There a girl goes before the priest; and, certainly, a woman's thought runs before her actions. Orl. So do all thoughts; they are winged. Ros. Now tell me, how long you would have her, after you have possessed her. Orl. For ever, and a day. Ros. Say a day, without the ever: No, no, Orlando ; men are April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more newfangled than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when you are disposed to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou art inclined to sleep. Orl. But will my Rosalind do so? Ros. Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the wiser, the waywarder: Make the doors upon a woman's wit, and it will out at the casement; shut that, and 'twill out at the key-bole stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney. Orl. A man that had a wife with such a wit, be might say,-Wit, whither wilt? Ros. Nay, you might keep that check for it, till you met your wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed. Orl. And what wit could wit have to excuse that? Ros. Marry, to say,-she came to seek you there. You shall never take her without her answer, unless you take her without her tongue. Oh! that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool. Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. Ros. Alas! dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. Orl. I must attend the duke at dinner; by two o'clock I will be with thee again. Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways;—1 knew what you would prove; my friends told me as much, and I thought no less-that flattering tongue of your's won me :-'tis but one cast away, and so,-come, death.-Two o'clock is your hour? Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind. Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful: therefore beware my censure, and keep your promise. Orl. With no less religion, than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind: So adieu, Ros. Well time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let time try: Adieu ! [Exit ORLANDO. Cel. You have simply misused our sex in your love-prate: we must have your doublet and hose plucked over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest. Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded; my affection bath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal. Cel. Or rather bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out. Bar the doors. [Giving a letter. I know not the contents; but, as I guess, Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, And play the swaggerer; bear this, bear all: Were man as rare as phoenix; Od's my will! Sil. No, I protest, I know not the contents; Phebe did write it. Ros. Come, come, you are a fool, She has a buswife's hand: but that's no matter: Ros. Why, 'tis a boisterous and cruel style, Ros. Why, thy godhead laid apart, Warr'st thou with a woman's heart? Did you ever hear such railing ? Whiles the eye of man did woo me, That could do no vengeance to me. Meaning me a beast. If the scorn of your bright eyne + Sil. Call you this chiding? Cel. Alas poor shepherd! Ros. Do not pity him? no he deserves no pity. Wilt thou love such a woman ?-What, to make thee an instrument, and play false strains upon thee not to be endured f-Well, go your way to her, (for I see, love hath made thee a tame snake,) and say this to her :-That if she love me, I charge her to love thee if she will not, I will never have her, unless thou entreat for her. If you be a true lover, bence, and not a word; for here comes more company. [Exit SILVIUS. Enter OLIVER. Oli. Good-morrow, fair one: Pray you, if you know Where, in the purlieus of this forest, stands The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream, Left on your right hand, brings you to the place: But at this hour the house doth keep itself, Oli. Some of my shame; if you will know of me What man I am, and how, and why, and where Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Of female favour, and bestows himself you Cel. I pray you, tell it, Oli. When last the young Orlando parted from you, He left a promise to return again Within an hour; and, pacing through the Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy, Are not The owner of the house I did enquire for? are. And high top bald with dry antiquity, Oli. Orlando doth commend him to you both; The opening of his mouth; but suddenly And to that youth, he calls his Rosalind, A lioness, with udders all drawn dry, Lay couching, head on ground, with cat-like watch, When that the sleeping man should stir; for 'tis To prey on nothing that doth secin as dead: And he did render him the most unnatural Oli. And well he might so do, Ros. But, to Orlando ;-Did he leave him there, Food to the suck'd and hungry lioness? pos'd so: But kindness, nobler ever than revenge, From miserable slumber I awak'd. Cel. Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him? Oli. 'Twas I; but 'tis not 1: I do not shame To tell you what I was, since my conversion So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am. Ros. But, for the bloody napkin ?— Oli. By, and by. When from the first to last, betwixt us two, And cry'd, in fainting, upon Rosalind. He sent me hither, stranger as I am, Cel. There is more in it :-Cousin-Gany- I have: For it is a figure in rhetoric, that drink mede. Oli. Look, he recovers. Ros. I would I were at home. I pray you, will you take him by the arm? Ros. I do so, I confess it. Ah! Sir, a body would think this was well counterfeited: I pray you, tell your brother how well I counterfeited. -Heigh ho! Oli. This was not counterfeit; there is too great testimony in your complexion, that it was a passion of earnest. Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you. being poured out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other: For all your writers do consent, that ipse is he; now you are not ipse, for I am he. Will. Which he, Sir? Touch. He, Sir, that must marry this woman: Therefore, you clown, abandon,-which is in the vulgar, leave,-the society,-which in the boorish is, company,-of this female,-which in the common is, woman,-which together is, abandon the society of this female; or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest; to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and coun-or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; terfeit to be a man. Ros. So I do but, i'faith I should have been a woman by right. Cel. Come, you look paler and paler; pray you, draw homewards :-Good Sir, go with us. Oli. That will I, for I must bear answer How you excuse my brother, Rosalind. Touch. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown By my troth we that have good wits, have much to answer for; we shall be flouting ; we cannot hold. Will. Good even, Audrey. Aud. God ye good even, William. Touch. Good even, gentle friend: Cover thy head, cover thy head; nay, pr'ythee, be covered. How old are you, friend? Will. Five and twenty, Sir. Touch. A ripe age: Is thy name, William ? Touch. A fair name: Wast born i'the forest here? Will. Ay, Sir, I thank God. Touch. Thank God;-a good auswer: Art rich ? Will. 'Faith, Sir, so, so. Touch. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good-and yet it is not; it is but so so, Art thou wise? Will. Ay, Sir, I have a pretty wit. will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a Aud. Do, good William. Enter CORIN. [Exil. Orl. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke, and all his contented followers: Go you, and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my Rosalind. Ros. God save you, brother. Oli. And you, fair sister. Ros. O my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee wear thy heart in a scarf. Orl. It is my arm. Ros. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws of a lion. Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady. Ros. Did young brother tell you how I connterfeited to swoon, when he showed me your handkerchief? Orl. Ay, and greater wonders than that. Ros. Oh! I know where you are :-Nay, 'tis true: there was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of two rams, and Cæsar's thra Touch. Why, thou say'st well. I do now re-sonical brag of-I came, saw, and overcame : member a saying: The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby, that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You do love this maid? For your brother and my sister no sooner met, but they looked; no sooner looked, but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed, but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason, but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or else be incontiTouch. Give me your band: Art thou learned?nent before marriage: they are in the very wrath Will. I do, Sir. Will. No, Sir. of love, and they will together; clubs cannot Touch. Then learn this of me; To have, is to part them. Orl. They shall be married to-morrow; and love you, [7b PHEBE) if I could.-To-morrow I will bid the duke to the nuptial. But, oh! how hitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother happy, in having what he wishes for. Ros. Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for Rosalind? Orl. I can live no longer by thinking. Ros. I will weary you no longer then with idle talking. Know of me then, (for now I speak to some purpose,) that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit: I speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch, I say, I know you are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three years old, conversed with a magician, most profound in this art, and yet not damnable. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, when your brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is not impossible to me, if it ap pear not inconvenient to you, to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without any danger. Orl. Speakest thou in sober meanings? Ros. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say I am a magician: Therefore, put you in your best array, bid your friends: for if will be married to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will. Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE. Look here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of her's. Phe. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness, To show the letter that I writ to you. Ros. I care not, if I have: it is my study, To seem despiteful and ungentle to you: You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd; Look upon him, love him; he worships you. Phe. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love. Sil. It is to be all made of sighs and tears; And so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman. Sil. It is to be all made of faith and ser vice ; And so am I for Phebe. Phe. And I for Ganymede. Orl. And I for Rosalind. Ros. And I for no woman Sil. It is to be all made of fantasy. All made of passion, and all made of wishes; All humbleness, all patience, and impatience, Phe. And so am I for Ganymede Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? you? To ROSALIND. Sil. If this be so, why blame you me to love [To PHEBE. Orl. If this be so, why blame you me to love you? Ros. Who do you speak to, why blame you me to love you? Orl. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear. Ros. Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the bowling of Irish wolves against the moon.—! will help you, [To SILVIUS] if I can :-I would • Invite. meet me all together.-I will marry you, [To PHEBE] if ever I marry woman, and I'll be married to-morrow:-I will satisfy you, [To ORLANDO] if ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow:-I will content you, [To SILVIUS] if what pleases you contents you, and you shall be married to-morrow.-As you, [To ORLANDO] love Rosalind, meet; as you, (To SILVIUS] love Phebe, meet; And as I love no woman, I'll meet.-So fare you well; I have left you commands. Sil. I'll not fail if I live. And therefore take the present time, Touch. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no greater matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable. 1 Page. You are deceived, Sir; we kept time, we lost not our time. Touch. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear such a foolish song. God be with you; and God mend your voices! Come, Aud[Exeunt, rey. SCENE IV.-Another part of the Forest. Enter DUKE, senior, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA. Duke S. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised? A married woman 770 Orl. I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not; A those that fear they hope, and know they fear. Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE. Ros. Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd: You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, [To the DUKE. You will bestow her on Orlando here? Ros. And you say, you will have ner, when I Orl. That would I, were 1 Phe. So is the bargain. Ros. You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she Ros. I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke, to give your daughter ; Touch. According to the fool's bolt, Sir, andt such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause ? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed ;Bear your body more seeming, Audrey :-as I did dislike the cut of a certain thus, Sir. courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut wel!, he was in the mind it was: This is called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: This is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: This is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well eut, he would answer, I spake not true: This is called the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: This is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so to the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O Sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners: [ will name you the degrees. The first, the ReYou your's, Orlando, to receive his daughter :-tort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me ; Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd :Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her, If she refuse me :-and from hence I go, To make these doubts all even. [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA. Methought he was a brother to your daughter : Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Here the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome: the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, aud swore brothers. Your If is the only peacemaker; much virtue in If. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit. clothes; and CELIA. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's these couples are coming to the ark! comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome: This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I bave so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. at any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady: I have been politic with my friend, smooth with my enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en_up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause ?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild you, Sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, Sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks :-A poor virgin, Sir, an ill favoured thing, Sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, to take that that no man else will: Rich honesty owells like a miser, Sir, in a poor-house as your pearl, in your foul oyster. Duke S. By ny faith, he is very swift and sententious. A stately solemn dance. Still Music. Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven, Good duke, receive thy daughter, That thou might'st join her hand with his, Whose heart within her bosom is. Ros. To you I give myself, for I am your's. To you I give myself, for I am your's. Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Phe. If sight and shape be true, Ros I'll have no father, if you he not he : [TO DUKE S. I'll have no husband, if you be not he : [TO ORLANDO. Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. • Seemly. [To PHEEE. A ridiculous treatise Of Honour and Honourable Quarrels," by Vincentio Saviolo, 1594 Shakspeare satirizes the mode of duelling then prevalent, very sur tingly this scene |