thought they were obliged to comfort him: Honeft farmer, (faid one of them) do not afflict yourfelf; the wife you have loft was a good one, it is true, but there is as good to be had;-I have three daughters, for my part; take your choice of them. Lord have mercy upon us (replied the farmer) it is better to lofe one's wife than one's cow: My wife is hardly three hours dead, and here are half a dozen people already offering to fupply her place for me; but when my cow died, the devil a one spoke of giving me another. A SEAMAN'S COOLNESS. A SAILOR who was amazed by the tricks of a juggler, at Chefter, was blown up with the rest of the auditory, by a spark of a candle reaching fome gunpowder in the lower apartments. Jack was foftly landed in a cabbage-garden at fome diftance, and when he had quietly re-feated himself, his firft exclamation was, "D-mme, what will this fellow do next ?" MR. who, during the late war was furgeon of the Namur, afking one of his patients how he did, the feaman anfwered, “Thank Ĝon, I am quite recovered. What, you thank God, do you, you dd fcoundrel, faid the furgeon; I'll learn you to thank God! and began beating him. You dd rafcal, you ought to thank me, not God; for it was I that cured you! MANDEVILLE, in his Fa ble of the Bees, feems to have formed a whimsical notion of what were, in his time, the requifites to make a judge, for, he fays, any tolerable lawyer, not notorious for difhonefty, is always fit to be judge as foon as he is old, and fufficiently ferious to go through his business with a grave face. A WHITE man meeting an Indian afked him," Whofe Indian are you?" to which the copper-faced genius replied, "I am God Alwhofe Indiannighty's Indian; are you ?" THE epithets and figures that fome people make use of in telling a ftory, are truly ridiculous and laughable. A perfon once related what had happened to him in the following words: "I was croffing a large field, and when I came pretty near the middle, a bull followed me, and roared like thunder. I flew like lightning to keep out of his clutches; and being in a tedious hurry in getting. over the ftile, I tore my breeches as if heaven and earth were coming together." THE following curious anecdote is related of Buonaparte in one of our London Papers :-When the Count d'Antraigues was arrefted in Italy, his papers difclofed the correfpondence that exifted between Pichegru and the Prince of Condé ; and the Count was examined at Milan by Buonaparte. In the course of their converfation, M. d'Antraigues obferved, that from the nature of things, France would be obliged to revert to a monarchy. "At any rate," replied Buonaparte, if the monarchy is re-established, it will not be done by a ferjeant of artillery-but by men like you and me.” Poetry. An ODE to the UNION, as recited by the AMERICAN ROSCIUS* at various THEATRES on the CONTINENT. WRITTEN BY ANTHONY PASQUIN. CHARM'D by the radiance of fome vernal day, And yielding all to wonder and to fame ; And wantons, trembling in the etherial beam! As Sorrow fhrunk, contracted in her fears! Seraphic Nymph, immaculate and fair; Impudence is want of feeling. Her winning accents, like the Theban boy, Withheld perdition from the ways of men ; As her bald, gafping, fafcinated young, Dropt from the clammy nipple where they'd gorg'd and hung! To her adheres the tributary main; The tawny Heathens of the western woods, At her fuperior behest engage, Or loose the fhuddering victim of their rage; Inter the calamet with fhouts and ceafe t' infult the flain! Flufh'd with the luftihood of ardent truth, The wild probation of her realm is o'er Mr. HODGKINSON, "Bellona's Bellona's Which stunn'd creation with its direful note, The jocund fwains resume their Doric reed, And abrogate the memory of woe ! Who fhall bedim her manumitting course ? Nor MALEDICTIVE FRAUD, nor SACRILEGIOUS FORCE! Thrice happy land, fuperlatively blest, The feat of irrefiftlefs Mirth: Though youngest daughter of the earth, She unadulterate, met the focial fight : She met the duty that another fought, And mark'd it on the tablet of her mind; Towards grave Philology her younglings grew, Her finewy fons exacted what they will'd, They rov'd unconscious of Pollution's toys; They scoop'd the bark to furrow trackless feas; And the hoarfe raven murmur'd Hecate's vows; Rear'd golden heaves where lurching panthers prowl'd, And made the ruffet heath and plashy lowland fmilę ! Her growing being knew no feudal spell; The feeds of Reason on her glebe were fown; The legend of the Monk was never known; Her ear was unannoy'd by Superstition's bell. 'Tis thine to guard her from the tooth of Shame; 'Tis thine to confecrate her civic fame ; Be juft in principle-in action kind, BID SCIENCE MINGLE WITH THE PUBLIC MIND; Or BESTIAL IGNORANCE, fo dire, so free, Or fur the placid lineaments of Grace! Say, fhall COLUMBIA be defpoil'd by knaves? You've poifon'd all the philofophic springs, And ftain'd the nobleft caufe that ever influenc'd man! Where shall the wretched reft, when God's denied? Say, is it wife to reimbitter life, Tabforb the fentiment in Mifery's gloom! They've wounded Faith who smooth'd the fang of Strife, Who can behold the pregnant feasons roll; The undulation of the fecund tide : The Tempest lafhing Hecla's rugged fide; And all the varied wonders of the skies, 'Twas not the energy of hosts like these, Who made the vile luxuriant Afian feel, The weight of Valor's arm-the probing of his fteel; Who cleft the brawny Scythian's maffy creft : Who made the votive Carthagenian yield; Who gor'd the ftern Numidian's ample breast, And won the trembling globe at Zama's blood-wash'd field! [mould, But men like you (pointing to the Volunteers) all warm from Manhood's Erect and hardy, agile, true and bold : To every thing, in Friendship's guise, a friend, Prompt to forgive, but eager to defend ! Should ftricken Liberty her aims impart, Her gallant legions would indignant hear, And And every nerve draw vigour from the heart : Would give his race to penalties and pains? Till the foft fighs of myriads touch'd thy ear, Slew the Leviathan of regal power; Or Nepthe's necromantic zone : The folace of the univerfe is thine; Alcides' ftrength, and Virtue's fong; Exceffive Freedom has herself o'erthrown, Ah! what is man, that he should thus forego The voice of Science and of Senfe is loft; To render what is pitiable, worse ; She |