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you not cherish it? Balaam is your quantity, and in quality worthless) all weapon, and why should ye not use animated with the same beliefall it? Ye are asses, and why should ye born and nursed in the same princi. not bray ?
ples-all ready, at a moment's warnGive me abuse as much as you will ing, to mount and draw for the proby all means--but one thing only I tection of those institutions, which, ask of you: utter no falsehoods--speak with unceasing pertinacity, you have not that which is not. Abuse me as assailed for twenty years, which, God much as you please for being a Tory, be praised, you have as yet ineffectually but on no account deny that I am one assailed and which, I trust, will form when I say I am. You are well aware the happiness and glory of our chilin your own secret hearts, that there dren's children, long after it shall have are such beings as conscientious To- been forgotten that such a thing as the ries. Good heavens ! how you would Edinburgh Review ever existed, to say leap and skip, could ye persuade your- nothing of you and the like of you, selves for one single moment that there that are no better than disgraces to the are not. There is no need to fight Review, such as it is. about mere names. You are well But I have no intention to enter inaware, to your woe and sorrow, and to general disquisition--it does not utter confusion of face, that by far the suit me; and I am aware of my own greater part of the talent, and virtue, place, however different the case may and property of the nation, is steadfast- be with those I am encountering. ly arrayed against your Radico-Whig- All I had in view when I took up gish system; and that, could the sensi- my pen, was to rebuke you for the ble men of Great Britain and Ireland impudence of one or two 'specific asbe polled upon such a question, the sertions which you have made, derovotes, to mark you out as enemies of the gating, in a very important manner, peace and honour of the land, would from my credibility as a historian and exceed those in behalf of you by num- a collector of historical monuments. bers without number numberless. This And to this I would fain confine mye you know. In case you did not know self-but how is it possible I should or believe it before, I tell you now, pass over all that malicious trash you and you must now know it, that I am have heaped together about Jacobitism one of the firmest of those, by what- (poor Jacobitism !) at the threshold ever name you may choose to call of your article ? You surely are not them, that understand, and despise, serious, when you accuse me of being and execrate your system of belief, a serious defender of the doctrines of or rather, I should say, of disbelief, Jacobitism. You do not surely beboth religious and political. I am not lieve in your heart, that I think the only one of the firmest of the adhere majority of the British nation were in ents of the adverse cause now, but I the wrong, when they placed the crown have been all along one of the most on the head of the first of the present consistent. To your limited percep- august family. You would not have tion it may indeed appear a very extra- the face to say that it is so, if you ordinary and unintelligible affair, that were asked the question in any private a man born and bred in the bosom of company: and yet you have the authe people-a shepherd on the hills of dacity to put down that statement Ettrick, should avow himself to have slap-dash, and without the vestige of been, from his earliest days, a scorner authority—without either rhyme or of those low Aatteries with which you reason, as I may say—in the Edinare accustomed to court the applause burgh Review. i and all my kindred of the vulgar-a believer in the hon- have always loved and honoured the our of the aristocracy, and a lover of protestant succession; and if you will the monarchy of his native land. Yet look into my Brownie of Bodsbeck, the thing, most unhappy Reviewer, is you will perhaps see enough to satisfy even so: and, what is more, I live here you, that I am neither a papist, nor in a beautiful, wild, and romantic region an approver of persecutions either ciof the land, the inhabitants of which, vil or religious. But, sir, although I high and low-Scotts, Pringles, Bal- am neither a papist nor a believer in lantynes, Brydens, Laidlaws, and the old doctrine of Jus Divinum, ! Hoggs are all (I may say all, for have that about me that makes me feel the exceptions are imperceptible in great respect for the character of a conscientious papist, and what you to him, three sons high in his Majesprobably esteem a still more odious ty's service, all as gallant soldiers as character, that of a conscientious ever drew sword under the House of Jacobite also. I have no hesitation, Brunswick. and no shame, in making the confes- Another story I tell of his late Masion; and a similar confession, what- jesty is contradicted with equal pith ever you may say to the contrary, was and brevity by this manful Reviewer ; made by the late lamented venerated and yet it is equally true, although sovereign of these realms, King George just at this moment I do not feel myself III. himself. And here. I come at at liberty to give its pedigree in the once to the point with you. I say in same manner. It refers to his Majesty my book, “ His Majesty having been having apologised, to some Scottish told of a gentleman of family and for- gentlemen, for calling the unfortunate tune in Perthshire, who had not only Chevalier de St George by the name refused to take the oath of allegiance of “the Pretender," saying,
“ Prince to him, but had never permitted him Charles Stuart I mean." His late to be named as king in his presence: Majesty did say these words and * Carry my compliments to him,' said what is more, I believe it is pretty well the king but no-what-stop-no; known that his present Majesty is ac-, he may perhaps not receive my com- customed to speak of the same unhappliments as King of England-give py person in terms of equal respect. him the Elector of Hanover's compli- And after all, say what you will, Mr ments, and tell him that he respects Radical, will you deny that Charles the steadiness of his principles.” Now, Edward was entitled to be called what does my Reviewer say to this prince? Do you hold the blood of a story? Why, truly, it throws him into hundred kings for nothing, mere noa perfect fume, and he swears his late thing? Do you think the grandson Majesty was no more capable of make of James II. was not, in courtesy, ening such a speech “ than Mr Pitt was titled to be mentioned in some other of dying with Oh! my country! on more respectful style than a person of his lips."
