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To all that I see here before me,
The bottom, the top, and the middle ; For music we now must implore you, No wedding, without pipe and fiddle.
If all are in tune,
Pray let it be soon ;
hands should unite,
Your plaudits to me are a treasure,
SCENE I. A room in Lord Minikia's house. I myself yesterday morning in a hackney coach,
with a minx in a pink cardinal; you shall absoEnter LADY MINIKIN and Miss Tutup.
lutely burn yours, Tittup, for I shall never bear Lady Min. It is not, my dear, that I have the to see one of that colour again. least regard for my lord. I had no love for him, Miss Tit. Sure she does suspect me. [Aside.] before I married him; and you know, matrimo- And where was your ladyship, pray, when you ty is no breeder of affection; but it hurts my saw him? pride, that he should neglect me, and run after Lady Min. Taking the air with Colonel Tivy other women.
in his vis à vis. Miss Tit. Ha, ha, ha! how can you be so Miss Tit. But, my dear Lady Minikin, how hypocritical, Lady Minikin, as to pretend to un- can you be so angry, that my lord was hurting easiness at such trifles? but pray, have you your pride, as you call it, in the hackney-coach, made any new discoveries of my lord's gallantry? when you had him so much in your power, in
Lady Min. New discoveries! why, I saw him the vis à vis ?
Lady Alin. What, with my lord's friend, and I cravat nicely twisted down his breast, and thrust my friend's lover ! [Takes her by the hund.] o through his gold button-hole, which looked exfie, Tittup!
actly like my little Barbet's head in his gold colMiss. Tit. Pooh, pooh, love and friendship lar— Niece Tittup,' cries he, drawing himare very fine names, to be sure; but they are self up,' I protest against this manner of conmere visiting acquaintances; we know their ducting yourself both at home and abroad.'– names, indeed, talk of them sometimes, and what are your objections, Sir John?' answerlet them knock at our doors, but we never 1, a little pertly—Various and manifold,' relet them in, you know.
plied he;1 have no time to enumerate par(Looking roguishly at her. ticulars now, but I will venture to prophecy, if Lady Min. I vow, Tittup, you are extremely you keep whirling round the vortex of panthepolite.
ons, operas, festinos, coteries, masquerades, and Bliss Tit. I am extremely indifferent in these all the devilades in this town, your head will be affairs, thanks to my education. We must giddy, down you will fall, lose the name of Lumarry, you know, because other people of fa- cretia, and be called nothing but Tittup ever shion marry; but I should think very meanly after--You'll excuse me, cousin !'-and so he of myself, if, after I was married, I should feel left me. the least concern at all about my husband. Lady Min. O, the barbarian!
Lady Min. I hate to praise myself; and yet I may, with truth, aver, that no woman of qua
Enter GYMP. lity ever had, can have, or will have, so con- Gymp. A card, your ladyship, from Mrs. summate a contempt for her lord, as I have for Pewitt. my most honourable and puissant Earl of Mini- Lady Min. Poor Pewitt! If she can but kin, Vicount Perriwinkle, and Baron Titmouse be seen at public places with a woman of qua-Ha, ha, ha!
lity, she's the happiest of plebeians. Miss Tit. But, is it not strange, Lady Mini
[Reads the card. kin, that merely his being your husband should create such indifference? for certainly, in every • Mrs Pewitt's respects to Lady Minikin, other eye, his lordship has great accomplish- and Miss Tittup; hopes to have the pleasure
of attending them to Lady Filligree's ball this Lady Min. Accomplishments! thy head is evening, Lady Daisy sees masks.' We'll cercertainly turned; if you know of them, pray tainly attend her-Gymp, put some messagelet's have them; they are a novelty, and will cards upon my toilet, I'll send an answer inamuse me.
mediately; and tell one of my footmen, that he Miss Tit. Imprimis, he is a man of quality. must make some visits for me to-day again, and
Lady Min. Which, to be sure, includes all send me a list of those he made yesterday : he the cardinal virtues-poor girl!-go on! must be sure to call at Lady Petiitoes, and if
Miss Tit. He is a very handsome man. she should unluckily be at home, he inust say Lady Min. He has a very bad constitution. that he came to enquire after her sprained anMiss Tit. Ile has wit.
kle. Lady Min. He is a lord, and a little goes a Miss Tit. Ay, ay, give our compliments to her great way.
sprained ankle. Miss 'it. He has great good nature.
Lady Min. That woman's so fat, she'll never Lady Min. No wonder-he's a fool. get well of it, and I am resolved not to call at Miss Tit. And then his fortune, you'll allow- her door myself till I am sure of not finding her
Lady Min. Was a great one-but he games, at home. I am horribly low spirited to day! do and, if fairly, he's undone; if not, he deserves send your colonel to play at chess with me to be hanged-and so, exit my Lord Minikin. since he belonged to you, Titty, I bave taken a And now, let your wise uncle, and my good cou- kind of liking to him ; I like every thing that sin, Sir John Trotley, baronet, enter; where is loves iny Titty.
