miffed the employment I now hold. Very well, faid the Chief Juftice, then I have thought of a method to fet all this matter righ do you cause the most valuable of your ef fects to be brought into your inner apartment, and, as foon as they are fafe, let the outward part of your palace be fet on fire the Governor, as it is his duty, will be forced to come to your affiftance; as foon as he appears, deliver hin the cabinet in which the feal was placed; if it was he who caufed it to be ftolen, he will be glad to reftore it, and at all events the blame will lie at his door, not yours. The Intendant inftantly purfued his friend's fcheme; the fire drew the Governor thither, as they expected; the cabinet was delivered to him in a feeming fright; and the next day, when the danger was over, the Intendant fending for it again, found the feal replaced; for the Governor, finding himself oyer-reached, wifely compounded, by thus returning the feal, for the fraud he had committed in procuring it. Thus the calmness of the Chief Juftice proved a remedy, where a man of fuperior parts, but without equanimity, would have refigned every hope, and abandoned himfelf to defpair.

EMPEROR GALLIENUS. IT feems there were in his days, as well as the prefent, traders who valued money more than probity, and thought large gains might atone for the moft iniquitous fraud. A man of this ftamp, who dealt in jewels, found means to be introduced to the Emprefs, and fold her a set of stones, rich in fhew, but of little value; being in reality no better than coloured glafs. This fraud, though concerted with imaginable addrefs, was by fome means difcoyered, and the merchant of fic

titious gems dragged to the public tribunal.

The Emperor, after hearing the charge, and examining the proofs, adjudged him to be expofed to a lion; and the people, ever greedy of blood, ran in crouds to behold the execution. When he came into the area of the den of lions, he was placed in the centre by himfelf. The guards withdrew, the people gazed, and the trembling wretch, overwhelmed with horror, flood expecting his fate. On a fudden a door opened, and out came a cock, which after two or three ftrides, fell to crowing and clapping his wings; immediately followed a cryer, who made open proclamation in the fol. lowing terms: "Behold, O Romans, the juftice of your Emperor ! This man, who made no confcience of deceiving in his trade, is now de ceived himfelf."

TWO Sachems of the western Indians, in making a tour to Phila delphia, dined at the houfe of a gentleman of fortune, amidit a fplendid circle; and obferving muftard upon the table, one of them, without fufpecting the confequence, took a poonful at once into his mouth, which foon caufed the tears to run plentifully down his rugged countenance; but collecting himself in a moment, and perhaps no lefs defirous to conceal his ignorance than to fee his companion caught in the fame manner, when afked by his brother Sachem the caufe of his crying, replied without hefitation, that it was caufed by reflecting upon the goodnefs of his father, who was flain in battle. This anfwer appeared fatisfactory to the inquifitive Chief, while the reft of the company, out of tendernefs to thefe unrefined fons of na ture, could only, with the utmoft exertions, reftrain themfelves from

open

open laughter. From this moment, the one who had learned by experience the qualities of muftard, kept his eye conftantly on his tawny broth er of the wildernefs, until at length he enjoyed the fuperlative pleasure of beholding him take a fpoonful into his mouth in the fame manner he had just done himself, and which was productive of the fame effect. The former now in his turn requested of his ftern companion the reafon of his fhedding tears, and was anfwered, with Indian readiness and wit, "Besaufe you were not killed when father was."

LETTER FROM PAT. OWEN's AUNT IN IRELAND, TO HIM, IN AMERICA.

Dear Nephew,

I HAVE not written to you fince. my laft before now, because as we had moved from our former place of living, and I did not know where a letter would find you; but I now with pleasure take my pen to inform you of the melancholy news of the very fudden death of your only living uncle Kilpatrick, who died very, fuddenly laft week after a lingering illnefs of five months. The poor man was in violent convulfions the whole time of his ficknefs, laying perfectly quiet and fpeechlefs, all the while talking incoherently, and calling for water, I had no opportunity of informing you of his death fooner, except I had wrote you by last poft, which went off two days before he died, and then you would have poltage to pay. I am at a lofs to tell what his death was occafioned by; but I fear it was brought on by his laft ficknefs; for he e was nev well ten days together, during the whole time of his confinement; and I believe his fickness was occafioned by his eating too much of rabbits, or peafe and gravy ftuffed with rabbits,

