fame indulgence to lazinefs; in defending his own caufe, he pleads yours, and becomes your advocate, while he appeals to you as his judge; you will do the fame on your part; and I, and the reft of your common friends, fhall have great juftice to expect from two fuch righteous tribunals: You refemble perfectly the two alehouse-keepers in Holland, who were at the fame time burgomafters of the town, and taxed one another's bills alternately. I declare before hand I will not stand to the award; my title to your friendship is good, and wants neither deeds nor writings to confirm it; but annual acknowledgments at leaft are neceffary to preferve it: and I begin to fufpect, by your defrauding me of them, that you hope in time to difpute it, and to urge prefcription against me. I would not fay one word to you about myself (fince it is a fubject on which you appear to have no curiofity) was it not to try how far the contrast between Pope's fortune and manner of life and mine, may be carried. I have been then infinitely more uniform and lefs diffipated, than when you knew me and cared for me. That love which I used to scatter with fome profufion among the female kind, has been thefe many years devoted to one object. A great many misfortunes (for fo they are called, though fome times very improperly) and a retirement from the world, have made that juft and nice difcrimination between my acquaintance and my friends, which we have feldom fagacity enough to make for ourselves; thofe infects of various hues which used to hum and buz about me while I ftood in the funfhine, have difappeared fince I lived in the fhade. No man comes to a hermitage but for the fake of the hermit; a few philofophical friends come often to mine, and they are fuch as you would be glad to live with, if a dull climate, and duller company, have not altered you extremely from what you was nine years ago. The hoarfe voice of party was never heard in this quiet place; Gazettes and pamphlets are banished from it; and if the lucubrations of Ifaac Bickerstaff be admitted, this diftinction is owing to fome ftrokes by which it is judged that this illuftrious philofopher had (like the

Indian Fohu, the Grecian Pythagoras, the Perfian Zoroafter, and others his precurfors among the Zabians, Magians, and the Egyptian feers) both his outward and his inward doctrine, and that he was of no fide at the bottom. When I am there, I forget I ever was of any party myfelf; nay, I am often fo happily abforbed by the abstracted reafon of things, that I am ready to imagine there never was any fuch monfter as party. Alas, I am foon awakened from that pleafing dream by the Greek and Roman hiftorians, by Guicciardine, by Machiavel, and Thuanus: for I have vowed to read no hiftory of our own country, till that body of it, which you promife to finish, appears. I am under no apprehenfion that a glut of study and retirement fhould caft me back into the hurry of the world; on the contrary, the fingle regret which I ever feel is, that I fell fo late into this courfe of life; my philofophy grows confirmed by habit, and if you and I meet again, I will extort this approbation from you: Jam non confilio bonus, fed more eo perductus, ut non tantum recte facere poffim, fed nifi recte facere non poffim. The little incivilities I have met with from oppofite fets of people, have been fo far from rendering me violent or four to any, that I think myself obliged to them all; fome have cured me of my fears by fhewing me how impotent the malice of the world is; others have cured me of my hopes, by fhewing how precarious popular friendships are; all have cured me of furprize: in driving me out of party, they have driven me out of curfed company: and in ftripping me of titles, and rank, and eftate, and such trinkets, which every man that will may spare, they have given me that which no man can be happy without. Reflection and habit have rendered the world fo indifferent to me, that I am neither afflicted nor rejoiced, angry nor pleased, at what happens in it, any farther than perfonal friendships intereft me in the affairs of it, and this principle extends my cares but a little way. Perfect tranquillity is the general tenour of my life; good digeftion, ferene weather, and fome other mechanic fprings, wind me above it now and then, but I never fall below it: I

am

am fometimes gay, but never fad. I have gained new friends, and have loft fome old ones; my acquifitions of this kind give me a good deal of pleasure, because they have not been made lightly: I know no vows fo folemn as thofe of friendship, and therefore a pretty long noviciate of acquaintance fhould, methinks, precede them. My loffes of this kind give me but little trouble, I contribute nothing to them; and a friend who breaks with me unjustly is not worth preferving. As foon as I leave this town (which will be in a few days) I fhall fall back into that courfe of life which keeps knaves and fools at a great diftance from me: I have an averfion to them both, but in the ordinary courfe of life I think I can bear the fenfible knave better than the fool. One muft indeed, with the former, be in fome or other of the attitudes of those wooden men whom I have seen before a fword-cutler's fhop in Germany: but even in these conftrained postures the witty rafcal will divert me; and he that diverts me does me a great deal of good, and lays me under an obligation to him, which I am not obliged to pay in another coin: the fool obliges me to be almost as much upon my guard as the knave; and he makes me no amends; he numbs me like the torpor, or he teazes me like a fly. This is the picture of an old friend, and more like him than that will be which you once asked, and which he will fend you if you continue ftill to defire it. Adieu, dear Swift: with all thy faults, I love thee intirely; make an effort, and love me on with all mine.