(Kisses her. he, pray?
Miss Tit. I know you do, my dear lady! Aliss Tit. In his own room, I suppose, read
(Kisses her. ing pamphlets and newspapers against the enor- Lady Min. That sneer I don't like; if she mities of the times. If he stays here a week suspects, I shall hate her! (Aside.) Well, dear lunger, notwithstanding my expectations from Titty, I'll go and write my cards, and dress for him, I shall certainly affront him.
the masquerade; and, if that won't raise my Lady Min. I am a great favourite; but it is spirits, you must assist me to plague my lord a impossible much longer to act up to his very little.
[Erit. righteous ideas of things. Isn't it pleasant to hear Miss Tit. Yes, and I'll plague my lady a lithim abuse every body, and every thing, and yet tle, or I am much mistaken. My lord shall always finishing with a You'll excuse me, cou- know every tittle that has passed: what a poor, sin ? Ha, ha, ha!
blind, half-witted, self-conceited creature this Miss Tit. What do you think the Goth said dear friend and relation of mine is! and what to me yesterday? one of the knots of his tye a fine, spirited, gallant soldier my colonel is! hanging down his left shoulder, and his fringed | My lady Minikin likes him, he likes my fortune;
my lord likes me, and I like my lord; however, Miss Tit. No, no, no, I have no tiine to be
your commanding officer you should be broke,
and then iny maid won't accept of you; so march, Enter COLOxeL Tivy.
colonel !- lookye, sir, I will command before
marriage, and do what I please afterwards, or I Col. Tiry. May I hope, madam, that your bave been well educated io very little purpose. humble servant had some share in your last re
[Erit Miss TITTUP. verie?
Col. Tivy. What a mad devil it is !-Now, if Miss Tit. How is it possible to have the least I had the least affection for the girl, I should be knowledge of Colonel l'ivy, and not make him damnably vext at this !--but she has a fine forthe principal object of one's reflections ?
tune, and I must have her if I can-Tol, lol, Col. Tiry. That man must have very little lol, &c.
[Eril singing feeling ani taste, who is not proud of a place in the thoughts of the finest woman in Europe.
Enter Sir John TROTLEY and Davy. JIiss Tit. O fye, colonel !
[Curtsies, and blushes. Sir John. Hold your tongue, Davy; you talk Col. Tiry. By my honour, madam, I mean like a fool ! what I say!
Davy. It is a fine place, your bonour, and I Miss Tit. By your lionour, colonel ! why will could live here for ever. you pass off your counters to me? don't I know Sir John. More strane for you-live here for ihat you fine gentlemen regard no honour but ever!-what among thieves and pickpockets ! that which is giving at the gaming table, and -What a revolution since my time! the more which indeed ought to be the only honour you I see, the more I've cause for lamentation ; stould make free with?
what a dreadful change has time bronglie about Col. Tiry. How can you, miss, treat me so in twenty years! I should not have known cruelly? have I not absolutely forsworn dice, the place again nor the people-all the signs, mistresses, every thing, since I dared to offer that made so noble an appearance, are all mysplito vou?
taken down-- not a bob or iye-wig to be seen! Hiss Tit. Yes, colonel; and when I dare to all the degrees, from the parade in St. James's receive you, you may return to every thing aguin, Park, to the stool and brush at the corner of and not violate the laws of the present happy every street, have their hair tied up—the mamatrimonial establishment.
son laying bricks, the baker with his basket, the Col. Tiry. Give me but your consent, madam, post-boy crying newspapers, and the doctors and your lite to come
prescribing physic, bave all their hair tied up ! Miss Tit. Do you get my consent, colonel, and that's the reason so many heads are tied up and I'll take care of my life to come.
Miss Tit. O, there are several ways; I am Sir John. And I shall break your head, if it is very good-natured.
tied up! I hate innovations: ail confusion, and Col. Tiry. Are you in the humour now? do distinction the streets now are as -nooth Miss Tii. 'Try me.
as a turnpike road! no rattling and exercize in Col. Tiry. How shall I?
the hackney-coaches; those who ride in them Miss Tii. How shall I !-you a soldier, and are all fast asleep; and they have strings in not know the art military?-how shall 1?--I'll their hands, that the coachinan must pull to teil you how—when you have a subtle, treacher-wake them, when they are to be set downous politic enemy to deal with, never stand what luxury and abomivation! shilly-shally, and lose your time in treaties and Dary. Is it so, your honour ?--'feckins, I like parlies, but cock your hat, draw your sword- it hugely! march, beat drum-dub, dub adub-present, fire, Sir John. But you must hate and detest Lon. pifi, pault-'tis done! they fly, they yield-Vic-don. toris! Victoria!
