Roman and Greek Grammarians! know your Better:
Author or fomething yet more great than Letter*
While tow'ring o'er your Alphabet like Saul †,
Stands our Digamma, and o'ertops them all.
'Tis true, on Words is ftill our whole debate,
Difputes of Me or Te, of aut or at,

To found or fink in cano O or A,

Or give up Cicero to C or K ||.

Let Friend§ affect to speak as Terence spoke,
And Alfop § never but like Horace joke :
For me, what Virgil, Pliny would deny,
Manilius or Solinus fhall fupply **:
For Attic Phrafe in Plato let them feek,
I poach in Suidas for unlicens'd Greek.

220

225

In

Alluding to thofe Grammarians, fuch as Palamedes and Simonides, who invented fingle letters. But Ariftarchus, who had found out a double one, was therefore worthy of double honour. SCRIBL.

† Alludes to the boasted restoration of the Eolic Digamma, in his longprojected Edition of Homer. He calls it famething more than Letter, from the enormous figure it would make among the other letters, being one Gamma fet upon the fhoulders of another.

It was a ferious difpute, about which the learned were much divided, and fome treatifes written: Had it been about Meum and Tuum it could not be more contefted, than whether at the end of the first Ode of Horace, to read Me doftarum bede æ præmia frontium, or, Te doftarum bederæ.--By this the learned fcholiaft would feem to infinuate that the difpute was not about Meum and Tuum, which is a mistake: For, as a venerable fage obferveth, Words. are the countrs of Wife-men, but the money of fools; fo that we fee their property was indeed concerned. SCRIBL.

Grammatical difputes about the manner of pronouncing Cicero's name in Greek. It is a difpute whether in Latin the name of Hermagoras should end in as or a. Quintilian quotes Cicero as writing it Hermagora, which Bentley rejects, and fays Quintilian must be mistaken, Cicero could not write it fo, and that in this cafe he would not believe Cicero himself. These are his very words: Ego vero Ciceronem ita fcripfiffe ne Ciceroni quidem affirmanti crediderim.-Epift. ad Mill. in fin. Frag. Menand, et Fbil.

§ Dr. Robert Friend, master of Westminster-school, and canon of Christchurch.-Dr. Anthony Alfop, a happy imitator of the Horatian style.

** Some critics having had it in their choice to comment either on Virgil or Manilius, Pliny or Solinus, have chofen the worfe author, the more freely to display their critical capacity.

++ The first a Dictionary writer, a collector of impertinent facts and bar

barous

230

In ancient Senfe if any needs will deal,

Be fure I give them Fragments, not a Meal;

What Gellius or Stobæus hafh'd before,

Or chew'd by blind old Scholiafts o'er and o'er *,

The critic Eye, that microscope of Wit,

See hairs and pores, examines bit by bit:

How parts relate to parts, or they to whole;
The body's harmony, the beaming foul,

235

Are things which Kufter, Burman, Waffe fhall fee,
When Man's whole frame is obvious to a Flea.

Ah, think not, Mistress +! more true Dulness lies
In Folly's Cap, than Wisdom's grave disguise.
Like buoys, that never fink into the flood,
On learning's furface we but lie and nod,
Thine is the genuine Head of many a house,
And much Divinity without a Nes .

240

Nor

barous words; the fecond a minute critic; the third an author, who gave his Common-place book to the public, where we happen to find much Mince meat of old books.

* These taking the fame things eternally from the mouth of one another. By this it appears the Dunces and Fops, mentioned verfe 139, 140, had a contention of rivalfhip for the Goddefs's favour on this great day. Thofe got the start, but these make it up by their Spokesman in the next fpeech. It seems as if Ariftarchus here first saw him advancing with his fair pupil. SCRIBL.

So that the station of a Profeffor is only a kind of legal Noticer to inform us where the battered bulk of Learning lies funk; which after fo long unhappy navigation, and now without either Mafter or Patron, we may wish, with Horace, may lie there ftill.