$138. Dr. SWIFT to Lord BOLING § 138. Dr. SWIFT to Lord BOLING

BROKE.

Dublin, April 5, 1729. I do not think it could be poffible for me to hear better news than that of your getting over your fcurvy fuit, which always hung as a dead weight on my heart; I hated it in all its circumftances, as it affected your fortune and quiet, and in a fituation of life that must make it every way vexatious. And as I am infinitely obliged to you for the juftice you do me in fuppofing your affairs do at least concern me as much as my own, fo I would never have pardoned your

omitting it. But before I go on, I cannot forbear mentioning what I read laft fummer in a news-paper, that you were writing the hiftory of your own times. I fuppofe fuch a report might arife from what was not a fecret among your friends, of your intention to write another kind of hiftory, which you often promifed Mr. Pope and me to do; I know he defires it very much, and I am fure I defire nothing more, for the honour and love I bear you, and the perfect knowledge I have of your public virtue. My lord, I have no other notion of economy than that it is the parent of liberty and eafe, and I am not the only friend you have who hath chid you in his heart for the neglect of it, though not with his mouth, as I have done. For there is a filly error in the world, even among friends otherwise very good, not to intermeddle with mens affairs in fuch nice matters. And, my lord, I have made a maxim, that should be writ in letters of diamonds, That a wife man ought to have money in his head, but not in his heart. Pray, my lord, enquire whether your prototype, my lord Digby, after the Restoration, when he was at Briftol, did not take fome care of his fortune notwithstanding that quotation I once fent you out of his fpeech to the Houfe of Commons? In my confcience, I believe Fortune, like other drabs, values a man gradually lefs for every year he lives. I have demonftration for it; because if I play at piquet for fix-pence with a man or a woman two years younger than myself, I always lofe; and there is a young girl of twenty, who never fails of winning my money at back-gammon, though the is a bungler, and the game be ecclefiaftic. As to the public, I confess nothing could cure my itch of meddling with it but thefe frequent returns of deafnefs, which have hindered me from paffing laft winter in London; yet I cannot but confider the perfidioufnefs of fome people, who, I thought when I was laft there, upon a change that happened, were the most impudent in forgetting their profeffions that I have ever known. Pray, will you please to take your pen, and blot me out that political maxim, from whatever book it is in, that

Res

Res nolunt diu male adminiftrari; the commonnefs makes me not know who is the author, but fure he must be fome modern.

I am forry for lady Bolingbroke's ill health; but I proteft I never knew a very deferving perfon of that fex, who had not too much reafon to complain of ill health. I never wake without find. ing life a more infignificant thing than it was the day before; which is one great advantage I get by living in this country, where there is nothing I fhall be forry to lofe. But my greatest mifery is recollecting the fcene of twenty years past, and then all on a fudden dropping into the prefent. I remember, when I was a little boy, I felt a great fish at the end of my line, which I drew up almoft on the ground, but it dropt in, and the difappointment vexes me to this very day, and, I believe, it was the type of all my future difappointments. I should be ashamed to fay this to you, if you had not a spirit fitter to bear your own misfortunes, than I have to think of them. Is there patience left to reflect by what qualities wealth and greatnefs are got, and by what qualities they are loft? I have read my friend Congreve's verfes to lord Cobham, which end with a vile and falfe moral, and I remember is not in Horace to Tibullus, which he imitates," that all times are equally "virtuous and vicious," wherein he differs from all poets, philofophers, and christians, that ever writ. It is more probable, that there may be an equal quantity of virtue always in the world, but fometimes there may be a peck of it in Asia, and hardly a thimble-full in Europe. But if there be no virtue, there is abundance of fincerity; for I will venture all I am worth, that there is not one human creature in power, who will not be modeft enough to confefs that he proceeds wholly upon a principle of corruption. I fay this, because I have a scheme, in spite of your notions, to govern England upon the principles of virtue; and when the nation is ripe for it, I defire you will fend for me. I have learned this by living like a her mit, by which I am got backwards about 1900 years in the era of the world, and begin to wonder at the wickedness of

men. I dine alone upon half a dish of meat, mix water with my wine, walk ten miles a day, and read Baronius.

