"jellies and sweet-meats, &c. whilst "the fervant went to inform his mif"trefs, the captain began to take a "furvey of the furniture, which, be

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ing very neat and elegant, made "him ftare with wonder; unfortu"nately for him, there was a large ' looking-glass, which, inclining from "the upper part, gave a full view of "his whole perfon; the captain, who "had never seen any part of his own

figure in a glafs fince the day he "was chriftened, nor indeed any "more of his face than was fufficient "to fhave himself, which he did once "a month at leaft, knew no more of "his own person than he did of the "cham of Tartary; therefore, perceiving an odd dreft fellow ftaring

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ftrangely at him, he was rather puz"zled, and walked up haftily to fee

"who

"who it was; whether the glafs prov"ed to be nigher than he thought, "or his oak ftick ftuck out further "from under his arm than he expect"ed, I know not, but the head of "the ftick faluted the glafs fo rough

ly, that being very carelefly hung, "it brought it down to the ground, " and broke it all to pieces: amazed "at the mischief he had done, he

clapt himself down into an arm"chair in such a hurry, that he made "the back and belly of a guitar 66 meet, this caufed him to recover "his legs as nimbly as if he had fquatted upon the point of a cobler's

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ઃઃ

"awl, and turning brifkly round to "fee what made fuch a lamentable "crash, with the fweep of his but❝tock he overset the table, and fent "both it and the defert-glaffes all to

"the

"the ground together. The captain "then thought the devil muft be in "the houfe, where a man could not "move without doing mifchief, and "was ftanding in amaze, wifhing "himfelf at fea in a form, when in "came the lady, who, beholding "fuch a ftrange fcene, naturally thought the keeper of bedlam had given a day-rule to one of the co

legians to come and plague her; "and the uncommon figure, and

ftrange wild looks of the falt-water "animal, quite confirmed her in her "fufpicion; this ftruck her as dumb "as the captain, and produced a filent "fcene of aftonishment far beyond "the power of defcription.

"Had Mr. Garrick himfelf been there, he would have frankly own

2

"ed,

ed, that amazing fine attitude of "his in Romeo and Juliet, which fo "much exceeds every thing the world. "ever faw before, or perhaps ever "will again, is no more to be com"pared to the captain's aftonished "phiz, than a two-penny lobfter to "a Greenland whale."

"The lady not daring to take her eyes off the gazing captain, for fear "he fhould make a fpring at her, " he in return ftared with all his might at her; at last (however improbable the ladies may think it,) "the captain found his tongue first,

66

..

and began thus: "Coufin," fays "he; coufin! thinks fhe; aye this "must be a coufin Tom fure enough;

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upon which, fquinting to the door, "which was luckily left open, the "whipped

"whipped out, and, drawing it after "her, turned the key for fear coufin Tom fhould follow her; "then running up ftairs, fummoned "the fervants to know who let that "madman in; the footman proved "the culprit, at whom fhe let drive "tooth and nail for not knowing a "madman; "Lord! madam," fays "the fellow very innocently, "they fay "half of the men and women in town "are mad, fo how can I know them "all; befides, he asked for his coufin.

"Why, blockhead!" fays madam, "ten times more angry at this speech "than ever, "all the mad folks in "bedlam are coufin Toms and cou"fin Bettys; why the man told

you at first he was a madmen, and "ftill you must let him in; but go and