Remarkable Advertisements.
N Tuesday the celebrated Mr.
fair between Mr. Hughes and Mr. Aftley was amicably decided: the impartial public are hereby refpectfully acquainted, that Mr. Sampfon will exhibit "with Mrs. Sampfon." (Important intelligence indeed.) Mr. and Mrs. Hughes, Sobiefka Clementina, and a young Lady eight years old, which LADIES all ride upright on the Saddles (on their heads Gazetteer. perhaps) full fpeed.
BATCHELOR of very refpectable family, character, and genteel rank in life, (but whofe lot it is has been for fome years past to refide in a part of the country, where no opportunities offered of making any friendfhips or connections with Ladies of any tolerable fashion) is defirous of altering his condition, but for the reafon above affigned, is under the neceffity of adopting this public mode of addrefs for a companion for life: and though unfavourable as it must appear in the general eye of the more refined, prudent, and fenfible part of his fair readers, (whose attention he is the most ambitious to merit) is, neverthelefs, grounded on the bafis of the most strict honour, probity, and integrity, as will be found on treaty, as fuch, he hopes, it may prove the happy means of bringing him acquainted with fome agreeable maiden or widow lady, equally difpofed to a change of condition, and whofe good understanding leads her to fearch for happiness within the circle of domeftic enjoyment. The advertiser has not the vanity to expect, therefore prefumes not to feek for, either youth, beauty, or extraordinary accomplishments: a lady of good repute, and, of a middle age, poffeffing a tolerable genteel perfon, and endowed with affability and good nature, will be to him the moft eligible and pleafing; nor are his views, with refpect to fortune, directed beyond the bounds of reafon, his ambition (if it is not a crime) prompts him indeed to with for fuch an addition to his own, as might enable him, for the reciprocal advantage of both, to fupport a genteel appearance in the world, with
prudence and oeconomy. To enter into
further particulars, on a fubject of fo
much delicacy, would be here highly im-
proper; they muft therefore be defer-
red till a more favourable opportunity
makes it neceffary. Let it for the pre-
fent fuffice, that the author is, in the
ftricteft fenfe of the word, the gentle-
man and the man of honour; one who
nerous and benevolent heart and mind,
flatters himself poffeffes a truly open, ge-
accompanied with those other qualities,
that feldom or ever fail to constitute a
good husband.
Should any lady under the above de-
fcription deem this worthy of attention,
and will honour the advertifer with
a letter directed for Mr. B-------1, to be
left at Mr. Ea--'s, Charles-ftreet, Solo,
mentioning as many particulars relative
to herself, as fhe hall judge confiftent
with difcretion, an answer will be then
given as fhall convince her, that this
addrefs is moft feriously and honourably
meant; and letters which bear not the
ftamp of equal fincerity and earnestnefs,
will be difregarded.
A SECRET TO BE SOLD.
Gentleman, of an unexceptionable
A an
ble fecret for Agues, which has been
TRIED on numbers of perfons in this
metropolis. Any perfon moved for the
welfare of his fellow creatures, will re-
ceive fatisfactory proofs of its efficacy.
Please to direct for A, O. &c.
To the LADIES.
A Young Gentleman, of a liberal
profeflion, fituated in an agreea ble part of the town, having no family but fervants, would gladly accommodate with board and lodging a single lady; vided the advertiser meets with a lady the terms will be no confideration, prowhofe difpofiton promifes an addition to his domeftic felicity.
A line for A. B. C. at Old Slaughter's coffee-houfe, St. Martin's-lane; mentioning fome neceffary particulars, will meet with refpectful attention.
The DUCKS and TORTOISE.
A Tortoife tir'd fo long to feel
Confinement in her clofe baftile, And grovel in a narrow track With fuch a burden on her back, Refoly'd to make a fhort excurfion Both for inftruction and diverfion, And go, like modern youths, in queft Of fashions, vice, virtu, and taste : But ere that the commenc'd her labours,
And on a pointed marble fhattering
Found the fatality of chattering.
Her death is then our admonition
To fuit our acts to our condition :
Nor our own element to quit
On foreign rocks unwail'd to split.
The BEE and the BUTTERFLY.
