that was before them; but this omission can be no loss to the courteous reader, for if he turn to the many commendable volumes of excellent philosophy Master Bacon hath writ, he shall behold his opinions clothed with such fine arguments as I despair of being master of CHAPTER II. Don Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant spirited lady. Leonato. There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad but when she sleeps; and not even sad then for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of unhappiness, and waked herself with laughing. Don Pedro. She cannot bear to hear tell of a husband. Leonato. O, by no means; she mocks all her wooers ont of suit. SHAKSPEARE. Fair angel of perfection, immortality FORD. "WHY dost take on so, Bess ?" asked the merry Alice, as she sat with her cousin in a fair chamber looking out into the open country at their house in Sherborne. "By my troth, thou art but little credit to womanhood. I will give thee up. I will forswear all relationship to thee if thou continuest to mope after this fashion. Well, if ever I be caught fretting after any man animal, the world must needs be as good as at an end. I would as soon think of taking to the making of simples for consumptive puppies. Nay, o' my life, I would sooner begin the digging of my own grave with a pap-spoon." "How thou dost talk, Alice!" exclaimed Dame Elizabeth, who seemed indeed exceeding sad at heart, as she sat with her cousin working of some tapestry, whilst a beautiful little boy, doubtless her own, was riding a cock-horse round the room upon an old sword in its scabbard, with such shouting and gladness of look as showed it was wonderful pleasant to him. "Thou knowest he hath been gone away so long a time I cannot but doubt of his safety." "Nay, he be safe enough I'll warrant him!" replied the other laughingly. "He knoweth that if he were to get any hurt and so vex thee I would as good as do for him. But these husbands be marvellously inclined to take care of themselves-took they as much heed of their wives now, there should be no falling out betwixt them. What a monstrous difference lieth in lovers and husbands! There is no more likelihood in the two, than may be found in a sparrow and a cod-fish. The one is always a chirruping, and billing, and hopping about one, as pleased as ever he can bethe other layeth his length where he may, careth as much for his wife as if she were a stone, and if he approach her at any time, seemeth like a very fish out of water. By my troth, methinks the difference betwixt wooing and wedlock be a difference indeed." 66 I have not found it so," observed her companion," Walter hath been ever the same to me. I do so wish he would come back! Alack! I cannot but be wretched, when day after day passeth by and bringeth me no tidings of him. Surely it is better to know the worst than to live in this state of uncertainty." "I tell thee thou hast no worst to know," answered Alice, and then turning to the boy, who was shouting lustily, she cried, "Walter! if thou makest not less noise on the instant, I will kiss thee within an inch of thy life." The child stopped a moment in his course, turned his laughing face towards his pretty kinswoman, shook his curly head with a famous archness, and proceeded on his way shouting more loudly than ever. "Ah, that is so like all man animals, be they big or little," continued Alice. "For a contrary humour there is not their like in this world. Dost believe it, Bess, that once upon a time one of these would needs be after caressing of me, for truly some are of so monstrous an impudency it can scarce be guessed what they would be about; but I pretty sharply gave him to know I would put up with no such thing, and threatened him with all manner of dreadful punishments made he but the slightest attempt at it. And what dost think the villain did ?" 66 Nay, I know not," replied her cousin. "He kissed me on the instant!" cried her merry companion, with a voice and look of such extreme solemnity, that the other could not but smile. "And what saidst thou to that ?" inquired Dame Elizabeth. "What said I?" exclaimed Alice, seemingly in a great as tonishment. By my troth, my breath was clean taken away at so horrid a villany-I could say naught: but worse cometh to be told; for ere I could recover myself, the caitiff was for doing of it again. At that moment I fetched him so absolute a box on the ear, that ever since then he can no more hear on that side of his head than can a dead pig whistle a coranto." Here both jumped up quickly from their work, the boy in running round the room having tripped and fallen heavily on his head, and Dame Elizabeth, with a face marvellously pale, hastened to pick him up. "Be in no sort of fear, Bess," said Alice consolingly, as the other took the child into her lap as she stood by, "he cannot be hurt at so little a fall." "But he is hurt, Alice," replied the mother, regarding the motionless child with a wild sort of fearfulness; "he moveth not a limb, and his little lips have no colour in them." "There!" exclaimed her cousin, as she noticed that he moved his arms up to his head and opened his eyes, looking as if in some way frightened, "I told thee his hurt could not be much." "Oh, there hath gone a weight off my heart which was nigh pressing me to the earth," said the other with much earnestness, as she caught the child to her breast, and then kissed him over and over again with as true a love as ever woman showed. Upon examining of him carefully, it was seen he had been but a little stunned, and could have received but a slight bruise or so, for he presently went to sleep in his mother's lap, never crying in the least, as if he had been none the worse for his tumble. This had scarce been done before there entered at the door Sir Nicholas Throckmorton, with as much mirth in his face as ought to content any honest man, and with this there was a sort of mystery, as if he was upon some trick or another that required secrecy in bringing it about. 