whole force of his lungs in imitating that refpectable animal: I was fo exafperated at this fresh inftance of his folly, that I told him haftily, he might drink his wine alone, and that I would never fee his face again, till he fhould think proper to appear in a character more worthy of himself and his family. He followed me to the door without making any reply; and, having advanced into the middle of the ftreet, fell to clapping his fides, and crowing like a cock, with the utmost vehemence, and continued his triumphant ejaculations till I was fairly out of hearing.

Having reached my lodgings, I immediately refolved to fend you an ac count of his abfurdities, and fhall take this opportunity to inform him, that as he is bleft with fuch a variety of useful talents, and fo completely accomplished as a Choice Spirit, I fhall not do him the injury to confider him as a tradefman, or mortify him hereafter by endeavouring to give him any

affiftance in his business.

I am, &c.

B. Thornton.

(that was formerly quite unknown, and even now wants a name) which feizes whole families here in town at this feafon of the year. As I cannot define it, I fhall not pretend to defcribe or account for it: but one would imagine, that the, people were all bit by a mad dog, as the fame remedy is thought neceffary. In a word, of whatever nature the complaint may be, it is imagined that nothing will remove it, but fpending the fummer months in fome dirty fifhing-town by the fea-thore; and the water is judged to be moft efficacious, where there is the greatest resort of afflicted perfons.

I called upon a friend the other morning, in the city, pretty early, about bufinefs, when I was furprized to fee a coach and four at the door, which the prentice and book-keeper were loading with trunks, portmanteaus, baskets, and band-boxes. The frontglafs was fcreened by two round paper hat-cafes hung up before it; against one door was placed a guitar-cafe; and a red fattin cardinal, lined and edged. with fur, was pinned against the other; while the extremities of an enormous

Sir,

That there are many diforders peculiar to the prefent age, which were entirely unknown to our forefathers, will (I believe) be agreed by all phyficians, efpecially as they find an increase of their fees from them. For instance, in the language of the advertisement, "Never were nervous diforders more

frequent:" we can hardly meet with a lady, who is not na-a-a-arvous to the laft degree, though our mothers and grandmothers fcarce ever heard the word Nerves: the gentlemen too are affectated in the fame manner; and even in the country, this diforder has fpread like the fmall-pox, and infected whole villages. I have known a farmer tofs off a glafs of brandy in a morning to prevent his hand fhaking, while his wife has been obliged to have recourfe to the fame cordial with her tea, because it otherwife would make her low-fpirited. But there is an epidemical diforder

dow. Thefe preparations were undoubtedly for a journey; and when I came in, I found the family were equipped accordingly. The lady-mother was dreffed in a Jofeph of fcarlet duffil, buttoned down from the breaft to the feet, with a black filk bonnet, tied down to her head with a white handkerchief: little mifs (about fixteen years of age) had a blue camblet jacket, cuffed and lapelled with pink fattin, with a narrow edging of filver lace, a black beaver hat, covered on the outside with white fhag, and cocked behind, with a filver button and loop, and a blue feather. The old gentleman had very little particular in his drefs, as he wore his ufual pompadour-coloured coat with gilt buttons; only he had added to it a fcarlet cloth waiftcoat, with a broad tarnished gold lace, which was made when he was chofen of the commoncouncil. Upon my entrance, I naturaily afked them if they were going into the country; to which the old lady replied in the affirmative, at the

fame time affuring me, that the was forry to take Mr. from his bufinefs, but he was obliged to it on account of her health. Health!" fays the old gentleman, "I don't underftand your whim-whams, not I: here has it cost me the lord knows what in doctors ftuff already, with out your being a pin the better for it; and now you must lug me and all the family to Brighthelm<< flone." "Why, my dear," faid the lady, "you know Dr. tells me, there is nothing will do my fpirits "fo much good as bathing in the fea," "The fea "faid the old gentleman; "why then could not you have taken lodgings at Gravefend, where I might have easily come in the evening, and gone back time enough for "Change in the morning?" The good lady told him that he had no tafte, that people of the best fashion went to Erighthelmftone, and that it was high time their girl fhould fee a little of the world. To this mifs affented, by declaring, that indeed fhe had been no where but to the play, and the caftleconcert, fince fhe had left the boarding-fchool. Both the females then asked me an hundred queftions, fuch as, whether the fea looked green, and how much bigger it was than the Thames,

