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thought they were obliged to comfort him: Honeft farmer, (faid one of them) do not afflict yourfelf; the wife you have loft was a good one, it is true, but there is as good to be had;-I have three daughters, for my part; take your choice of them. Lord have mercy upon us (replied the farmer) it is better to lofe one's wife than one's cow: My wife is hardly three hours dead, and here are half a dozen people already offering to fupply her place for me; but when my cow died, the devil a one spoke of giving me another.

A SEAMAN'S COOLNESS.

A SAILOR who was amazed by the tricks of a juggler, at Chefter, was blown up with the rest of the auditory, by a spark of a candle reaching fome gunpowder in the lower apartments. Jack was foftly landed in a cabbage-garden at fome diftance, and when he had quietly re-feated himself, his firft exclamation was, "D-mme,

what will this fellow do next ?"

MR.

who, during the late war was furgeon of the Namur, afking one of his patients how he did, the feaman anfwered, “Thank Ĝon, I am quite recovered. What, you thank God, do you, you dd fcoundrel, faid the furgeon; I'll learn you to thank God! and began beating him. You dd rafcal, you ought to thank me, not God; for it was I that cured you!

MANDEVILLE, in his Fa ble of the Bees, feems to have formed a whimsical notion of what were, in his time, the requifites to make a judge, for, he fays,

any tolerable lawyer, not notorious for difhonefty, is always fit to be judge as foon as he is old, and fufficiently ferious to go through his business with a grave face.

A WHITE man meeting an Indian afked him," Whofe Indian are you?" to which the copper-faced genius replied, "I am God Alwhofe Indiannighty's Indian; are you ?"

THE epithets and figures that fome people make use of in telling a ftory, are truly ridiculous and laughable. A perfon once related what had happened to him in the following words: "I was croffing a large field, and when I came pretty near the middle, a bull followed me, and roared like thunder. I flew like lightning to keep out of his clutches; and being in a tedious hurry in getting. over the ftile, I tore my breeches as if heaven and earth were coming together."

THE following curious anecdote is related of Buonaparte in one of our London Papers :-When the Count d'Antraigues was arrefted in Italy, his papers difclofed the correfpondence that exifted between Pichegru and the Prince of Condé ; and the Count was examined at Milan by Buonaparte. In the course of their converfation, M. d'Antraigues obferved, that from the nature of things, France would be obliged to revert to a monarchy. "At any rate," replied Buonaparte,

if the monarchy is re-established, it will not be done by a ferjeant of artillery-but by men like you and me.”

Poetry.

An ODE to the UNION, as recited by the AMERICAN ROSCIUS* at various THEATRES on the CONTINENT.

WRITTEN BY ANTHONY PASQUIN.

CHARM'D by the radiance of fome vernal day,

And yielding all to wonder and to fame ;
Th' afpiring Eagle dares his first effay,

And wantons, trembling in the etherial beam!
Thus, thus COLUMBIA, by her wrongs infpir'd,
The dread explosion of her vengeance hurl'd:
By Magnanimity and Freedom fir'd,

As Sorrow fhrunk, contracted in her fears!
As Confanguinity diffolv'd in tears!
She brav'd the ills of war's afflictive hour;
She burft the fetters of her infant power;
And rofe among the nations of the world!

Seraphic Nymph, immaculate and fair;
On either cheek Idalian roses blow;
On either lip the honied rubies glow;
Thus feem'd Minerva with her golden hair!
To her the ecftacies of found belong,
She hails the numbers of the lyric fong;
With modeft temperature of mind,
She lives to think, and thinking is refin'd;
Modefty is blifs concealing,

Impudence is want of feeling.

Her winning accents, like the Theban boy,

Withheld perdition from the ways of men ;
Uprais'd the fumptuous mart and gave a race to Joy
They wrap'd the brindled Tygress in her den,

As her bald, gafping, fafcinated young,

Dropt from the clammy nipple where they'd gorg'd and hung!