Confulted with two Ducks, her neigh-All rely on nonfenfe, like a beau,
Comrade, faid they, this trav'ling spirit Proves you have courage, fenfe, and merit,
To fee the world---'tis noble pride,
And fhall be amply gratify'd":
And in a jaunt of any distance
We can afford you great affiftance;
Nay thro' the air we will convey
You fwiftly to America:
So long a journey will prefent ye
Kingdoms and commonwealths in plenty,
And you may make remarks and com-
On men and manners ev'ry moment,
Is it a bargain? Come be quick---
Your trav'ling equipage this flick
Which in the middle you must bite,
And firmly let your teeth unite,
While we hold fast to either fide,---
Then neck or nothing, up you ride.---
Done---the scheme's feafible enough,
'Fore George I'll put it to the proof.---
Mum for your life, fpeak not a word.--
No, no d'ye think me fo abfurd---
Stick faft.-Aye that I will, as glue.
To ftick,--Ducks, Tortoife, up they
Long had they not cut through the air
With their excentric traveller,
When by a flight of crows there came,---
Halloo, faid they, what's here, 'God's
Sublime in felf-important ftate,
On a pink's velvet foliage fate;
Near where a Bee induftrious flew
And fip'd the morning's honied dew;
When the Moth with jeering taunt,
Began his own exploits to vaunt;
Said he, no language can unravel
Th' extent of all my various travel.
I've pass'd the Alps, and view'd with
Whatever was or rich or rare.
Paintings moft exquifitely fine,
And fculptures of the beft defign.
For claffic ground I've left my home,
And view'd the Vatican at Rome:
Nay, kifs'd his Holiness's foot,
And feen the Cardinals to boot.
Nay more; I've known much more than
thefe,
The columns raised by Hercules.
Say, little trifler, when did you
With fuch delights enchant your view?
Befides 'twas mine at cafe to ftray
O'er all the gardens in my way,
On pinks and roses to regale,
Or humble violets in the vale:
To revel on their downy bloom,
And fnatch their delicate perfume.
Weak infect can you cope with me ?---
I know the world you must agree.
The Bee whofe thoughts were itill intent
To chufe the flow'rs of choiceft fcent,
Thus from a bed of thyme replied:
Vain coxcomb puff'd with empty pride.
You know the world? Say to what
ends
This knowledge of the world ascends ?
The flow'rs you say regal'd your sense.---
Have you collected ought from thence?
I too have travell'd---nay have flown,
Perhaps as far as you have gone.--
Let others toil in war, in arts, or trade, Be gay: too foon the flow'rs of Spring will fade.
Late gloomy winter chill'd the fullen
air,
Till Soliman arofe, and all was fair.
Soft in his reign the notes of love re-
found,
And pleafure's rofy cup goes freely
Here on the bank, which mantling vines o'er-fhade,
Be gay: too foon the flow'rs of Spring will fade.
May this rude lay from age to age re-
main,
A true memorial of this lovely train.
Come charming maid, and hear thy poet
fing,
Thyfelf the rofe, and He the bird of
Spring:
Love bids him fing, and Love will be
obey'd,
Be gay too foon the flow'rs of Spring will fade.
The PANTHEON. A new Song.
Sung by the DEVIL.
IVE ear to my fong;
GWhen time was but young,
And virtue unmask'd did appear;
I to wickednefs giv'n,
Being caft out of heaven,
In paradife laid my first fnare.
I first tempted madam,
To tempt father Adam,
By flatt'ry's fure bait she was ta'en;
The codlin the eat,
So Adam was bit,
We now and then receive a prefent;
But di'mond necklace, ring, or locket
Agree not with a poet's pocket:
How pertly every blockhead glances
At the poor jingling wight's finances?
True, 'tis not verfe will load his coffers;
But you'll accept of what he offers,
Some jewels to adorn your mind.
So take his rhymes, in which you'll find
From pride our worst misfortunes flow,
Believe the bard that tells you fo,
And fhews how eafy 'tis to cheat
The heart that's puff'd with felf-conceit.
Such nymphs, (if any fuch there be)
Who ftill indulge to vanity,
Disdain as rude the honest youth,
Who durft offend their ears with truth
Far from the paths of wisdom ftray,
And fall the wily flatterer's prey.
But why, my fair, that folemn brow?
