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“ed, and strove in every possi- " demanded sleep, the fear of “ ble way to prepare myself to « awaking in a miserable eterni
go to God, that I might be ty prevented the closing of « saved from his wrath. The “ my eyes, and nothing gave more I strove in this selfish
No voice of mirth, way the more anxious I was, or sound whatever was heard, 6 and no hope was given. Soon “ but what reminded me of the “I began to murmur and re “ awful day when God shall
pine, and accused God of the “ bring every work into judggreatest injustice, in requiring “ment. All self-righteousness
me to turn to him, and while “ failed me, and having no confi“I was striving with all my “ dence in God, I was left in deep “ might, as I supposed, he ap “ despondency. After a while “ peared not to regard me. I a surprising tremor seized all “ considered God as obligated to “my limbs, and death appeared
save me because I had done to have taken hold upon me.
so much for him, and finding Eternity, the word eternity, “ no relief, I wished that he “ sounded louder than any hu
might not be, and began real man voice I ever heard, and “ ly to doubt the truths of his every moment of time appear“ holy word, and to disbelieve “ ed infinitely more valuable “ his existence, for if there were « than all the wealth of the “ a God I perfectly hated him. 5 world. Not long after this an " I searched the scriptures dai u unusual calmness pervaded “ ly, hoping to find inconsisten my soul, which I thought little
cies in them, to condemn the “ of at first, except that I was “ Bible because it was against “ freed from my awful convicme;
and while I was diligent « tions, and this sometimes griev“ ly pursuing my purpose, every “ed me, fearing I had lost all “ thing I read, and every ser conviction. Soon after hear
mon I heard, condemned me. ing the feelings of a Christian 6 Christian conversation gave “ described, I took courage, and
me the most painful sensa “thought I knew by experience 6 tions. I tried to repent, but “ what they were.
The char“ I could not feel the least sor “acter of God, and the doc
row for my innumerable sins. 6 trines of the Bible, which I “ By endeavoring to repent, I saw " could not meditate, upon bemy heart still remained
im “ fore, without hatred, especial" penitent. Altho' I knew that “ ly, those of election and free “ I hated every thing serious, grace, now appear delightful,
yet I determined to habituate and the only mean by which, myself to the duties which “through grace, dead sinners “ God required; to see if I could can be made the living sons of 6 not by that means be made to “ God. My heart feels it sin“ love him, and I continued in “ fulness. To confess my sins “ this state some months. The to God gives me that peace, “ fear of having committed the 6 which before I knew nothing “ unpardonable sin, now began “of.—To sorrow for it, affords 6 to arise in my mind, and I “ that joy which my tongue can« could find no rest day nor not express. Were I sensi44 night. When my weary limbs 6 ble that at death my hope
« would perish, yet it seemeth man shall see the Lord we “.to me now that I could not “ must be born again.” It im“ willingly quit the service of “ mediately occured to my mind “ God, nor the company of that I was one of that descrip“ Christians; but my unfaith“ fulness often makes me fear “ I had made a profession of
my sincerity, and should I at “ religion but was conscious I “ last be raised to glory, all the “ had never felt it. This lay
praise will be to God for the" with great weight upon my « exhibition of his sovereign mind. As I was walking a " grace."
