To see the kakoŋλíav of our times, a man bend all his forces, means, time, fortunes, to be a favourites favourites favourite, &c. a parasites parasites parasite, that may scorn the servile world, as having enough already. To see an hirsute beggars brat, that lately fed on scraps, crept and whin'd, crying to all, and for an old jerkin ran of errands, now ruffle in silk and satten, bravely mounted, jovial and polite, now scorn his old friends and familiars, neglect his kindred, insult over his betters, domineer over all. To see a scholar crouch and creep to an illiterate peasant for a meals meat; a scrivener better paid for an obligation, a faulkner receive greater wages, than a student; a lawyer get more in a day, than a philosopher in a year; better reward for an hour, than a scholar for a twelve moneths study; him that can paint Thaïs, play on a fiddle, curl hair, &c. sooner get preferment than a philologer or a poet. To see a fond mother, like Æsops ape, hug her child to death, a wittal wink at his wifes honesty, and too perspicuous in all other affairs; one stumble at a straw, and leap over a block; rob Peter, and pay Paul; scrape unjust summs with one hand, purchase great mannors by corruption, fraud, and cozenage, and liberally to distribute to the poor with the other, give a remnant to pious uses, &c.-penny wise, pound foolish; blind men judge of colours; wise men silent, fools talk; 'find fault with others, and do worse themselves; m denounce that in publick which he doth in secret; and (which Aurelius Victor gives out of Augustus) severely censures that in a third, of which he is most guilty himself. To see a poor fellow, or an hired servant, venture his life for his new master, that will scarce give him his wages at years end; a countrey colone toil and moil, till and drudge for a prodigal idle drone, that devours all the gain, or lasciviously consumes with phantastical expences; a noble man in a bravado to encounter death, and, for a small flash of honour, to cast away himself; a worldling tremble at an executer, and yet not fear hell-fire; to wish and hope for immortality, desire to be happy, and yet by all means avoid death, a necessary passage to bring him to it. To see a fool-hardy fellow, like those old Danes, qui decoliari malunt quam verberari, dye rather than be punished, in a sottish humour imbrace death with alacrity, "yet scorn to lament his own sins and miseries, or his dearest friends departures. To see wise men degraded, fools preferred, one govern towns and cities, and yet a silly woman over-rules him at home; command a province, and yet his own servants or children prescribe laws to him, as Themistocles son did in Greece; What I will (said he) my mother will, and what my mother will, my father doth. To see horses ride in a coach, men draw it; dogs devour their masters; towers build masons; children rule; old men go to school; women wear the breeches; sheep demolish towns, devour men, &c. and in a word, the world turned upside downward. O! viveret Democritus! To insist in every particular, were one of Hercules labours; there's so many ridiculous instances, as motes in the sun. Quantum est in rebus inane! And who can speak of all? Crimine ab uno disce omnes; take this for a taste. Tullius. Qui Thaïdem pingere, inflare tibiam, crispare crines. Doctus spectare lacunar. Est enim proprium stultitia aliorum cernere vitia oblivisci suorum. Idem Aristippus Charidemo apud Lucianum. Omnino stultitia cujusdam esse puto, &c. Execrari publice quod occulte agat. Salvianus, lib. de pro. Acres ulciscendis vitiis quibus ipsi vehementer indulgent. Adamus, eccl. hist. cap. 212. Siquis damnatus fuerit, lætus esse gloria est; nam lacrymas, et planctum, cæteraque compunctionum genera, quæ nos salubria censemus, ita abominantur Dani, ut nec pro peccatis nec pro defunctis amicis ulli flere liceat. Orbi dat leges foris, vix famulum regit sine strepitu domi. P Quidquid ego volo, hoc vult mater mea, et quod mater vult, facit pater. Oves, olim mite pecus, nunc tam indomitum et edax, ut homines devorent, &c. Morus, Utop. lib. 1. Diversos variis tribuit natura furores. But