I've done with musty morals now:
Attend my tale---Some time ago,
From hence grew that fweet pippin Cain. Perhaps ten thousand years, or so,
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When every bird and beast of parts
Spoke well, and learn'd the liberal arts,
A Kid of pure patrician blood,
Rang'd by the margin of a flood,
And as the dancing image plays,
With pride elate, his form furveys;
Enraptur'd cries, this fhape and air
Were form'd to please and charm the fair :
So nobly born, fo nobly bred,
So found my heart, fo clear my head,
Indulgent nature! can't thou how
Equal perfection here below?
In martial powers, must all agree,
But play with their wealth till they lofe it. No man or beast can equal ine;
A Fox who from a neighb'ring brake,
Liften'd to all the coxcomb ipake,
Crawl'd from his cover, peep'd around,
And foftly fiole along the ground,
Swept o'er the plain unnotic'd, 'till
He met him fcamp'ring 'crofs the hill;
Then stopp'd---and cringing with gri-
As Courtiers ufe who feek for places,
He thus accolts the fportive kid--- ·
Where was fo long fuch beauty hid?
Thou matchlefs youth; with awe I gaze,
Nor faw thy like in all my days;
declare
And thofe expreffive eyes
Thy wit is as thy perfon rare:
Such harmony of fhape and mien
Difclofe the glorious foul within.
Oft have I heard this mountain ring
With tunes as feet as angels fing;
Sure 'twas thy voice---I long to hear
Such mufic vibrate on my ear.
Sir Fox, the tickled Kid replies,
It's very true you pafs for wife,
Nor any want of breeding fhow,
Tho' us'd to company that's low;
You're therefore by mamma forbid
T'affociate with her fav'rite Kid.
You for my friendship are not fit,
Altho' you've taste as well as wit.
Yet want of courtesy were wrong
So I'll indulge you with a fong.
He ftroak'd his beard, and, fill'd with
glee,
Sung" Water parted from the fea."
Oh what melodious founds are thefe,
Cries Reynard, thou art form'd to pleafe;
I'm ravish'd what a pipe is thine !
So foft, fo fweet, fo all divine:
The thrillings of a voice like this
Shed extafy and heav'nly blifs,
Think not---your honour, I intrude,
I'm honest, but would not be rude:
Handel and Claget both advife
That all good fingers thut their eyes;
For, if a quaver fhould be long,
It faves their fight, and helps their fong.
'Tis for this caufe men blind the lark,
And Philomela loves the dark :
How this will aid your Honour's tune,
Experience will convince you foon.
Right, fays the Kid, and hems amain,
And then begins to fing again;
But while he wink'd to fwell his note,
The crafty felon feiz'd his throat,
VERSES, in Anfwer to a young Lady
who was tired of the World.
HAT you vouchfafe within your
breaft,
T'admit me as a welcome guest;
Still to partake an equal share,
Of all whatever enters there,
Is what I always thought a bleffing,
Above what I deferv'd poffelling.
To you, when joy o'erflows my heart,
I gladly do the blifs impart;
But here indeed I e'er fhall own,
Has heav'n its utmost kindness shown;
That ftill I can when feiz'd with grief,
Within your bofom find relief,
For you my kind phyfician give,
The pleafing draught, and bid me live
And yet, my dearest, to be free,
I muft in one thing difagree:
You feem as if you'd lately been,
O'ercharg'd with vapours and the fpleen
Or what, i' th' name of all the gods,
Cou'd make this world and you at odds
Sure you have lately caft your eyes
On fome good book,
That rails at pomps and vanities.
"Tis time enough for talking thus,
We'll leave the world when that leaves
For look abroad a-while and you
Will find this obfervation true;
When folk pretend you to be weary
O'th'world, and all things fublunary
'Tis only, whatfoe'er they feem,
Becaufe the world is tired of them.
Then be for once advis'd by me,
As you're a friend I ask no fee,
What I preferibe I'm very fure,
Is not unpleafant, and will cure,
Lay Scot and Sherlock quite afide,
Let conftant duft their covers hide,
And in their room as soon as may,
Take fome romance or pleasant play,
Read half a dozen lines a day,
Or more, according as you find,
Your conititution is inclin'd.
After fome fmall reiteration,
You'll feel a mighty alteration,
This will the vapours foon difpel,
And make you, without fail as well,
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