To her adheres the tributary main;

The tawny Heathens of the western woods,
Who fkirt Obio's banks and Niagara's floods,

At her fuperior behest engage,

Or loose the fhuddering victim of their rage;

Inter the calamet with fhouts and ceafe t' infult the flain!

Flufh'd with the luftihood of ardent truth,
She looks the guileless intimate of Truth;
Like the rare Phenix, with a peerless grace,
She's rifen from the ashes of her race.

The wild probation of her realm is o'er
That iron epoch is no more;

Mr. HODGKINSON,

"Bellona's

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Bellona's
's paralyfing blaft,

Which stunn'd creation with its direful note,
Difeafing every organ that it fmote,
Is perish'd and is past :

The jocund fwains resume their Doric reed,
'Mid Beauty's odours on the garish mead,
With generous emanation glow,

And abrogate the memory of woe !

Who fhall bedim her manumitting course ?

Nor MALEDICTIVE FRAUD, nor SACRILEGIOUS FORCE!

Thrice happy land, fuperlatively blest,

The feat of irrefiftlefs Mirth:

Though youngest daughter of the earth,
Who, last enfranchis'd, art the best ;
Bland as the origin of light,

She unadulterate, met the focial fight :
Emerging, blazoning in a golden hour,
While more antique divifions of the earth,
Dismantled by the retinue of Dearth,
Were fell'd beneath a furreptitious power:
Time never wrap'd her in a gothic web;
The tide of her ideas knew no ebb :
To Nature's fimple inftitutes refign'd,

She met the duty that another fought,
From all the hallow'd decalogue has taught,

And mark'd it on the tablet of her mind;

Towards grave Philology her younglings grew,
By briefer means than proud Europa knew:
Emaciate Sloth and her Lethean train,
Elude the redolent domain :

Her finewy fons exacted what they will'd,
The loom gave raiment, and the glebe was till'd:
Nectarious clusters mellow'd in the blaze,

They rov'd unconscious of Pollution's toys;
Their Sabbath came, the period of their joys:
Aud labour dulcified their fylvan days:

They scoop'd the bark to furrow trackless feas;
They hew'd an alley for the vagrant breeze :
Their active morals foften'd Fancy's dream:
They cut meanders for the gushing stream:
They thinn'd the matted foreft, on whose boughs,
The famish'd vulture, and the falcon fcowl'd,

And the hoarfe raven murmur'd Hecate's vows;
Unhous'd the worm who flavers to defile,

Rear'd golden heaves where lurching panthers prowl'd, And made the ruffet heath and plashy lowland fmilę !

Her growing being knew no feudal spell;

The feeds of Reason on her glebe were fown;

The legend of the Monk was never known;

Her ear was unannoy'd by Superstition's bell.

'Tis thine to guard her from the tooth of Shame; 'Tis thine to confecrate her civic fame ;

Be juft in principle-in action kind,

BID SCIENCE MINGLE WITH THE PUBLIC MIND;
Let not Opinion moulder Wisdom's base,

Or BESTIAL IGNORANCE, fo dire, so free,
Deform the statutes of Urbanity,

Or fur the placid lineaments of Grace!
Away with Vanity's delufive theme,
The Bigot's dogma, and the Sophift's dream;
With partial good Humanity fhould reft,
'Tis not in Nature to be wholly bleft-

Say, fhall COLUMBIA be defpoil'd by knaves?
Say, fhall her manly progeny be flaves?
Hence, ye Profane, to lefs abundant climes,
She fhall not be polluted with your crimes;
Thofe ills the Parthian and the Goth have done,
Perturbed Gallia now become your own;
O'er proftrate empires thy all-fhivering deeds,
Like Demolition's ruthlefs lightning, ran;
Lo, the pale Vestal at her altar bleeds,

You've poifon'd all the philofophic springs,
Made recreant Dread apologize for Kings,

And ftain'd the nobleft caufe that ever influenc'd man!
Thy brittle laws, like phantoms of the brain,
Are scarce coeval with the flash of thought;
They rife, like Gorgons, reproducing pain,
Yet ere we afcertain they are-they're nought!
The Talmud and the Sybil's auguring page,
The hymn of Ifrael-the Apoftle's lore,
Commix in fading embers on thy shore,
The fad memorial of an impious rage!
Tremendous nation, from thy clotted fanes,
Unholy incenfe to the breeze is given;
Meek angels flit o'er Clemency's remains;
Thy gorgeous villanies have anger'd heav'n!

