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ed to the fhins, and a yard of black ribbon to the wrift; but, whilft the fmarting pain of the brandy affected John's feelings, he formed the bloodieft scheme of revenge that ever entered into a chriftian's heart or head; and, what is worse, carried it into immediate execution: pain brought his courage from all quarters, and away the scattered particles marched to the heart, united in a compact body as large as a pin's head; he inftantly provided himself with a piece of packthread and a gimblet," and, venturing down ftairs, blew his nose, to give them notice he was coming, he found they had taken the hint, and had left the field of battle; on which, John, not doubting but the fiell of the straw, which he fuppofed they had been fucking, for the fake of the favour

flavour the hams had left, would tempt them again, he carefully put the head on the cafk, and fupported it with a piece of wood, to which he tied his ftring, and carried the end of it through a hole he made in the door; then, turning the lock, put the key into his pocket,

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CHA P. X.

Dreadful doings continued.

LL night did this John lie awake, poring on his scheme of revenge; but I must do him the justice to think, that the direful part of the plot must have been conceived when the brandy on his fhins was making him grin like an Afri

VOL. IV.

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can

can man-tyger ;-elfe, in cold blood, I still am of opinion, (notwithstanding appearances) that he was too humane a man, to let fuch a direful thought take poffeffion of his breaft : but, be that as it may; by day-light he arofe, and, ftealing foftly down without his fhoes, drew the fatal ftring, and fecured no less than forty prifoners.

Here was a coup de main for you! here was a quick recovery of his credit! Homer feems to think, the greatest inftance a man can give of his courage, is to head a chosen band in ambuscade; but our hero not only planned an ambufcade, but executed it alone, and took forty prifoners at a jerk. 6

Let

Let then his precipitate retreat be for ever forgotten; let a veil be drawn over the involuntary flip of fo great a man; and let no traces remain in your memory, that such a degrading accident could poffibly ever happen to the renowned John,

To fhew my reader, I advance nothing about Homer and his ambus cades, in this my authentic history of two-legged animals, I shall give you a literal tranflation of that part of Achilles's fpeech to Agamemnon, where he reproaches him for cowardice, by hinting, that he never had the courage to lie in ambush.

Before I indulge you with the quotation, it is neceffary you should understand, that the goddess of wif G 2

dom

dom had that instant been paying a vifit to Achilles, to defire him not to drub his general, for that would be a very bad example to future times; as fhe plainly forefaw, that if every cowardly general was liable to be drubbed, when he deferved it, instead of bribing and pimping to be made generals, few great men would accept the post; and then the church would be overloaded with lack-learning quality; fhe, therefore made him put up his tool of revenge, but left him his tongue at full liberty, which privilege the women, with great reason, have claimed ever fince,

This fame goddess of wisdom, whose name is pretty well known in England, though the herself hath not been amongst us for feveral years,

after

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