I then courted a second widow, and am at a lofs to this day how I came to mifs her, for fhe had often commended ⚫ my perfon and behaviour. Her maid • indeed told me one day, that her miftrefs had faid fhe never faw a gentleman with fuch a fpindle pair of legs as Mr. Honeycomb.

After this I laid fiege to four heireffes fucceffively, and being a handfome young dog in thofe days, quickly made a breach in their hearts; but I do not ⚫ know how it came to pafs, though I ⚫feldom failed of getting the daughter's confent, I could never in my life get the old people on my fide.

I could give you an account of a thoufand other unfuccefsful attempts, particularly of one which I made fome years fince upon an old woman, whom I had certainly borne away with flying colours, if her relations had not come pouring in to her affiftance from all parts of England; nay, I believe I fhould have got her at laft, had not • the been carried off by a hard froß.' As Will's tranfitions are extremely

quick, he turned from Sir Roger, and applying himself to me, told me there was a paffage in the book I had confidered laft Saturday, which deferved to be writ in letters of gold: and taking out a pocket Milton, read the following lines, which are part of one of Adam's fpeeches to Eve after the fall. -Oh! why did God,

Creator wife! that peopled highest heav'n

With fpirits mafculine, create at laft
This novelty on earth, this fair defect
Of nature? and not fill the world at once
With men, as angels, without feminine?
Or find fome other way to generate
Mankind? this mischief had not then be-
fall'n,

And more that fhall befal, innumerable
Disturbances on earth through female fnares,
And ftrait conjunction with this fex: for either
He never fhall find out fit mate; but fuch
As fome misfortune brings him, or mistake;
Or, whom he wishes moft, fhall feldom gain
Through her perverfenefs; but fhall fee her
By a far worse: or if the love, withheld
gain'd
By parents; or his happief choice too late
Shall meet already link'd, and wedlock-bound
To a fell adverfary, his hate or shame :
Which infinite calamity fhall caufe

To human life, and houshold peace confound.

Sir Roger liftened to this paffage with great attention, and defiring Mr. Honeycomb to fold down a leaf at the place, and lend him his book, the knight put it up in his pocket, and told us that he would read over thofe verfes again before he went to bed.

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HOR. EPIST. XVII. L. I. v. 43.

MR. SPECTATOR,

T HERE is an evil under the fun which has not yet come within your fpeculation, and is, the cenfure, dif

CREECH.

X

efteem, and contempt, which fome young fellows meet with from particular perfons, for the reasonable methods they take to avoid them in general. This is by appearing in a better drefs than may feem to a relation regularly com fiftent with a fmall fortune; and therefore may occafion a judgment of a fuieable extravagance in other particulars: but the difadvantage with which the man of narrow circumstances acts and fpeaks, is fo feelingly fet forth in a litthe book called The Chriftian Hero, that

the

the appearing to be otherwife is not only pardonable but neceffary. Every one knows the hurry of conclufions that are made in contempt of a perfon that appears to be calamitous, which makes it very excufable to prepare one's felf for the company of those that are of a fuperior quality and fortune, by appearing to be in a better condition than one is, fo far as fuch appearance fhall not make us really of worse.

It is a juftice due to the character of one who fuffers hard reflections from any particular perfon upon this account, that fuch perfons would enquire into his manner of spending his time; of which, though no further information can be had than that he remains fo many hours in his chamber, yet if this is cleared, to imagine that a reasonable creature wrung with a narrow fortune does not make the beft ufe of this retirement, would be a conclufion extremely uncharitable. From what has, or will be faid, I hope no confequence can be extorted, implying, that I would have any young fellow fpend more time than the common leifure which his ftudies require, or more money than his fortune or allowance may admit of, in the pur. fuit of an acquaintance with his betters: for as to his time, the grofs of that ought to be facred to more fubftantial acquiitions; for each irrevocable moment of which he ought to believe he ftands religiously accountable. And as to his drefs, I fhall engage myself no further than in the modeft defence of two plain fuits a year: for being perfectly fatiffied in Eutrapelus's contrivance of making a Mohoc of a man, by prefenting him with laced and embroidered fuits, I would by no means be thought to controvert the conceit, by infinuating the advantages of foppery. It is an affertion which admits of much proof, that a ftranger of tolerable fenfe, dreffed like a gentleman, will be better received by thofe of quality above him, than one of much better parts, whofe dress is regulated by the rigid notions of frugality. A man's appearance falls with in the cenfure of every one that fees him; his parts and learning very few are judges of; and even upon thefe few, they cannot at first be well intruded; for policy and good-breeding will counfel him to be referved among ftrangers, and to fupport himself only by the common fpirit of converfation. Indeed

among the injudicious, the words delicacy, idiom, fine images, ftructure of periods, genius, fire, and the reft, made ufe of with a frugal and comely gravity, will maintain the figure of immenfe reading, and the depth of criticifm.

