And will, with sympathy, endure

Those evils it would gladly cure.1

The female heart is naturally susceptible, and much influenced by first impressions. Formed for love, and gratefully attached by delicate attentions, but chilled by neglect, and frozen by coldness; by contempt it is estranged, and, by habitual and longcontinued inconstancy, lost.2

The spirit of love has something so extremely fine in it, that it is very often disturbed and lost, by some little accidents, which the careless and unpolite never attend to, until it is past recovery.

3

It is a rule proper to be observed in all occurrences of life, but more especially in the domestic or matrimonial part of it, to preserve always a disposition to be pleased. This cannot be supported but by considering things in their right light, and not as our own fancies or appetites would have them.4

Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species, with design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment, have, in that action, bound themselves to be good-humoured, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other's frailties and perfections, to the end of their lives."

Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid all offences of each other, most especially in the

Cowper (Mutual Forbearance).

3 Spectator, No. 506. 4 Ibid. No. 479.

2 Reference mislaid.

5 Ibid. No. 490.

beginning of their conversation. Every little thing can blast an infant blossom, and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of the vine; but when, by age and consolidation, they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and have, by the warm embraces of the sun and the kisses of heaven, brought forth their clusters, they can endure the storms of the north and the loud noises of the tempest, and yet never be broken.1

With newly married persons, trifles are commonly occasions of great anxiety: contradiction being a thing, so early, wholly unusual, that the smallest instance of it is taken for the highest injury; and it very seldom happens that the man is slow enough in assuming the character of a husband, or the woman quick enough in condescending to that of a wife. It immediately follows, that they think they have been, all the time of their courtship, talking in masks to one another, and therefore begin to act like disappointed people."

You see me - where I stand

Such as I am though, for myself alone,
I would not be ambitious in my wish,
To wish myself much better; yet for you
I would be trebled twenty times myself;

A thousand times more fair, ten thousand times
More rich; that to stand high in your account,
I might in virtues, beauties, livings, friends,
Exceed account: but the full sum of me
Is sum of something; which, to term in gross,

1 Jeremy Taylor (Sermon on the Marriage Ring).

2 Tatler.

Is an unlesson'd girl, unschool'd —

unpractis❜d :

Happy in this, she is not yet so old
But she may learn; happier than this,
She is not bred so dull but she can learn ;
Happiest of all is, that her gentle spirit
Commits itself to yours, to be directed
As from her lord, her governor, her king.1
God, the best maker of all marriages,
Combine our hearts in one!

'Tis not the liquid brightness of those eyes,
That swim with pleasure and delight;
Nor those heavenly arches which arise

O'er each of them to shade their light;

'Tis not that hair, which plays with every wind,
And loves to wanton round thy face;

'Tis not that chin so round, that cheek so fine,
That easy sloping waist, that form divine;
'Tis not the living colours over each

By nature's finest pencil wrought,

To shame the full-blown rose, and blooming peach,
And mock the happy painter's thought:

No:-'tis that gentleness of mind, that love

So kindly answering my desire;

That grace, with which you look, and speak, and move, That thus has set my soul on fire.2

Ah! you seem little to understand how great, how exquisite a pleasure there is in being really beloved! It is impossible that the most beauteous face in nature should raise in me such pleasing

1 Merchant of Venice. (Portia speaks.)

2 Frederick Prince of Wales, on his wife, the clever and amiable Augusta of Saxe Gotha. See Jesse's entertaining account of those

times, lately published.

ideas as when I look upon that excellent woman. If the dear countenance be a little faded, it is chiefly caused by watching me when ill. I tell you sincerely, I have so many obligations to her that I cannot, with any sort of moderation, think of her present state of health. As to what you say of fifteen!—she gives me, every day, pleasures far beyond what I ever knew in the possession of her beauty when I was in the vigour of youth. Every moment brings me fresh instances of her complacency to my inclinations, and her providence in regard to my affairs. Her face is to me much more beautiful than when first I saw it; there is no decay, in any feature, which I cannot trace from the very instant it was occasioned by some anxious concern for my welfare and interests. Thus the love I conceived towards her for what she was, is heightened by my gratitude for what she is. The love of a wife is as much above the idle passion, commonly called by that name, as the loud laughter of buffoons is inferior to the elegant mirth of gentlemen. Oh! she is an inestimable jewel in her examination and management of her household affairs she shows a certain fearfulness to find a fault, which makes her servants obey her like children, and the humblest we have has an ingenuous shame for an offence, not always to be seen in children, in other families.1

1 Tatler, No. 95.; and read the rest of this beautiful number.

Oh marriage!

happiest, easiest, safest state;

How can the savage call it loss of freedom,

Thus to converse with, thus to gaze at

A faithful, beauteous friend?

Blush not, my fair one, that thy love applauds thee,

Nor be it painful to my wedded wife,

That my full heart o'erflows in praise of thee.
Thou art by law, by interest, passion, mine:
Passion and reason join in love of thee.1

1 Haywood's Plays. See Tatler, No. 49.