ap with Aftonishment, not a Heart but is
torn with Compaffion at the Depredations of
thofe Blood-thirsty Danes, when plundering
and burning Year after Year our Towns on
the Sea-Coaft, and murdering the poor inno-
cent English! But in that Part of the Story,
where the Ancestors of thofe English are
driving out the true and native Proprietors A
from those very Places, wherein their own
Pofterity met with fo juft a Retaliation,
there no-body feels any Concern for the fuffer-
ing Side! All the Remark we are willing to
pare in that Place upon the Subject, is that
thefe conquering Forefathers of ours were the
bravest People in the World; and that they
have left us their courageous Hearts for a
Token!

B

I was thrown into this Track of thinking, upon cafting my Eye over a Page or two of a Book called the British Empire in America, where I met with a Succeffion of these low, anjuft, and indeed dishonest Reflections, occafioned by a defperate Attempt of fome unhappy Negro Wretches about 30 Years ago, to throw off the Yoke of their never-ending C Slavery, in one of our Plantations, by a rash and unfuccefsful Rebellion.

Had this Writer confin'd his Cenfure to the Imprudence and Precipitation of their Defign, it had been a juft Remark: But, to condemn it with a serious Face of Austerity, as a Piece of perfidious and ungrateful Villai#y; to pretend that there could be any natural Injustice in the Endeavours of a wretched D Race, to deliver themselves and their latest Pofterity, from a Condition to which Death is a thousand Times preferable, (and from which our Ancestors are known to have delivered this Kingdom, by the Murder of thoufands of their Oppreffors, in cold Blood, in one fingle Night) is to turn Reasoning into Stupidity, blot out Seriousness from Hiftory, E and render ridiculous the Pretences of Truth, Juice and Morality.

The proper Remark which one would have expected on such an Occafion, had been by way of Caution to our induftrious Countrymen in those diftant Settlements, not to encrease with too unguarded an Avarice, the Numbers of their black Inmates from Africa. Inftructive Inftances might have been drawn from the Hiftories of all civiliz'd Nations to make manifeft the dangerous Likelihood of their becoming defirous and able, in fome future Period of Time, to recover their own Freedom, by the Deftruction of their Masters, fo much weaker than themfelves in Number, and fo much less able to fupport the Labours and Severities of a War, in cafe of G fo probable and fo blondy a Struggle, as that between Luxury and Mifery.

Universal Spectator, Jan. 4. N° 326.

The Abufe of Words, particularly in Relation to great Names and Titles.

TH

HE Word King, which fignifies only a certain Ruler placed over a People to provide for their Security, promote their Inte refts and defend their Liberties, and who ceafes to be a King when he ceases to take Care of his Country: This Word King, I fay, has loft its real primitive mild Meaning in moft Parts of the World, and ferves only to convey an Idea of an abfolute defpotick national Bully, who, like Drawcanfir in the Play, dares be fo because he dares. And whenever this Word conveys a wrong Idea, and the People call that King they ought more properly to ftile Tyrant, aw'd by Cruelty they give him the blafphemous Relation to the God of Mercy, and fuffer the Defolation he causes, because they think he has a Right to destroy them. Let any Englishman take a View of all the Monarchies in the World, and what two Kingdoms will he find whofe People are not miferably deluded by the Abufe of this Word? And when he has taken the View, let him confefs the Happinefs of his own Country, which ever had, and ftill retains a right Idea of the Word, and now enjoys all the Bleffings which a King was originally defigned to give his People, and whole King receives back all the fincere Teftimonies of Duty that free and loyal Sub. jes ought to offer.

But deviating from the political Senfe of Words, the Generality of Mankind have their Sight ftrangely dazzled by looking up at Things tho' ever fo little above them. How many People of tolerable good Senfe, in a middle Station of Life, are deceived in their Notions of People of Quality, who like other Idols are worshiped because they are not known? The Title of Lord conveys to Perfons without Reflection. a Superiority in natural Endowments as well as Fortune; it not only gives a Sanction to all the filly Things that his Lordship himself may utter, but fuch is the Power of Nobility, it elevates them into Senfe, and the inconfiderate Judges con

clude

It is not He that nods, but They that dream.