these are obvious to sense, trivial and well known, easie to be discerned. How would Democritus have been moved, had he seen the secrets of their hearts! if every man had a window in his breast, which Momus would have had in Vulcan's man, or (that which Tully so much wisht) it were written in every mans forehead, Quid quisque de republica sentiret, what he thought; or that it could be effected in an instant, which Mercury did by Charon in Lucian, by touching of his eyes, to make him discern semel et simul rumores et susurros, Spes hominum cæcas, morbos, votumque labores, Blind hopes and wishes, their thoughts and affairs, that he could cubiculorum obductas fores recludere, et secreta cordium penetrare, (which Cyprian desired) open doors and locks, shoot bolts, as Lucians Gallus did with a feather of his tail; or Gyges invisible ring, or some rare perspective glass, or otacousticon, which would so multiply species, that a man might hear and see all at once (as "Martianus Capellas Jupiter did in a spear, which he held in his hand, which did present unto him all that was daily done upon the face of the earth) observe cuckolds horns, forgeries of alchymists, the philosophers stone, new projectors, &c. and all those works of darkness, foolish vows, hopes, fears, and wishes, what a deal of laughter would it have afforded! He should have seen wind-mills in one mans head, an hornets nest in an other. Or, had he been present with Icaromenippus in Lucian at Jupiters whispering place, and heard one pray for rain, another for fair weather; one for his wives, another for his fathers death, &c. to ask that at Gods hand, which they are abashed any man should hear; how would he have been confounded! would he, think you. or any man else, say that these men were well in their wits? Hæc sani esse hominis qui sanus juret Orestes? Can all the hellebore in the Anticyræ cure these men? No sure, an acre of hellebore will not do it. W y a That which is more to be lamented, they are mad like Senecas blind woman, and will not acknowledge, or * seek for any cure of it; for pauci vident morbum suum omnes amant. If our leg or arm offend us, we covet by all means possible to redress it; and, if we labour of a bodily disease, we send for a physician; but, for the diseases of the mind, we take no notice of them. Lust harrows us on the one side, envy, anger, ambition on the other. We are torn in pieces by our passions, as so many wild horses, one in disposition, another in habit; one is melancholy, another mad; and which of us all seeks for help, doth acknowledge his error, or knows he is sick? As that stupid fellow put out the candle, because the biting fleas should not find him; he shrouds himself in an unknown habit, borrowed titles, because no body should discern him. Every man thinks with himself, egomet videor mihi sanus, I am well, I am wise, and laughs at others. And 'tis a general fault amongst them all, that which our forefathers have approved, diet, apparel, Democrit, ep. præd. Hos dejerantes et potantes deprehendet, hos vomentes, illos litigantes, insidias molientes, suffragantes, venena miscentes, in amicorum accusationem subscribentes, hos gloriâ, illos ambitione cupiditate, mente captos, &c. Ad Donat. ep. 2. lib. 1. O si posses in specula sublimi constitutus, &c. Lib. 1. de nup. Philol. in quâ, quid singuli nationum populi quotidianis motibus agitarent, relucebat. O Jupiter! contingat mihi aurum, hæreditas, &c. Multos da, Jupiter, annos! Dementia quanta est hominum! turpissima vota Diis insusurrant: si quis admoverit aurem, conticescunt; et quod scire homines nolunt, Deo narrant, Senec. ep. 10. lib. 1. w Plautus, Menæch. Non potest hæc res hellebori jugere obtinerier. Eoque gravior morbus, quo ignotior periclitanti. Quæ lædunt oculos, festinas demere; si quid Est animum, differs curandi tempus in annum. Hor. Si caput, erus dolet, brachium, &c. medicum accersimus, recte et honeste, si par etiam industria in animi morbis poneretur, Joh. Peletius Jesuita. lib. 2. de hum. affec. morborumque Et quotusquisque tamen est, qui contra tot pestes medicum requirat, vel ægrotare se agnoscat? ebullit