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tinued, until within a short period of her death. From this document a few extracts will now be given.

"Sept. 3d, 1833.-It has for some time been my intention to commence a diary; but I have always, till now, delayed, thinking that I had nothing worth recording; but I am now determined to begin, hoping it may be the means of humbling me, and exciting me to greater diligence. The Lord has now guided me for sixteen years; and I have indeed cause to praise him, that I am placed in such happy circumstances, being blessed with the kindest parents, together with three affectionate sisters, and every earthly comfort that I require.

'Not more than others I deserve,

But Thou hast given me more.'

May I, in return, give myself to Thee! O shed thy love abroad in my heart, and give me a sense of pardon, the witness of the Spirit, testifying that I am a child of God, accepted through Christ! This is my earnest prayer; and I am resolved never to rest until I know my sins forgiven, and can rejoice in a pardoning God. I am blessed with many privileges, may I value and improve them! We are now favoured with the ministry of the Rev. V. Ward, a powerful and excellent Preacher. On Sunday last, I was much profited by his sermon on the 'new birth.' A few weeks ago, I became a candidate for admission into the Methodist society, and joined Mr. R. Wilson's class. I now see that it is a great privilege to meet among the people of God. I used to think that a person might be quite as good without this; but now my views are materially altered.

"9th.-I have been hearing the Rev. N. Barr for the first time. O Lord, grant that his preaching may be made a great blessing to this town and neighbourhood! Help me to guard against a criticising disposition! I have resolved neither to ask nor to answer such questions as, 'How do you like the Preacher?' What do you think of him? We should receive our Ministers as those who are employed by Christ to declare his will for our salvation.

“10th.-I have received a note of admission into the Wesleyan society from Mr. Ward. May I never depart from the right way, but always continue to meet with God's people!"

In the course of the same month, she says:— "I have to state with shame, that this morning I arose so late, that I had not time to attend to my private duties. I went to chapel, and heard Mr. Barr: his subject was prayer. One part of his discourse was very applicable to myself. He said that there was, perhaps, some one in the congregation who had that morning neglected private prayer. I felt much condemned. May it never be my case again!"

"Oct. 16th.-I desire to be thankful to God for his mercy in sparing me another year. What a solemn thought! I am another year nearer to eternity. May the year on which I am now entering be the best I have ever spent! It may be the last. On Sunday I heard the Rev. F. A. West. I esteem him much. When he was in this Circuit, he held a weekly meeting for young persons, which did much good.

"26th. I think I am beginning to know more of myself. I see the depravity of my heart, and feel my own weakness more and more. I cannot do anything of myself; and my heart is so deceitful, I yield too much to levity and foolish conversation. I am also much harassed

by wandering thoughts, while engaged in prayer. Ah! I must be more in earnest: religion is the one thing needful. I shall soon have done with this world: may I be enabled to prepare for another! I have often thought that I shall not live long; and I have not yet obtained a sense of pardon. Lord, what keeps me from this? I know that it is my privilege, and that thou art willing to impart it: help me to be more importunate in prayer!

6

"April, 1834.-I am much cast down to-day, through not being able to attend the chapel on account of indisposition. Mr. M'Lean, from Sheffield, preaches, and I had a great desire to hear. However, I must bear the providential disappointment. When I first became ill, I was alarmed, feeling that I was not prepared to die. I was in some measure enabled to lift up my heart to God, and he graciously supported and comforted me; but I was never so fully convinced of the folly and danger of putting off the concerns of the soul to a death-bed. If the head be affected with pain, and the mental energies impaired, it is difficult to have to labour earnestly in prayer for acceptance with God. Life is the time to serve the Lord, and especially youth. It has pleased God to raise me up, and I am determined to seek to be devoted entirely to him. I am reading Mr. Wesley's 'Journal.' What a laborious and devoted man he must have been! I am thankful that such was the Founder of Methodism. I love the Methodists, and am glad that I have joined them. I trust that the Lord is deepening his work in my heart. I can exercise more faith, and feel more freedom, in prayer; but I am afraid of deceiving myself and others. Lift up on me the light of thy countenance more clearly; remove all my doubts; with clearer light thy witness bear.' It is a little time ago since I was enabled to believe that the Lord had pardoned all my sins, and accepted me for Christ's sake; but I cannot refer to the time and place of receiving the blessing with the same confidence which 1 know that many persons express; and on this account I have been kept back from either writing or professing it. The change was not so evident as it has been in some others; and thus I often doubted its reality, just as I doubted the genuineness of my repentance, because my sorrow was not so deep and distressing as it is in most persons. I cannot remember the time when I had not serious impressions; and, my health being delicate, I often thought I should die young, and therefore endeavoured to fear and love God. For years I went on determining and vowing, then breaking my resolutions,-sometimes forgetting them altogether: and never was I truly decided. I often wept in secret on account of my sins; then, again, I began to pray, and be more in earnest. Thus I continued, until the Lord graciously deepened my serious impressions, and I felt determined to seek him with my whole heart. The Rev. F. A. West was the instrument of doing me much good by his prayers and conversations.* After I left school, I joined the society, and determined to seek until I found the pardoning love of God. Mr. Wilson kindly encouraged me. One evening at class I was much blessed. I had been harassed with doubts and fears; but these were all removed; I felt I could believe that Christ died for me. For a time I