Mr. Gazette is an Adorer of Nobility, and never fo happy as when he can get three Minutes Conference with a Right Honourable; for then he is conftantly quoting, My Lord

fays fo. But what is furprizing, Mr. Gazette has in Reality more Knowledge than the Nobleman he quotes, is more vers'd in facred and profane Hiftory, not to mention his fuperior Skill in Politicks, and tho' he pays fuch a Deference to the Honour of a Baron of Viscount, yet is himself far more

eminent in Integrity, and fcorns to contract
a Debt without an Intention of ever paying
it. Perfonal Merit is the only true Nobility,
and the Lord who inherits the Dignities
without the Virtue of his Ancestors, is but a
defpicable Creature. Too often the Virtues
and Merits of a whole Race of Dons are con-
tain'd in that Preamble to the Patent which A
conferr'd the Title on fome Anceftor; nay,
perhaps the Preamble itself, tho' fwell'd with
Panegyrick, muft, like Epiftles Dedicatory,
be conftrued by the Rule of Contradiction to
come to their true Meaning.

The Title of 'Squire is too common in
Town to have any Deference paid to it, but
in the Country it is a Word highly reverenc'd
by them who ftare upon Things at a Dif- B
tance. A Country Squire is look'd on in
London as a good-humour'd Creature, who
bears a mortal Antipathy to Latin, the Par-
Jon, and an empty Bottle; who in his own
Shire, and upon his own Eftate, retails War.
rants, follows his Dogs, and drinks his Gal-
lon of March Beer.

another. Lord Fanny, for Inftance, is a Paftrycook, who deals altogether in Puff-paste, and endeavours to draw Cuftomers to his Shop by thole pretty Crinkum-Crankums, with which he adorns his Goods. Dame Ofborne, on the contrary, is one of thofe old fashion'd WomenCooks, who pretend to nothing more than plain Rafting and Boiling; nay, the does even this in fo fluttish a Manner, that many People are forpris'd to fee her continued fo long in a Gentleman's Service; but it is generally supposed that having been an old Stander, and let into the Secrets of the Family, her Master is afraid to turn her off, left the fhou' make fome Discoveries; for every Body knows that she hath the Devil of a Tongue, and often throws out broad Hints what the will do, if he should provoke her. Mr. Walsingham pretends to greater Things, and gives himself the Air of a Cook of Quality, tho' God knows his only Talent lies in toffing up a few Kickfbarus, which have neither Tafe, nor Subftance in them. The Couranteers are a Sort of Suttlers, who follow the Camp, and keep a dirty Cook's Shop for the worst of Company. We have befides a Set of anniversary Writers, who do not appear on ordinary Occafions, but are kept as a Corps de Referve, to maintain the Poft of Honour, and juftify all the remarkable Bunders of the Year. These Gentlemen refemble th fe extraordinary Cooks, who are call'd in to affift, upon great Entertainments, where the King, or other Perfonages of bigb D Rank are expected to be prefent. I muft likewife own myself to be a political Cook, who keep a trepenny Ordinary every Saturday for all Comers; and tho' I do not pretend to any great Skill in those nice Difbes, fo much in Fashion at prefent, I hope the Publick will do me the Juftice to own that I dreis nothing but what is perfectly whole fome, and agreeable to an English Stomach.

I fhall conclude with obferving, there is C no judging of Men from Names and Titles, and that there is no Merit but what is perfonal. Virtue therefore and Good Nature ought to be prized when they accompany the lowest Fortune; and Folly and Knavery fhould be fcorn'd, tho' they fhould be found in the higheft.

Craffman, Jan. 4. No 444.

Political Cooks, &c.

Have often thought within myfelf that there is a near Refemblance between Authors and Cooks; and no Doubt it was fuch a Reflection, which gave Dr. King the Hint of turning Horace's Art of Poetry into the Art of Cookery.

In the first Place, Cooks are generally obferved to be very cholerick, or faucy, and are apt to lay their Hands on any Body, that comes in their Way. Horace gives us Authors the fame Character, when he calls us

-Genus irritabile vatum; which may be apply'd to Profe Writers, as well as Poets: For there is not a more wafpih, vindictive Race of Animals on the Face of the Earth than most of our modern Au thors, who look upon themselves as Gentlemen by Profeffion, and therefore obliged in Honour to refent any Affront. If you prefume to question the Abilities even of fuch a Fellow as Carus, or the meanest Grub, that ever took a Goofe-quill in his Hand, his Stomach immediately boils with Refentment, and you'll be fure to feel the Marks of his Indignation.