ings are drauled away, with perhaps a faunter upon the beach, which commands the delightful view of half a dozen hoys, and as many fishing-fmacks; and if it was not for a lounge at the coffee-houfe, or the book feller's, they would be at a lofs how to fill up the vacant hours till dinner. The evenings would hang no lefs heavy on their hands, but for the ingenious contrivance of the affembly-room; where, inftead of enjoying the cool temperature of the open air, they choose to fwelter in a crowd, and be almost fuffocated with their own breaths. Add to this the refreshing fummer diverfion of jigging it to the delightful mufic of country fcrapers, to fay nothing of the calmer and lefs fudorific exercife of the card-table. But what is most ridicu lous, is the attention paid to drefs in thefe public retirements, where a gentleman or a lady is expected to appear as gay as at court, or at Ranelagh; confequently, as foon as you arrive at them, you have bills civilly thrust into your hands, acquainting you, that there is fuch an one, a milliner, and fuch an one, an hair-dreffer, from London. I am a fincere well-wifher to your paper, &c.

Sir,

ANTHONY FRESHWATER. B. Thornton

Character of a mighty good Kind of Man.

the

of man.

the flighteft acquaintance with him, he begins with Dear Sir," and ends with, "I am, good Sir, your ever fincere and affectionate friend, and "moft obedient humble fervant." You may generally find him in company with older perfons than himself, but always with richer. He does not talk much; but he has a "Yes," or a "True, Sir," or "You obferve very right, Sir," for every word that is faid; which, with the old gentry, that love to hear themfelves talk, makes him pafs for a mighty fenfible and difcerning, as well as a mighty good kind It is fo familiar to him to be agreeable, and he has got fuch a habit of affenting to every thing advanced in company, that he does it without the trouble of thinking what he is about. I have known fuch a one, after having approved an obfervation made by one of the company, affent with a "What you fay is very juft," to an oppofite fentiment from another; and I have frequently made him contradict himfelf five times in a minute. As the weather is a principal and favourite to pic of a mighty good kind of man, you may make him agree, that it is very hot, very cold, very cloudy, a fine funthine, or it rains, fnows, hails, or freezes, all in the fame hour. The wind may be high, or not blow at all; it may be Eaft, Weft, North, or South, South Eaft and by Eaft, or in any point in the compafs, or any point not in the compafs, juft as you pleafe. This, in a ftage-coach, makes him a mighty agreeable companion, as well as a mighty good kind of man. He is fo civil, and fo well-bred, that he would keep you tanding half an hour uncovered, in the rain, rather than he would ftep in. to your chariot before you; and the dinner is in danger of growing cold, if you attempt to place him at the upper end of the table. He would not fuffer a glass of wine to approach his lips, till he had drank the health of half the company, and would fooner rife hungry from table, than not drink to the other half before dinner is over, left he fhould offend any by his neglect. He never forgets to hob or nob with the lady of the family, and by no means

omits to toaft her fire-fide. He is fure to take notice of little mafter and mifs, when they appear after dinner, and is very affiduous to win their little hearts, by almonds and raifins, which he never fails to carry about him for that pur pofe. This of courfe recommends him to mamma's esteem; and he is not only a mighty good kind of man, but she is certain he would make a mighty good hufband.

