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The TATLER. [N° 9. From Thurfd. Apr. 28. to Saturd. Apr. 30.1709.

ΤΗ

Will's Coffee-houfe, April 28.

HIS Evening we were entertained with The Old Batchelor, a Comedy of deferved Reputation. In the Character which gives Name to the Play, there is excellently reprefented the Reluctance of a battered Debauchee to come into the Trammels of Order and Decency: He neither languishes nor burns, but frets for Love. The Gentlemen of more regular Behaviour, are drawn with much Spirit and Wit, and the Drama introduced by the Dialogue of the firft Scene with uncommon, yet natural Conversation. The Part of Fondlewife is a lively Image of the unfeasonable Fondness of Age and Impotence. But instead of fuch agreeable Works as thefe, the Town has this half Age been tormented with Infects, called Eafie Writers, whofe Abilities Mr. Wycherly one Day described excellently well in one Word: That, faid he, among thefe Fellows is called Eafy Writing, which any one may easily write. Such Jantie Scribblers are fo juftly laughed at for their Sonnets on Phillis and Chloris, and Fantastical Defcriptions in 'em, that an ingenious Kinsman of mine, of the

Family of the Staffs, Mr. Humphrey Wagstaff by Name, has, to avoid their Strain, run into a Way perfectly new, and described Things exactly as they happen: He never forms Fields, or Nymphs, or Groves, where they are not, but makes the Incidents just as they really appear. For an Example of it; I ftole out of his Manuscript the following Lines: They are a Description of the Morning, but of the Morning in Town; nay, of the Morning at this End of the Town, where my Kinfman at prefent lodges.

Now hardly here and there an Hackney-Coach
Appearing, fhow'd the Ruddy Morn's Approach.
Now Betty from her Master's Bed had flown,
And foftly ftole to difcompofe her own.
The Slipfhod Prentice from his Mafter's Door,
Had par'd the Street, and sprinkled round the

(Floor.
Now Moll had whirl'd her Mop with dextrous
Prepar'd to fcrub the Entry and the Stairs. (Airs,
The Youth with broomy Stumps began to trace
The Kennel Edge, where Wheels had worn the Place.
The Smallcoal-Man was heard with Cadence deep,
Till drown'd in fhriller Notes of Chimney-fweep.
Duns at his Lordship's Gate began to meet ;
And Brickduft Moll had fcream'd through half a
The Turnkey now his Flock returning fees, (Street.
Duly let out a Nights to fteal for Fees.
The watchful Bailiffs take their filent Stands;
And School-boys lag with Satchels in their Hands.

All

All that I apprehend is, that Dear Numps will be angry I have published these Lines not that he has any Reason to be ashamed of 'em, but for Fear of those Rogues, the Bane to all excellent Performances, the Imitators. Therefore, before-hand, I bar all Descriptions of the Evening; as, a Medley of Verses fignifying, Grey-Peas are now cried warm: That Wenches now begin to amble round the Paffages of the Play-houfe: Or of Noon; as,That fine Ladies and great Beaus are just yawning out of their Beds and Windows in Pall-Mall, and fo forth. I forewarn alfo all Perfons from encouraging any Draughts after my Coufin; and foretell any Man who fhall to imitate him, that he will be very infipid. go about The Family Stock is embarked in this Design, and we will not admit of Counterfeits: Dr.Anderfon and his Heirs enjoy his Pills, Sir William Read has the Cure of Eyes, and Monfieur Rofelli can only cure the Gout. We pretend to none of thefe Things; but to examine who and who are together, to tell any mistaken Man he is not what he believes he is, to diftinguish Merit, and expofe falfe Pretences to it, is a Liberty our Family has by Law in 'em, from an Inter-marriage with a Daughter of Mr. Scoggin the famous Droll of the last Century. This Right I design to make use of; but will not encroach upon the above-mentioned Adepts, or any other. At the fame Time I fhall take all the Privileges I may, as an Englishman, and will lay hold of the late A&t of Natu ralization

ralization to introduce what I fhall think fit from France. The Ufe of that Law may, I hope, be extended to People the polite World with new Characters, as well as the Kingdom it felf with new Subjects. Therefore an Author of that Nation, called Le Bruyere, I shall make bold with on fuch Occafions. The last Perfon I read of in that Writer, was, Lord Timon. Timon, fays my Author, is the most generous of all Men; but is fo hurried away with that ftrong Impulse of Beftowing, that he confers Benefits without Distinction, and is Munificent without laying Obligations. For all the Unworthy, who receive from him, have fo little Senfe of this noble Infirmity, that they look upon themfelves rather as Partners in a Spoil, than Partakers of a Bounty. The other Day, coming into Paris, I met Timon going out on Horfeback, attended only by one Servant. It ftruck me with a fudden Damp, to fee a Man of fo excellent a Difpofition, and that understood making a Figure fo very well, fo much fhortened in his Retinue. But paffing by his House, I saw his great Coach break to Pieces before his Door, and, by a strange Inchantment, immediately turned into many different Vehicles. The first was a very pretty Chariot, into which step'd his Lordship's Secretary. The fecond was hung a little heavier; into that ftrutted the fat Steward. In an Inftant followed a Chaise, which was entered by the Butler. The rest of the Body and Wheels were forthwith changed into Go-carts, and ran

away

away with by the Nurfes and Brats of the rest of the Family. What makes these Misfortunes in the Affairs of Timon the more aftonishing, is, That he has a better understanding than those who cheat him; fo that a Man knows not which more to wonder at, the Indifference of the Master, or the Impudence of the Servant.

White's Chocolate-house, April 29.

It is Matter of much Speculation among the Beaus and Oglers, what it is that can have made fo fudden a Change, as has been of late observed, in the whole Behaviour of Paftorella, who never fate still a Moment till fhe was Eighteen, which fhe has now exceeded by Two Months. Her Aunt, who has the Care of her, has not been always fo rigid as fhe is at this prefent Date; but has fo good a 'Sense of the Frailty of Woman, and Falfhood of Man, that she refolved on all Manner of Methods to keep Paftorella, if poffible, in Safety, against her felf, and all her Admirers. At the fame Time the good Lady knew by long Experience, that a gay Inclination, curbed too rafhly, would but run to the greater Exceffes for that Reftraint: Therefore intended to watch her, and take fome Opportunity of ingaging her infenfibly in her own Interefts, without the Anguish of an Admonition. You are to know then, That Mifs, with all her Flirting and Ogling, had alfo naturally a ftrong Curiofity in her, and was the greatest Eaves-Dropper breathing. Parifatis (for fo her prudent Aunt is called) obferved this Hu

mour,