amifs; because they do not know, and will not inquire or confider, how it is with them? how do they mistake any counterfeit ftuff for the truth of grace? and will not be beaten out of their vain hopes; nor thought to make any doubt, but that their hearts are good, and their intereft in Chrift fure enough and go dreaming of nothing but heaven, in the very way to hell; because they will not take their hearts in tafk, to commune with them, and come to the good understanding of them. When yet here to be deceived, is to be undone ; and to find out what is bad, the next way to get it amended; and to make but a difcovery of fincerity, will pay well for all the trouble of the inquiry.

O my foul, how many are kept from Chrift, by the prefumption, that they have him already? and by a fort of faith, held faft ftill in unbelief? when they judge of themselves, only by their fancies, or their wishes; thus who in better cafe than they? but alas, what do falfe mediums produce, but only fallacies in the conclufion? flesh and blood may fpeak to them nothing but good; when God's Word tells them no fuch matter. Paul, when he was unconverted, had a better opinion of himself, than after. And who readier to abfolve themselves, than the Pharifees, thofe outside men, that little or nothing minded what was within? they bore it out, that they were Abraham's children; though our Saviour told them, they were the children of the devil. And fo can many brag of their honeft, good hearts, when the Lord knows thofe hearts to be deceitful and desperately wicked. And as long as they go all by wrong measures, Lord, when are they like to be undeceived? The good hopers, that never come to a ftand, nor once fufpect themselves; nor will be brought to the touchftone of Holy Scripture, roundly conclude all in their own favour; though not a word of peace belongs to them, and

all

all the Word of God is against them. When they never so much as find, how they are out, O what real hopes, that they will be fet right? and when will they come to the true knowledge of themselves, that judge only by the course of the world, and the way of the moft? and flatter themselves, that they are even as they fhould be; because they know many as bad, and fome, they believe, worse than themselves. Which, though it be true, may not be a jot the better for them; but the very thing which bears them up (if well confidered) might ferve to caft them down; even that they are but with the many, in that broad way, which leads to endless mifery. And it is not what others are; but what my Lord tells me, I muft be; if faved I will be. Let me be covered with never fo fair leaves, if I bear not fruit, I am under the curfe. And though I do fome things that are good; yet, if my motives and designs are naught, inftead of the faithful fervant's reward, I may then dread the rotten hypocrite's portion. It is not for me, here to fool myself with common mistakes; nor to fit down in a forry dangerous condition, as if I could mock God, as well as put upon the world; but fearch and try my ways; yea, my very heart and fpirit, my thoughts and reins; to find what workings of grace I have experienced and what better things that accompany falvation, I have received; how I ftand affected, and whether indeed I am turned and renewed? whether I am not only washed from the old mire; but have the fwinish nature changed, and have ob tained an inheritance among them that are fanctified? whether the way that I am upon, will ferve the turn, and is the way, that is like to bring me to a bleffed end?

Now is the time, my foul, to inquire into thefe things; and to get good information and refolution, before it be too late. To take drofs for gold, VOL. I. S f

and

and a vain fiction of my own head, for the faving grace of God, would be a cheat, not only to my forrow, but my ruin. What fhould I regard then, to hear fome applaud themselves, how free are they from fears and doubts; which, alas, does but betray their deadnefs in fin, and their want of fenfe and the ftrong one keeping things quiet, left he fhould awaken and lose them? do not I hear of fuch as went confidently to meet the bridegroom, when they had not a drop of oil for their lamps? and they that can hope luftily, becaufe of their worldly profperity; or think to prefume themselves into heaven, when they lead licentious lives, and neglect prayers, and walk not in holy ways; never fhall I envy their confidence, nor give a ftraw for all their good thoughts of themselves. O O my foul, let me rather fufpect the worft, and work out my falvation with fear and trembling. And if there be any way to get upon fure terms, O let me take it; yea, be the truth that concerns me never fo bitter, O let me know it: for here I dread to be deceived, and therefore to the Word of Truth (the infallible teft of what is fincere, and foul-faving) let me go and try myself, and by that holy rule, make proof of my heart and life; and by what I there find, abide; feem it with me, or against me; judging myself by that Word now, whereby I fhall be judged in the laft day. And O may he, who knows me better than I do myfelf, help me in this difquifition; and difcover me to myself, and make me understand whereabout I am; and how towards him I ftand; and not only fhew me my cafe, but fo amend it, that I may be fuch as the Lord does approve, and will be pleased to accept.

THE

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THE PRAYE R.

Muft acknowledge myself, O LORD, to have been one of thofe impertinents that use to ramble abroad, and concern themselves about every thing rather than what belongs to their "own fouls. The knowledge of my foul's nature, ર yea, and even of my bodily frame, is too excel"lent for me, to attain to it. But my finful ne "glect it is, if I am not well acquainted with the "Itate of my'fpiritual affairs, to know how I ftand "with thee, my God, and whether I get or lose, "in my way to heaven. O teach me, Lord, so "well to understand myself, as narrowly to observe "the ufurpations of fin, and curiouДly to discern, "the advances of thy kingdom, and the encroach❝ment of the contrary party, in my foul. Let me ftand on my watch, and fet me upon the tower, of a ferious confideration, to look down "into myself, and perceive how it is with me, and whereabout I am, in the progrefs of my fal vation, that where I am out I may retrieve myἐσ felf, and when I am right may hold me, till I "reach the bleffed end. Amen."

MEDITATION LXVII
Of Self-denial,

To give

10 O give battle to the inclinations of our nature, and wrestle against flesh and blood; to conflict with our own dear genius, and deny ourselves; this is so sharp a service, that who almost can abide

ta

to hear of it? the very found is harfh, and carries fuch a prejudice to the carnal mind, as makes it rejected, even before it is well confidered; but, my foul, let me venture to come up to the mormo, and fee what is in it, before I run away affrighted from it: for that which looks fo grim may have a better infide, as rich mines lie under unpromifing foils, and the fweet kernel is fetched out of a hard fhell. Let me not then give defiance to the thing, for the name; nor condemn it, before I understand it: for to deny myself, is not fo to macerate and torment myself, as to disclaim all the comforts of the world, and refufe to taste any pleasure of my life. life. When if I will not eat and drink, because I am unworthy, I fhall fo incur the guilt of murder, because I will not use the needful preservatives of life; and yet if I do use them, God has fo framed the objects and organs, I cannot chufe but find pleasure in the ufe, And fuch pleasure then he does not lay as a fnare, but provides, like himself, who has pleasure in the profperity of his fervants; nor does fin lie in the ufe, but the excefs. It is not then my natural self, and the appetites which God has created, that are to be denied; no, but my carnal felf, that is grown a party disjunct and oppofite to him that made me, his rival and competitor, that fets up a will and law against his; and makes me only for pleafing myself, whether he be pleased or not. When my lufts and vicious habits become even incorporate with me, as parts of myself; and to part with them, feems fuch a violence to nature, as the difmembering of myfelf; fuch a felf, it is time to deny, if I would not fight with God, and thwart his Word, and lofe his love, and all my own blifs. Such a felf I must renounce and hate, that would pull me from God, or engage me against him; fuch a felf that must be humoured, though he be difhonoured; and would have me do this or that, when his Word calls me quite another

way,