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thought they were obliged to com any tolerable lawyer, not notorifort him : Honeft farmer, (faid ous for dishonesty, is always fit one of them) do not afflict your to be judge as soon as he is old, self; the wife you have lost was and sufficiently ferious to go through a good one, it is true, but there is bis business with a grave face. as good to be had ;-I have three daughters, for my part; take your

A WHITE man meeting an Inchoice of them. Lord have mer

dian asked him,“Whofe Indian are cy upon us ( replied the farmer) it you?" to which the copper-faced is better to lose one's wife than genius replied, “ I am God Alone's cow: My wife is hardly nighty's Indian ; whose Indianthree hours dead, and here are are you ?" half a dozen people already offering to supply her place for ine;

THE epithets and figures that but when my cow died, the devił some people make use of in telling a one fpoke of giving me another.

a story, are truly ridiculous and

laughable. A person once relatA SEAMAN'S COOLNESS. ed what had happened to him in A SAILOR who was amazed the following words: “I was by the tricks of a juggler, at Chef. croffing a large field, and when I ter, was blown


with the rest of came pretty near the middle, a the auditory, by a spark of a can

bull followed me, and roared like dle reaching fome gunpowder in thunder. I flew like lightning to the lower apartments. ^ Jack was keep out of his clutches; and besoftly landed in a cabbage-gardening in a tedious hurry in getting at some distance, and when he had over the stile, I tore my breeches quietly re-seated himfelf, his first

as if heaven and earth were comexclamation was,

“ D-mme, ing together." what will this fellow do next ?!

THE following curious anecMR. - who, during the dore is related of Buonaparte in late war was furgeon of the Na one of our London Papers :mur, asking one of his patients When the Count d'Aatraigues how he did,--the seaman answer. was arrested in Italy, his papers ed, “ Thank God, I am quite disclosed the correspondence that recovered. What, you thank existed between Pichegru and the God, do you, you do fcoun- Prince of Condé ; and the Count drel, said the furgeon ; I'll learn was examined at Milan by Buonyou to thank God! and began aparte.

In the course of their beating him. You d. d rafcal, conversation, M. d'Antraigues obyou ought to thank me, uot God; served, that from the nature of for it was I that cured you ! things, France would be obliged

to revert to a monarchy. MANDEVILLE, in his Fa any rate," replied Buonaparte, ble of the Bees, seems to have if the monarchy is re-established, formed a whimsical, notion of it will not be done by a ferjeant what were, in his time, the requi- of artillery--but by min like you sites to make a judge, for, ke fays, and me."

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An ODE to the UNION, as recited by the AMERI

CAN ROSCIUS* at various THEATRES on the CONTI.

CHARM'D by the radiance of fome vernal day,

And yielding all to wonder and to fame ;
Th' aspiring Eagle dares his first essay,

And wantons, trembling in the eth«rial beam!
Thus, thus COLUMBIA, by her wrongs inspir’d,

The dread explosion of her vengeance hurl'd :
By Magnanimity and freedom fir’d,
As Sorrow shrunk, contracted in her fears !
As Confanguinity disolv'd in tears!
She brav'd the ills of war's afliðive hour;

She burst the fetters of her infant power ;
And rose aniong the nations of the world !
Seraphic Nymph, immaculate and fair ;

On either cheek Idalian roses blow;

On either lip the honied rubies glow ;
Thus seem'd Minerva with her golden hair :

To her the ecstacies of sound belong,
Shc hails the numbers of the lyric Tong;
With modeft temperature of mind,
She lives to think, and thinking is refindl;

Modesty is bliss concealing,
Impudence is want of feeling.

Her winning accents, like the Theban boy,

Withheld perdition from the ways of men ;
Uprais'd the sumptuous mart and gave a race to-joy:

They wrap'd the brindled Tygress in her den,
As her bald, gasping, fascinated young,
Dropt from the clammy nipple where they'd gorg'd and hung !
To her adheres the tributary main;

The tawny Heathens of the western woods,
Who fkirt Obio's banks and Niagara's floods,
At her superior behest engage,

Or loose the shuddering victim of their rage;
Inter the calamet with shouts and cease t'insult the Nain!

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Bellona's paralysing blast,
Which stunn'd creation with its direful note,
Diseasing every organ that it smote,

Is perish'd and is past :
The jocund swains resume their Toric reed,
Mid Beauty's odgurs on the garish mead,
With generous emanation glow,
And abrogate the memory of woe !
Who shall bedim her manumitting course ?
Thrice happy land, fuperlatively bleit,

The seat of irresistlefs Mirth :
Though youngest daughter of the earth,
Who, lalt enfranchis'd, art the best ;

Bland as the origin of light,

She unadulterate, met the social fight :
Energing, blazoning in a golden hour,

While more antique divisions of the earth,

Dismantled by the retinue of Dearth,
Werc fell'd beneath a surreptitious power:

Time never wrap'd her in a gothic web ;

The tide of her ideas knew no ebb :
To Nature's simple institutes resign’d,

She met the duty that another sought,

From all the hallow'd decalogue has taught,
And mark'd it on the tablet of her mind;

Towards grave Philology her younglings grew,
By briefer means than proud Europa knew :
Emaciate Sloth and her Lethean train,
Elude the redolent domain :
Her finewy fons exacted what they will'd,
The loom gave raiment, and the glebe was till’d :
Nectarious clasters mellow'd in the blaze,

They rov'd unconscious of Pollution's toys;

Their Sabbath came, the period of their joys :
And labour dulcified their sylvan days :

They scoop'd the bark to furrow trackless seas;
They hew'd an alley for the vagrant breeze :
Their active morals foften'd Fancy's dream:
They cut meanders for the gushing stream :
They thinn’d the matted forest, on whose boughs,
The familh'd vulture, and the falcon scowl'à,

And the hoarse raven murmur'd Hecate's vows;
Unhous'd the worm who flavers to defile,

Rear'd golden heaves where lușching panthers prowlid,
And made the ruffet heath and plashy lowland (mile !
Her growing being knew no feudal spell ;

The feeds of Reason on her glebe were sown;
The legend of the Monk was never known;

Her ear was unannoy'd by Superstition's bell.
'Tis thine to guard her from the tooth of Shame;
"Tis thine to consecrate her civic fame ;
Be just in principle--in action kind,
Let not Opinion moulder Wisdom's base,

Or BestiAL IGNORANCE, so dire, so free,
Deform the statutes of Urbanity,

Or llur the placid lincaments of Grace !