ira, &c. Et nos tamen ægros esse negamus. Incolumes medicum recusant. b Præsens ætas stultitiam priscis exprobrat. Bud. de affec. lib. 5. cura. a b opinions, humours, customs, manners, we deride and reject in our time as absurd. • Old men account juniors all fools, when they are meer dizards; and (as, to sailers,terræque urbesque recedunt they move; the land stands still) the world hath much more wit; they dote themselves. Turks deride us, we them; Italians Frenchmen, accounting them light headed fellows; the French scoff again at Italians, and at their several customs: Greeks have condemned all the world but themselves of barbarism; the world as much vilifies them now: we account Germans heavy, dull fellows, explode many of their fashions; they as contemptibly think of us; Spaniards laugh at all, and all again at them. So are we fools and ridiculous, absurd in our actions, carriages, dyet, apparel, customs and consultations; we scoff and point one at another, when as, in conclusion, all are fools, and they the veriest asses that hide their ears most. A private man, if he be resolved with himself, or set on an opinion, accounts all ideots and asses that are not affected as he is, e i -f(nil rectum, nisi quod placuit sibi, ducit) that are not so minded, (quodque volunt homines, se bene velle putant) all fools that think not as he doth. He will not say with Atticus, suam quisque sponsam, mihi meam, let every man enjoy his own spouse; but his alone is fair, suus amor, &c. and scorns all in respect of himself, h will imitate none, hear none but himself, as Pliny said, a law and example to himself. And that which Hippocrates, in his epistle to Dionysius, reprehended of old, is verified in our times, Quisque in alio superfluum esse censet, ipse quod non habet, nec curat; that which he hath not himself or doth not esteem, he accounts superfluity, an idle quality, a mere foppery in another; like Esops fox, when he had lost his tail, would have all his fellow foxes cut off theirs. The Chineses say, that we Europeans have one eye, they themselves two, all the world else is blind, (though Scaliger accounts them brutes too, merum pecus): so thou and thy sectaries are only wise, others indifferent; the rest, beside themselves, meer idents and asses. Thus not acknowledging our own errors and imperfections, we securely deride others, as if we alone were free, and spectators of the rest, accounting it an excellent thing, as indeed it is, aliená optimum frui insania, to make our selves merry with other mens obliquities, when as he himself is more faulty than the rest: mutato nomine, de te fabula narratur: he may take himself by the nose for a fool; and, which one calls maximum stultitiæ specimen, to be ridiculous to others, and not to perceive or take notice of it, as Marsyas when he contended with Apollo, non intelligens se deridiculo haberi, saith Apuleius; 'tis his own cause; he is a convict madman, as 'Austin well infers: In the eyes of wise men and angels he seems like one, that to our thinking walks with his heels upward. So thou laughest at me, and I at thee, both at a third; and he returns that of the poet upon us again, TM Hei mihi! insanire me aiunt, quum ipsi ultro insaniant. We accuse others of madness, of folly, and are the veriest dizards our selves: for it is a great sign and property of a fool (which Eccl. 10. 3. points at), out of pride and self-conceit, to insult, vilifie, condemn, censure, and call other men fools (Non videmus manticæ quod a tergo est), to tax that in others, of which we are most faulty; teach that which we follow not our selves; for an inconstant man to write of constancy, a prophane liver prescribe rules of sanctity and piety, a dizard himself make a treatise of wisdom, m Senes pro stultis habent juvenes, Balth. Cast. 4 Clodius accusat mochos. • Omnium stultissimi qui auriculas studiose tegunt. Sat. Menip. Hor. Epist. 2. Prosper. Statim sapiunt, statim sciunt, neminem reverentur, neminem imitantur, ipsi sibi exemplo. Plin. ep. lib. 8. Nulli alteri sapere concedit, ne desipere videatur. Agrip. JOmnis orbis a Persis ad Lusitaniam. 