Abbildungen der Seite
PDF
EPUB

order to fatisfy himfelf in which, it was, that he purchafed the body of one of the firft fpecies (as hath been before related) at Tyburn, hoping in time to have the happiness of one of the latter too under his anatomical knife.

The Soul a Quality.

This is eafily answered by a familiar inftance. In every jack there is a meatroafting quality, which neither refides in the fly, nor in the weight, nor in any particular wheel in the jack, but is the refult of the whole compofition: fo, in an animal, the felf-confcioufnefs is not a real quality inherent in one being (any more than meat-roafting in a jack) but the refult of feveral modes or qualities in the fame fubject. As the fly, the wheels, the chain, the weight, the cords, &c. make one jack, fo the feveral parts of the body make one animal. As perception or confcioufnefs is faid to be inherent in this animal, fo is meat-roafting faid to be inherent in the jack. As fenfation, reafoning, volition, memory, &c. are the feveral modes of thinking; fo roafting of beef, roafting of mutton, roafting of pullets, geefe, turkeys, &c. are the feveral modes of meat-roafting. And as the general quality of meat-roafting, with its feveral modifications, as to beef, mutton, pullets, &c. does not inhere in any one part of the jack; fo neither does confciousness, with its feveral modes of fenfation, intellection, volition, &c. inhere in any one, but is the refult from the mechanical compofition of the whole animal. Pope.

§ 36. Diversity of Geniuses.

I fhall range thefe confined and lefs copious geniufes under proper claffes, and (the better to give their pictures to the reader) under the names of animals of fome fort or other; whereby he will be enabled, at the firft fight of fuch as fhall daily come forth, to know to what kind to refer, and with what authors to compare them.

1. The Flying Fishes: These are writers who now and then rife upon their fins, and fly out of the profund; but their wings are foon dry, and they drop down to the bottom. G. S. A. H. C. G.

2. The Swallows are authors that

are eternally fkimming and fluttering up and down; but all their agility is employed to catch flies. L. T. W. P. Lord H.

3. The Oftriches are fuch, whofe heavinefs rarely permits them to raise themselves from the ground; their wings are of no ufe to lift them up, and their motion is between flying and walking; but then they run very fast. D. F. L. E. The Hon. E. H.

4. The Parrots are they that repeat another's words, in fuch a hoarfe odd voice, as makes them feem their own. W. B. W. H. C. C. The Reverend D. D.

5. The Didappers are authors that keep themfelves long out of fight, under water, and come up now and then where you least expected them. L. W. G. D. Efq. The Hon. Sir W. Y.

6. The Porpoifes are unwieldy and big; they put all their numbers into a great turmoil and tempeft; but whenever they appear in plain light (which is feldom) they are only fhapeless and ugly monfters. I. D. C. G. I. O.

7. The Frogs are fuch as can neither walk nor fly, but can leap and bound to admiration: they live generally in the bottom of a ditch, and make a great noife whenever they thrust their heads above water. E. W. L. M. Efq. T. D. Gent.

8. The Eels are obfcure authors, that wrap themselves up in their own mud, but are mighty nimble and pert. L. W. L. T. P. M. General C.

9. The Tortoifes are flow and chill, and, like paftoral writers, delight much. in gardens: they have for the most part a fine embroidered shell, and underneath it, a heavy lump. A. P. W. B. L. E. The Right Hon. E of S.

These are the chief characteristics of the Bathos: and in each of thefe kinds we have the comfort to be bleffed with fundry and manifold choice spirits in this our island.

The Advancement of the Bathos.

Thus have I (my dear countrymen) with incredible pains and diligence, difcovered the hidden fources of the Bathos, or, as I may fay, broke open X x

the

the abyffes of this great deep. And having now established good and wholefome laws, what remains but that all true moderns, with their utmost might, do proceed to put the fame in execution? In order whereto, I think I fhall, in the fecond place, highly deferve of my country, by propofing fuch a fcheme, as may facilitate this great end.