139. From Mr. POPE to Dr. SWIFT.

I now hold the pen for my lord Bolingbroke, who is reading your letter between two hay-cocks; but his intention is fomewhat diverted by casting his eyes on the clouds, not in admira tion of what you fay, but for fear of a fhower. He is pleafed with your placing him in the triumvirate between yourfelf and me; though he fays that he doubts he shall fare like Lepidus, while one of us runs away with all the power, like Auguftus, and another with all the pleafures, like Anthony. It is upon a forefight of this that he has fitted up his farm; and you will agree, that this fcheme of retreat at leaft is not founded upon weak appearances. Upon his return from the Bath, all peccant humours, he finds, are purged out of him; and his great temperance and œconomy are fo fignal, that the first is fit for my conftitution, and the latter will enable you to lay up fo much money as to buy a bishoprick in England. As to the return of his health and vigour, were you here, you might enquire of his hay-makers; but as to his temperance, I can anfwer that (for one whole day) we have had nothing for dinner but mutton-broth, beans and bacon, and a barn-door fowl. Now his lordship is run after his cart, I have a moment left to myfelf to tell you, that I over-heard him yesterday agree with a painter for 2001. to paint his country-hall with trophies of rakes, fpades, prongs, &c. and other ornaments, merely to countenance his calling this place a farm.--Now turn over a new leaf,-he bids me affure you, he fhould be forry not to have more fchemes of kindness for his friends, than of ambition for himself: there, though his fchemes may be weak, the motives at leaft are ftrang; and he fays further, if you could bear as great a fall and decreafe of your revenues, as he knows by experience he can, you would not live in Ireland an hour.

The Dunciad is going to be printed in all pomp, with the infcription, which

makes

makes me proudeft. It will be attended with Proeme, Prolegomena, Teftimonia Scriptorum, Index Authorum, and Notes Variorum. As to the latter, I defire you to read over the text, and make a few in any way you like beft; whether dry raillery, upon the ftyle and way of commenting of trivial critics; or humorous, upon the authors in the poem; or historical, of perfons, places, times; or explanatory; or collecting the parallel paffages of the ancients. Adieu. I am pretty well, my mother not ill, Dr. Arbuthnot vexed with his fever by intervals; I am afraid he declines, and we shall lose a worthy man: I am troubled about him very much.

I am, &c.

$140. From Lord BOLINGBROKE to Dr. SWIFT.

I did not take the pen out of Pope's hands; but fince he will not fill the remainder of the page, I think I may without offence. I feek no epiftolary fame, but am a good deal pleafed to think that it will be known hereafter, that you and I lived in the moft friendly intimacy together.- Pliny writ his letters for the public, fo did Seneca, fo did Balzac, Voiture, &c. Tully did not, and therefore thefe give us more pleasure than any which have come down to us from antiquity. When we read them, we pry into a fecret which was intended to have been kept from us. That is a pleasure. We fee Cato, and Brutus, and Pompey, and others, fuch as they really were, and not fuch as the gaping multitude of their own age took them to be, or as hiftorians and poets have reprefented them to ours. That is another pleasure. I remember to have feen a proceffion at Aix-la-Chapelle, wherein an image of Charlemagne is carried on the fhoulders of a man, who is hid by the long robe of the imperial faint. Follow him into the veftry, you fee the bearer flip from under the robe, and the gigantic figure dwindles into an image of the ordinary fize, and is fet by among other lumber.-I agree much with Pope, that our climate is rather better than that you are in, and perhaps your public fpirit would be lefs grieved, or oftener comforted, here

than there. Come to us therefore on a vifit at least. It will not be the fault of feveral perfons here, if you do not come to live with us. But great goodwill and little power produce fuch flow and feeble effects as can be acceptable to Heaven alone, and heavenly men.I know you will be angry with me, if I fay nothing to you of a poor woman, who is ftill on the other fide of the water in a moft languishing ftate of health. If the regains ftrength enough to come over, (and fhe is better within a few weeks) I fhall nurfe her in this farm with all the care and tenderness poffible. If fhe does not, I must pay her the laft duty of friendship, wherever the is, though I break through the whole plan of life which I have formed in my mind. Adieu. I am, &c.

§ 141. Dr. SWIFT to Mr. GAY.