2 Florid. August. Qualis in oculis hominum qui inversis pedibus ambulat, talis in oculis sapientum et angelorum qui sibi placet, aut cui passiones dominantur. Menæchmi. m Plautus, or, with Sallust, to rail down-right, at spoilers of countreys, and yet in "office to be a most grievous poller himself. This argues weakness, and is an evident sign of such parties indiscretion. Peccat uter nostrúm cruce dignius? Who is the fool now? Or else peradventure in some places we are Pall mad for company; and so 'tis not seen: societas erroris et dementia pariter absurditatem et admirationem tollit. 'Tis with us, as it was of old (in Tullies censure at least) with C. Fimbria in Rome, a bold, hair-brain'd, mad fellow, and so esteemed of all, such only excepted, that were as mad as himself: now in such a case there is no notice taken of it. Nimirum insanis paucis videatur, eo quod Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur eodem. But put the case they do perceive it, and some one be manifestly convict of madness; he now takes notice of his folly, be it in action, gesture, speech, a vain humour he hath in building, bragging, jangling, spending, gaming, courting, scribling, prating, for which he is ridiculous to others, on which he dotes; he doth acknowledge as much: yet, with all the rhetorick thou hast, thou canst not so recall him, but, to the contrary, notwithstanding, he will persevere in his dotage. 'Tis amabilis insania, et mentis gratissimus error, so pleasing, so delicious, that he cannot leave it. He knows his error, but will not seek to decline it. Tell him what the event will be, beggary, Sorrow, sickness, disgrace, shame, loss, madness; yet "an angry man will prefer vengeance, a lascivious his whore, a thief his booty, a glutton his belly, before his welfare. Tell an epicure, a covetous man, an ambitious man, of his irregular course; wean him from it a little, (Pol! me occidistis, amici!) he cryes anon, you have undone him; and, as a dog to his vomit, he returns to it again; no perswasion will take place, no counsel: say what thou canst, -Clames, licet, et mare cœlo W a -cuter est insanior demonstrate, as Ulysses did to Elpenor and Gryllus, and the rest of his companions those swinish men, he is irrefragable in his humour; he will be a hog still: bray him in a morter; he will be the same. If he be in an heresie, or some perverse opinion, setled as some of our ignorant papists are, convince his understanding, shew him the several follies and absurd fopperies of that sect, force him to say, veris vincor, make it as clear as the sun, he will err still, peevish and obstinate as he is; and as he said, 'si in hoc erro, libenter erro, nec hunc errorem auferri mihi volo; I will do as I have done, as my predecessors have done, and as my friends now do: I will dote for company. b Say now, are these men mad or no? Heus, age, responde! are they ridiculous? cedo quemvis arbitrum; are they sanæ mentis, sober, wise, and discreet? have they common sense ?horum? I am of Democritus opinion, for my part; I hold them worthy to be laughed at a company of brain-sick dizards, as mad as dOrestes and Athamas, that they may go ride the ass, and all sail along to the Anticyræ, in the ship of fools, for company together. I need not much labour to prove this which I say, otherwise than thus, make any solemn protestation, or -Governour of Africk by Cæsars appointment. • Nunc sanitatis patrocinium est insanientium turba Sen. P Pro Roscio Amerino. Et, quod inter omnes constat, insanissimus, nisi inter eos, qui ipsi quoque insaniunt. Necesse est eum insanientibus furere, nisi solus relinqueris. Petronius. • Quoniam non est genus unum stultitiæ, quâ me insanire putas? Stultum me fateor, liceat concedere verum, Atque etiam insanum. Hor. Odi; nec possum cupiens non esse quod odi. Ovid. Errore grato libenter omnes insanimus. "Amator scortum vitæ præponit, iracundus vindictam, fur prædam, parasitus gulam, ambitiosus honores, avarus opes, &c. odimus hæc et accersimus. Cardan. I. 2. de conso. • Prov. 26. 