Of Cooks there are various Kinds, as well as of Authors, who tally very well with one

E

An Author, like a Cook, ought to have a regular Education, and to learn his Trade under fome experienced Mafter, before he prefumes to fit up for himself; yet as Scullions have fometimes the Impudence to profefs Cookery, so we have feen Men commence Authors, without learning to spell, or understanding a Word of Grammar. But this is fo tender a F Point, that I cannot explain my felf any farther upon it, without drawing the whole Poffe of minifterial Writers upon my Back.

A good Cook does not always ferve up the fame Things, like Mother Ofborne, without any Varation, or Propriety; but gives us every Dish in Seafon, and every Course in order. In Summer Time, Things of light Digeftion are agreeable to moft Constitutions, G and even Whipt Syllabubs and Ice Creams make a pretty Figure up on a Table; but towards the latter End of the Year, People expect fomething more fubftantial, to warm their Blood and keep up their Spirits. For my Part,

I have always endeavoured to imitate this Rule of Cookery in my Writings, and shall purfue it in my future Lucubrations.

Pickles and Sauces have been always allowe, in Moderation, to fharpen the Appetite, and give a Reush to the Meat. But what Ulage does that Cook deferve, who makes Vie of Jalap, or Alfa fætida, and gives the Company a Vomit, initead of quickening their Stomachs, or pleafing their Palates? Such Cooks may be compared to thofe Authors, who, for Want of Wit and Humour to feafon their Writings, endeavour to give them a falfe Gufto, by throwing in large Quantities of Billing fgate and perfonal Scurrility.

It is one of the antient and undoubted Pri

A

D

vileges of all Cooks to lick their own Fingers; B
that is, to get a reasonable Profit by their
Bufineis; and Authors, no Doubt, have the
fame Right; but as a Cook would be certainly
hang'd, who fhould be convicted of taking
Money to poifon People; fo an Author de-
ferves the fame Fate, or even a feverer, who
endeavours to raise himself out of Rags and
Obfcurity, by fcribbling away the Liberties of
bis Country. This is fo exactly the Cafe of
our minifterial Advocates, that whenever I fee
them writing about our Conflitution, I can-
not help thinking of the old Saying, that
Ged fends us Meat, but the Devil fends Cooks.
But to drop the Allufion; whilst my late
Correfpondent was obliging the Publick with
his excellent Differtation on Parties, (Vol. III.
p. 655.) it was pleasant enough to obferve
how all the puny Dabblers in Politicks kept
pecking at him and endeavoured to teaze him
out of his Defign; but he treated them like
the noble Mafiff, in the Spectator, who being
attack'd by a Parcel of little yelping Curs,
fcorn'd to encounter fuch Reptiles, and con-
tented himself with p--fing upon them, as
they crept at his Heels. Juft fo that eternal
old Beldame Mother Ofborne, hath been pe-
kering us every Week with her ftale Cant,
that the British Conftitution was never in more
Vigour than at prefent; and that we enjoy as
much Liberty as buman Nature is capable of;
with her ufual Defiances to point out any In-
flances, where the prefent Royal Family bave
invaded our Conftitution, or acted contrary to
Law. At the fame Time, the virtuous Mr. F
Walfingbam took the Caufe of Corruption
under his Protection, and endeavoured to vin-
dicate that favourite Attribute of his Patron,
from the Imputation of having deftroy'd the
Authority of the Caftilian Cortes, and confe-
quently the Caftilian Liberties. The grand
Confederacy in the Courant came in to the
Affiftance of thefe Writers, and exerted their
known Abilities in throwing Stinkpots at all
Perfons, who prefumed to fuppofe that there
were any Defects in the prefent Adminiftra-
tion, or to deny the divine, indefeazable Right
of Corruption. This Confederacy confifts, as I

E

am informed, of publick-fpirited Gentlemen of feveral Nations, Profeffions, and Religions, who appear under different Names; fuch as Carus, Britannus, Freeman, the political Upbolsterer, &c. But amongst all of them, I am moft delighted with that extraordinary Genius, who figns his Papers A. B. tho' I am told he ought to fubfcribe himself A. C. But, perhaps, the Gentleman may chufe to diftinguifh his Character, rather than his Name, and every Body mult certainly allow him to be A B.---However, let us confider him, as he appears to us in the Courant; where he hath taken indefatigable Pains to prove himself a faft Friend to ministerial Dependency, and an implacable Enemy to the Country Intereft. Indeed, nobody can charge the poor Gentleman with acting an inconfiftent Part; for, as to the fift, it is well known, that he hath a good Place at prefent, and we have great Reafon to fuppofe he had a Penfion before; then as to the fecond, who can wonder that any Gentleman fhould be angry with a Set of factious Patriots, who rais'd a Clamour in the Country, which threw him out of his Seat in Parliament, and by those Means did all in their Power to rob him of his Employment? But as they have not fucceeded in the latter, I make no Doubt that he will be restored to the former, as foon as thofe Perfons, who are chofen for more than one Place, have an Opportunity of making their Options; efpecially when we confider that the Discovery of a moit horrid Plot, to purge us out of our Faith, and make us spew up the Proteftant Religion, was intirely owing to the Penetration and Sagacity of the fame incomparable Head; for tho' the Signatures A. B. are not affix'd to this Paper, a Judge of Writing will immediately perceive by the Redundancy of the Stile, that it could come from no other Hand.