never

property was fomething very con fiderable; for he had a fine estate, which was fold to pay his debts, and the remainder he loft on a horse-race; but it was the opinion of every body at the time, that he would have won the race, if the horse he run against had not been too fast for him. I never faw a man, and the doctors all faid fo, that obferved directions and took medicine better than he did. He faid he had as lief drink gruel as wine, if it only had the fame tafte, and would as foon take jalup as eat beef-fteak, if it had the fame relifh: But, poor foul! he will never eat or drink more. And now you have not a fingle living relation in the world, except myfelf and your two coufins, who were killed in the last war. I can't dwell on this mournful fubject, and fhall, feal, my letter with black fealing-wax, and put on it your uncle's coat of arms: So I beg you not to break the feal when you open the letter; and don't open it till three or four days after you receive it, by which time you will be prepared for the forrowful tidings. When you come to this place, ftop, and do not read any more till my next." Your affectionate Aunt,

16 PEG. OWEN. P. S. Don't write me again till you receive this. A POOR

A POOR widow, fome days fince attending Exeter market for the purchafe of a bufhel of wheat, by her tale of diftrefs fo far operated on the feelings of a farmer from Credeton Parish, that he agreed to fell her the article in question at a filling below the current price, provided that the went for it to his houfe on the following day. The poor woman readily affented, and went accordingly; but the other, in the interim, repented his promife, and refused to part with his corn under the market price. She had not money fufficient for the purchafe, and was returning to her hungry infants, weary, difappointed, and in tears, when fhe was met by a recruiting ferjeant of the neighbourhood. He heard her tale, and promifing to advance the fhilling, eafily perfuaded her to go back. The farmer, on meeting his price, delivered the wheat, but on pocketing the cash, the ferjeant declared,

that the fhilling he had given was the King's money, and that the other, by receiving it, was virtually enlifted. However weak the pretence, the farmer, to get releafed from s embarrafiment, gladly paid the fmartmoney, and let the widow have the corn at her own price.

AN upftart lady, in one of our midland countries, in converfation lately before a large company, faid, "The thought there were but three claffes of people, viz. the gentry, the middling kind of people, the fervants and vulgar : in fhort," fays fhe, "China, Delf and Crockery." A fervant, who was waiting in the room at the time, upon being ordered by the above lady to call down the nurfe and the child, went to the bottom of the ftairs, and, loud enough to be heard by the company, called out, "Crockery, bring down little China."

t' appear ?

Why dropt her pen, as fell the damfel's tear? Why not through Cornhill glance her eagle eyes,

To catch the newest fafbions as they rife? Long has the look'd, but look'd as long in vain;

Twice feen the moon to full, and twice to wane;

Twice feen this rambler through th' eclip

tic range, Still conftant to her nature's law, to change; And strange to tell, has feen the fickle fair, In nature's fpite, continue as they were, Since expectation tiptoe stood to hail The waving pendant, and the spreading fail,

Bid the Minerva welcome to our view, And take from Madam Doll the fashion's

cue.

No. III.

Sweet paffenger, what fad extremes of

fate

E'en humble wax, in human form, await! What throngs of belles and milliners deplore

Thy long, long abfence from our deftin'd shore,

And curfe thy capture by that ruffian band,

That's fpread a dearth of fashions o'er the land.

When starve the bees in innovation's hive, Caprice may languish, while a nation thrive. Though fatire's arrows in the quiver fleep, The Muse of satire has no cause to weep: She leaft of all can folly's reign endure, Nor probes a wound, but where the means

to cure.

To order, tafte, and virtue; ever true, Thofe old tried friends the fears to change for new. While

While there are men by innovation live, Dreads, most of all, "fuch change as they would give."..

The Mufe no longer can her filence keep,
Since dinners lull our CENTINELS to fleep.
Say, who beholds not, with indignant hate,
The fpreading rage for novelty in ftate?
See brooding faction's bufy craftimen ftop
At each retailing politician's fhop / 1
(For politicians, well as truant boys,
New playthings pleafe; but moft election
toys,)

Declare how wisdom has from Adanis fled, And plac'd her cap on Pinckney's pliant head;

Teach how to make the fervile tools, of tools;

Turn last year's Solomons to future fools; Place virtue's garland on ambition's brow, And make thofe traitors, who are patriots

now..

