he would have me, is even as I would have it myfelf, I have not a word to object against it, no, it is my own wishes, and I blefs his name, that has brought me, to be fo minded and affected, to like well of his laws, and be highly fatisfied in them, and heartily subscribe to them, and ftand up to plead for them, and all my tancour and prejudice against them is dropt, and fallen to the ground, and all the old stubbornness, and refifting the things of my peace and falvation, at an end.

O my foul, yield up thyfelf overcome by fuch fweet mercies of the Lord, and let there be no more the leaft muttering against my gracious God, but all thanks to him, and all joy in him, through our Lord Jefus Chrift.

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Leffed God! My fins have thrown me out from thee, not only as a ftranger, but an enemy. But thou haft fent thy Son, the power "ful Mediator between God and man, to give mu"tual fatisfaction on both fides; in providing for "thy honour, and for our comfort, that the wrong "to thy holiness and juftice might be repaired, and "that our fouls, difmayed and caft down, might be " relieved. O gracious God! in him, be reconcil"ed to me, and alfo fo reconcile me to thyfelf, that "I may not be offended at any thing, which thou "art or doft, seeing there is nothing in thee, or "done by thee, but what is moft worthy of thee, "who art good, and doft good, and nothing else "but what is good. O make me, Lord, more fen"fible of thy goodness, and more thankful for it, "and draw me nearer, and engage me fafter to "thyfelf by it, that I may not harbour any the "leaft prejudice against thee, but love ftill to be "with thee, and rejoice in the Lord evermore. "Amen."

VOL. I.

M E

MEDITATION XXIII.

Of revolting from God.

VER fince the time that fin firft entered into

EV

the world, and made the fad breach with heaven, O my foul, what a work have we ftill upon our hands, to keep our treacherous, fhuffling hearts, in any fair correspondence above, and upon any good terms with God! how are we eftranged even from the womb! and how long do we live in the world without God! fo great aliens to him, as if there were no fuch being for us to regard! and after we begin to emerge out of this darkness and distance, and better to acquaint ourselves with the Lord, and think it time to return home, and get into the houfhold of God: yet, O the dead weight of our finful corruption that hangs upon us, and is ftill dragging us another way! and throwing us down into frequent fits of that fpiritual epilepfy, which is the common diftemper of poor lapfed mankind: the hearts that were lately fcoured and cleanfed, and fet right, O how foon do they gather duft and filth, and ruft again, to put them at a ftand, or all out of order? O what a wrong bias has our nature got, to carry us away from that which is beft for us! with how much ado is it, that we are brought to our God! how do we hang back as loth to approach the bleffed prefence! but when the Lord's gracious attractions have drawn in thofe, that of themselves had no mind to come, and he is found of us that fought him not, and

✓ we

we are furprized with the preventing mercy, and fo affected with fuch kindness and love, that methinks, we shall never forget it, and refolve never to abuse it, yet ftill does the old principle lie rooted at the bottom, which makes us bent to backfliding; fickle and wavering to good, attentive to the tempter's beck and call, and (not knowing when we are well) ready to fhift, though much for the worse, uneafy to be held to our duty, we would enlarge our way, where we may have enough of liberty, to run upon mifery, yea, and enlarge our confcience, to bring it to our bow, and make us think we act wifely, to do fo wickedly. When the world has catched our hearts, how do they fly then to our treasure on earth, and make that their centre of reft! when we admire the beauty, that glitters in our wanton eye, and dote on the pleafure that ravishes our fleshly sense: then the thoughts of God, and things heavenly, begin to fit heavy, and the bu finefs of his religion is looked upon as a troublefome interruption, then the heart is gone a-whoring from the Lord, and though the face of piety may not yet be put off, yet all is but formality and hypocrify, and abomination in the fight of God, that remains to look fair to the world; and the time is watched, even to throw the yoke quite off, and run into all loofeness of manners; and thus how have feveral that gave the greatest hopes, gone out in ftench and scandal, to fadden fome, and harden others, and irrecoverably lose themselves.

O my foul, fhall not their falling be thy warning? and their dreadful destruction, thy continual admo nition? that thou grow not inobfervant of thy own ftate and way, bold to fin and impatient to be checked, fhy to God, and careless of his interests, keen upon the world, and cold to heaven, fhaking hands with the power of godlinefs, and ready to despise

defpife and fcoff that, which had once thy warm heart, and highest veneration.

The moft critical inspection is here no more than thou haft need of, it calls for the wifeft caution, and the working out thy falvation with fear and trembling, yea, with an early prevention, to look to things in the beginning, when, as there are many fteps, in the falling way, and it is not all on a fudden, but by gradual procefs, that men reach to the fearful end of their wickednefs, and thy very fear of falling, my foul, may be the means of thy ftanding; to apprehend thy danger, may help to prevent it, when thou knoweft how the fpiritual treasure, that lies within, is befieged and affaulted on every fide, from enemies abroad, and the very heart that holds it, is fo falfe and ready ftill to give it up, all the good that is in thee, being an exotic plant, which grows not naturally in that foil: therefore, without good cultivation, and careful manage ment, how apt will it be to wither and fade away! well then may it awake thy concern and jealoufy, thy utmost endeavour and application, to keep the happy ftation, where the grace of God has placed thee, left thou tumble down the stairs again, after thy advancement to fo good a degree, and to be as tender and timorous of finking in thy fpiritual condition, as of decays and beggary, in thy worldly eftate; or any threatening fymptoms, that ftrike at the health and life of the body.

O canft thou chufe, my foul, but often thus call thyfelf to account? is my heart right with God? are things fo well with me, as formerly? have I not loft of my love, and zeal, and care, and diligence, and devotion, and heavenly converfation? am not I going down the hill, in the way to be undone? does not the world encroach, and gain upon me, to look better to my eye, and tafte fweeter to my appetite? have not the charms of the bewitch

ing fyren inveigled my heart; and dampt me to the love of God? is the thing that would divert, and carry me another way, fo little, I need not fcruple or stand upon it? then why, my foul, fhould I offer to break with my God, for fo fmall a matter? but, ah, how can I count that little, which is like to cool me to him, if not to part between me and him? for he is a jealous God, that will not endure a rival: and if I begin but to look with a luftful eye, upon another beloved, how foon will he discover me, and alter his countenance and carriage towards me? away then from me, whatever would have me from my God. If I but leave out a prayer, or curtail, and run it out of the way, that I may be fomewhere else, more to content, O how foon may fuch omiffions and fhufflings grow to more ungodlinefs? and one neglect and contempt make way for another, and fo the breach wax wider: till God be forgotten, and left out, even days without number! O how does it concern me then, to have my eyes inward, and fee that matters be not fuffered to lie careless and defperate there; to run from bad to worfe, till all be loft.

Wretched creatures! that have nothing but an empty confidence, to ikin over all the wounds, and bruifes, and putrifying fores? When indeed, this wicked world has none in a worse state, than fome that are fo prefumptuous of the fair terms, on which they are with God. But O happy the man that feareth alway! because, thus dreading the worst, he provides for the best, and prevents the furprizing downfal into that condemnation of the devil, which it were a miracle, if the inadvertent and unwary fouls fhould escape.

My foul, the bleffed God, and his curfed deferters, cannot both have thee, but when thou art confederate with them, thou art loft to him. O let them never feduce thee from him, who muft ftick to

thee,