their Faces for doing any future Mischief, and not allow any but direct Traders in Beauty to expofe more than the fore Part of the Neck, unless you pleafe to allow this After-Game to those who are very defective in the Charms of the Countenance. I can fay, to my Sorrow, the prefent Practice is very unfair, when to look back is Death; and it may be faid of our Beauties, as a great Poet did of Bullets, They kill and wound like Parthians as they fly. I fubmit this to your Animadverfion; and am, for the little while I have left, Your humble Servant, the languishing PHILANTHUS. P. S. Suppose you mended my Letter, and made a Simile about the Porcupine, but I fubmit that alfo. T N 438. I Imperat T is a very common Expreffion, That fuch a one is very good-natur'd, but very paffionate. The Expreffion indeed is very good-natur'd, to allow paffionate People fo much Quarter: But I think a paffionate Man deferves the leaft Indulgence Imaginable. It is faid, it is foon over; that is, all the Mifchief he does is quickly difpatch'd, which, I think, is no great Recommendation to Favour. I have known one of thefe good-natur'd paffionate Men fay in a mix'd Company even to his own Wife or Child, fuch Things as the most inveterate Enemy of his Family would not have fpoke, even in Imagination. It is certain that quick Senfibility is infeparable from a readyUnderstanding; but why should not that good Understanding call to it felf all its Force on fuch Occafions, to mafter that fudden Inclination to Anger. One of of the greatest Souls now in the World is the most fubject by Nature to Anger, and yet fo famous from a Conqueft of himself this Way, that he is the known Example when you talk of Temper and Command of a Man's felf. To contain the Spirit of Anger, is the worthieft Difcipline we can put our felves to. When a Man has made any Progrefs this way, a frivolous Fellow in a Paffion, is to him as contemptible as a froward Child. It ought to be the Study of every Man, for his own Quiet and Peace. When he ftands combustible and ready to flame upon every thing that touches him, Life is as uneafie to himself as it is to all about him. Syncropius leads, of all Men living, the moft, ridiculous Life; he is ever offending, and begging Pardon. If his Man enters the Room without what he fent for, That Blockhead, begins •Gentlemen, I ask your Pardon, but Servants now adays The wrong Plates are laid, they are thrown into the Middle of the Room; his Wife ftands by in Pain for him, which he fees in her Face, and anfwers as if he had heard all he was thinking; Why, what the Devil! Why don't you take Care to give Orders in thefe things? His Friends fit down to a taftelefs Plenty of every thing, éve ry Minute expecting new Infults from his impertinent Paffions. In a Word, to eat with, or vifit Syncropius, is no other than going to fee him exercife his Family, exercise their Patience, and his own Anger. he IT is monftrous that the Shame and Confufion in which this good-natured angry Man muft needs behold his Friends while he thus lays about him, does not give him fo much Reflection as to create an Amendment.. This is the moft fcandalous Difufe of Reafon imaginable; all the harmless Part of him is no more than that of a Bull-Dog, they are tame no longer than they are not offended. One of thefe good-natured angry Men fhall, in an Inftant, affemble together fo many Allufions to fecret Circumftances, as are enough to diffolve the Peace of all the Families and Friends he is acquainted with, in a Quarter of an Hour, and yet the next Moment be the beft-natured Man in the whole World. If you would fee Paffion in its Purity, without Mixture of Reason, behold it reprefented in a mad Hero, drawn by a mad Poet. Nat;. Les makes his Alexander fay thus: Away, C Away, begon, and give a Whirlwind Room, 2 Or I will blow you up like Duft! Avaunt; Madness but meanly reprefents my Toil. Eternal Difcord! Fury! Revenge! Difdain and Indignation! Tear my fwoln Breaft, make way for Fire and Tempeft. Every paffionate Fellow in Town talks half the Day with as little Confiftency, and threatens Things as much out of his Power. THE next difagreeable Perfon to the outrageous Gentleman, is one of a much lower Order of Anger, and he is what we commonly call a peevish Fellow. A peevish Fellow is one who has fome Reafon in himself for being out of Humour, or has a natural Incapacity for Delight, and therefore difturbs all who are happier than himself with Pishes and Pfhaws, or other well-bred Interjections, at every thing that is faid or done in his Prefence. There fhould be Phyfick mixed in the Food of all which thefe Fellows eat in good Company. This Degree of Anger paffes, forfooth, for a Delicacy of Judgment, that won't admit of being eafily pleas'd: but none above the Chara&ter of wearing a peevish Man's Livery, ought to bear with his ill Manners. All things among Men