they may be innocently dull, and no one take any notice of it. But to fee men, without either wit or argument, pretend to run down divine and human laws, and treat their fellow fubjects with contempt, for profeffing a belief of thofe points on which the prefent as well as fu ture intereft of mankind depends, is not to be endured. For my own part, I fhall omit no endeavours to render their perfons as defpicable, and their practices as odious in the eye of the world, as they deserve.

N° 90.

I

Wednesday, June 24.

-Fungar vice cotis

I'll play the whetstone.

-Hor. Ars Poet. v. 304.

Creech.

T is, they fay, frequent with authors to write letters to themselves, either out of laziness or vanity. The following is genuine, and, I think, deferves the attention of every man of lenfe in England.

SIR,

T

To the GUARDIAN.

June 20.

Hough I am not apt to make complaints, and have never yet troubled you with any, and little thought 1 ever fhould; yet feeing that in your paper of this day, you take no notice of yesterday's Examiner, as I hoped you would, my love for my religion, which is fo nearly concerned, would not permit me to be filent. The matter, Sir, is this. A bishop of our church (to whom the Examiner himself has nothing to object, but his care and concern for the Proteftant religion, which by him, it feems, is thought a fufficient fault) has lately published a book, in which he endeavours to fhew the folly, ignorance, and mistake of the church of Rome in its worship of faints. From this the Examiner takes occafion to fall -upon the author with his atmoft malice, and to make him the fubject of his ridicule. Is it then become a crime for a Proteftant to speak or write in defence of his religion ? Shall a Papilt have leave to print and publish in England what he pleases in defence of his own opinion, with the Examiner's approbation; and shall not a Protestant be

20

permitted to write an answer to it? For this Mr Guar dian, is the prefent cafe. Last year a Papift (or, to please Mr Examiner, a Roman Catholic) publifhed the life of St Wenefrede, for the use of those devout pilgrims whe ge in great numbers to offer up their prayers to her at her well. This gave occafion to the worthy prelate, in whofe diocese that well is, to make fome obfervations upon it; and in order to undeceive fo many poor deluded people, to fhow how little reason, and how fmall authority there is, not only to believe any of the miracles attri buted to St Wenefrede, but even to believe there ever was fuch a perfon in the world. And shall then a good man, upon fuch an account, be liable to be abused in fo public a manner? Can any good Church-of-England-man bear to fee a bishop, one whom her prefent Majelty was pleased to make, treated in fo ludicrous a way? Or should one pafs by the fcurrility and the immodefty that is to be found in feveral parts of the paper; who can with patience fee St Paul and St Wenefrede fet, by the Examiner, upon a level, and the authority for the one nade by him to be equal with that for the other? Who that is a Chri {tian, can endure his infipid mirth upon fo ferious an oc• cafion? I must confefs it railes my indignation to the greateft height, to fee a pen that has been long employed in writing panegyrics upon perfons of the first rank (who would be indeed to be pitied, were they to depend upon that for their praise); to fee, I say, the fame pen at last made ufe of in the defence of Popery.

I think I may now, with justice, congratulate with thofe whom the Examiner diflikes; fince, for my own part, I fhould reckon it my great honour to be worthy his disesteem, and should count his cenfure praife. I am, SIR,

Your most humble servant.

The above letter complains with great juftice against this incorrigible creature; but I do not infert any thing concerning him in hopes what I fay will have any effect upon him, but to prevent the impression what he says may have upon others. 1 ball end this paper with a letter f have jull now written to a gentle nag, whose writings are

often inferted in the Guardian, without deviation of one title of what he fends.

I

SIR,

June 23.

Have received the favour of your's with the inclofed, which made up the papers of the two last days. I cannot but look upon myself with great contempt and mortification. when I reflect that I have thrown away more hours than you have lived, though you so much excel me in every thing for which I would live. Till I knew you, I thought it the privilege of angels only to be very knowing and very innocent. In the warmth of youth to be capable of fuch abftracted and virtuous reflections, with a fuitable life, as thofe with which you entertain yourself, is the utmost of human perfection and felicity. The greateft honour I can conceive done to another, is, when an elder does reverence to a younger, though that younger is not diftinguished above him by fortune. Your great. contempt of pleasures, riches, and honour, will crown you with them all; and I wish you them, not for your own fake, but for the reafon which only would make them eligible by yourfelf, the good of others. I am,

No 91.

