represent them before the Lord, I was greatly straitened in spirit, and found myself justly deserted by that sacred agent whom I have so often grieved. Besides that, bodily indisposition, on account of a cold, added to my deadness, and concurred to deprive me of much of that pleasure I might otherwise have hoped for. I then prayed for further grace, and referred to God that dear and important concern which will speedily be determined, and with it, in all probability, much of my future views of happiness in life. I then read some excellent things in Baxter, about conquering the fear of death, with which I was more affected than by any thing that had passed before in the day. I concluded with a prayer for others, and a thanksgiving to God; after which I went and made some visits; prayed I know not how many times abroad with my sick friends, and spent the evening in writing a letter to Mrs. Clark, expounded in the family, and attended to secret devotion. I gave my pupils a devotional lecture about the improvement of time; but had no discourse with them in the afternoon about inward religion, which perhaps would have been the most proper way in which I could have employed myself, for my visits were too late. I breakfasted, which was a fault; I eat too much, and was disturbed by the conversation of my pupils. I have considered of my affairs, and am come to a determination, in the Divine strength, resolutely to attempt the reformation of all that hath been amiss. I am sensible that I deserve to be deserted of God; but I fly to him for his name's sake, for his mercy's sake, and I hope that he will magnify the riches of his grace in my pardon and salvation.

I find myself at present very much indisposed with a cold, and would humbly entreat that he would strengthen me both in the outward, and in the inward man, that my ministration in the house of God may be edifying and refreshing to his people. Amen.

Sunday, October 4, 1730.

MEDITATIONS AT THE TABLE OF THE LORD ON THE EIGHTH SACRAMENT DAY, OCT. 4, 1730.

My seventh sacrament I celebrated at

with much less satisfaction than I had ever attended that ordinance either at home or abroad, for all I then said at the table of the Lord was very defective.

This day, under great disorder, I had much more lively communion with God; yet not near so much as I could have wished. I had in the pulpit been insisting on these words, Lord, we would see Jesus. And God enabled me to discourse from them in a very serious and affectionate manner. At the Lord's table I principally fixed on these words: the sacrifices of God, are a broken heart; a broken and a contrite spirit, O God, thou wilt not despise. I observed how reasonable it was, that we should approach God at all times with brokenness of heart on account of

sin, of such aggravated sins as ours. I insisted on our obligations to God, as the God of nature. Had we used a human benefactor as we had used him, confusion would cover us. Were he the most necessary friend we had upon the earth, we should not choose to live at a perpetual distance from him: but it is not so with regard to the great God, we cannot live without him. We must return. Let it be with penitent sorrow; especially considering, that we by our sins have pierced Christ, and have injured the known and acknowledged riches of redeeming blood. Let us bless God, that the sacrifice of a broken heart may be accepted, and acknowledge, that it owes its efficacy to the blood of the Lamb of God, else our hearts had been broken as thousands more are by the strokes of Divine vengeance, and we had been plunged low into the pit of everlasting destruction. In breaking the bread I remarked, when the angels saw this act, though they had no immediate concern in it, yet, surely, they were filled with admiration and love, and perhaps might reflect, "How will the children of men be

touched by it! Henceforward heaven will be peopled apace! For the love of a dying Redeemer must surely conquer the hardest heart." Blessed angels! how were you mistaken! we can behold it with little concern, or, if touched with it at all, shall perhaps in a few hours forget it. In distributing the wine, I said, let not such a thought arise in any heart as this 'my sins are so great, that I fear Christ will not forgive them, or that his blood cannot cleanse them.' God forbid! Make but a believing application to it, and Thy sins are forgiven thee, let them be ever so great. In the prayer I observed, shall we offend thee, O God, if after all that is past we presume to call thee our reconciled Father? Shall we not rather offend thee, if we do not call thee so? If we doubt whether the blood of thy Son has merit enough to restore us to thy favour?

