CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATION. A good-humoured jeu d'esprit, intended to produce nothing but corresponding good humour in the persons whose names are mentioned, appeared in The Times on the 25th of January, 1816. This being the first day of Cambridge Term, the "freshmen" who have seen recent imitations may be much amused by perusal of the original witticism. Parody of a Cambridge Examination. UTOPIA UNIVERSITY. UNDECEMBER 9657. 1. Give a comparative sketch of the principal English theatres, with the dates of their erection, and the names of the most eminent candle-snuffers at each. What were the stage-boxes? What were the offices of prompter-ballet-masterand scene-shifter? In what part of the theatre was the one-shilling gallery? Distinguish accurately between operas and puppet-shows. 2. Where was Downing-street? Who was prime-minister when Cribb defeated Molineux-and where did the battle take place? Explain the terms milling-fibbing-cross buttock-neck and crop-bang up-and-prime. 3. Give the dates of all the parliaments from their first institution to the period of the hard frost on the Thames. In what month of what year was Mr. Abbot elected Speaker? Why was he called "the little man in the wig?" When the Speaker was out of the chair, where was the mace put? 4. Enumerate the principal houses of call in and about London, marking those of the Taylors, Bricklayers, and Shoemakers, and stating from what Brewery each house was supplied with Brown Stout. Who was the tutelary Saint of the Shoemakers? At what time was his feast celebrated? Who was Saint Swithin' Do you remember any remarkable English proverb respecting him? 5. Give a ground plan of Gileadhouse. Mention the leading topics of the Guide to Health, with some account of the Anti-Impetigines-Daffy's ElixirBlaine's Distemper Powders-Ching's Worm Lozenges and Hooper's Female Pills. Cade, and sir Francis Burdett 6. Give characters of Wat Tyler, Jack Did the latter return from the Tower by water or land? On what occasion did Mr. Lethbridge's" hair stand on ind"? Correct the solecism, and give the reason of your alteration. 7. Enumerate the roads on which dou ble toll was taken on the Sundays. Dio this custom extend to Christmas-day and Good Friday? Who was toll-taker at Tyburn, when Mrs. Brownrigg was exe cuted? Sculls and Oars-Boat, and Punt—Jack 8. Distinguish accurately betweer. ass, and Donkey-Gauger, Exciseman, and Supervisor-Pantaloons, Trowsers, Gaiters, and Over-alls.-At what place of education were any of these forbidden? Which? and Why? 9. Express the following words in the Lancashire, Derbyshire, London, and Exmoor dialects-Bacon-Poker-YouI-Doctor-and Turnpike-gate. 10. Mention the principal Coach Inns in London, with a correct list of the Coaches which set out from the Bolt-inTun. Where were the chief stands of Hackney Coaches?-and what was the No. of that in which the Princess Charlotte drove to Connaught-house? To what stand do you suppose this removed after it set her down? 11. Give a succinct account, with dates, of the following persons-Belcht-Mr. Waithman-Major Cartwright-Martin Van Butchell-and Ed nund Henry Barker. 12. Draw a Map of the Thames with the surrounding country, marking particularly Wapping, Blackwall, Richmond, and the Isle of Dogs. Distinguish between Newcastle-on-Tyne, and Newcastleunder-Line-Gloucester and Double Gloucester-and the two Richmonds. What celebrated teacher flourished at one of them?-and who were his most eminent disciples? 13. What were the various sorts of paper in use amongst the English? To what purpose was whited-brown chiefly applied? What was size? Distinguish be tween this and college Sizings, and state the ordinary expense of papering a room. 14. "For every one knows little Matt's an M.P." Frag. Com. Inc. ap. Morn. Chron. vol. 59, p. 1624. What reasons can you assign for the general knowledge of this fact? Detail at length, the ceremony of chairing a Member. What were the Hustings? Who paid for them? Explain the abbre viations Matt. M.P. Tom-DickF.R.S.-L.L.D.-and A.S.S. 15. What was the distinguishing title of the Mayors of London? Did any other city share the honour? Give a list of the Mayors of London from Sir Richard Whittington to Sir William Curtis, with an account of the Cat of the first, and the Weight of the last. What is meant by Lord Mayor's day? Describe the Apothecaries' Barge, and give some account of Marrow-bones and Cleavers. 16. When was Spyring and Marsden's Lemon Acid invented? Distinguish be tween this and Essential Salt of Lemons, Enumerate the principal Patentees, especially those of Liquid Blacking. 