Where shall the wretched reft, when God's denied?
Where is the recompenfe of moral pride?

Say, is it wife to reimbitter life,

Tabforb the fentiment in Mifery's gloom!

They've wounded Faith who smooth'd the fang of Strife,
They've murder'd Hope who lur'd us to the tomb !

Who can behold the pregnant feasons roll;

The undulation of the fecund tide :

The Tempest lafhing Hecla's rugged fide;
The planetary atoms fall and rife,

And all the varied wonders of the skies,
Then afk-if there's a Soul?

'Twas not the energy of hosts like these,
Subdued the fierce Arfacides;

Who made the vile luxuriant Afian feel,

The weight of Valor's arm-the probing of his fteel;

Who cleft the brawny Scythian's maffy creft :

Who made the votive Carthagenian yield;

Who gor'd the ftern Numidian's ample breast,

And won the trembling globe at Zama's blood-wash'd field!

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But men like you (pointing to the Volunteers) all warm from Manhood's

Erect and hardy, agile, true and bold :

To every thing, in Friendship's guise, a friend,

Prompt to forgive, but eager to defend !

Should ftricken Liberty her aims impart,

Her gallant legions would indignant hear,
Repel the infidious elements of Fear,

And

And every nerve draw vigour from the heart :
Who, for th' ignoble privilege to breathe,

Would give his race to penalties and pains?
Who, to exift, would bear the yoke and writhe?
"Twere better not to be, than be-in chains!
Imperial Liberty on mountains bred,
By Jove illumin'd, and by fages fed :
For thee, immortal maid, for thee we live ;
Thou art the firm Palladium of our State,
The most illuftrious donative of Fate,
Who giving thee, has little elfe to give!
Oh, freight us with thy calm defire;
Exalt our fpirits with celeftial fire;
Oft have I feen thee buxom and fublime,
Bathing thy fandals in Aurora's dew:
Or fcudding, vigilant, with palfied Time,
To gather all he knew:

Till the foft fighs of myriads touch'd thy ear,
Then haft thou hurried o'er the formy deep,
To extirpate Despair,

Slew the Leviathan of regal power;
Difpell'd the dark'ning Demon of the hour,
And bade the forrows of a region fleep!
Lefs bounded thy dominion's known,
Than Circe's clew of grief :

Or Nepthe's necromantic zone :
Or Cyprus' maddening chief:

The folace of the univerfe is thine;
You ope the calices in Flora's vales;
You feed the odour of the fpicy gales,
And amplify the burthen of the mine-
Tranfcendant nymph, ineffably you seem,
More pure than Dian in the virgin stream!
She yields her document with Spartan pride,
Yet as the heaven-caught bounty flows,
The liberal bofom feels, and feeling glows,
And he has liv'd too long, who lives to be denied!
Give us, to fhun the points of wrong,

Alcides' ftrength, and Virtue's fong;
Be Charity's behest our own;

Exceffive Freedom has herself o'erthrown,
In the vaft latitude of active right,
Let Retrospection harmonize our might;
Admit th' egregious to their favage will,
The progrefs of their fupplicated joy,
Would but the more diffufively deftroy,
And every cause would be a fovereign ill!

Ah! what is man, that he should thus forego
The harmony of Peace, for variegated Woe?
But, in the mental fury toft,

The voice of Science and of Senfe is loft;
Abborrent PARTY, rankling, foul and thin,
Cimmerian monster-delegate of Sin;
Inflaming aught, that Loveliness diftreffes:
Noxious as Medusaan treffes;
She belches forth her peftilential curfe ;
Envenoms that she would defpise,

To render what is pitiable, worse ;

She

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