Nonne vides, ut

"Nudum remigio latus?.

"non tibi funt integra lintea ;

"Non Di, quo iterum preffa voces malo.

Quamvis pontica pinus,

"Sylvæ filia nobilis,

Jactes et genus, et nomen inutile."

HOR.

|| A word much affected by the learned Ariftarchus in common converfation, to fignify Genius, or natural acumen. But this paffage has a farther view. Nes was the Platonic term for Mind, or the firft caufe, and that fyl tem of Divinity is here hinted at which terminates in bli a Noc: fuch as the Poet afterwards defcribes (fpeaking o of thefe latter Platonilts)

nature withou

stream st. ef

Nor could a BARROW* work on ev'ry block,
Nor has one ATTERBURY fpoil'd the flock.
See! ftill thy own, the heavy Cannon + roll,
And Metaphyfic fmokes involve the Pole.
For thee we dim the eyes, and ftuff the head
With all fuch reading as was never read :
For thee explain a thing till all men doubt it,
And write about it, Goddess, and about it:
So fpins the filk-worm fmall its flender store,
And labours till it clouds itself all o'er.
What tho' we let fome better fort of fool ||
Thridev'ry fcience, run thro' ev'ry school?

"Or that bright Image to our Fancy draw,
"Which Theocles in raptur'd Vision faw,

That Nature-etc."

245

250

255

Never

* Ifaac Barrow, Master of Trinity, Francis Atterbury Dean of Christchurch, both great Geniufes and eloquent Preachers; one more converfant in the fublime Geometry, the other in Claffical Learning; but who equally made it their care to advance the polite Arts in their feveral Societies.

Canon here, if spoken of Artillery, is in the plural number; if of the Canons of the Houfe, in the fingular, and meant only of one in which cafe I fufpe&t the Pole to be a falfe reading, and that it fhould be the Pull or Head of that Canon. It may be objected, that this is a mere Paranomafia or Pur, But what of that? Is any figure of speech more appofite to our gentle Goddefs, or more frequently used by her and her children, especially of the University? Doubtless it better fuits the Character of Dulnes, yea of a Doctor, than that of an Angel; yet Milton feared not to put a confide-able quantity into the mouths of his. It hath indeed been obferved, that they were the Devil's Angels, as if he did it to fuggeft the Devil was the Author as well of falie Wit, as of falfe Religion, and that the Father of Lies was alfo the Father of Puns. But this is idle: It must be owned a Christian practice, used in the primitive times by fome of the Fathers, and in latter by most of the Sons of the Church; till the debauched reign of Charles the Second, when the shamelets Passion for Wit overthrew every thing and even then the best writers admitted it, provided it was obfcene, under the name of the Double catendre.

SCR BL.

Here the learned Ariftarchus ending the first member of his Harangue in behalf of Words, and entering on the other half, which regards the teaching of Things, very artfully connects the two parts in an encomium on MɛTAPHYSICS, a kind of Middle nature between words and things: communicating, in its obfcurity, with Subftance, and, in its emptiness, with Names.

SCRIBL

Hitherto

Never by tumbler thro' the hoops was shown
Such skill in paffing all, and touching none,
He may indeed (if fober all this time)

Plague with Difpute, or perfecute with Rhyme.
We only furnish what he cannot use,

260

Or wed to what he muft divorce, a Mufe:
Full in the mid of Euclid dip at once,
And petrify a Genius * to a Dunce :
Or fet on Metaphyfic ground to prance,
Show all his paces, not a step advance.
With the fame CEMENT, ever fure to bind,
We bring to one dead level ev'ry mind.
Then take him to devellop, if you can,