66 They are come, Alice," exclaimed he in a low voice, and seemingly with a monstrous disposition to laugh outright. 66 66 Who are come, uncle?" inquired she. Why, thy lovers, wench, to be sure!" cried the old knight, bursting out into a famous chuckle. "Stephen hath much ado to keep them in their chambers, they be so furious to have sight of thee." 66 Oh, I did forget," said Alice laughingly, "I promised my lovers that this day I would give them an answer; and so hither have they come, each one, doubtless, fully convinced he shall be chosen of all the rest. Now will I show them such sport as they have no notion of." "A mad wench! a mad wench!" exclaimed Sir Nicholas, giving free vent to his mirth. "Thou wilt be the death of me some of these days, thou wilt, thou pretty rogue." "Now, I tell thee what, good uncle," observed his merry kinswoman unto him, " if thou hast a mind to see what sport I will make of them" "That wish I of all things," cried the old knight, interrupting her quickly, "for in truth it seemeth such excellent fooling I would miss it on no account." "Then get thee to the dining-room and hide behind the arras," replied Alice. "That will I straight," answered he, and was going out chuckling mightily at the thought of what fine pastime he should have. "I will be with thee anon," continued the light-hearted girl. "But make no noise, else shalt thou spoil all presently." "Trust me no mouse nigh unto a cat shall show greater quietness.' Then out he went, and made haste to the room she had said. "Wilt go and see how I will use these lovers of mine ?" inquired Alice of her cousin. 66 Prythee ask me not," replied the other, in some sorrowfulness of heart; "I be in no humour for such scenes. Besides, the boy demandeth all my care: I am not sure yet he hath escaped hurt." "Indeed he hath, Bess-there can be no doubt on't," said her cousin, more seriously; "but let it be as thou wilt. I must see these man animals, now they are come here; but as soon as I have got rid of them I will hurry back to thee. So tarry awhile, dear Bess, and put a better heart on it. I am certain sure he will return soon, and then will he win the queen's favour, and every thing will be as thou wouldst have it." Dame Elizabeth only sighed in reply to this, and Alice, kissing of her cheek affectionately, hurried out of the room. At the bottom of the stairs she met with Stephen Shortcake, who was evidently, by the waggish expression of his countenance, one of the conspirators. To him she whispered something, and then entered the dining-room. There was a large arm-chair on each side of the fire, and into one of these she presently sat, with a monstrous demure face, looking exceeding dignified and sedate. "Prythee breathe not so hard, uncle," said she, in a whisper; "thou wilt mar all else." 66 Nay, I will scarce breathe at all-but hush! here cometh one," replied Sir Nicholas, popping of his head out of the arras behind her, and as quickly popping it back again; for at that moment Stephen Shortcake opened the door and announced my Lord Wiseacre: and sure enough my lord made his appearance, with a face as formal and severe as ever; and making of a low bow, walked up to the now solemn Alice with a gravity of deportment that might have become his great-grandfather's ghost. "How fareth it with you, Mistress Alice?" inquired he, exceeding seriously, and took hold of her hand with the air of a doctor about to feel her pulse. "Be it the cold breezes that make you look so bloomingly? Truly it is said, it be an ill wind that bloweth nobody good." "Methinks what you have said is indisputable," replied Alice, very gravely; "and that which cannot be doubted must needs be true." "Indeed, and so it be," observed my lord, with a look of wonderful sagacity, as if it was a truth he was not before aware of. "It doth give me exceeding pleasure to hear you talk so profoundly; but understanding delighteth better than all things, and a wise woman is more precious than gold." "Believe me I affect not the vanities of youth," said she, in a gravity of tone and manner that did almost exceed his. "I have done with such frivolities. There is a time for all things. I mean now to devote myself to the acquiring of what I think is most precious in this world; for is it not said, Wisdom is better than house or land?" "That is it out of all manner of doubt," answered the young nobleman. "Wisdom is a thing that-that is to say, wisdom is-in short, it be beyond all contradiction that wisdom is better than house or land, as you have justly remarked. But there shall be no wisdom without experience, and therefore, if you lack experience, it be plain you cannot have wisdom. Now this experience have I, in some measure. I make no boast of it, Mistress Alice; yet do I say I have as much experience as any man of my inches. And this be the reason. Experience ever came to me naturally, and with little trouble in the learning of it. It hath |