plebeian birth-a mere terræ filius Whether Mr Pitt died with Oh! like me, for example, or like yourself, my country! on his lips or not, I can. Mr Reviewer? It is impossible that not pretend to say, because I am in a you will hold up your face to such a solitary place here, and have no means foolish proposition. If you do, your of scrutinizing the facts; but I think very friends will laugh at you, and no honest man can doubt that he died perhaps whistle “the Deil took away as he had lived, with Oh! my coun- the Exciseman," or some other well try! in his heart. As for the story known comical and derisory tune in about good King George the Third, your ear. As for the phraseology of I think I shall put that to rest for « Prince Charles Stuart," till you ever, when I inform my Keviewer, suggest a more appropriate one I shall that I had the story from my publishe continue to believe that it was adopted er, Mr Blackwood, who had it from ad literam by King George III. I am the late Mr Home Drummond of informed, by my minister, that it is Blairdrummond, to whom it was told the universal phraseology of Voltaire by Mr Oliphant of Gask, the very and all other continental historians of gentleman to whom this message was the last century. But, perhaps Macconveyed at the king's own request vey Napier, Esquire, is your authority, and command, in the very words I and I have little doubt you think him have stated by the then member for the a much better judge of etiquette than county of Perth. I may add, that the either Francis Marie Arrouette de story is just as well known in that Voltaire, gentleman of the bed-champart of the country as the issue of the ber to Louis XV. or even George the field of Culloden. Mr Oliphant was Third, by the grace of God, King of an old gentleman, universally loved Great Britain, France, and Ireland, and respected ; and although, from a Defender of the Faith. As for the scruple of conscience he would not stories themselves, the truth is, sir, take the oaths to King George, nor that no trait in the late good king's permit him to be mentioned, other character was better known or more wise than as the Elector of Hanover, highly approved of by the whole of in his presence, he had, at the moment his subjects, (a few of your immitigawhen this royal message was delivered bly envious Whigs alone excepted, )
than this of his regard-or to speak numents raised, hurrying swiftly to more properly-his reverence for the oblivion;" which is not good. A'mohonour and upright principle of these nument decays, but it does not hurry faithful old Jacobites—or if you swiftly to oblivion. Who ever heard, choose to call them so, Tories. I. for example, of an old castle hurrying do not, however, wonder at finde down the stream of time? ing a Balaamite, like yourself, de- Sentence 3d.--At the same time it nying (which is your way of con- cannot be denied, that the language demning) those beautiful anecdotes held “ upon this subject,” &c. What I have narrated, concerning our late subject ? None is mentioned. The yenerated sovereign. I had almost expression is lax. forgot to mention, that the story which Sentence 4th.-" The controversy seems to have chiefly moved your in- between the two families,” say you,“ is dignation, had been told before my wholly laid at rest,” and “ long ago it book was written, in the Quarterly ceased to be at all a practical quesReview, (see the article on the Cullo- tion.” What do you mean by " the den papers), by one whose notions, controversy ?" Writing or fighting? whether of historical accuracy or Ballads or bloodshed ? Learn to speak, “ courtly etiquette, you will probably my good man, intelligibly. I will not venture to treat in quite the same give any man ten pounds, that is, a style of easy, coarse,' vulgar," sheet of Blackwood, to shew me any and “ignorant” indifferent contempt sense in this stuff about “a practical with which you have been pleased to question." It is just words without indulge the Éttrick Shepherd. meaning, like a bit of Macvey's Essay
So much for the “pith and mar- on Lord Bacon. row" of your critique, Mr Whig ; Sentence 4th.—You speak of a sort but to pass from matter to manner, of speculative Jacobitism,” being what would you think, suppose I sort of twin brother to the new-fangled should just stop a little
doctrine of legitimacy." You must have a fearful bad ear to endure the
jingle there, man; and, besides, “ twin and see what kind of a brother to a new-fangled doctrine,” is style you write yourself, you who are terrible bad writing. Neither is the so desperate severe a critic on other doctrine of legitimacy new-fangled, I folk. I'm thinking your style is as am sure. I wonder what makes some bald as the face of “Jem Thomson's folk write so much about legitimacy auld mare ;” and it is plain you have and illegitimacy. Cannot they hold no idea of composition. We'll go their tongues?' It is surely better to through the critique, for a little, sen- be legitimate than illegitimate any day tence by sentence; and it will soon be seen that you are no deacon in the
I pass over the next six or seven trade.