I solemnly renewed my covenant against all sin, especially that which most easily besets me. I engaged to a greater diligence in self-examination; to greater constancy, especially in evening prayer; to greater attention in singing God's praises. And I humbly referred to the divine disposal that important event on which so much of the happiness and the usefulness of my future life depends.

SOME ACCOUNT OF THE BUSINESS DESPATCHED SINCE LAST SACRAMENT DAY, AND OF THAT WHICH I PROPOSE BEFORE THE NEXT.

THOUGH I met with a great many interruptions this month, especially from journeys, besides occasional visits made in the neighbouring villages, yet I must acknowledge that my academical business has gone on pretty well, even though it was hindered in part by the horserace, while I was at home. We have ended trigonometry, and made some considerable progress in mechanics. We have begun logic; though in that we have read but one lecture. With the lower class I have ended algebra, and most of the

two books of Euclid; I have read with them some of Isocrates in Greek, and of Virgil's Georgics in Latin. I have given them a devotional lecture on the Improvement of Time.

In the congregation I have visited the sick with diligence; but have despatched little of the review which I proposed to take for a catalogue of the children and servants, I will visit my people as regularly as I can, and will particularly endeavour to take more time for it than I have of late done, getting out for that purpose something earlier in an afternoon.

As a student, with a view of improving my lectures, I will review Wilkins and Wells; I will also read Oldfield's Essay on Human Reason, and Browne on the Extent of the Human Understanding; I will finish my Vocabulary in Hebrew, contract the logical references, and write out the first twelve sentences in Hebrew; and if I possibly can, I hope also to read Shackford's Connexion, making proper extracts from it, and the rest of the Ajax of Sophocles. And for devotional writers, besides Pearson's Exposition, about forty pages of Cradock; Owen, to p. 320; Baxter of Judgment; Tillotson of Truth and Error; Bates's Funeral Sermon for Queen Mary, and of the Love and the Blessing of God. I fear I shall hardly accomplish all this; I am sure I shall not if I do not exert greater resolution than I have this morning shown in laying aside unnecessary and impertinent study.

Monday, Oct. 5, 1730.

MEDITATIONS ON THE NINTH SACRAMENT DAY,

NOVEMBER, 1730.

THE first subject of meditation was, Blessed are they that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God. In every sense they are blessed. After taking the bread I observed, blessed are they who live in the Gospel day, and receive

the common entertainments of life as subjects of the Redeemer's kingdom. Blessed are they who are called to the table of the Lord to eat the flesh of the Son of God, and to drink his blood. Blessed above all are they that feed upon it above in another manner, and that dwell for ever with God there. Their enjoyments are not interrupted like ours with worldly cares, and by the working of inbred corruption. How many of our friends, once with us at this table, are now there. Let us rejoice in it, and be longing to follow them. Do this in remembrance of Christ. [When breaking the bread]-Lord, we hope we can appeal to thee, we would remember thee, and enjoy ourselves most when we remember thee most. Would God grant us our request, it should be this, that we might live in the constant remembrance of Christ. Eat it with bitter herbs. The sacrifices of God are broken hearts. He gives it, therefore we will accept it. [Before filling the cup]— would we retract our engagement, if God would give it us back again? In the prayer I adored God for all his blessings, for Himself, his Son, his Spirit, and Heaven, and cheerfully engaged to covenant duties. Thus we should commemorate the death of Christ, but remember him as a risen Redeemer.

A SCHEME OF BUSINESS FOR THOSE WEEKS IMMEDIATELY PRECEDING THE VACATION AT CHRISTMAS, 1730.

A SUMMONS, which I have just received from my Uncle Hankins requires my attendance at Upton about three weeks hence. I have been laying a scheme for the business I am to endeavour to despatch in the meantime. And it -stands as follows:

With my pupils of the upper class I propose to end conic sections. With those of the lower, to the end of the fourth, and, if possible, of the fifth book of Euclid. With both I will end the first book of Logic; and, if I have one morning to spare, I will in that give them a devotional lecture.