Ever fince I received your letter, I have been upon a balance about going to England, and landing at Bristol to pafs a month at Amesbury, as the duchefs hath given me leave. But many difficulties have interfered; first, I thought I had done with my law-fuit, and fo did all my lawyers; but my adverfary, after being in appearance a proteftant these twenty years, hath declared he was always a papist, and confequently, by the law here, cannot buy, nor (I think) fell; fo that I am at fea again, for almost all I am worth. But I have ftill a worfe evil; for the giddinefs I was fubject to, instead of coming feldom and violent, now conftantly attends me more or less, though in a more peaceable manner, yet fuch as will not qualify me to live among the young and healthy; and the duchefs, in all her youth, fpirit, and grandeur, will make a very ill nurfe, and her woman not much better. Valetudinarians must live where they can command and fcold; I must have horfes to ride, I must go to bed and rife when I please, and live where all mortals are fubfervient to me. I muft talk nonfenfe when I please, and all who are prefent muft commend it. I must ride thrice a week, and walk three or four miles befides every day. I always told you Mr. was good for nothing but to be a rank courtier. I

care

care not whether he ever writes to me or no. He and you may tell this to the duchefs, and I hate to fee you fo charitable, and fuch a cully and yet I love you for it, becaufe I am one myself. You are the fillieft lover in Chriftendom. If you like Mrs., why do you not command her to take you? If The does not, fhe is not worth purfuing; you do her too much honour; the hath neither fenfe or tafte, if the dares to refufe you, though fhe had 10,000l. I do not remember to have told you of thanks that you have not given, nor do I understand your meaning, and I am fure I had never the leaft thoughts of myself. If I am your friend, it is for my own reputation, and from a principle of felf-love; and I do fometimes reproach you for not honouring me by letting the world know we are friends.

I fee very well how matters go with the duchefs in regard to me. I heard her fay, Mr. Gay, fill your letter to the dean, that there may be no room for me; the frolic is gone far enough, I have writ thrice, I will do no more; if the man has a mind to come, let him come; what a clutter is here! Pofitively I will not write a fyllable more. She is an ungrateful duchefs, confidering how many adorers I have procured her here,

over and above the thousands fhe had before. I cannot allow you rich enough till you are worth 7000l. which will bring you 300l. per annum, and this will maintain you, with the perquifite of fpunging while you are young; and when you are old, will afford you a pint of port at night, two fervants, and an old maid, a little garden, and pen and ink,-provided you live in the country.- Have you no scheme, either in verfe or profe? The duchefs fhould keep you at hard meat, and by that means force you to write; and fo I have done with you.

has defigns upon a chaplain) must be my nurfe, if I happen to be fick or peevish at your houfe; and in that cafe you muft fufpend your domineering claim till I recover. Your omitting the ufual appendix to Mr. Gay's letters hath done me infinite mischief here; for while you continued them, you would wonder how civil the ladies here were to me, and how much they have altered fince. I dare not confefs that I have defcended fo low as to write to your grace, after the abominable neglect you have been guilty of; for if they but fufpected it, I fhould lose them all. One of them, who had an inkling of the matter (your grace will hardly believe it) refufed to beg my pardon upon her knees, for once neglecting to make my rice milk.-Pray confider this, and do your duty, or dread the confequence. I promife you fhall have your fix minutes every hour at Amesbury, and feven in London, while I am in health; but if I happen to be fick, I must govern to a fecond. Yet, properly speaking, there is no man alive with fo much truth and respect,

Your grace's

moft obedient fervant.

§ 142. From Dr. SWIFT to Mr. Gay.

I know not what to fay to the account of your stewardship, and it is monftrous to me that the South Sea fhould pay half their debts at one clap. But I will fend the money when you put me into the way, for I fhall want it here, my affairs being in a bad condition by the miferies of the kingdom, and my own private fortune being wholly embroiled, and worfe than ever; so that I fhall foon petition the duchefs, as an object of charity, to lend me 3 or 40001. to keep up my dignity. My 100l. will buy me fix hgfheads of wine, which will fupport me a year; provife frugis

BERRY.

Madam, Since I begin to grow old, I have found all ladies become inconftant, without any reproach from their confcience. If I wait on you, I declare that one of your women (whichever it is that 4

more: for I will conftrue frugis to be wine. You are young enough to get fome lucky hint, which must come by chance, and it shall be a thing of importance, quod & hunc in annum vivat & in plures, and you shall not finish it in hafte, and it fhall be diverting, and

ufefully