“ few evenings after this anxiety Another person, nearly forty“ began, the first thing I recolyears of age, at a private lec- “ lect, after I left the house, ture, attended April 22d, 1801, “ where I had been, I was standwas so wrought upon by the “ ing still, more than half a mile word being set home upon his " distant from the place I had heart, that he instantly became "left, reasoning with myself, in so overcome with a sense of his “ this manner, What, must danger, that he was scarcely able “ man be born again? Is this a to stand, and looked, as he saith, “ work of the Holy Spirit ? Is “ Round about for something to “ God sovereign having mercy
stay myself with. Fearing on whom he will have mercy y? “ lest some one should ask, what “ Are not these doctrines in the « aileth thee? I endeavored to “ bible? Yes I know they are “ bear up under the pressure, as
“ for I have often read them. 66 much as possible, and so con- “ Why then should we not hear “cealed the matter. This, how-“ them, for all that God hath
ever, put me upon enquiring “ taught is good and nothing to “ what I should do to be saved, “ be refused ? Surely we ought. 6 for previously I had little or « Oh, what shall I do! I will
no anxiety about my future“ not open my mouth against « state. Soon after this I set up “ them. Thus I was weary and “ family prayer, which I had “ heavy laden, and continued un
never attempted before. In “ til Thanksgiving day, when I “ the beginning it was hard, but “ began more sensibly to fear “ I felt it my duty and was una- “ that I should be of all men the “ble to rest without it. Having “ most miserable. In the eve
many serious thoughts, and“ ning I went again to one of my “ loving, as I imagined, the ser- neighbors in order to divert “ vice of God, I went forward“ my awakened mind, but in “ and made a public profession“ vain. The chearly conversa“ of religion, and believed all of my neighbor increased mý
was well until the 22d of No- sorrow. I wondered how “ vember following, when upon any could laugh or smile. “ the Lord's day it was observed “ When I returned and attempt. “ in the sermon, that persons " ed to commend my house in “ might be strict in all the out- prayer to God, I was more dis6 ward forms and duties of reli- “ tressed than ever, for I began “gion and still be in the gall of “ to feel my spiritual blindness, “ bitterness and bonds of iniqui- especially in prayer, for my " ty, “ For without holiness no “ form was gone, and I could
“ not recall it. I experienced forded relief, and afterwards fill
same again the next ed that soul with peculiar joy “ morning. When I took my The other was an instance of “ Bible in my hands, I had such great temptation in secret pray
a tremor that I could not read er; while thus distressed with “ and could scarcely speak, so temptations. 66 It came into " that I went out, ashamed and
mind says he that I “ confounded. I endeavored to “ needed divine assistance, im
pursue my secular business, mediately, my whole heart and “ but it was with great indiffer “ soul appeared to ascend to
ence, for my soul was full of “ Heaven with this fervent pe“ anguish till by sovereign grace “ tition, That God would con“ it was brought home to God. “ descend to meet me in the “ About the middle of the day “ closet and graciously assist me
on Friday after, I had such « in conquering the tempter, “ manifestations of God's love, “ that I might no more be led “ and such admiring thoughts of " captive by him at his will. I “ his holy character, and of all “ do not remember all the words “ the precepts of the gospel“ I used, but I began my peti« which my soul so much de 66 tion thus, Holy, holy, holy “ tested before, that I could no “ Lord God Almighty.
longer hold my peace. , I im-“ swer I received was not by an “ mediately left all, repaired to “ audible voice, but the fact that “ my dwelling and called upon 66 God had heard and would “ my dear companion to help grant my request, was as evi
me praise the Lord. Praise « dent as if it had been by a voice. “ the Lord, Oh, sing praises to “ This was a precious season,
our God, was the incessant 66 and I felt astonished at my “ language of my soul thro' the stupidity, that I had never be“ day. Now I wanted all around “ fore tho't of looking to God for
me to taste the loving kind 6 assistance. When it was morn
ness of our God and to bless “ing I took my Bible and re« his holy name.
Since that 6 tired to my closet, and began 66 time I have had a variety of “my devotions, asking God to
feelings and hours of darkness, “ meet with me-and such sen“ but I cannot give up my hope c sible and sweet communion 6 in Christ."
“ with God I never thought of There are two other persons “ enjoying before. I proceeded of different ages, one is in early “renewedly to enterinto covenant life, who have been remarkably “ with my maker, which as it tempted and buffeted of Satan, appears to me I did with all as they fully believed. One of my heart, dedicating myself to them seemed to be forced, as it “his service, both soul and body, were, by an irresistible power “ for time and eternity. I could · to take life, so that a number of “ now truly say, Lord, it is good days the person feared to take a “for me to be here. One hour knife in his hand, or any other spent in thy service is better sharp tool, for it seemed as tho' « than ten thousand spent elseit must necessarily be put to the
66 where. throat, even without its being de “ The night following after sired; but God in due time af “resting awhile, I awoke and
“ felt as if I was actually encircled been no instance of any one pro“ in the arms of my dear Re- fessing Godliness, that has turn« deemer. No tongue can de- ed back, or dishonored his pro« scribe the bliss I felt. I con- fession. The tares we know 66 ceived it to be what Peter ex- will grow among the wheat, but presseth in this
we have not yet discovered them. « Whom having not seen ye love Since the date of the last letter, “ in whom tho' now ye see him five have been duly examined
not, yet believing ye rejoice with and propounded for admission joy unspeakable and full of glory. unto the Church ; which, to
Again, these words made a gether with several more, who “ deep impression upon my have probably as good a hope as “ mind, They that know thy any we have named, but partiwill put their trust in cular circumstances have kept
them out of the Church, will “For eight or ten days, suc
make the number of hopeful 6 cessively, I had an hour or two converts, in the late awakening, “ each morning, before light, of to surpass 100; and we hope
enjoying the sweetest com- the glorious work has not yet “ munion with my Saviour, that ended, for there have been two 6 it is possible for finite crea- or three instances of awakenings “ tures to enjoy, in this imper- since the communication of our « fect state.