of Sense and Condition fhould pafs the Cenfure, and have the Protection of the Eye of Reafon. NO Man ought to be tolerated in an habitual Humour, Whim, or Particularity of Behaviour, by any who do not wait upon him for Bread. Next to the peevish Fellow is the Snarler. This Gentleman deals mightily in what we call the Irony, and as thofe fort of People exert themselves moft against thefe below them, you fee their Humour best, in their Talk to their Servants. That is fo like you, You are a fine Fellow, Thou art the quickest Head piece, and the like. One would think the Hectoring, the Storming, the Sullen, and all the different Species and Subordinations of the Angry should be cured, by knowing knowing they live only as pardoned Men; and how pityful is the Condition of being only fuffered? But I am interrupted by the pleasanteft Scene of Anger and the Dif appointment of it that I have ever known, which happened while I was yet Writing, and I overheard as I fat in the Back-roon at a French Bookfeller's. There came into the Shop a very learned Man with an erect folemn Air, and tho' a Perfon of great Parts otherwife, flow in understanding any thing which makes against himself. The Compofure of the faulty Man, and the whimsical Perplexity of him that was juftly angry, is perfectly New After turning over many Volumes, faid the Seller to the Buyer, Sir, you know I have long asked you to fend me back the first Volume of French Sermons I formerly lent you; Sir, faid the Chapman, I have often looked for it but cannot find it; It is certainly loft, and I know not to whom I lent it, it is fo many Years ago; then Sir, here is the other Volume, I'll send you home that, and pleafe to pay for both. My Friend, reply'd he, canft thou be fo Senfelefs as not to know that one Volume is as imperfect in my Library as in your Shop. Yes, Sir, but it is you have loft the first Volume, and to be short I will be Paid. Sir, anfwered the Chapman, you are a young Man, your Book is loft, and learn by this little Lofs to bear much greater Adverfities, which you must expect to meet with. Yes, Sir, I'll bear when I must, but I have not left now, for I fay you have it and shall pay me. Friend you grow Warm, I tell you the Book is loft, and I foresee in the Courfe even of a profperous Life, that you will meet Afflictions to make you Mad, if you cannot bear this Trifle. Sir, there is in this Cafe no need of bearing, for you have the Book. it not. to tell I fay, Sir, I have not the Book. But your Paffion will not let you hear enough to be informed that I have Learn Refignation of your felf to the Distresses of this Life: Nay do not fret and fume, it is my Duty you that you are of an impatient Spirit, and an impatient Spirit is never without Woe. Was ever any thing like this? Yes, Sir, there have been many things like this. The Lofs is but a Trifle, but your Temper is Wanton, and incapable of the leaft Pain? therefore let me advife you, be patient, the Book is loft, but do not you for that Reafon lofe your felf, T Thursday, N° 439. Thursday, July 24. Hi narrata ferunt alio: menfuraque ficti Ο Ov. VID defcribes the Palace of Fame as fituated in the very Center of the Univerfe, and perforated with fo many Windows and Avenues as gave her the Sight of every thing that was done in the Heavens, in the Earth, and in the Sea. The Structure of it was contrived in fo admirable a manner, that it Echo'd every Word which was spoken in the whole Compafs of Nature; fo that the Palace, fays the Poet, was always filled with a confufed Hubbub of low dying Sounds, the Voices being almost spent and worn out before they arrived at this General Rendezvous of Speeches and Whispers. I confider Courts with the fame Regard to the Governments which they fuperintend, as Ovid's Palace of Fame with regard to the Univerfe. The Eyes of a watchful Minister run through the whole People. There is scarce a Murmur or Complaint that does not reach his Ears. They have News-Gatherers and Intelligencers diftributed into their feveral Walks and Quarters, who bring in their refpective Quota's, and make them acquainted with the Difcourfe and Converfation of the whole Kingdom or Common-wealth where they are employed. The wisest of Kings, alluding to thefe invifible and unfufpected Spies, who are planted by Kings and Rulers over their Fellow-Citizens, as well as to those Voluntary Informers that are buzzing about the Ears of a great Man, and making their Court by fuch fecret Methods of Intelligence, has given us a very prudent Caution: Curfe not the King, no not in thy Thought, and Curfe not the Rich in thy Bedchamber: For a Bird of the Air fhall carry the Voice, and that which bath Wings fhall tell the matter. AS it is abfolutely neceffary for Rulers to make use of other Peoples Eyes and Ears, they should take particular Care to do it in such a manner, that it may not bear too hard |