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thought they were obliged to com any tolerable lawyer, not notorifort him : Honeft farmer, (faid ous for dishonesty, is always fit one of them) do not afflict your to be judge as soon as he is old, self; the wife you have lost was and sufficiently ferious to go through a good one, it is true, but there is bis business with a grave face. as good to be had ;-I have three daughters, for my part; take your
A WHITE man meeting an Inchoice of them. Lord have mer
dian asked him,“Whofe Indian are cy upon us ( replied the farmer) it you?" to which the copper-faced is better to lose one's wife than genius replied, “ I am God Alone's cow: My wife is hardly nighty's Indian ; whose Indianthree hours dead, and here are are you ?" half a dozen people already offering to supply her place for ine;
THE epithets and figures that but when my cow died, the devił some people make use of in telling a one fpoke of giving me another.
a story, are truly ridiculous and
laughable. A person once relatA SEAMAN'S COOLNESS. ed what had happened to him in A SAILOR who was amazed the following words: “I was by the tricks of a juggler, at Chef. croffing a large field, and when I ter, was blown
with the rest of came pretty near the middle, a the auditory, by a spark of a can
bull followed me, and roared like dle reaching fome gunpowder in thunder. I flew like lightning to the lower apartments. ^ Jack was keep out of his clutches; and besoftly landed in a cabbage-gardening in a tedious hurry in getting at some distance, and when he had over the stile, I tore my breeches quietly re-seated himfelf, his first
as if heaven and earth were comexclamation was,
“ D-mme, ing together." what will this fellow do next ?!
THE following curious anecMR. - who, during the dore is related of Buonaparte in late war was furgeon of the Na one of our London Papers :mur, asking one of his patients When the Count d'Aatraigues how he did,--the seaman answer. was arrested in Italy, his papers ed, “ Thank God, I am quite disclosed the correspondence that recovered. What, you thank existed between Pichegru and the God, do you, you do fcoun- Prince of Condé ; and the Count drel, said the furgeon ; I'll learn was examined at Milan by Buonyou to thank God! and began aparte.
In the course of their beating him. You d. d rafcal, conversation, M. d'Antraigues obyou ought to thank me, uot God; served, that from the nature of for it was I that cured you ! things, France would be obliged
to revert to a monarchy. MANDEVILLE, in his Fa any rate," replied Buonaparte, ble of the Bees, seems to have if the monarchy is re-established, formed a whimsical, notion of it will not be done by a ferjeant what were, in his time, the requi- of artillery--but by min like you sites to make a judge, for, ke fays, and me."
An ODE to the UNION, as recited by the AMERI
CAN ROSCIUS* at various THEATRES on the CONTI.
HRITTEN BY ANTHONY PASQUIN.
And yielding all to wonder and to fame ;
And wantons, trembling in the eth«rial beam!
The dread explosion of her vengeance hurl'd :
She burst the fetters of her infant power ;
On either cheek Idalian roses blow;
On either lip the honied rubies glow ;
To her the ecstacies of sound belong,
Modesty is bliss concealing,
Her winning accents, like the Theban boy,
Withheld perdition from the ways of men ;
They wrap'd the brindled Tygress in her den,
The tawny Heathens of the western woods,
Or loose the shuddering victim of their rage;
Bellona's paralysing blast,
Is perish'd and is past :
The seat of irresistlefs Mirth :
Bland as the origin of light,
She unadulterate, met the social fight :
While more antique divisions of the earth,
Dismantled by the retinue of Dearth,
Time never wrap'd her in a gothic web ;
The tide of her ideas knew no ebb :
She met the duty that another sought,
From all the hallow'd decalogue has taught,
Towards grave Philology her younglings grew,
They rov'd unconscious of Pollution's toys;
Their Sabbath came, the period of their joys :
They scoop'd the bark to furrow trackless seas;
And the hoarse raven murmur'd Hecate's vows;
Rear'd golden heaves where lușching panthers prowlid,
The feeds of Reason on her glebe were sown;
Her ear was unannoy'd by Superstition's bell.
Or BestiAL IGNORANCE, so dire, so free,
Or llur the placid lincaments of Grace !
Away with Vanity's delusive theme,
With partial good Humanity Mould rest,
Like Demolition's ruthless lightning, ran;
Made recreant Dread apologize for Kings,
Are scarce coeval with the flash of thought ;
Yet ere we ascertain they are they're nought! The Talmud and the Sybil's auguring page,
The hymn of Israel—the Apostle's lore, Commix in fading embers on thy shore, The sad memorial of an impious rage! Tremendous nation, from thy clotted fanes,
Unholy incense to the breeze is given ;
Thy gorgeous villanies have anger'd heav'n!
Tabsorb the sentiment in Misery's gloom !
They've murder'd Hope who lur'd us to the tomb !
The undulation of the fecund tide :
Then ask if there's a Soul?
Who gor'd the stern Numidian's ample breast,
But men like you (pointing to the Volunteers) all warm from Manhood's Erect and hardy, agile, true and bold :
To every thing, in Friendship's guise, a friend,
Her gallant legions wou indignant hear,
And cvery nerve draw vigour from the heart :
Would give his race to penalties and pains ?
'Twere better not to be, than be--in chains !
By Jove illumin'd, and by fages fed :
Thou art the firm Palladium of cur State,
The most illustrious donative of Fate, Who giving thee, has little else to give!
Oh, freight us with thy calm desire ;
Exalt our fpirits with celestial fire ; Oft have I seen thee buxom and sublime,
Bathing thy sandals in Aurora's dew :
To gather all he knew :
To extirpate Despair ,
Than Circe's clew of grief :
Or Cyprus' maddening chief : The folace of the universe is thine;
You ope the calices in Flora's vales.
You feed the odour of the spicy gales, And amplify the burthen of the mine
Transcendant nymph, ineffably you seem,
More pure than Dian in the virgin stream ! She yields her document with Spartan pride,
Yet as the heaven-caught bounty flows,
The liberal bosom feels, and feeling glows,
Give us, to fhun the points of wrong,
Alcides' strength, and Virtue's song ;
Exceffive Freedom has herself o'erthrown,
Let Retrospedion harmonize our might ;
The progress of their fupplicated joy,
Would but the more diffusively destroy,
Ah! what is man, that he should thus forega
Noxious as Medufæan tresses ;
Envenoms that she would despise,