No man is half fo happy in his friendships. Almoft every one he names is a friend of his, and every friend a mighty good kind of man. I had the honour of walking lately with one of thefe good creatures from the Royal Exchange to Piccadilly; and, I believe, he pulled off his hat to every third perfon we met, with a "How do "you do, my dear Sir?" though, I found, he hardly knew the names of five of thefe intimate acquaintances. I was highly entertained with the greeting between my companion, and another mighty good kind of man that we met in the Strand. You would have thought they were brothers, and that they had not feen one another for many years, by their mutual expreffions of joy at meeting. They both talked together, not with a defign of oppofing each other, but through eagernefs to approve what each other faid. I caught them frequently, crying, "Yes," together, and "Very true,' "You are very right, my dear Sir;" and at laft, having exhaufted their favourite topic of, what news, and the weather, they concluded with each begging to have the vaft pleafure of an agreeable evening with the other very foon; but parted without naming ei ther time or place.

I remember, at Westminster, a mighty good kind of boy, though he was generally hated by his fchool fellows, was the darling of the dame where he boarded, as by his means he knew who did all the mifchief in the houfe. He always finished his exercife before he went to play: you could never find a falfe concord in his profe, or a falfe quantity in his verfe; and he made huge amends for the want of fenfe and fpirit in his compofitions, by having

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very few grammatical errors. If you could not call him a fcholar, you must allow he took great pains not to appear a dunce. At the univerfity he never failed attending his tutor's lectures, was conftant at prayers night and morning, never miffed gates, or the hall at meal-times, was regular in his academical exercifes, and took pride in appearing, on all occafions, with mafters of arts; and he was happy, beyond meafure, in being acquainted with fome of the heads of houses, who were glad through him to know what paffed among the under-graduates. Though he was not reckoned, by the college, to be a Newton, a Locke, or a Bacon, he was univerfally esteemed by the fepart, to be a mighty good kind of young man; and this even placid turn of mind has recommended him to no fmall preferment in the church.

nior

We may obferve, when thefe mighty good kind of young men come into the world, their attention to appearances and externals, beyond which the generality of people feldom examine, procures them a much better fubfiftence, and a more reputable fituation in life, than ever their abilities, or their merit, could otherwife intitle them to. Tho' they are feldom advanced very high, yet, if fuch a one is in orders, he gets a tolerable living, or is appointed tutor to a dunce of quality, or is made companion to him on his travels; and then, on his return, he is a mighty polite, as well as a mighty good kind of man, If he is to be a lawyer, his being fuch a mighty good kind of man will make the attornies fupply him with special

I must own, that a good man, and a man of fenfe, certainly fhould have every thing that this kind of man has ; yet, if he poffeffes no more, much is wanting to finish and complete his character. Many are deceived by French pafte: it has the luftre and brilliancy of a real diamond; but the want of hardnefs, the effential property of this valuable jewel, difcovers the counterfeit, and fhews it to be of no intrinfic value whatsoever. If the head and the heart are left out in the character of any man, you might as well look for a perfect beauty in a female face without a nofe, as to expect to find a valuable man without fenfibility and underftanding. But it often happens, that thefe mighty good kind of men are wolves in theep's cloathing; that their want of parts is fupplied by an abundance of cunning, and the outward behaviour and deportment calculated to entrap the fhort-fighted and unwary.

Where this is not the cafe, I cannot help thinking that thefe kind of men are no better than blanks in the creation: if they are not unjust stewards, they are certainly to be reckoned unprofitable fervants; and I would recommend, that this harmless, inoffenfive, infipid, mighty good kind of man fhould be married to a character of a very different ftamp, the mighty good fort of woman-an account of whom I fhall give you in a day or two.

I am your humble fervant, &c.
B. Thornton.

as he is fufficiently qualified by his flow genius to be a dray-horfe of the law. But though he can never hope to be a chancellor, or an archbishop, yet, if he is admitted of the medical college in Warwick-lane, he will have a good chance to be at the top of their profeffion, as the fuccefs of the faculty depends chiefly on old women, fanciful and hysterical young ones, whimsical men, and young children; among the generality of whom, nothing recommends a perfon fo much, as his being a mighty good kind of man.

of Woman.

