Monarchy, than they, who once laid claim to it themselves, notwithstanding he turns all Fighting into a Jeft; and his Story is no less than a moft accomplish'd Libel on all the Soldiers of Christendom.

It were to be wifh'd, however, the witty Spaniard had infected only his own Countrymen; but it is to be fear'd, alas! the Poifon has been tranfplanted too far in fo fhort a time; and that it has taken but too deep a Root with too many of their (once renown'd) Neighbours; nay, and even of our own Nation too: For I have been credibly inform'd, of one of the fenior Fellows of a certain College in Oxford, (too well known to need nameing) who having imbibed a fond Opinion, that whatever was the last Employment of a Soul at the Point of Death, would hold the fame even to the Day of Judgment. He, in purfuance of fuch an Opinion, when he apprehended himself near his last Moments, made all the haste his Extremity of Age would allow, to turn over the Leaves of Don Quixot; as if he courted no better an Employm nt for his Soul, than to be engaged in that comical Hiftory until the Day of Judgment. What fhall I fay elfe to the applauded Satire against Man, of one of our admir'd Wits, wherein he has bid Defiance to our Profeffion, and to all Mankind at once, in telling us, That

All Men wou'd be Cowards if they durst,

but only this, That if Cowards bid fo fair for univerfal Monarchy, the Spaniards even yet may hope not to be excluded. But this, alas! is but the Gospel of a Poet, who was supposed to have faid this in Defence of himself, who lay under fome Scandal of that kind.

But what do we talk of fingle Perfons, when of late there is rifen up a new Sect among us, who make Confcience of Cowardice, and intail Religion

upon

upon it; I mean the fneaking Anabaptifts, who are proper Patrons for fuch a Doctrine as this, That all Wars are unlawfull. I fhall not prefs them with the heroick Description of the War-horfe in the Book of Job, because I hear that has not the Authority of Canonical Scripture with them, but is reputed no less apocryphal than our Profeffion. But what do they fay to the Practice of one of the first Reformers abroad; Zuinglius, who fcrupled not to be a Captain, and died bravely in his Calling at the Battle of Zurich; leaving an Example behind him, which thofe of the Helvetian Reformation have followed close ever fince, as all Republicks tafte much of their first Beginnings, fince the Swiss-Cantons are in effect but a Commonwealth of Soldiers who by hiring of War abroad among their Neighbour Princes, have wifely found the way to free their Country from Thieves, as alfo from the unhappy and difmal Effects of civil Wars at home (as they are generally call'd) though I think for the most Part vey rude and fharp, and indeed the worft Sort of all.

Where are they now that accufe Rapine and Poverty, as the natural and immediate Results of War; fince it appears, by a juster Calculation of Aftrology, that Beggars enter'd into all Chriftian Countries, upon the Diffolution of Slaves; as even the Republick of Switzers affords us a glorious Instance in the other Respect, fince no Commonwealth furnishes out more Soldiers, or has fewer Thieves.

I take Mr. Hobbs to be a far better Divine than any of the Anabaptifts, in his Opinion, That the State of Nature is a State of War, where every Man's Sword is against another. Nor do I think his other Opinion, That Dominion is founded in Power, altogether fo ill-grounded and extravagant, fince it cuts off fo many nice Difputes about Princes Titles, and the Rights and Justice, or Lawfulness of their Wars,

which

which feems fo unreasonable to engage Men of our Profeffion in, that it appears a Task much fitter for an Army of Cafuifts than Soldiers.

Did the Anabaptifts look for Miracles, their condemning all Camps as unlawful, might merit the fame Excufe, as their condemning all Colleges and Schools, as vain and fuperfluous, from their Pretences to Infpiration; for fo the Argument would hold alike fair, and concluding for banifhing both Soldiers and Scholars out of the World; and as they make one Step to make Dunces by Divine Right for Company.

I deny not but that I gaze often, as I ought, with profound Reverence and Admiration, upon Sampson's killing Heaps upon Heaps, with the Jawbone of an Afs; and upon the Walls of Jericho falling flat before the Trumpets of Rams-horns; and upon Gideon's miraculous Campaign with his Three hundred Men, arm'd with their Lamps lighted, and their Pitchers in their Hands. Thefe I look upon as very extraordinary and magnificent Scenes in that Age of Miracles: But now that these miraculous Militia's are ceafed, which it may be were peculiar to that State, I frankly own, That the Sword of God and Gideon is to me more intelligible; and I ingeniously confefs myself much of the fame Belief of that Spanish Marfhal, who us'd to fay, He trufted in God and great Squadrons.

THE

THE

CHAPLAINS PETITION

TO THE

HONOURABLE HOUSE For Redress of GRIEVANCES.

By one of the Camp Chaplains.

I.

INCE the Ladies 'gainst Men
Have to Paper put Pen

SHa

By way of moft humble Petition,
In hope your good Pleasure

Will once be at Leisure

To mend their now fcurvy Condition.
II.

And fince you allow

That impertinent Crew
Your Patience to weary and vex,
With a Thing of no Moment,

That has fmall Weight, or none in't,

But's as idle and light as their Sex.
III.

We, humble Famelicks,
Divinity's Reliques,

In plain English, Chaplains Domestick;
To make known our Grievance
For you to relieve once,

On your Door do our earnest Request stick.

IV.

Viz. Be it enacted,

That as we've contracted,

Our Salaries may be paid us:

That when we're difmift ill
We may not go whistle,

As an ord❜nary Footman or Maid do's.

C

V. For

1

V.

For as to the Land all,

It will be a Scandal

To fee Sons of Levi go Thread-bare;

Even fo to be fure,

If the Paftor is poor,

His Flock will ne'er greet him with Head bare.

VI.

Next, when we've faid Grace, Let's at Table have Place, And not fculk among the Waiters: Or come in with the Fruit

To give Thanks, and fneak out, To dine upon half-empty Platters.

VII.!

But befides Store of Difhes
(One Part of our Wishes)
To fortify Maw Sacerdotal:
Elemofinary Funk,

And leave to be Drunk,
We humbly defire you to vote all.

VIII.

Item, Pray make us able

To command Steed in Stable, When we are difpos'd ad ridendum: And if we want Boots,

Whips, Spurs, or Surtoots,

Oblige furly Groom ftrait to lend them.

IX.

Nor let our great Patrons,
Or their ruling Matrons,
Read the Butlers a Juniper Lecture,
If fometimes they pass

To our Hands a ftoln Glafs,

Or fome little Orts of Confecture.

X. When