All gentlemen of fortune, at least the young and middle-aged, are apt to pride themfelves a little too much upon their drefs, and confequently to value others in fome meafure upon the fame confideration. With what confufion is a man of figure obliged to return the civilities of the hat to a perfon whofe air and attire hardly intitle him to it? for whom nevertheless the other has a particular efteem, though he is afhamed to have it challenged in fo public a manner. It must be allowed, that any young fellow that affects to drefs and appear genteelly, might with artificial management fave ten pounds a year; as inftead of fine holland he might mourn in fackcloth, and in other particulars be proportionably fhabby: but of what fervice would this fum be to avert any misfortune, whilft it would leave him deferted by the little good acquaintance he has, and prevent his gaining any other? As the appearance of an easy fortune is neceffary towards making one, I do not know but it might be of advantage fometimes to throw into one's difcourfe certain exclamations about Bank Stock, and to fhew a marvellous furprife upon it's fall, as well as the moit affected triumph upon it's rife. The veneration and refpect which the practice of all ages has preferved to appearances, without doubt fuggefted to our tradesmen that wife and politic cuftom, to apply and recommend themselves to the public by all thofe decorations upon their fign-pofts and houfes, which the most eminent hands in the neighbourhood can furnish them with. What

can be more attractive to a man of letters, than that immenfe erudition of all ages and languages, which a skilful bookfeller, in conjunction with a painter, fhall image upon his column and the extremities of his fhop? The fame fpirit of maintaining a handfome appearance reigns among the grave and folid apprentices of the law, (here I could be particularly dull in proving the word apprentice to be fignificant of a barriter) and you may easily diftinguith who has moft lately made his preten 42

fions

fions to bufinefs, by the whiteft and moft ornamental frame of his window: if indeed the chamber is a ground room, and has rails before it, the finery is of neceflity more extended, and the pomp of business better maintained. And what can be a greater indication of the dignity of drefs, than that burdenfome finery which is the regular habit of our judges, nobles, and bishops, with which upon certain days we fee them incumbered? And though it may be faid, this is awful, and neceffary for the dignity of the ftate, yet the wifeft of them have been remarkable, before they arrived at their prefent ftations, for being very • well-dreffed perfons.' As to my own part, am near thirty; and fince I left fchool have not been idle, which is a modern phrase for having studied hard. I brought off a clean fyftem of moral

I

philofophy, and a tolerable jargon of metaphyfics, from the univerfity; fince that, I have been engaged in the clearing part of the perplexed ftile and matter of the law, which fo hereditarily defcends to all it's profeffors. To all which fevere ftudies I have thrown in, at proper interims, the pretty learning of the claffics. Notwithstanding which, I am what Shakespeare calls a fellow of no mark or likelihood;' which makes me understand the more fully, that fince the regular methods of making friends and a fortune by the mere force of a profeffion is fo very flow and uncertain, a man should take all reafon. able opportunities, by enlarging a good acquaintance, to court that time and chance which is faid to happen to every

man.

VIRG. EN. VII. v. 514.

Hlave lately received the following letter from a country gentleman.

MR. SPECTATOR,

THE night before I left London I went to fee a play called The Humorous Liewenaut. Upon the rifing of the curtain I was very much furprized with the great concert of catcalls which was exhibited that evening, and began to think with myfelf that I had made a mistake, and gone to a mutic-meeting inftead of the playhouse. It appeared indeed a little odd to me to fee to many perfons of quality of both fexes affembled together at a kind of caterwawling; for I cannot look upon that performance to have been any thing better, whatever the musicians themfelves might think of it. As I had no ac quaintance in the house to ask questions of, and was forced to go out of town early the next morning, I could not learn the fecret of this matter. What I would therefore defire of you, is, to give me fome account of this ftrange inftrument which I found the company called a cat-call; and particularly to let

T

me know whether it be a piece of mufic lately come from Italy. For my own part, to be free with you, I would rather hear an English fiddle: though I durft rot fhew my diflike whilst I was in the playhoufe, it being my chance to fit the very next man to one of the performers. I am, Sir, your most affectionate friend and fervant,

JOHN SHALLOW, Efq.