sentences, as altogether beyond my 1st sentence.-"We gather from comprehension. Only let me ask where some remarks in the introduction to the following gentlemen live, and this volume, that the undertaking was what trade they follow, for I have suggested at a meeting of the Highland met with none such either in EdinSociety of London, to which it is dedi- burgh or about Yarrow. “ They hate cated. I object to the use of the the cause of popular principles—they word “ gather” here, which is per- dislike a free and rational government fect nonsense. It should have been, they had rather see a king unfetter
we are told,” or, “Mr Hogg informs ed by a Parliament—a judge uncheckus,” or some other synonime of that ed by a jury-and a press free to praise sort.“ To gather,” is an operation only the stronger side, and restrained of the mind; but here there was no from palliating all abuses save those operation of the mind on your part. only of power. Good guide us, there “ The undertaking” is a vague, and are no such folks in this island. vulgar, and tautological expression. Sentence 15.-" To promulgate such “ To which" is ambiguous. Do you doctrines openly, even at this time of mean to say that “the undertaking day, and large as the strides are which was dedicated to a meeting of the have been made within a few years, Highland Society?" If so, you speak might not be altogether safe and sure. sillily, if not obscurely.
Just tell us, before you go farther, Sentence 2.-You speak of " who made the strides you speak ot,
of the year.
and what sort of strides they are ? trouts in St Mary's Loch. As to a I have seen the flying Tailor of Stave- delicate hand, I never had pretensions ly, in Westmoreland, and also him to it-but it has felt its way, notwithof Ettrick, take large strides--but standing, wherever there was occathere is something fearsomely myste- sion; and, as to gaining admittance, I rious in hearing of large strides taken have had doors opened to me, before within a few years," and knowing no- now, by better men in livery than the thing more of the matter. This is a author of this article. Nobody will acstupid way of writing.
cuse him, poor fellow, of“ brute force;" Sentence 16.-“ Mr Scott's avowed for he is weak as a willow. Skip over a writings are not entirely free from this page or two of drivelling, which I have imputation-and those still more po- already done for, and observe your stupular works which are so generally as- pidity in what follows. “ His Majesty cribed to him, abound with instances was a plain rational person, utterly inof the spirit of which we are speak, capable of such nonsense. The folly of ing." Again, “ Walter Scott's bad it was as much beneath his good sense and bald jokes:" call folk by their right as the conceit of it was beyond his innames, you jackanapes, for that is only genuity." Yet immediately aftergood manners. You may do what you wards you say, “ the kind of message like with your own name—but hold-the vile buffoonery and clumsy conyour hands off the mighty.
ceit of it really evinces a degree of Sentence 18.-You say no one vulgarity and affectation in the wri. could have blamed Mr Högg, “ if, ter," &c. What an ass you are, man, like a truly able and successful defen- to contradict yourself in that stupid der of those bad principles, David way. You speak of his late Majesty Hume, he had contrived to make the as if you had lived all your lifetime on worse appear the better reason, by the strictest intimacy with him. You dexterity of statement and skilful nar- could not speak more familiarly of Mr rative." I never expected to have seen Constable, nor I of Mr Blackwood. the day when I was to be likened to Da- “ Mr Blackwood is a plain rational vid Hume. I really cannot help laughing person, altogether incapable of such myself at this juxtaposition of names. nonsense !" This is a free and easy way James Hogg and David Hume! Then of talking of a king, whose face, I preyou gravely tell us that Hume was a sume, you never saw but on a copper “ truly able” man. This is a dis- coin, and may be called, in your own covery with a vengeance. Oh, man! phraseology, "a sort of twin-brother “truly able" is just one of the stu- to the new-fangled doctrine of illegitipidest epithets I ever saw. It makes macy.” I have told, in my book, two one almost sick and squeamish to look or three anecdotes of his late Majesty, at it. Then, who ever heard of “a on the authority of men of honour and successful defender of bad principles?” rank. You say they are false, beI am sure that even our enemies will cause they are not agreeable to your not think this good against me—and opinion of the King's character and David Hume.