This Plot, indeed, hath been turn'd to Ridicule, as moft Plats commonly are, and a thousand little Jokes have been thrown out upon the Discoverer of it; becaufe a Proteftant Officer forfooth encourag'd Mr. Wd to come over hither, a Proteftant Minifter procured him a Pardon for that Purpofe, and a Proteftant Judge hath recommended his Remedies to the Publick, by a Certificate under his own Hand of their wonderful Effects. But, what is really furprizing, even the Perfon, for whofe Service this Paper was calculated, feems to be ashamed of it, by fuffering it to continue out of Print, when there is fo great a Demand for it. I gave 5 s. for one of them my felf, and was even obliged to G advertife, before I could get it; an Honour, which I believe is feldom done the Courant. Nay, fome People have been fo malicious as to fuggeft that this very Perfon employ'd his Emiffaries to fleal it out of Coffeehouses, and order'd his Publisher, not to print or feil any

more.

But this Sort of Arcbnefs hath been fo long

out of Fashion, till our Author revived it, that

many People were not aware of it. For my

own Part, I must confefs that I was fairly

bit; for I really believ'd that his Obfervati-

ons had proceeded from fomething or other,

which he had actually feen at Mr. W—d's

House ;

A

and never fufpected him of fo deep a

Defign as that of brewing up a Plot against

the Pope, inftead of difcovering one against the

Proteftant Religion.

HE States General of the united Pro-

vinces having fhewn an extraordinary

Care and Tenderness for the Eafe of their

Subjects, by coming to a Refolution not to

make any Additions to their Land Forces, as

well as to fit out no unneceffary naval Expe-

ditions, (See Vol. III. p. 670.) I fhall em-

Cploy a Thought or two upon the antient and

prefent Policy of that induftrious Hive.

D

This ingenious Artifice puts me in mind
of a Set of metry Wags, call'd Biters, who
flourish'd fome Years ago, and are thus defcrib'd
by the Spectator,
A Biter is one, who
tells you a Thing you have no Reafon to difbe-
lieve in itfelf, and perhaps bath given you, be-
fore be bit you, no Reafon to difbelieve it for bis
faying it; and if you give him Credit, laughs
in your Face, and triumphs that be bath de-
ceiv'd you. In a Word, a Biter is one, who
thinks you a Fool, because you do not think him
a Knave. The fame Author tells us,
this Sort of Wit was first practifed by the
Sharpers about Town; but fhallow Fops, who
are govern'd by the Eye, and admire every
Thing, that fruts in Vogue, took it up from the
Sharpers, and used it upon all Occafions, either F
to diforun any nonfenfical Staff they fhould talk
nemfelves, or evade the Force of what was

reafnably faid by others. Thus, when one of

thefe cunning Creatures was enter'd into a De-

bate with you, whether it was practicable, in

the prefent State of Affairs, to accomplish fuch

a Propofition, and you thought be bad let foll

what deftroy'd bis Side of the Question, as foon G

as you look'd with an Earneftnefs ready to lay

bold of it, be cry'd Bite, and you were imm-

diately to acknowldge all that Part was in

Feft.

* See the Courant Dec. 10.

fills his little Granary to provide for 'the Time of Scarcity and bad Weather. The Hollanders are, in this Respect, the Pifmires of the human Race. They make ⚫ their Country the Storehouse of Cbriffendem,

nor is there a Nation in Europe, fome Time ⚫ or other, when a Scarcity has happen'd in ⚫ their own Country, that has not been o- A bliged to buy their own Corn back again from the Hellanders at an advanced Price.