Running off Dary. How can I manage that, your honour, Col. Tidy. Stay, stay, my dear, dear angel! when there is every thing to delight my eye, and
[Bringing her back. I cherish my heart?
Sir John. 'tis all deceit and delusion! bed all day, sit up all night; if they are silent,
Davy. Such crowding, coaching, carting, and they are gaming; and, if they talk, 'tis eitbor squeezing! such a power of fine sights ! fine scandal or infidelity; and that they may look shops full of fine things! and then such fine il- what they are, their heads are all feather, and luminations all of a row! and such fine dainty round their necks are twisted rattlesnake tipladies in the streets, so civil and so graceless! - pets-0 tempora, O mores! [Erit. they talk of country girls ! these here look more healthy and rosy by half.
SCENE II.-LORD MIxikia's Dressing Room. Sir John. Sirrah, they are prostitutes, and are civil to delude and destroy you: they are
LORD MINIKIN discovered in his powderpainted Jezabels! and they who hearken to ing goun, with JESSA NY and Mignon, them, like Jezabel of old, will go to the dogs! if you dare to look at them, you will be taint
Lord Min. Prithee, Mignon, don't plague ed; and if you speak to them, you are un
me any more! dost think that a nobleman's done.
head has nothing to do but be tortured all Dury. Bless us, bless us !-how does your ho- day under thy infernal fingers? give me my nour know all this !-were they as bad in your
Mig. Ven you loss your monee, my lor, you time?
Sir John. Not by balf, Davy-In my time no goot humour; the devil may dress your chethere was a sort of decency in the worst of wo
veau for me!
Lord Min. That fellow's an impudent rascal! but the harlots, now, watch like tygers but he's a genius, so I must bear with him. men; for their prey, and drag you to their dens of infamy-See, Davy, how they have torn my neck-Our beef and pudding enriches their blood so cloth?
(Sheus his neckcloth. much, that the slaves in a month forget their. Davy. If you had gone civilly, your honour, misery and soup-maigremo, my head! a they would not have hurt you.
chair, Jessamy! I must absolutely change my Sir John. Well, we'll get away as fast as we
wine-merchant : I cannot taste his champaigne without disordering myself for a week! leig
hoDuvy. Not this month, I hope, for I have not
[Sighs. had half my belly-full yet.
Enter Miss TITUP. Sir John. I'll knock you down, Davy, if you grow profigate; you sha’nt go out again to- Miss Tit. What makes you sigh, my lord? night, and to-morrow keep in my room, and stay Lord Min. Because you were so near me, till I can look over my things, and see they don't child.
Miss Tit. Indeed !- I should rather have Davy. Your honour, then, won't keep your thought my lady had been with you-by your word with me?
[Sulkily. looks, my lord, I am afraid fortune jilted you Sir John. Why, what did I promise you? last night. Davy. That i should take sixpen’oth of one. Lord Min. No, faith! our champaigne was of the theatres to-night, and a shilling-place at not good yesterday, and I am vapoured like our the other to-morrow,
English November; but one glance of my Tit. Sir John. Well, well, so I did: is it a moral tup can dispel vapours like-likepiece, Davy?
Miss Tit. Like something very fine to be sure; Duvy. O yes, and written by a clergyman ; it but pray keep your simile for the next time; and is called the Rival Cannanites, or the Tragedy harkye-a little prudence will not be amiss; Mr. of Bragadocia,
Jessamy will thiuk you mad, and me worse. Sir John. Be a good lad, and I won't be worse
[Half aside. than my
word; there's money for you-[Gives Jes. O, pray don't mind me, madain. him some.] but come strait home, for I shall want Lord Min. "Gadso, Jessamy, look out iny doto go to bed.
mino and I'll ring the bell when I want you, Davy. To be sure, your honour-as I am Jes. I shall, my lord. Miss thinks that every to go soon, I'll make a night of it.
body is blind in the house but herself. [Aside, and erit.
[ Aside, and crit. Sir John. This fellow would turn rake and Miss Tit. Upon my word, my lord, you must maccaroni if he was to stay here a week longer be a little more prudent, or we shall become the - Bless me, what dangers are in this town at town talk. every step! O, that I were once settled safe Lord Min. And so I will, uny dear! and, again at Trotley Place! nothing but to save therefore, to prevent surprise, I'll lock the door. my country should bring me back again. My Miss Tit. What do you mean, my lord? niece Lucretia is so be-fashioned and be-de- Lord Min. Prudence, child, prudence! I keep villed, that nothing, I fear, can save her; how- all my jewels under lock and key. ever, to ease my conscience, I must try. But · Miss Tit. You are not in possession, yet, my what can be expected from the young women lord: I can't stay two minutes; I only came to of these times, but sallow looks, wild schemes, tell you, that Lady Minikin siw uis yesterday in saucy words, and loose inorals! They lic a-1 the hackney-coach ; she did not know me, I be