devil.
With that all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder.
Cried, Via! we will do't, come what will come :
Boyet. They do, they do and are apparel'd
Like Moscovites, or Russians as I guess,
For ladies, we will every one be mask'd;
So shall Birón take me for Rosaline.-
Ros. Come on then; wear the favours most in sight.
Kath. But, in this changing, what is your intent?
Prin. The effect of my intent is, to cross
They do it but in mocking merriment ;
Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't! Prin. No; to the death, we will not move a foot:
Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace; But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part. Prin. Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt, The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out. There's no such sport, as sport by sport o'er
To make their's our's, and our's none but our
So shall we stay, mocking intended game; And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame. [Trumpets sound within. Boyet. The trumpet sounds; be mask'd, the maskers come. [The ladies mask.
Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked; MOTH, Musicians, and Attendants.
Moth. All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!
Boyet. Beauties no richer than rich taffata. Moth. A holy parcel of the fairest dames, [The ladies turn their backs to him. That ever turn'd their-bucks-to mortal views!
Biron. Their eyes, villain, their eyes. Moth. That ever turned their eyes to mortal views! Out
Boyet. True; out, indeed.
Moth. Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold
Biron. Once to behold, rogue.
Moth. Once to behold your sun-beamed eyes, -with your sun-beamed eyesBoyet. They will not answer to that epithet; You were best call it, daughter-beamed eyes. Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
Biron. Is this your perfectness ? be gone, you rogue.
Ros. What would these strangers ? know their minds, Boyet:
If they do speak our language, 'tis our will
Boyet. What would you with the princess? Biron. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation.
Ros. What would they, say they?
Boyet. Nothing but peace and gentle vistation. Ros. Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
Boyet. She says, you have it, and you may be
King. Say to her, we have measur'd many miles, To tread a measure with her on this grass.
Boyet. They say, that they have measur'd many a mile,
To tread a measure with you on this grass,
Is in one mile if they have measur'd many,
Boyet. If, to come hither you have measur'd
And many miles; the princess bids you tell,
Boyet. She hears herself.
Ros. How many weary steps,
Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without accompt.
Ros. My face is but a moon, and clouded too. King. Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars to sbine
(Those clouds remov❜d,) upon our wat'ry eyne. Ros. O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter; Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
King. Then, in our measure, do but vouchsafe one change:
Thou bid'st me beg; this begging is not strange. Ros. Play, music, then: nay you must do it [Music plays. Not yet;-no dance :-thus change I like the
King. Will you not dance? How come you thus estrang'd?
Ros. You took the moon at full; but now she's chang'd.
King. Yet still she is the moon, and I the man The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it. Ros. Our ears vouchsafe it.
King. But your legs should do it.
Ros. Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We'll not be nice: take hands ;-we will not dance.
King. Why take we hands then?
Court'sy, sweet hearts; and so the measure
King. More measure of this measure; be not
Ros. We can afford no more at such a price. King. Prize you yourselves; What buys your
Will they not, think you, hang themselves to night?
Or ever, but in visors, show their faces ? This pert Birón was out of countenance quite. Ros. Oh! they were all in lamentable cases! The king was weeping-ripe for a good word. Prin. Biron did swear himself out of all suit. Mar. Dumain was at my service, and his sword:
No point quoth I; and my servant straight was mute.
Kath. Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;
And trow you, what he call'd me?
Kath. Yes, in good faith.
Ros. Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps. +
Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you. But will you hear the king is my love sworn.
Biron. One word in secret.
Prin. Let it not be sweet.
Biron. Thou griev'st my gall. Prin. Gall? bitter.
Biron. Therefore meet.
[They converse apart.
Dum. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
Mar. Name it.
Dum. Fair lady,
Mar. Say you so? Fair lord,
Take that for your fair lady.
Dum. Please it you,
As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
[They converse apart. Kath. What was your visor made without a tongue ?
Long. I know the reason, lady, why you ask. Kath. Oh! for your reason! quickly, Sir; I long.
Long. You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless visor half.
Long. A calf, fair lady?
Kath. No, I'll not be your half:
Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox. Long. Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks !
Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so. Kath. Then die a calf, before your horns do
Long. One word in private with you, ere I die.
Kath. Bleat softly hen, the butcher hears you cry. [They converse apart. Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor's edge invisible, Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen; Above the sense of sense: so sensible Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings,
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
Ros. Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
Biron. By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff.
King. Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.
Prin. And quick Birón hath plighted faith to
Kath. And Longaville was for my service born. Mar. Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on
Boyet. Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear: Immediately they will again be here In their own shapes; for it can never be, They will digest this harsh indignity. Prin. Will they return?
Boyet. They will, they will, God knows; And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
Therefore change favours ; and when they repair,
Blow like sweet roses in the summer air. Prin. How blow? how blow speak to be un derstood.
Boyet. Fair ladies mask'd, are roses in their bud:
Dismask'd, their damask sweet conmixture shown,
Are angels veiling clouds, or roses blown.
Prin. Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do, If they return in their own shapes to woo? Ros. Good madam, if by me you'll be advis'd,
Let's mock them still, as well known, as disguis'd:
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Boyet. Ladies, withdraw; the gallants are at band.
Prin. Whip to our tents, as roes run over land.
[Exeunt PRIN. ROS. KATH. and MARIA. Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits. King. Fair Sir, God save you! Where is the princess?
Boyet. Cone to her tent, Please it your majesty,
Command me any service to her thither? King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
Boyet. I will; and so will she; I know, my lord. (Exit. Biron. This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons
[Exeunt KING, Lords, MOTH, Music and Attendants. Prin. Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites.-At Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at? Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
Ros. Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross, fat, fat.
Prin. O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Falsify dice, lie.
wakes, and wassels, meetings, markets, fairs,
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know Have not the grace to grace it with such show.