Next they imitate the Grafhopper; for as it is the Cuftom of these little Creatures to fwarm abroad in the Summer, fo do the • Dutch in the fishing Seafons, lying as thick upon thofe Seas where the Fish is taken as Grafhoppers do in the Fields.

In their Self-Prefervation they follow the 'Caution of the Coney, which burroughs ⚫ under Ground and works itfelf into a Forti'fication amidst Rocks or Hills. Tho' Na⚫ture has made no Rocks in Holland, or scarce

B

fo much as a Stone is to be found there un' der Ground, yet have thofe People made ⚫ artificial Rocks for their Defence, in which they defended themselves against all the Power of Spain, when that Monarchy ⚫ feem'd to be too powerful for all the Reft ⚫ of Europe; I mean their ftraeng Holds and Fortifications. Nay, they have done more, ⚫ for they have invaded Neptune in his own Territories, and gain'd a confiderable Tract ⚫ of Land of him, which they maintain at a ⚫ conftant Charge, and keep Poffeffion of, by ⚫ftrong Mounds and Banks, fo that great D • Numbers of the Hollanders live as low as the Fish in the Sea.

E

Laftly, they may be compared to Spiders; for as this little Emblem of Industry, hav⚫ing no Materials of his own, yet works a moft curious Manufacture, (if I may be allow'd that Expreffion) out of its own Bowels; fo the Hollanders, in a Country which ⚫ produces nothing of its own Growth for them to work upon, yet for many Years have furnish'd Strangers with the Product ⚫ of the various Climates of the World, which they procure with so much Pain and Labour, that it may not improperly be faid, they work it out of their own Bowels. One of the Maxims by which they have throve is, that no Moißure fructifies or manures like the F • Dew of Sweat."

Having quoted this Paffage relating to the Industry of the Hollanders, if we enquire into the Cause of it, we shall find it to be owing to Frugality. Frugality, I fay, is the Nurse of Industry; profufe and extravagant People Bever are induftrious; Rapine and Plunder is more fuitable to their Genius. But when I fpeak of Frugality, I do not mean private Frugality, tho' I allow it is by that, that private Families muft thrive in Trade and Bufiness; but the Frugality which relates to the juft and honeft Management of the publick Re

venues; for it was by this Virtue that the Commonwealth of Holland rofe in Spight of a thousand Difficulties.

They are not fo happy to be furrounded by the Ocean as we are, and therefore they are under a Neceffity of always keeping fome Forces to garrifon their Frontier Towns; but they take Care that in Time of Peace there shall be no more maintain'd than what are abfolutely neceffary for that Purpose; the whole Affairs of the Revenues are managed by fuch few Hands, and thofe few have fuch small Salaries, in Comparison of what is paid to the numerous useless Drones in fome other Countries, that it may be truly faid the People's Money is applied to the Defence and Support of the State.

-If they had ever lain under the Misfortune of having a grand Penfionary, or other chief Magiftrate who was himself a Pilferer; if they were obliged to pay great Sums yearly, on Pretence of the publick Service, and they fhould fee thofe Sums drawn away by Jobbs, funk under the Article of fecret Service, or diftributed in Bribes, in order to form a Party to defend their Plunderers from publick Juftice, I am of Opinion their Induftry would have forfaken them long ago.

G

It is by Integrity and Frugality, with Refpect to the Publick, that this State was able to fupport itself, and encrease in Strength. It is ftrange, that during a War of fixty Years, without any Intermiffion, they fhould be able to extend their Commerce, grow in Wealth, and not run a Shilling in Debt. It fhews what prodigious Things may be done in Nations where the Publick Affairs are managed by wife Heads and clean Hands.

A

S. The Statefman and the Patriot.

Statesman, as the Name prope ly implies, is one, who by being perfectly acquainted with the Laws of Nature and of Nations, knows how to act for the Intereft and Security of his Country; knows how to protect her from the Defigns and Encroachments of foreign Powers, and how to keep the Balance even at Home betwixt private Property and the Prerogative of the Crown.

Whenever fuch a Man arises in the State, and has Honefty equal to his Capacity, he attracts the moft folemn Veneration, and is look'd on as the Guardian of the Realm; the whole Profperity of the Land is imputed to the Wisdom of his Counfels, and on every Emergency of Danger and Disadvantage, the Eyes of the whole World are turn'd upon him for Redress.

But a Statesman in the Reverse of this Character is to be confider'd as a great Minifter who happens to be quite a Stranger to all this Kind of political Knowledge, as well as unpractifed in active Honefty. He

B

may