I

Dearest youth,

Your friend and admirer,

NESTOR IRONSIDE.

H&FFFFFFF&&&&&&&

Thursday, June 25.

Ineft fua gratia parvis.

Little things have their value.

T is the great rule of behaviour, to follow nature. The author of the following letter is fo much convinced of this truth, that he turns what would render a man of little foul exceptious, humourfome, and particular in all his actions, to a fubject of rallery and mirth. He is, you must know, but half as tall as an ordinary man: but is contented to be still at his friend's elbow, and has fet up a club, by which he hopes to bring those of his own fize into a litt. reputation.

I

Remember a faying of your's concerning perfons in low circumftances of ftature that their little nefs would hardly be taken notice of if they did not manifelt a consciousness of it themselves in all their behavi Indeed, the obfervation, that no man is ridiculous for being what he is, but only in the affectation of being fomething more, is equally true in regard to the mind and the body.

our.

I queftion not but it will be pleafing to you, to hear, that a fer of us have formed a fociety, who are fworn to dare to be short, and boldly bear out the dignity of littleness under the nofes of thofe enormous ingroffers of manhood, these hyperbolical monsters of the spaces, the tall fellows that overlook us.

The day of our inftitution was the tenth of December, being the shortest of the year, on which we are to hold an annual feast over a dish of shrimps.

J

獎 The place we have chofen for this meeting. is in the Little Piazza, not without an eye to the neigbourhood of Mr Powell's opera for the performers of which we have, as becomes us, a brotherly affection.

At our first resort hither, an old woman brought her fon to the club rooni, defiring he might be educated in in this fchool, becaule the faw here were finer boys than ordinary. However, this accident no way difcouraged our defigns. We began with fending invitations to thofe of à ftature not exceeding five feet, to repair to our affembly; but the greater part returned excufes, or pretended they were not qualified.

One faid, he was indeed but five feet at prefent; but represented, that he fhould foon exceed that proportion, his periwigmaker and fhoemaker having lately promifed him three inches more betwixt them.

Another alledged, he was fo unfortunate as to have one leg fhorter than the other and whoever had determined his ftature to five feet, had taken him at a disadvantage; for when he was mounted on the other leg, he was at least five feet two inches and a half.

There were fome who questioned the exactness of our measures; and others, instead of complying, returned us informations of people yet shorter than themfelves. In a word almost every one recommended fome neighbour or acquaintance, whom he was willing we fhould look upon to be less than he. We were not a little ashamed, that those who are paft the years of growth, and whose beards pronounce them men, fhould be guilty of as many unfair tricks in this point, as the most aspiring children when they are measured.

We therefore proceeded to fit up the club-room, and provide conveniences for our accommodation. In the first place we caufed a total removal of all the chairs, foals, and tables, which had ferved the gross of mankind for many years. The difadvantages we had undergone while we made use of thefe, were unfpeakable. The prefi. dent's whole body was funk in the elbow chair; and when his arms were fpread over it, he appeared, to the great leffening of his dignity, like a child in a go-cart. It was alfo fo wide in the feat, as to give a wag occasion of faying, that notwithstanding the prefident fat in it, there was a fede vacante. The table was fo high, that one who came by chance to the door, feeing our chips just above the pewter dishes, took us for a circle of men that fat ready to be fhaved, and fent in half a dozen bar. bers. Another time one of the club fpoke contumelioufly of the prefident, imagining he had been abfent, when he was only eclipfed by a flask of Florence which flood on the table in a parallel line before his face. therefore new-furnished the room in all respects propor. tionable to us; and had the door made lower, fo as to admit no man of above five feet high, without brushing bis foretop; which whoever does, is utterly unqualified to fit among us.

Some of the ftatutes of the club are as follow.

We

I. if it be proved by any member, though never fo duly qualified, that he ítrives as much as poffible to get above his fize, by ftretching, cocking, or the like; or that he hath flood on tiptoe in a croud, with defign to be taken for as tall a man as the reft; or hath privily conveyed any large book, cricket, or other device under