She was a member of a catechetical class of young persons, met by Mr. West, when at Newcastle, and is a striking evidence of the utility of such institutions, and the propriety of their extension.

felt happy in the love of God; but the feeling was not permanent. I had previously often enjoyed the means of grace, felt freedom in prayer, and possessed some comfort; and now I thought that what I had experienced was only an increase of what I had had before: and thus, for some time, I was much distressed; but, praise the Lord, now my confidence is increased, and, though I hold it with a trembling hand, I will not let it go."

From this period, up to the middle of the year 1838, Mrs. Wilford's journal bears evident testimony of her growth in grace, and of her increase in the knowledge and love of God. Our extracts will now refer to a subsequent period.

"Dec., 1838.—I have been at Darlington a little while, and was privileged with the company of Mr. M'Lean. He visited Newcastle a few years ago; and I shall never forget the benefit I received under one of his sermons. I never felt a more ardent desire than at present to possess a greater measure of the love of God.

A point my good, a drop my store,

Eager I ask,-I pant for more.'

"March 29th, 1839.-I thank God for the calm, settled peace I enjoy, through believing in Christ. This day is set apart for the commemoration of his death. O, his great love in dying for sinners! How strange that our hearts are generally so cold and insensible to it!

'My Saviour, how shall I proclaim,

How pay the mighty debt I owe?
Let all I have, and all I am,
Ceaseless to all thy glory show.'

I am thankful that I feel I can claim an interest for myself in his death. O let me now feel a fresh application of his atoning blood!"

Without extracting anything from her diary between the last date and the latter end of the following year, it may yet be said that she continued to record her Christian experience, and her views and feelings in reference to the various events through which she passed. In the June of 1839 she was married to Mr. Wilford; and the manner in which she prospectively speaks of this important union proves that she endeavoured to acknowledge God in all her ways. She seeks constantly for divine guidance, and expresses her desire to follow the plain openings of Providence. When married, she removed to Northallerton. We shall now continue our extracts.

66

Sept. 30th, 1839.—I have of late been striving to live nearer to God. I have felt my soul more drawn out in prayer, and have been enabled to plead more earnestly and effectually in it. May he help me, and keep me humble and sincere! I lament that I am of so little use in the church. My husband has been suggesting a plan for my visiting frequently the poor members of our society, for the purpose of having religious conversation, and urging them to attend more regularly the means of grace. I feel myself too young and inexperienced for such a work, too weak to help others; moreover, the cross is great, as they are all comparatively strangers to me; but I will, the Lord being my helper, make the attempt. The following verses express my feelings and desires :

'Summon'd my labour to renew,

And glad to act my part,' &c.

"Feb., 1840.-During the last week, I have been praying for an increase of faith, and have experienced the truth of that promise: Ask, and ye shall receive.' I have not felt my mind in such a comfortable state for some time; my peace and joy have abounded, and I can repose stronger confidence in God, and dare hope that, in a severe trial that awaits me, he will be with me to comfort and sustain me; and if it be his will to take me to himself, I trust he will prepare me fully for that solemn change, give me grace for a dying hour, and make me meet to be a partaker of the joy and happiness of heaven.

"20th. I had a most profitable class-meeting last night: truly was the Lord in our midst, and gave us each a blessing. O that our class may prosper! Help me to seek and strive for a greater measure of religion myself; let me not be content with a taste,-with skimming the surface, but endeavour to sink into the very depths of humble love!