I fuppofe the female part of my readers are very impatient to fee the character of a mighty good fort of woman; and doubtless every mighty good kind of man is anxious to know what fort of a wife I have picked out for him.

The mighty good fort of woman is civil without good-breeding, kind without good-nature, friendly without af fection, and devout without religion, She wishes to be thought every thing fhe is not, and would have others looked

upon

upon to be every thing fhe really is. If you will take her word, fhe detefts fcandal from her heart; yet, if a young lady happens to be talked of as being too gay, with a fignificant fhrug of her shoulders, and fhake of her head, fhe confeffes, It is too true, and the "whole town fays the fame thing." She is the most compaffionate creature living, and is ever pitying one perfon, and forry for another. She is a great dealer in buts, and ifs, and half fentences, and does more mifchief with a may be, and I'll fay no more, than fhe could do by fpeaking out. She confirms the truth of any story more by her fears and doubts, than if the had given proof pofitive; though fhe always concludes with a "Let us hope otherwife."

One principal bufinefs of a mighty good fort of woman is the regulation of families; and fhe extends a vifitatorial power over all her acquaintance. She is the umpire in all differences between man and wife, which she is fure to foment and increase by pretending to fettle them; and her great impartiality and regard for both leads her always to fide with one against the other. She has a moft penetrating and difcerning eye into the faults of the family, and takes care to pry into all their fecrets, that she may reveal them. If a man happens to stay out too late in the evening, The is fure to rate him hand fomely the next time the fees him, and take special care to tell him in the hearing of his wife, what a bad hufband he is: or if the lady goes to Ranelagh, or is engaged in a party at cards, fhe will keep the poor husband company, that he might not be dull, and entertains him all the while with the imperfections of his wife. She has alfo the entire difpofal of the children in her own hands, and can difinherit them, provide for them, marry them, or confine them to a ftate of celibacy, just as the pleafes: fhe fixes the lad's pocket-money at fchool, and allowance at the university; and has fent many an untoward boy to fea for education. But the young ladies are more immediately under her eye, and, in the grand point of matrimony, the choice or refufal depends folely upon her. Qne gentleman is too young,

another too old; one will run out his fortune, another has too little; one is a profeffed rake, another a fly finner; and the frequently tells the girl, "Tis "time enough to marry yet," till at laft there is nobody will have her. But the most favourite occupation of a mighty good fort of woman is, the fuperintendance of the fervants: fhe protefts, there is not a good one to be got; the men are idle, and thieves, and the maids are fluts, and good-for-nothing huffies. In her own family fhe takes care to feparate the men from the maids, at night, by the whole height of the houfe; thefe are lodged in the garret, while John takes up his roofting-place in the kitchen, or is ftuffed into the turn-up feat in the paffage, clofe to the ftreet-door. She rifes at five in the fummer, and at day-light in the winter, to detect them in giving away broken victuals, coals, candles, &c, and her own footman is employed the whole morning in carrying letters of information to the mafters and mistres fes, wherever the fees, or rather ima gines, this to be practifed. She has caufed many a man-fervant to lose his place for romping in the kitchen; and many a maid has been turned away, upon her account, for dressing at the men, as the calls it, looking out at the window, or ftanding at the street-door, in a fummer's evening. I am acquainted with three maiden-fifters, all mighty good fort of women, who, to prevent any ill confequences, will not keep a footman at all; and it is at the risk of their place, that the maids have any comers after them, nor will, on any account, a brother, or a male coufin, be fuffered to visit them.

A diftinguishing mark of a mighty good fort of woman is, her extraordi nary pretenfions to religion: fhe never miffes church twice a-day, in order to take note of those who are abfent; and fhe is always lamenting the decay of piety in these days. With fome of them the good Dr. Whitefield, or the good Dr. Romaine, is ever in their mouths; and they look upon the whole bench of bifhops to be very Jews in comparison of these faints. The mighty good fort of woman is alfo yery chari

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