17. Scan the following linesBut for shaving and tooth-drawing, Bleeding, cabbaging and sawing, Dicky Gossip, Dicky Gossip is the man! What is known of the character and history of Dicky Gossip? FLORAL DIRECTORY. Green Narcisse. Narcissus Viridiflorus. Dedicated to St. Hermenigild. April 14. Sts. Tiburtius, Valerian, and Marimus, A D. 229. Sts. Carpus, Bishop, Papylus, and Agathodorus, A. D. 251. Sts. Antony, John, and Eustachius, A. D. 1342. St. Benezet, or Little Bennet, A. D. 1184. B. Lidwina, or Lydwid, A. D. 1433. CHRONOLOGY. 1471. The battle of Barnet was fought in the wars between the houses of York and Lar.caster, and the earl of Warwick, called "the king-maker," was slain on 1685. Thomas Otway, the dramatic 1759. George Frederick Handel, the illustrious musician, died. He was born at Halle, in Saxony, in 1684. 1793. Tobago, in the West Indies, taken by the English. 1809. Beilby Porteus, bishop of London, died at Fulham, aged 78. FLORAL DIRECTORY. Borage. Borago Officinalis. Dedicated to St. Lidwina. THE SEASON. The Floral appearances of the year are accurately described by Dr. Forster in He says, his "Perennial Calendar." "In order to ascertain the varieties in the seasons, as indicated by the flowering of plants, we ought to become accurately acquainted with their natural periods, and the average time of flowering which belongs to each species. I have of late made an artificial division of the seasons of different plants into six distinct periods, to each of which respectively a certain number of species belong. Dividing then the reign of the goddess of blooms into six principal portions, we shall begin with the first in the order of phenomena. The Primaveral Flora may be said to commence with the first breaking of the frost before February; it comprehends the snowdrop, the crocus, the coltsfoot, all the tribe of daffodils, narcissi, jonquils, and hyacinths, the primrose, cyclamen, heartsease, violet, cowslip, crown imperial, and many others. The Equinox being also past, and the leaves beginning to bud forth amidst a display of blossoms on the trees, another period may be said to begin, and May ushers in the Vernal Flora, with tulips, peonies, ranunculi, monkey poppy, goatsbeards, and others: at this time, the fields are bespangled with the golden yellow of the crowfoot, or blue with the harebells The whole bosom of earth seems spread with a beautiful carpet, to soften the path of Flora, at this delicious season. By and bye, towards the middle of June, the approach of the Solstice is marked by another set of flowers; and the scarlet lychnis, the various poppies, the lilies and roses, inay be said to constitute the Solstitial Flora. As the year declines, the Aestival Flora, corresponding to the Vernal, paints the garish eyes of the dogdays with sunflowers, China asters, tropoeoli, African marigolds, and other plants which love heat. The Autumnal Flora, answering to the Primaveral, then introduces Michaelmas daisies, starworts, and other late blowing plants, with their companions, fungi and mushrooms, till at length bleak winter shows only a few hellebores, aconites, and mosses, belonging to the Hibernal Flora of this dreary season. Thus, in this our temperate climate, have we a round of botanical amusements all the year, and the botanist can never want for sources of recreation. How different must be the order of phenomena about the poles of the earth, where summer and winter are synonymous with day and night, of which Kirke White has given us a very fine description: On the North Pole. Where the North Pole, in moody solitude, Form a gigantic hall; where never sound Stalks like some woe struck man along the desert way. In that drear spot, grim Desolation's lair, No sweet remain of life encheers the sight; Would freeze to marble, Mingling day and night, And see, the sun's returning light Away the transient clouds hath driv'n The rainbow's arch with colours bright Spreads o'er the blue expanse of heav'n The storm is hush'd, the winds are still, A balmy fragrance fills the air; Nor sound is heard, save some clear rill Meandering thro' the vallies fair. Those vernal show'rs that from on high Descend, make earth more fresh and green; Those clouds that darken all the air Disperse, and leave it more serene And speak the sunshine of the soul! His chast'ning hand will never break The heart that trusts in Him alone: He never, never will forsake The meanest suppliant at his throne. The world, that with unfeeling pride Sees vice to virtue oft preferr'd, From thee, alas! may turn aside O, shun the fawning, flatt'ring her!! And while th' Eternal