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THE

WESLEYAN-METHODIST MAGAZINE.

APRIL, 1847.

BIOGRAPHY.

MEMOIR OF MRS. CATHERINE LOUISA JOLL:

BY HER HUSBAND, THE REV. JOHN M. JOLI.

As Mrs. Joll was accustomed, from an early period of her life, to record her religious experience, my task will be the comparatively easy one of selection from her journal. I shall endeavour to extract those portions which will most clearly illustrate her Christian character, and thus be most likely to prove interesting and beneficial to the readers of that Magazine for the pages of which this compilation is designed.

She was the daughter of John and Elizabeth Cliffe, who resided at Flintham, in the Newark Circuit. She was born there on the 20th of January, 1808. Mr. Cliffe was a respectable farmer, and though he had not joined the Wesleyan society, yet for many years the Ministers of that section of Christ's church, when they visited Flintham, found a home in his house. Catherine experienced religious impressions at an early period of her life. She was only thirteen years old when she began to keep the journal to which I have adverted. It thus commences; and the simplicity of its language, and the evident sincerity with which she expresses her feelings, will more deeply impress the reader than any elaborate description could do :--

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January 20th, 1821.-This is my birth-day. O how painful is the reflection that thirteen years of my life have been so ill spent! This day I resign myself unto the Lord. This morning I refused an invitation to tea, where I knew that cards would be introduced, knowing that time is too valuable to be wasted.

"21st.-I think I feel a growing desire to serve God. I have some faith when I pray; but what I want is, the evidence that my sins are forgiven. I have laid down the following plan for my devotional and other reading, which I hope to be enabled to observe :-One chapter in the New Testament before I go down stairs in the morning, and one when I return to rest. After tea, read, in my own room, some of Mrs. Cooper's Life, write in my journal, and pray to God to set my soul at liberty. When I can, I will retire after dinner and learn a hymn. After supper, take Goldsmith's History of England and Geography.

"March 4th.-I am very unhappy on account of my sins. I have lately read accounts of the life and death of several children, all of

VOL. III.-FOURTH SERIES.

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whom had obtained forgiveness. Yet I feel as though my sins could never be forgiven. But all things are possible to the mercy of God. April 8th.--This has been truly a good Sabbath. O bless my adorable Lord! I feel as I never felt before. I am so happy! I have been exceedingly sorrowful; but my sorrow is turned into joy. I praise God that, through his grace, I am enabled to believe in my Saviour. O that I had found this heavenly treasure sooner!

"18th.-Last evening I accompanied my mother to class-meeting. I hope I have fully considered the responsibility of thus joining myself to a Christian society.

"June 24th.-On Thur day some girls in the street began to call me a Methodist. I only wished I might deserve that honourable name. Such reproach, I trust, I shall be enabled to bear.

"July 22d.-I have been at Newark, and heard a lecture on astronomy. While I was much pleased, I hope I experienced religious benefit. 6 Lord, what is man, that thou art mindful of him, or the son of man, that thou visitest him?' Thou art always ready to hear our cry, great as thou art.

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September 16th.-Last Wednesday I received my first ticket from Mr. Dalby. What a charge have I to fulfil!

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January 20th, 1822.—I am this day fourteen years old. How different is the state of my heart from what it was on my last birthday! The good Spirit of God was then striving with me; but now, glory be to God alone, I can praise redeeming love. O Lord Jesus, thou diedst for me; yes, thou diedst for me.

"March 31st.--Will my ears ever be gladdened by the sound of praise from my father's lips? Thou canst break even the stony heart. Do this, O my God; and forget not my brothers and sisters.

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May 11th, 1823.-Blessed be the name of the God I serve! This day he has graciously visited me. I cannot doubt his power and will to keep me rejoicing evermore. I cannot express my joy in God my Saviour. Yes, he is my Saviour; washing me in his precious blood, and saving me from all my sins.

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August 3d, 1824.-O how great is God's goodness! Where shall I begin to praise him? What language shall I use to extol his power and love? Yesterday I received a rich and abundant blessing. While praying, and endeavouring to ask in faith, my soul seemed to be filled with God. O what heavenly light and joy! I could say, I love God with all my heart and mind and soul and strength. I feel such hatred to sin, and such gracious power to resist it, that it seems as if, knowingly, I could not commit it. My confidence is increasingly strong. And even if, through unwatchfulness, I should not, unhappily, retain the grace which I now experience, still, the truth would remain, and this notice would witness against me, that I possess it

now.

"15th.-Many times this week has the subtle adversary sought to cast me down, and to cause me rather to look to myself than to the 'Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world;' but I have been kept by the power of God. While earnestly praying this evening for yet more grace, the intercourse was so graciously opened, that words fail to express the foretaste I had of that fulness of bliss which they that endure to the end shall enjoy. All that I had before received

was surpassed by this gracious visitation. Such was my purity of Jehovah, that I was filled with awe before him. hope to unite with those around the throne, who cry, holy, is the Lord of hosts!'

view of the One day I Holy, holy,

"January 23d, 1825.-After the lapse of seventeen weeks, during which I have passed through heavy personal affliction, I once more take up my pen to record the goodness of God. It was thought that I could not live; but Providence has appointed otherwise. I am yet alive, and my earthly duties still call for attention, while, at the same time, I seek to be yet more fully made meet for the inheritance of the saints in light.' In my affliction Jesus was my Saviour. Never was

I able to rely more steadfastly on him, and on him alone, for acceptance with God.

"March 19th.-I think we should not only have faith while actually engaged in prayer, but that afterwards, also, we should cultivate a waiting, expecting frame of mind, looking for answers in the progress of grace in the soul.

"March 12th, 1826.—I can sincerely say, 'Hail, sacred day of rest!' The all-wise God well knew how much his creatures would need frequent and regular cessation from worldly cares, that so the interests of the soul might be attended to and advanced.

"16th. How varied is the Christian's experience! At one time we are strong in the Lord, triumphing in his salvation; at another, the enemy of souls is permitted to assail us, and we are almost ready to give up our hope. When we measure ourselves by the perfect standard, we see so great a disparity, that we are almost ready to conclude that we belong not to Christ. Will God, the eternal God, indeed condescend to dwell in my soul? But I praise him, I feel beyond a doubt that God, my God, inhabits here. Yesterday morning, when viewing the wonders of creation, I could not help blessing God aloud when I thought, 'My Father made them all.' But it is when I contemplate that mystery of mysteries, redeeming love, that my soul is most abundantly blessed. It was the knowledge of my Redeemer, and of my own interest in him, that so greatly heightened my joy, even when beholding the greatness and beauty of

creation.

"October 8th.-I have been a fortnight from home; but though, in this sense, unsettled, I would be thankful that I was preserved from distraction of spirit, and that I enjoyed more than usual communion with God. I have derived much profit from the 'Life of Mr. Fletcher.' I was deeply impressed with the danger of seeking heaven by an easier path than that true one trodden by that holy man, and those who are like him. I much lament my deficiency in Christian forbearance. When opposed by others, I too easily fall into a similar spirit. This is like bringing Satan to fight against Satan. The impetuosity of my natural temper thus becomes a hinderance. I must always remember that the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. O my God, help me to learn wisdom by past folly! Let me be wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove !

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January 14th, 1827.-This morning at class, I expressed my desire that my God would supply all my need; and the Class-Leader said, with emphasis, He will, if you ask him.' It was a word in season. I felt that God was indeed ready to fulfil my desires. When

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