I would now perswade you, to drop all Pretensions here, and be humbly thankful to God, that He mercifully opens to you Doors of service where you may have more undisturbed Opportunities to spend your latter Dayes, in a Correction of those Errors, which have created you so much Trouble in all the former Stages of your Action. I am, Sir, one that wishes you very well.

1717

THE LV YEAR OF MY LIFE.

12 d. XII m. [February.] 1716.-17. The fifty-fourth Year of my Life is now finished. And the Glorious Lord of my Life, has with marvellous Displays of sovereign Grace, prolonged it, how much beyond my Reasonable Expectation!

In the former part of the Day, I sett myself to give Thanks unto the Lord, for His Favours which I have seen in His hitherto preserving and variously sweetening of my Life.

In the latter Part of the Day, I humbled myself before Him, for the Errors of my Life: and especially bewailed the cursed Sloth, which has been such a Crime and such a plague unto me; and made my Flight unto the great Sacrifice for the Pardon of all my Miscarriages; and I entreated of Him, that He would spare me this Year also; and make it a fruitful year; and prepare me for all the Events and Changes, which in this year I may, meet withal.

G. D. My Son Samuel, must be made more the object of my Conversation, and my Cultivation. As often as the Lad comes in my View, I must think, What Good shall I now do to the Child? or, What Good shall I putt the Child upon? or, What shall I now enrich his Mind withal? Especially, teach him to live unto God, in what he does, both at School, and at Home.

13. G. D. I would look on certain sick Ministers, as my Brethren. My Prayer shall be in their Calamities. I will study to do for them all the acts of a Brother born for their Adversity. Tho' I must overcome Evil with Good, in doing so.

14. G. D. Yesterday in the Afternoon, there died the elder Minister of the old South Church in the Town; one

435

who was eight or nine years younger than myself.1 He was a man of greater Abilities than many others: and, no doubt, a pious man: but a man of a strangely choleric and envious Temper, and one who had created unto me more Trials of my Patience, and more Clogs upon my Opportunities to do good, than almost any other Man in the World. The younger Minister of that Church,2 a dear Son, and one of an excellent Spirit, should have preach'd this Day; but in his Distress he flies unto me to take his Place in the public Services. I cannot easily reckon up the Opportunities to do good, which I find concurring, in this one Invitation to public Performances on such an Occasion. And the glorious Lord helped me to glorify Him, in the speaking of many Things to serve the general Interests of Religion, as well as in the Testimony which I gave to what was laudable in the Character of the departed Minister.

There was a vast Auditory; and I was greatly assisted of God.

Præliminary to my public Performances, as I had my Humiliations, thus I humbled myself before the Lord, bewayling all the Distempers which the ill Carriage of the Deceased Neighbour may at any time have thrown me into; and admiring the divine Goodness and Patience, which has given me to outlive so many of my younger Brethren.

15. G. D. In Conversation with our excellent Governour, I am now proposing of several Services. But very particularly to forward the Publication of the, Biblia Americana, by the Help of his Brothers in England.

16. G. D. Some foolish and froward Peoples have by very disingenuous Misrepresentations, done me much harm. I must overcome Evil with Good.

1 Rev. Ebenezer Pemberton (1672–1717).

2 Rev. Joseph Sewall.

'John Shute Barrington, first Viscount Barrington (1678-1734). See Dictionary of National Biography, III. 290.

17. G. D. Two ministers of Note in the Countrey, one if not both, of them younger than myself, are now lying Dead.1 What Improvement should I make of the Spectacle?

Be sure, a most Quickened Industry, a strong Vigour, a swift Despatch, in the Work which my Hand finds to do. My God, Help me to abound, and make haste in the Work of the Lord!

18. G. D. The Admonitions of Piety from such a Text as Eccl. IX. 10. on these Occasions, may be such as the Flock may receive good Impressions from.

19. G. D. So many of my Family are now so taken off one way or another, and the rest are so indifferent at Singing, that I am afraid, I must often omitt, the Singing, which makes a part of the Evening-Sacrifices in our Family. When at any Time I do omitt it, what shall I substitute in the Room of it? I am thinking, on Reading one of Luther's Meditations, on the, Insignes Sacrtae Scripturae Sententiæ, whereof there is a published collection, or else 2

20. G. D. Propose to my Brother at Witney, a Retreat unto New England, in Case any Storms arise in England. 21. G. D. Direct the, Lapis e Monte Excisus, to Geneva. It may be a seasonable Action, and attended with marvellous Consequences.

22. G. D. Some Care must be taken, to find a convenient Place, where the Ministers of the Town may meet after the Lecture; where I may be an Instrument of some good.

23. G. D. A poor Man sick, whom nobody takes notice of, must be the Object of my Kindnesses.

23 d. XII m. Satureday. This Day, I sett apart for Prayer with Fasting in my Study.

1 Rev. Mr. Pemberton and Rev. William Brattle, the latter dying February 14. Sewall wrote, "That Two Divines so eminently usefull, should ly dead in their Houses at once, is what I have not before observed, and wish it be not portentous." Letter Book, 11. 66.

2 Left unfinished.

It was with me a Day of sorrowful Contritions, and Sacrifices.

At length, I obtained some encouraging and comfortable Symptoms of my having the Sentence of Death upon me for my sin taken off, in my having my soul quickened unto Acts of living unto God.

A wretched Family in my Neighbourhood, having hurt me, with cursed Lyes raised upon me, revenging on me a Provocation which they had received from the Zeal of my Father, against an Error committed by them. This was a Matter of my Supplications; that my conduct may be wise, good, humble, patient, and fruitful, on such an Occasion.

I carried all my Concerns unto the Lord: especially, the Præparations which He has helped me to make for the Press; and particularly, what I have sent beyond-sea.

And I cried unto Him, for His Fulfilment of that gracious Word, I will pour out my Spirit upon all Flesh.

I also beg'd of the gracious God, that He would communicate those Things to me, which might render me a Great Benefactor to Mankind.

But so managed my Petitions, that they may not still terminate in Self.

* 24. G. D. And this is a Point of Piety, which I would grow exceeding accurate and circumspect in the Study of. I would examine my Petitions unto God; and see to it, that God and not Self, be the Chief end wherein they terminate.

25. G. D. There are some Cases, which I do well more particularly to consider, in the public Prayers wherewith I serve the Flock, in the weekly Sacrifices.

26. G. D. For a Bed-Book, out of which to read some Entertainment for my Consort, in the Morning, I propose, the Suspiria in Egardus.

27. G. D. Another Visit unto an aged Father-in-Law at Charlestown.