gives thee health With joy thy daily course to run, Let wretches hoard their useless wealth, And Heav'n's mysterious will be done. With fair Religion, woo content, 'Twili bid tempestuous passions cease, And know, my child, the life that's spent In pray'r and praise, must end in peace The dream of Life is quickly past, A little while we linger here; And tho' the Morn be overcast, The Ev'ning may be bright and clear Islington. D. G. April 16. Eighteen Martyrs of Saragossa, and St. Encratis, or Engratia, A. v. 304. St. Turibius, Bp. 420. St. Fructuosus, Abp. A. D. 665. St. Druon, or Drugo, A. D. 1186. St. Joachim of Sienna, A. D. 1305. St. Mans, or Magnus, A. D. 1104. "The Venerable "BENEDICT JOSEPH LABRE, "Who died in the odour of sanctity, "On the 16th of April, 1783." If such a creature as the venerable B. J. Labre can be called a man, he was one of the silliest that ever lived to creep and whine, and one of the dirtiest that ever "died in the odour of sanctity;" and yet, for the edification of the English, his life is translated from the French" by the rev. M. James Barnard, ex-president the English college at Lisbon and Vicar General of the London distict." From this volume it appears that Labre Bowring. was born at Boulogne, on the 26th of March, 1748. When a child he would not play as other children did, but made little oratories, and "chastised his body." Having thus early put forth "buds of selfdenial and self-contempt," he was taught Latin, educated superior to his station, did penance, made his first general confession, and found his chief delight at the feet of altars. At sixteen years old, instead of eating his food he gave it away out of the window, read pious books as he walked, turned the house of his uncle, a priest, into "a kind of monastery, observed religious poverty, monkish silence, and austere penance, and, by way of humility, performed abject offices for the people of the parish, fetched provender for their animals, took care of their cattle, and cleaned the stalls. The aversion which he entertained against the world, induced him to enter into a convent of Carthusians; there he discovered that he dishe should not be able to save his soul liked profound retirement, and imagined unless he embraced an order more austere. presented to his zealous mind the practice of that kind of piety which he afterwards put in execution" His first step to this was writing a farewell letter to his parents, on the 31st of August, 1770, "and from that time they never received any account of him till after his death." His next steps were pilgrimages. First he went to Loretto "from tender devotion to the Blessed Virgin, whom he looked on as his mother;" next to Assissium the birthplace of St. Francis, where he, "according to custom, got a small blessed cord which he constantly wore;" then he went to Rome where he sojourned for eight or nine months and wept " in the presence of the tomb of the holy apostles;" afterwards "he visited the tomb of St. Romuald at Fabrieno, where the inhabitants immediately began to look upon him as a saint;" from thence he returned to Loretto; he then journeyed to Naples, and had the pleasure of seeing the blood of St. Januarius which would not liquify when the French entered Naples, till the French general threatened the priests who performed the miracle that the city would suffer, if the saint remained obstinate; "and in short," says the rev. Vicar General of the London district, “there was hardly any famous place of devotion in Europe which was not visited by this servant of God;"-the Vicar General's sentence had concluded better with the words "this slave of superstition." To follow Labre's other goings to and fro would be tedious, suffice it to say that at one of his Loretto trips some people offered him an abode, in order to save him the trouble of going every night to a barn at a great distance; but as they had prepared a room for him with a bed in it he thought this lodging was too sump tuous; and he therefore retired into a hole "cut out of the rock under the street." Labre at last favoured the city of Rome by his fixed residence, and sanctified the amphitheatre of Flavian by making his home in a hole of the ancient ruins. In this "hole of sufficient depth to hold and shelter him in a tolerable degree from the weather," he deposited himself every night for several years. He employed the whole of every day, "sometimes in one church and sometimes in another, praying most commonly upon his knees, and at other times standing, and always keeping his body as still as if he were a statue.' Labre's daily exercise in fasting |