Away with Vanity's delusive theme,
The Bigot's dogma, and the Sophift's dream ;

With partial good Humanity Mould rest,
'Tis not in Nature to be wholly bleft-
Say, mall COLUMBIA be despoil'd by knaves ?
Say, shall her manly progeny be flaves ?
Hence, ye Profane, to less abundant climes,
She hall not be polluted with your crimes;
Those ills the Parthian and the Goth have done,
Perturbed Gallia now become your own;
O'er proftrate empires thy all-fhivering deeds,

Like Demolition's ruthless lightning, ran;
Lo, the pale Vestal at her altar bleeds,
You've poison'd all the philofophic fprings,

Made recreant Dread apologize for Kings,
And stain'd the noblest cause that ever influenc'd man!
Thy brittle laws, like phantoms of the brain,

Are scarce coeval with the flash of thought ;
They rise, like Gorgons, reproducing pain,

Yet ere we ascertain they are they're nought! The Talmud and the Sybil's auguring page,

The hymn of Israel—the Apostle's lore, Commix in fading embers on thy shore, The sad memorial of an impious rage! Tremendous nation, from thy clotted fanes,

Unholy incense to the breeze is given ;
Meek angels flit o'er Clemency's remains;

Thy gorgeous villanies have anger'd heav'n!
Where shall the wretched reft, when God's denied ?
Where is the recompense of moral pride ?
Say, is it wise to reimbitter life,

Tabsorb the sentiment in Misery's gloom !
They've wounded Faith who smooth'd the fang of Strife,

They've murder'd Hope who lur'd us to the tomb !
Who can behold the pregnant seasons roll;

The undulation of the fecund tide :
The Tempeft lashing Hecla's rugged Gide ;
The planetary atoms fall and rise,
And all the varied wonders of the skies,

Then ask if there's a Soul?
"Twas not the energy of hosts like these,
Subdued the fierce Arsacides ;
Who made the vile luxuriant Afian feel,
The weight of Valor's arm--the probing of his feel ;
Who cleft the brawny Scythian's maffy creft :
Who made the votive Carthagenian yield;

Who gor'd the stern Numidian's ample breast,
And won the trembling globe at Zama's blood-walh'd field! (mould,

But men like you (pointing to the Volunteers) all warm from Manhood's Erect and hardy, agile, true and bold :

To every thing, in Friendship's guise, a friend,
Prompt to forgive, but eager to defend !
Should stricken Liberty her aims impart,

Her gallant legions wou indignant hear,
Repel the insidious elements of Fear,


And cvery nerve draw vigour from the heart :
Who, for th' ignoble privilege to breathe,

Would give his race to penalties and pains ?
Who, to exist, would bear the yoke and writhe?

'Twere better not to be, than be--in chains !
Imperial Liberty on mountains bred,

By Jove illumin'd, and by fages fed :
For thee, immortal maid, for thee we live ;

Thou art the firm Palladium of cur State,

The most illustrious donative of Fate, Who giving thee, has little else to give!

Oh, freight us with thy calm desire ;

Exalt our fpirits with celestial fire ; Oft have I seen thee buxom and sublime,

Bathing thy sandals in Aurora's dew :
Or scudding, vigilant, with palfied Time,

To gather all he knew :
Till the soft sighs of myriads touch'd thy ear,
Then hast thou hurried o'er the stormy deep,

To extirpate Despair ,
Slew the Leviathan of regal power ;
Dispell’d the dark’ning Demon of the 'hour,
And bade the forrows of a region fleep!
Less bounded thy dominion's known,

Than Circe's clew of grief :
Or Neptbe's necromantic zone :

Or Cyprus' maddening chief : The folace of the universe is thine;

You ope the calices in Flora's vales.

You feed the odour of the spicy gales, And amplify the burthen of the mine

Transcendant nymph, ineffably you seem,

More pure than Dian in the virgin stream ! She yields her document with Spartan pride,

Yet as the heaven-caught bounty flows,

The liberal bosom feels, and feeling glows,
And he has liv'd too long, who lives to be denied !

Give us, to fhun the points of wrong,

Alcides' strength, and Virtue's song ;
Be Charity's behest our own ;

Exceffive Freedom has herself o'erthrown,
In the vast latitude of active right,

Let Retrospedion harmonize our might ;
Admit th' egregious to their sąvage will,

The progress of their fupplicated joy,

Would but the more diffusively destroy,
And every cause would be a sovereign ill!

Ah! what is man, that he should thus forega
The harmony of Peace, for variegated Woc?
But, in the mental fury tost,
The voice of Science and of Sense is loft ;
Abhorrent PARTY, rankling, foul and thin,
Cimmerian monster--delegate of Sin ;
Inflaming aught, that Loveliness diftreffes :

Noxious as Medufæan tresses ;
She belches forth her pestilential curse ;

Envenoms that she would despise,
To render what is pitiable, worse :


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