As our number is confeffedly far fuperior to that of the enemy, there seems' nothing wanting but unanimity among ourfelves. It is therefore humbly of fered, that all and every individual of the Bathos do enter into a firm affocia tion, and incorporate into one regular body; whereof every member, even the meanest, will fome-way contribute to the fupport of the whole; in like manner as the weakeft reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our art ought to be put upon the fame foot with other arts of this age. The vaft improvement of modern manufactures arifeth from their being divided into feveral branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades: for inftance, in clock-making, one artift makes the balance, another the fpring, another the crown-wheels, a fourth the cafe, and the principal workman puts all together to this economy we owe the perfection of our modern watches; and doubtless we alfo might that of our modern poetry and rhetoric, were the feveral parts branched out in the like

manner.

Nothing is more evident than that 'divers perfons, no other way remarkable, have each a ftrong difpofition to the formation of fome particular trope or figure. Ariftotle faith, that the hyperbole is an ornament fit for young men of quality; accordingly we find in thofe gentlemen a wonderful propenfity towards it, which is marvellously improved by travelling: foldiers alfo and feamen are very happy in the fame figure. The periphrafis or circumlocution is the peculiar talent of country farmers; the proverb and apologue of old men at clubs; the ellipfis, or speech by half words, of minifters and politicians; the apofiopefis, of courtiers; the litotes, and diminution, of ladies, whisperers, and backbiters; and the anadiplofis, of common criers and

7

hawkers, who, by redoubling the fame words, perfuade people to buy their oyfters, green haftings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingfgate, farcafm and irony learned upon the water, and the epipho. nema or exclamation frequently from the bear-garden, and as frequently from the Hear him' of the Houfe of

commons.

Now each man applying his whole time and genius upon his particular figure, would doubtlefs attain to perfec tion: and when each became incorporated and fworn into the fociety (as hath been propofed) a poet or orator would have no more to do but to fend to the particular traders in each kind; to the metaphorift for his allegories, to the fimile-maker for his comparisons, to the ironift for his farcafms, to the apophthegmatist for his fentences, &c. ; whereby a dedication or fpeech would be compofed in a moment, the fuperior artist having nothing to do but to put together all the materials.

I therefore propofe that there be contrived, with all convenient dispatch, at the public expence, a rhetorical chest of drawers, confifting of three ftories; the higheft for the deliberative, the middle for the demonftrative, and the loweft for the judicial. Thefe fhall be fubdivided into loci or places, being repofitories for matter and argument in the feveral kinds of oration or writing; and every drawer fhall again be fubdivided into cells, refembling those of cabinets for rarities. The apartment for peace or war, and that of the liberty of the prefs, may in a very few days be filled with feveral arguments perfectly new; and the vituperative partition will as eafily be replenished with a moft choice collection, entirely of the growth and manufacture of the prefent age. Every compofer will foon be taught the ufe of this cabinet, and how to manage all the regifters of it, which will be drawn out much in the manner of those in an organ.

The keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by fome reverend prelate, or valiant officer, of unquestionable loyalty and affection to every prefent eftablish ment in church and ftate; which will fufficiently guard against any mischief

which

which might otherwife, be apprehended from it.

And being lodged in fuch hands, it may be at difcretion let out by the day, to feveral great orators in both houses; from whence it is to be hoped much profit and gain will accrue to our fociety.

Dedications and Panegyrics.

Now of what neceffity the foregoing project may prove, will appear from this fingle confideration, that nothing is of equal confequence to the fuccefs of our works as fpeed and dispatch. Great pity it is, that folid brains are not, like other folid bodies, conftantly endowed with a velocity in finking proportionable to their heavinefs: for it is with the flowers of the Bathos as with thofe of nature, which, if the careful gardener brings not hastily to market in the morning, muft unprofitably perish and wither before night. And of all our productions none is fo fhort-lived as the dedication and panegyric, which are often but the praife of a day, and become by the next utterly ufelefs, improper, indecent, and falfe. This is the more to be lamented, inasmuch as these two are the forts whereon in a manner depends that profit, which muft ftill be remembered to be the main end of our writers and speakers.

We shall therefore employ this chap ter in fhewing the quickest method of compofing them: after which we will teach a fhort way to epic poetry. And thefe being confeffedly the works of most importance and difficulty, it is prefumed we may leave the reft to each author's own learning or practice.