Such the vile plottings, venerable Sage, That damn to all pofterity this age; An age, which yet thy hardy virtues fhame,

The fleady landmarks on the road to fame, To whofe fair temple thou haft walk'd ere&

This all the crime, for which it can re: jec

The darling object of its former choice, Or turn from praife, to calumny its voice. This, too, was thy compatriot Franklin's crime,

Whofe name shall yet furvive the wreck of time,

Though Vandal rage on fame and science frown,

And tear Columbia's garlands from her *..

crown.

Hereafter who will ever dare be great,
Or plant their laurels in a poison'd state?

tread,

The fhafts of ambufhed fate are spread:
What wary prudence can defy,
Or from Misfortune's arrow fly?

The fondeft dreams of wealth and power
Arife, and perish, in an hour;
The pirate plunders on the deep;
The bolts of Jove regardless fleep.

The fudden flame with horrid glare Strikes trembling crouds with dumb, defpair;

Devouring billows wrap the dome,
Of nuptial joy's delighted home.
The helplefs widow fees her all
In the refiftlefs torrent fall:

And from her weeping orphans torn,
Through bufy tumult flies forlorn.

Sweet Charity! celeftial maid,
Thou nurfe of worth, with balmy aid,
Come to relieve the good diftreft,
And in another's joy be bleft.

From lofty affluence' dull display The modeft fufferer turns away, Thy dewy eye and melting heart Alone can foothe affection's fmart.

The foul is worthy fortune's fmiles.
That merit of a grief beguiles,
With look benign difpels the figh,.
And mantling tear of forrow's eye.

Misfortune's various forms combine
To make the milder virtues fhine,
The lovely Charity to show,
Whofe foft hand draws the fting of wo.

Man, granny Nature made to brave
The ftornis of life's rough feafon;
Then why should man 'gainft nature fhave
His chin and head of reason ?

If female fmoothness footh'd me most,
I'm fure I'd never feel ye;
But female fmoothness cannot boast
A charm for lovely

DELIA.

DEAR Poets, why fo full of pain, Why fo much grief for Doctor BEN? Love for your tribe I never had, Nor wrote three ftanzas, good or bad. At funerals, fometimes, grief appears. Where legacies have purchas'd tears: "Tis nonfenfe to be fad for nought; From me you never gain'd a groat. To better trades I turn'd my views, And never meddled with the mufe; Great things I did for rising States, And kept the lightning from fome pates. This grand difcovery, you adore it, But ne'er will be the better for it : You ftill are fubject to those fires, For poets' houfes have no spires. Philofophers are fam'd for pride; But, pray, be modeft when I died

No" fighs difturb'd old ocean's bed,"
No "Nature wept" for Franklin dead!
That day, on which I left the coaft,
A beggar-man was also loft:
If "Nature wept," you must agree
She wept for him—as well as me.
There's reafon even in telling lies→→→→
In fuch profufion of her "fighs"
She was too sparing of a tear-
In Carolina all was clear:

And if there fell fome fnow and fleet,
Why must it be my winding sheet?
Snows long have cloth'd the wintry plain,
Have melted, and will melt again.

Poets, I pray you, go to school
Dame Nature is not quite a fool;
When to the dust great men fhe brings,
Make her do fome uncommon things.

THE DISH

IET fome in grog place their delight,
O'er bottled porter wafte the night,
Or fip the rofy wine:

A difh of TEA more pleases me,
Yields fofter joys, provokes less noise,
And breeds no base design.

From China's groves, this present brought,
Enlivens every power of thought,
Rigs many a fhip for fea :

Old maids it warms, young widows charms;
And ladies' men, not one in ten

But courts them for their TEA.
When throbbing pains affail my head,
And dullness o'er my brain is fpread,
(The mufe no longer kind)
A fingle fip difpels the hyp:
To chace the gloom fresh fpirits come,
The flood-tide of the mind.

OF TEA.

When worn with toil, or vext with care, Let Sufan but this draught prepare,

And I forget my pain.

This magic bowl revives the foul;
With gentleft fway bids care be gay;

Nor mounts, to cloud the brain.

If learned men the truth would fpeak,
They prize it far beyond their GREEK,

More fond attention pay;

No HEBREW root fo well can fuit;
More quickly taught, lefs dearly bought,
And ftudied twice a day.

This leaf, from diftant regions fprung,
Puts life into the female tongue,

And aids the cause of love.
Such power has TEA O'er bond and free;
Which priests admire, delights the 'Squire,
And Galen's fons approve.