And hew the Block off +, and get out the Man,

265

270 But

Hitherto Ariftarchus hath displayed the art of teaching his pupils words, without things. He fhews greater (kill in what follows, which is to teach things without profit. For with the better fort of fool the first expedient it, Ver. 254 to 258, to run him fo fwiftly th ough the circle of the Sciences that he fhall stick at nothing, nor nothing ftick with him; and though some little, both of words and things, fhould by chance be gathered up in his paffage, yet he fhews, ver 259 to 261, that it is never more of the one than just to enable him to perfecute wub Rhyme, or of the other than to plogue with Dispute. But if, after all, the Pupil will needs learn a science, it is then prcvided by his careful directors, ver, 261, 262, that it shall either be fuch as he can never enjoy when he comes out into life, or fuch as he will be obliged to divorce. And to make all fure, ver. 263 to 267, the useless or pernicious Sciences, thus taught, are fill applied perverfely; the man of Wit petrified in Euclid, or trammelled in Metaphyfics; and the man of Judgment married, without his parents confent, to a Mufe. Thus far the particular arts of medern Education, ufed partially, and diverfified according to the Subject and the Occafion: But there is one general Method, with the encomium of which the great Ariftarchus ends his fpeech, ver. 267 to 270, and that is AuTHORITY, the univerfal CEMENT, which fills the cracks and chaims of lifeless matter, fhuts up all the pores of living fubflances, and brings all human minds to ne dead level. For if Nature fhould chance to ftruggle through all the entanglements of the foregoing ingenious expedients to bind rebel wit, this claps upon her one fure and entire cover. So that well may Ariftarchus defy all human power to get the Man out again from under fo impenetrable a craft. The Poet alludes to this Mafter piece of the Schools in ver. 50r where he fpeaks of Vaffels to a name.

Thofe who have no Genius, employed in works of imagination; those who have, in abstract sciences,

But wherefore wafte 1 words? I fee advance

Whore, Pupil, and lac'd Governor + from France.
Walker! our hat-nor more he deign'd to say,
But, ftern as Ajax' fpectre, ftrode away.
In flow'd at once a gay embroider'd race,

275

And titt'ring pufh'd the Pedants off the place:

Some would have spoken, but the voice was drown'd

By the French horn, or by the op'ning hound.

The first came forwards, with as easy mien,
As if he faw St. James's and the Queen || .
When thus th' attendant Orator begun,
Receive, great Emprefs! thy accomplish'd Son:
Thine from the birth, and facred from the rod,
A dauntless infant! never fear'd with God +.

280

The

† A notion of Ariftotle, that there was originally in every block of marble, a ftatue, which would appear on the removal of fuperfluous parts. *Why lac'd? Becaufe Gold and Silver are necessary trimming to denote the drefs of a perfon of rank, and the Governor must be fuppofed fo in foreign countries, to be admitted into courts and other places of fair reception. But how comes Ariftarchus to know at fight how this Governor came from France? Know? Why, by the laced coat.

Some Critics have objected to the order here, being of opinion that the Governor fhould have the precedence before the Whore, if not before the Pupil. But were he so placed, it might be thought to infinuate that the Governor led the Pupil to the Whore, and were the Pupil placed first, he m ght be fuppofed to lead the Governor to her. But our impartial Poet, as he is drawing their picture, reprefents them in the order in which they are generally feen; namely, the Pupil between the Whore and the Governor; but placed the Whore first, as the ufual y governs both the other.

See Homer Odyss. xi. where the Ghost of Ajax turns fullenly from Ulyffes the Traveller, who had fucceeded againft him in the difpute for the arms of Achilles. There had been the fame contention between the Travelling and the Univerfity tutor, for the fpoils of our young heroes, and fashion adjufted it to the former; fo that this might well occafion the fullen dignity in departure, which Longinus fo much admired. SCRIBL.

Reflecting on the difrefpectful and indecent behaviour of feveral forward young perfons in the prefence, fo offenfive to all ferious men, and to non more than the good Scriblerus.

The Governor abovefaid. The Poet gives him no particular name; being unwilling, I prefume, to offend or to do injuftice to any, by celebrating one only with whom this character agrees, in preference to fo equally deferve it.

many who SCRIBL.