First of Panegyric. Every man is honourable, who is fo by law, cuftom, or title. The public are better judges of what is honourable than private men. The virtues of great men, like thofe of plants, are inherent in them, whether they are exerted or not; and the more ftrongly inherent, the lefs they are exerted; as a man is the more rich, the lefs he fpends. All great minifters, without either private or economical virtue, are virtuous by their pofts, liberal and generous upon the public money, provident upon public fupplies, just by paying public intereft, courage.

ous and magnanimious by the fleets and armies, magnificent upon the public expences, and prudent by public fuccefs. They have by their office a right to a fhare of the public ftock of virtues; befides, they are by prefcription immemorial invefted in all the celebrated virtues of their predeceffors in the fame ftations, especially those of their own ancestors.

As to what are commonly called the colours of honourable and dishonourable, they are various in different countries: in this, they are blue, green, and red.

But, forafmuch as the duty we owe to the public doth often require that we fhould put fome things in a ftrong light, and throw a fhade over others, I fhall explain the method of turning a vicious man into a hero.

The first and chief rule is the golden rule of transformation; which confifts in converting vices into their bordering virtues. A man who is a spendthrift, and will not pay a juft debt, may have his injuftice transformed into liberality; cowardice may be metamorphofed into prudence; intemperance into goodnature and good-fellowship; corruption into patriotifm; and lewdnefs into tendernefs and facility.

The fecond is the rule of contraries. It is certain the lefs a man is endued with any virtue, the more need he has to have it plentifully beftowed, efpecially thofe good qualities of which the world generally believes he has none at all: for who will thank a man for giving him that which he has ?

The reverse of these precepts will ferve for fatire; wherein we are ever to remark, that whofo lofeth his place, or becomes out of favour with the government, hath forfeited his fhare in public praife and honour. Therefore the truly public-fpirited writer ought in duty to ftrip him whom the government hath ftripped; which is the real poetical juftice of this age. For a full collection of topics and epithets to be ufed in the praife and difpraise of minifterial and unministerial perfons, I refer to our rhetorical cabinet; concluding with an earnest exortation to all my brethren, to obferve the precepts here laid down; the neglect of which

X x 2

has

has coft fome of them their ears in a pillory.

A Receipt to make an Epic Poem. An epic poem, the critics agree, is the greatest work human nature is capable of. They have already laid down many mechanical rules for compofitions of this fort, but at the fame time they cut off almost all undertakers from the poffibility of ever performing them; for the first qualification they unani mouly require in a poet, is a genius. I fhall here endeavour (for the benefit of my countrymen) to make it manifeft, that epic poems may be made without a genius, nay without learning or much reading. This muft ne. ceffarily be of great ufe to all thofe who confefs they never read, and of whom the world is convinced they never learn. Moliere obferves of making a dinner, that any man can do it with money; and if a profeffed cook cannot do with out it, he has his art for nothing: the fame may be faid of making a poem; it is eafily brought about by him that has a genius, but the skill lies in doing it without one. In purfuance of this end, I fhall prefent the reader with a plain and fure recipe, by which any author in the Bathos may be qualified for this grand performance.

To make an Epic Poem.

For the Fable. Take out any old poem, hiftory.book, romance, or legend (for instance, Geoffry of Monmouth, or Don Belianis of Greece) thofe parts of ftory which afford moit fcope for long defcriptions: put these pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one tale. Then take a hero, whom you may chufe for the found of his name, and put him in the midst of thefe adventures: there let him work for twelve books; at the end of which you may take him out, ready prepared to conquer or to marry; it being neceffary that the conclufion of an epic poem be fortunate.

To make an Episode. Take any remaining adventure of your former collection, in which you could no way involve your hero; or any unfortunate accident that was too good to be thrown away; and it will be of ufe, applied to

any other perfon, who may be loft and evaporate in the courfe of the work, without the leaft damage to the compofition.

For the Moral and Allegory. These you may extract out of the fable afterwards, at your leifure: be fure you ftrain them fufficiently.

For the Manners. For those of the hero, take all the best qualities you can find in the most celebrated heroes of antiquity: if they will not be reduced to a confiftency, lay them all on a heap upon him. But be fure they are qualities which your patron would be thought to have; and to prevent any mistake which the world may be fubject to, felect from the alphabet thofe capital letters that compofe his name, and fet them at the head of a dedication or poem. However, do not obferve the exact quantity of these virtues, it not being determined whether or no it be neceffary for the hero of a poem to be an honeft man. For the under-characters, gather them from Homer and Virgil, and change the names as occafion ferves.