In compliance with Squire Shallow's request, I defign this paper as a differtation upon the cat-call. In order to make myself a mafter of the fubject, I purchafed one the beginning of last week, though not without great difficulty, being informed at two or three toyshops that the players had lately bought them all up. I have fince confulted many learned antiquaries in relation to it's original, and find them very much divided among themselves upon that particular. A fellow of the Royal Society, who is my good friend, and a great proficient in the mathematical part of mufic, concludes from the fimplicity of it's make, and the uniformity of it's

found,

ound, that the cat-call is older than any of the inventions of Jubal. He obferves very well, that mufical intruarments took their firft rife from the notes mof birds, and other melodious animals; And what,' fays he, was more natural than for the first ages of man'kind to imitate the voice of a cat that lived under the fame roof with them?" He added, that the cat had contributed more to harmony than any other animal; as we are not only beholden to her for this wind inftrument, but for our ftring-mufic in general.

Another virtuofo of my acquaintance will not allow the cat-call to be older than Thefpis, and is apt to think it appeared in the world foon after the ancient comedy; for which reason it has ftill a place in our dramatic entertainments. Nor muft I here omit what a very curious gentleman, who is lately returned from his travels, has more than ence affured me, namely, that there was lately dug up at Rome the ftatue of a Momus, who holds an inftrument in his right-hand very much refembling our modern cat-call.

There are others who afcribe this invention to Orpheus, and look upon the cat-call to be one of thofe instruments which that famous musician made ufe of to draw the beafts about him. It is certain, that the roafting of a cat does not call together a greater audience of that fpecies than this inftrument, if dexterously played upon in proper time and place.

But notwithstanding thefe various and learned conjectures, I cannot forbear thinking that the cat-call is originally a piece of English mufic. It's refemblance to the voice of fome of our Britifh fongfters, as well as the ufe of it, which is peculiar to our nation, confirms me in this opinion. It has at leaft received great improvements among us, whether we confider the inftrument it. self, or those several quavers and graces which are thrown into the playing of it. Every one might be fenfible of this, who heard that remarkable overgrown cat-call which was placed in the centre of the pit, and prefided over all the reft at the celebrated performance lately exhibited in Drury Lane.

Having faid thus much concerning the original of the cat-call, we are in the next place to confider the ufe of it. The cat-call exerts itself to most advantage

1

in the British theatre: it very much improves the found of nonfenfe, and often goes along with the voice of the actor who pronounces it, as the violin or harpsichord accompanies the Italian recitativo.

It has often fupplied the place of the ancient chorus, in the words of Mr. ***. In fhort, a bad poet has as great an antipathy to a cat-call, as many people have to a real cat.

Mr. Collier, in his ingenious Efay upon Mufic, has the following paffage.

I believe it is poffible to invent an inftrument that fhall have a quite contrary effect to thofe martial ones now in ufe: an inftrument that fhail fink

the fpirits, and thake the nerves, and 'curdle the blood, and infpire defpair, and cowardice and confternation, at a furprising rate. It is probable the roaring of lions, the warbling of cats and fcreech-owls, together with a mixture of the howling of dogs, judiciously imitated and compounded, 'might go a great way in this invention. Whether fuch anti-mufic as this might not be of fervice in a camp, I fhall leave to the military men to confider.'

What this learned gentleman fuppofes in fpeculation, I have known actually verified in practice. The catcall has ftruck a damp into generals, and frighted heroes off the ftage. At the first found of it I have feen a crowned head tremble, and a prince's fall into fits. The Humorous Lieutenant himfelf could not ftand it; nay, I am told that even Almanzor looked like a mouse, and trembled at the voice of this terrifying inftrument.

As it is of a dramatic nature, and peculiarly appropriated to the stage, I can by no means approve the thought of that angry lover, who after an unfuccefsful pursuit of fome years, took leave of his mistress in a ferenade of cat-calls.

I must conclude this paper with the account I have lately received of an ingenious artift, who has long studied this inftrument, and is very well verfed in all the rules of the drama. He teaches to play on it by book, and to expreís by it the whole art of criticifm. He has his bafs and his treble cat-call, the former for tragedy, the latter for comedy; only in tragi-comedies they may both play together in concert. He has a 42 2 particular