general habits; and pray, who are Sentence 19.-" His is not that ju- you, who lived so familiarly with his dicious abstinence which gains what late Majesty. You are not the gengreediness never can reach-that deli- tleman, are you, who once happened cate hand which feels its way, and to sleep in the same bed with Theogains admittance where brute force dore, king of Corsica, and complained knocks in vain.” These are, most un- of him because he wore spurs, and doubtedly, two of the very worstvowed never again to sleep in the same metaphors that I ever saw in litera- bed with a king? I pass over about ture. The charge, too, is perfectly two score of bad sentences, and come false. I am not a greedy man, though to a piece of severity, I take my victuals well; and I am carries this a step farther, and tries sure that I put it into a better skin to cast imputations on the memory of than some I could mention. Abstin- those founders of a liberty, which he ence, in my opinion, is never judici- either cannot appreciate, because his ous, except when one has nothing to principles are slavish, or sets little aceat—and that is not likely to be count upon, because its history, its my case, so long as there are maw- adventures, will not serve to work up kins and moorfowl within the bounds into middling poems, and tales calof the forest, fish in Yarrow, and culated to lengthen and sadden;
• Mr Hogg
winter's evening.” The value of a you are far from it and you must man's principles is best estimated by confess—or if you do not all the rest his life. Now, I have never flattered of the world will—that I have taken any
man-asked a favour of any man you out by the cuff of the neck-given -lived upon any man's money—or you two or three kicks on the only been the slave of any man. I defy part about you that can speak any this my secret enemy to say as much. ways intelligibly, and then let you go I have been a hard-working man all back in a great fluster to your cronies, my life, for many long years on the who will be telling you, peradventure, green hill-side, and for not a few in that you have given the Shepherd a a brown study. I am better entitled to dressing, which you will try to believe repeat Smollett's lines than any hack in spite of your own aching posteriors. of Constable's.
I see you blame me for what you call “ Thy spirit, Independence ! let me share, my coarseness.” I do not pretend Lord of the lion heart and eagle eye ;
to over-refinement; but are not you a Thy steps I follow, with my bosom bare, great blackguard for writing the fole Nor heed the storm that howls along the lowing sentence: “ This is all that sky."
Frederick meant; and we rather marWith respect to “ middling poems," vel that the partialities of his august will this critic dare to say that the spouse, for a nobleman of known JacoQueen's Wake is a middling poem ? bite tendencies, were not rather cited Fye, fye, Mr Jeffrey! to let a creature as evidence that the late king took his like this contradict you to your face, Jacobitism by descent." Oh man, on your own dunghill! The hit at but you are a coarse tyke to have writmy Winter Evening Tales is not a ten such a sentence! The clumsiness staggering blow. There can be no oc- of the expression of it is only beat by casion to sadden your winter evenings, the baseness of its ineaning. You, I am thinking; for spite and stupidi- ignorantly, and foolishly, and unfeelty are their own punishment and a ingly, say of one of my anecdotes more miserable vision cannot be thought of our late king, that nobody durst of, than a poor thing like you, in have published it when he was alive, the act of writing against " slavish alluding, in the brutal language of raprinciples,” at the order of your tyran- dicality, to that awful affliction with nical master, and talking, with a grue which it had pleased God to visit his some fuce, of the sadness of honest old age. You yourself have here darfolks' lives, in the middle of the mi- ed to utter a base insinuation, which sery and degradation of your own. could only have been conceived in the “ Many of the Jacobite Songs are wor- heart of one of the Illegitimate School, thy of a better cause, and indeed, its and which, if other proof were wantromantic features were far from being ing, shews that you are, if not in birth, ill adapted to poetry!” Indeed! what certainly in breeding, a bastard Scotsa condescending critic! you really man. speak as if you were some great man. But the truth is that I am weary Instead of getting credit now for being of gauging such an empty vessel. I am a clever fellow, now-for writing in weary of the subject, sir-and under that way-every body is laughing at correction I am very weary of you. you for a great ass. You might just I wish I knew, for certain, who you as well speak of the sun “ being not are, that I might tickle you up in & ill adapted for giving light,"'--and manner more satisfactory' to me and chuckle over the compliment you had more disagreeable to yourself—but paid to that luminary. In page 159, since your name has been kept so you seem to be laughing at me for quiet, I have nothing to say to it, for using unnecessarily the expression, I am the last person in the world that “ celebrated Butler;" and yet, like a would wish to throw out unwarranted great gowk, you yourself speak of“ the and uncalled-for obloquy against any celebrated Archibald, Earl of Argyle, character, however despicable. who fell a victim, in 1685, to the most Your cronies will no doubt tell you atrocious and perfidious tyranny that that I am in a great passion, and that ever cursed any modern nation.' But you have given me a dressing. But I what is the use of exposing you any care no more about you than about a farther? Sitting in among the chaps cross-bred colley that keeps yowling of the Edinburgh Review, you think on a bit knowe by the roul-side at folk yourself, no doubt, a big chiel; but going by to the kirk-till some one