"March 10th.-How do I reproach myself! After all the Lord's gracious dealings with me, my heart is cold, my affections less ardent, and my faith weaker than some time ago. It is my unwatchfulness that has caused this. I have been slothful in performing my spiritual duties, and have shrunk from taking up my cross. O God, once more forgive thy erring child! Thy mercy is not clean gone for ever. thou delightest to bless. O, pity me! Thou invitest me to return, and I will. My soul cannot be at rest till it finds rest in thee: my body is weak, and my spirits low: endue me with patience, and strengthen me.

No;

“29th.-On account of indisposition I am obliged to be much absent from the public means of grace. Sometimes a murmuring spirit arises for a moment, when I think how long I must suffer this deprivation. I know, however, that this is not right. God is not confined to his temple: we may enjoy his presence in our own souls at home. I have derived much profit from reading his word. The promises are encouraging and comforting. A passage in Isaiah, upon which I accidentally opened, has been particularly precious to me: 'When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee,' &c. This was just what I wanted; and I dare believe that I, even I, shall experience its fulfilment.

"June.-Through the abundant mercy and love of God, I am spared; and now, with a truly thankful heart, I would record his dealings with me. In the time of sore trouble he helped me he was my comfort in the hour of sorrow. On May 16th, I was enabled to look up to heaven, and cast my soul as into the arms of divine mercy. Those words of our precious hymn, Jesu, lover of my soul,' &c., were a support and blessing to me; and I believe, had the Lord seen fit to summon my spirit into another world, it would have been sudden death, sudden glory.

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"Jan. 10th, 1841.-During the last two or three days of the old year I was much dissatisfied with my state of mind. Upon asking myself, 'Am I prepared, if I should be called to die?' I could not answer in the affirmative. I resolved to begin afresh; but I seemed to have very little faith. On New-Year's-day our worthy Minister proposed a tea-meeting for members of the society only; and such a meeting I never attended. After tea, we had singing and prayer, and then held a band-meeting. Many of the members spoke and prayed in reference to the blessing of entire sanctification, and to a general revival. Truly,

God was in our midst; and I believe there was not a soul present who did not experience a divine influence; and some were especially blessed. I felt my soul warmed and drawn out after God, and was enabled to look up and claim a renewed token of my acceptance. My hardness was subdued, and I wept and prayed. Afterwards, we had prayermeetings twice a day, for about a week. Sometimes I felt comforted; at other times my mind was so clouded, that I even almost despaired of mercy. Thus I continued until the last special meeting which was held; then my heart was melted; and while earnestly pleading, I was fully comforted. The words of our poet were sweetly applied to my mind,

'He ever lives above,

For me to intercede;
His all-redeeming love,

His precious blood, to plead.'

O, what a delightful view I had of Christ my Saviour, bearing away my sins, and casting them as into the depths of the sea! O, what love I felt for Christ! and I had such a sense of the love of God to all the world, that I could not but praise him, and cry,—

The arms of love that compass me

Would all mankind embrace.'

My dear husband was my encourager and helper. He knows my disposition well, and has often been very useful to me. May we go hand in hand to heaven, watching over each other, and warning and reproving as there may be need.

"February 21st.-Since I last wrote, what a change has taken place in our family circle! It has pleased the Lord to take to himself our dear father, Mr. Wilford, who has been many years a pious and useful member and officer in the church here. This has been to us all a heavy trial. May it be sanctified to each member of the family! I bless God for the composure in which he met death, as well as for the comforting aid he experienced during his affliction, and for the cheering hope that his spirit is now near the throne, in company with saints and angels. He has won the victory. May we follow him as he followed Christ!

"January, 1842.-I would be Thine: O help me! I earnestly desire to experience a closer communion with God. May I be more deeply imbued with divine love; and in every thought, word, and act, be a follower of my heavenly Lord. I have now more ties to earth; but I wish to have my affections in subjection, and to love my God supremely. I feel the responsibility that devolves upon me. I need firm perseverance, uniform consistency, patience, and much wisdom and grace to guide and govern my family aright.”

In the course of the same month, the family removed to Newcastle; and in her journal she frequently refers with great pleasure to her reunion with her relations and friends, as well as to the increased religious privileges which she was thus enabled to possess.

"March, 1842.-I have had a loud call to be ready. Another tie to earth is broken. My affectionate sister-in-law, Eliza, has been suddenly removed from us. 'In the midst of life we are in death.' How wise and necessary to secure our soul's salvation! I have lost a kind friend. O that I may meet her in heaven, and that my end may be as peaceful as hers! We have often talked of death, and of the occupation of the saints above. Now, her spirit mingles with them. I often think I shall not live long: I have pains which indicate disease.

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