11. Plutarch. Gryllo. suilli homines, sic Clem. Alex. vo. * Non persuadebis, etiamsi persuaseris. y Tully. Malo cum illis insanire, quam cum aliis bene sentire. Qui inter hos enutriuntur, non magis sapere possunt, quam qui in culinâ bene olere. Petron. Persius. ⚫ Hor. 2, ser. d Vesanum exagitant pueri, innuptæque puellæ. swear; I think you will believe me without an oath; say at a word, are they fools? I refer it to you, though you be likewise fools and madmen your selves, and I as mad to ask the question: for what said our comical Mercury? Justum ab injustis petere insipientia est. I'le stand to your censure yet, what think you ? But, for as much as I undertook at first, that kingdoms, provinces, families, were melancholy as well as private men, I will examine them in particular; and that which I have hitherto dilated at random, in more general terms, I will particularly insist in, prove with more special and evident arguments, testimonies, illustrations, and that in brief. Nunc accipe, quare Desipiant omnes æque ac tu. My first argument is borrowed from Solomon, an arrow drawn out of his sententious quiver, Prov. 3. 7. Be not wise in thine own eyes. And 26. 12. Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? more hope is of a fool than of him. Isaiah pronounceth a woe against such men, (cap. 5. 21.) that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight. For hence we may gather, that it is a great offence, and men are much deceived that think too well of themselves, and an especial argument to convince them of folly. Many men (saith Seneca) had been without question wise, had they not had an opinion that they had attained to perfection of knowledge already, even before they had gone half way, too forward, too ripe, præproperi, too quick and ready, cito prudentes, cito pii, cito mariti, cito prutres, cito sacerdotes, cito omnis officii capaces et curiosi: they had too good a conceit of themselves, and that marred all-of their worth, valour, skill, art, learning, judgement, eloquence, their good parts: all their geese are swans : and that manifestly proves them to be no better than fools. In former times they had but seven wise men; now you can scarce find so many fools. Thales sent the golden tripos, which the fisherman found, and the oracle commanded to be given to the wisest, to Bias, Bias to Solon, &c. If such a thing were now found, we should all fight for it, as the three goddesses did for the golden apple-we are so wise: we have women-politicians, children metaphysicians: every silly fellow can square a circle, make perpetual motions, find the philosophers stone, interpret Apocalypsis, make new theoricks, a new systeme of the world, new logick, new philosophy, &c. Nostra utique regio, saith Petronius, our countrey is so full of deified spirits, divine souls, that you may sooner find a God than a man amongst us; we think so well of our selves, and that is an ample testimony of much folly. Ι My second argument is grounded upon the like place of Scripture, which, though before mentioned in effect, yet for some reasons is to be repeated (and, by Platos good leave, I may do it : ' δίς τὸ καλὸν ῥηθὲν οὐδὲν βλάπτει) Fools, (saith David) by reason of their transgressions, &c. Psal. 107. 17. Hence Musculus infers, all transgressors must needs be fools. So we read Rom. 2. Tribulation and anguish on the soul of every man that doth evil; but all do evil. And Isai. 65. 14. My servants shall sing for joy, and m ye shall cry for sorrow of heart, and vexation of mind. 'Tis ratified by the common consent of all philosophers. Dishonesty (saith Cardan) is nothing else but folly and madness. Probus quis nobiscum vivit? Shew me an honest man. Nemo malus, qui non stultus: 'tis Fabius aphorism to the If none honest, none wise, then all fools. And well may they same end. n • Plautus. fHor. 1. 2. sat. 2. & Superbam stultitiam Plinius vocat. 7. ep. 21. quod semel dixi, fixum ratumque sit. Multi sapientes proculdubio fuissent, si sese non putassent ad sapientiæ Idem. Plutarchus, Solone. Detur sapientiori. *Tam præsentibus plena est numinibus, ut facilius possis Deum quam hominem invenire. I Pulchrum bis dicere non summum pervenisse. nocet Malefactors. Who can find a faithful man? Prov. 20. 6. |