For the Machines. Take of deities, male and female, as many as you can ufe feparate them into two equal parts, and keep Jupiter in the middle: let Juno put him in a ferment, and Venus mollify him. Remember on all occafions to make use of volatile Mercury. If you have need of devils, draw them out of Milton's Paradife, and extract your fpirits from Taffo. The use of these machines is evident : fince no epic poem can poffibly fubfift without them, the wifeft way is to referve them for your greatest neceffities. When you cannot extricate your hero by any human means, or yourself by your own wit, feek relief from heaven, and the gods will do your business very readily. This is according to the direct prefcription of Horace, in his Art of Poety:

Nec deus interfit, nifi dignus vindice nodus
Inciderit.-

That is to fay, "A poet fhould never "call upon the gods for their affiftance, but when he is in great per"plexity."

..

For the Defcriptions. For a tempeft. Take

Take Eurus, Zephyr, Aufter, and Boreas, and caft them together in one verfe: add to thefe of rain, lightning, and thunder (the loudeft you can) quantum fufficit; mix your clouds and billows well together till they foam, and thicken your defcription here and there with a quickfand. Brew your tempeft well in your head, before you fet it ablowing.

For a battle. Pick a large quantity of images and defcriptions from Homer's Iliad, with a spice or two of Virgil; and if there remain any overplus, you may lay them by for a fkirmish. Seafon it well with fimiles, and it will make an excellent battle.

For a burning town. If fuch a de. fcription be neceffary (because it is certain there is one in Virgil) old Troy is ready burnt to your hands: but if you fear that would be thought borrowed, a chapter or two of the Theory of the Conflagration, well circumftanced and done into verfe, will be a good fuccedaneum.

As for fimiles and metaphors, they may be found all over the creation; the most ignorant may gather them: but the difficulty is in applying them. For this advise with your bookfeller.

Pope.

$37. The Duty of a Clerk. No fooner was I elected into my of. fice, but I laid afide the powdered gallantries of my youth, and became a new man. I confidered myfelf as in fome wife of ecclefiaftical dignity; fince by wearing a band, which is no fmall part of the ornament of our clergy, I might not unworthily be deemed, as it were, a fhred of the linen vestment of Aaron.

Thou may't conceive, O reader, with what concern I perceived the eyes of the congregation fixed upon me, when I first took my place at the feet of the priest. When I raised the pfalm, how did my voice quaver for fear! and when I arrayed the fhoulders of the minifter with the furplice, how did my joints tremble under me! I faid with. in myfelf," Remember, Paul, thou "ftandeft before men of high worship; the wife Mr. Juftice Freeman, the

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

"grave Mr. Juftice Tonfon, the good Lady Jones, and the two virtuous gentlewomen her daughters; nay, "the great Sir Thomas Truby, Knight and Baronet, and my young mafter the Efquire, who fhall one day be

"lord of this manor." Notwithstand

ing which, it was my good hap to acquit myself to the good liking of the whole congregation; but the Lord forbid I fhould glory therein.

I was determined to reform the ma

nifold corruptions and abufes which had crept into the church.

First, I was efpecially fevere in whipping forth dogs from the temple, all excepting the lap-dog of the good widow Howard, a fober dog which yelped not, nor was there offence in his mouth.

Secondly, I did even proceed to morofenefs, though fore against my heart, unto poor babes, in tearing from them the half-eaten apples which they privily munched at church. But verily it pitied me; for I remember the days of my youth.

Thirdly, With the fweat of my own hands, I did make plain and smooth the dogs ears throughout our great Bible.

Fourthly, The pews and benches, which were formerly fwept but once in three years, I caufed every Saturday to be fwept with a befom, and trimmed.

Fifthly, and laftly, I caufed the furplice to be neatly darned, washed, and laid in fresh lavender (yea, and fometimes to be fprinkled with rofe-water); and I had great laud and praise from all the neigbouring clergy, forafmuch as no parish kept the minifter in cleaner linen.

[blocks in formation]
« ZurückWeiter »