The spirit did not last; but God only knoweth " leave ine until it had, seem- what is in the womb of futurity;
ingly, led my mind to a com- and to us it belongeth to bow “prehensive view of the whole with reverence before him, giv6 character of God, and of all ing thanks at the remembrance “his precepts. Lastly, I had a of his holiness. “ most realising view of the odi- JOSIAH B. ANDREWS.
ous nature of sin, and the won“ derful patience of God, in bear
Killingworth, May ?
23, 1804. “ ing so long with impenitent “ sinners. · From that time my
greatest anxiety has been to cease from sin, and no temp
The CONSTITUTION of the New“ tation has overtaken me but
Hampshire Missionary Society,
with an address to all Chris. 6 such as is common to men."
tian fieople. The persons referred to in this narrative, have all of them been To all who wish well to the hopefully in the school of Christ
cause of Zion. more than three years, and some
CHRISTIAN BRETHREN, of them much longer; which must have been some trial of TISHING you prosperity their faith, and afford a com
and peace, through the fortable hope that the things knowledge of our Lord and Sawhich they have experienced, viour Jesus Christ; we beg liare not the result of a heated berty to inform you, that, from imagination, nor the wild effu- a consideration of the deplorasions of a disordered brain, but ble condition of inillions of our the genuine effects of God's fellow-men, who are perishing holy spirit. There has, as yet, through lack of knowledge of
the way of salvation by Chrisť ; | the transactions of the Society, from a sense of our solemn and and to perform all the usual duvoluntary obligations to promote ties of said office. the interest of the Redeemer's V. The duty of the Treasukingdom, in all possible, proper rer shall be, to receive, and be ways; and from the pious ex-accountable for, all the property ample of many of our Christian of the Society, in whatever way brethren, both in Europe and it may arise ; to answer the orAmerican : WE, a number of ders of the Trustees; and to exministers and servants of Christ, hibit a fair account of all his convened in Hopkinton, on Wed- proceedings to the Society, annesday, September 20, 1801, for nually, and oftener to the Trusthe purpose of consulting upon tees, if required. the most suitable means for pro VI. The duty of the Trustees moting a cause so important and shall be, to examine candidates desirable, have considered it an for Missions ; to employ and indispensible duty to form into a direct Missionaries; urnish Societr, in order to unite our them with proper credentials ; exertions for spreading abroad recall, or dismiss them, if nethe glad tidings of salvation a cessary; and, in a word, to sumong the Heathen, and others, perintend the affairs of the Soin our frontier and infant settle- ciety, between their annual meetments, who are destitute of the ings, when, it will be expected, precious privileges which we en- that they make report of their joy.
proceedings, and also of the serTo inform you of the motive vices and success of their Misand design of our Society, we sionaries. take the liberty to lay before VII. That the Society may you its CONSTITUTION, which is reap the benefit of the united as follows:
exertions of their Board of Art. I. The Society shall be Trustees, it will be expected of known by the name of the New- the latter that they hold, statedHampshire Missionary Society; ly, semi-annual meetings; and the sole object of which, is, the that they meet oftener, if necespropagation of the gospel among sary. those who are destitute of its VIII. The Society shall meet, precious privileges.
annually, on the Tuesday preII. The Officers of the Soci- ceding the General Election of ety shall consist of a President, the State, at ten o'clock, A. M. at Secretary, a Treasurer, and six the place appointed for the Gen'Trustees, to be chosen annually, eral Election, unless, for special
reasons, they shall agree at one III. The duty of the Presi- meeting to have their next holdent shall be, to regulate the den at a different time and place; meetings of the Society ; to act, on which day of their meeting, ex officio, as one of the Trustees a Sermon shall be delivered at and their Moderator, any four four o'clock, P. M.And at each of whom shall constitute a quo- meeting, the preacher, a first
and second, shall be chosen for IV. The duty of the Secreta- the next. ry shall be, to keep records of IX. All questions before the