FRIEND SHI P.
"NAY, 'tis the fame with all th' affected crew
Of finging men and finging women too :
Do they not fet their catcalls up of course?
The King himself may ask them till he's hoarfe;
But wou'd you crack their windpipes and their lungs,
The certain way's to bid them hold their tongues.
'Twas thus with Minum-Minum one wou'd think,
My Lord Mayor might have govern'd with a wink.
1 Omnibus hoc vitium eft cantoribus, inter amicos
'Ut nunquam inducant animum cantare rogati:
Injuffi nunquam defiftant. Sardus habebat
Ille Tigellius hoc. Cæfar, qui cogere poffet,
Si peteret per amicitiam patris atque fuam, non
Quidquam proficeret: fi collibuiffet, ab ovo
Ufque ad mala citaret, Io Bacche! modo fumma
Voce, modo hac refonat quæ chordis quatuos ima.
Yet did the Magiftrate e'er condefcend
To afk a fong, as kindsman or as friend,
The urchin coin'd excufes to get off,
'Twas-hem-the devil take this whorefon cough.
But wait awhile, and catch him in the glee,
He'd roar the *Lion in the lowest key,
Or ftrain the morning Lark quite up to G.
A& Beard, or Lowe, and fhew his tuneful art
From the plumb-pudding down to the defert.
2 Never on earth was fuch a various elf,
He every day poffefs'd a different self;
Sometimes he'd fcow'r along the ftreets like wind,
As if fome fifty bailiffs were behind;
At other times he'd fadly, faunt'ring crawl,
As tho" he led the hearfe, or held the fable pall.
3 Now for promotion he was all on flame,
And ev'ry fentence from St. James's came.
He'd brag how Sir John
**** met him in the Strand,
And how his Grace of ***** took him by the hand;
The Lion's Song, in Pyramus and Thibe.
A fong in one of Mr. Handel's Oratorios.
2 Nil æquale homini fuit illi: fæpe velut qui
Currebat fugiens hoftem: perfæpe velut qui
Junonis facra ferret. Habebat fæpe ducentos,
Sæpe decem fervos: modo reges, atque tetrarchas.
3 Omnia magna loquens. Modo, Sit mihi menfa tripes, & Concha falis puri, & toga, quæ defendere frigus,
Quamvis craffa, queat, decies centena dediffes
How the Prince saw him at the last review,
And ask'd who was that pretty youth in blue?
Now wou'd he praise the peaceful fylvan fcene,
The healthful cottage, and the golden mean..
Now wou'd he cry, contented let me dwell
Safe in the harbour of my college cell;
No foreign cooks, nor livry'd servants nigh,.
Let me with comfort eat my mutton.pye;
While my pint-bottle, op'd by help of fork,
With wine enough to navigate a cork,
My fober folitary meal fhall crown,
To ftudy edge the mind, and drive the
Yet, ftrange to tell, this wond'rous ftudent lay
Snoring in bed for all the livelong day;
Night was his time for labour-in a word,
Never was man fo cleverly abfurd.
4 But here a friend of mine turns up his nose, And you (he cries) are perfect, I suppose:
Huic parco paucis contento: quinque diebus-
Nil erat in loculis. noctes vigilabat ad ipfum
Mane: diem totum ftertebat. nil fuit unquam
Sic impar fibi. nunc aliquis dicat mihi: Quid tu ?
4 Nullane habes vitia ? immo alia, & fortaffe minora.
Menius abfentem Novium cum carperet: heus tu,
Quidam ait. ignoras te? an ut ignotum dare nobis
Verba putas? egomet mi ignofco, Mænius inquit.
Stultus, & improbus hic amor eft, dignufque notari..
Cum tua pervideas oculis mala lippus inunctis,
Perfect! not I (pray, gentle Sir, forbear)
In this good age, when vices are so rare,
I plead humanity, and claim my fhare..
Who has not faults? great MARLBOROUGH had one,
Nor CHESTERFIELD is spotlefs, nor the Sun.
Grubworm was railing at his friend Tom Queer,
When Witwoud thus reproach'd him with a fneer,
Have you no flaws, who are fo prone to fnub,
I have but I forgive myfelf, quoth Grub.
This is a fervile selfishness, a fault
Which Justice fearce can punish, as she ought
Blind as a poking, dirt-compelling mole,
To all that flains thy own polluted foul,
Yet each fmall failing fpy'ft in other men,
Spy'it with the quicknefs of an eagle's ken..
Tho' ftreng refentment rarely lag behind,.
And all thy virulence be paid in kind.
5 Philander's temper's violent, nor fits
The wond'rous waggishness of modern wits;
Cur in amicorum vitiis tam cernis acutum..
Quam aut aquila, aut ferpens Epidaurius? at tibi contra
Evenit, inquirant vitia ut tua rurfus & illi...
5 Iracundior eft paullo ? minus aptus acutis
Naribus horum hominum? rideri poffit, eo quod:
Ruflicius tonfo toga defluit, & male laxus
In pede calceus hæret. at eft bonus, ut melior vir
Non alius quifquam : at tibi amicus: at ingenium ingens
Inculto latet hos fub corpore, denique teipfum.
His cap's awry, all ragged is his gown,
And (wicked rogue !) he wears his ftockings down
But h'as a foul ingenuous as his face,
friend, and all the human race;
Genius, that all the depths of learning founds,
And generofity, that knows no bounds.
In fruits like thefe if the good youth excel,
Let them compensate for the aukward shell,
Sift then yourself, I fay, and fift again,
Glean the pernicious tares from out the grain ;
And ask thy heart if Custom, Nature's heir,
Hath fown no undifcover'd fern-feed there,
This be our ftandard then, on this we reft,
Nor fearch the Cafuifts for another teft.
6 Let's be like lovers gloriously deceiv'd,
And each good man a better still believ'd;
Concute, num qua tibi vitiorum-inseverit olim
Natura, aut etiam confuetudo mala. namque
Neglectis urenda filix innafcitur agris.
6 Illuc prævertamur: amatorem quod amicæ
Turpia decipiunt cæcum vitia, aut etiam ipfa hæc
Delectant: veluti Balbinum polypus Agnæ:
Vellem in amicitia fic erraremus; & isti
Errori nomen virtus pofuiffet honeftum.
At, pater ut nati, fic nos debemus amici,
Si quod fit vitium, non faftidire. ftrabonem
Appellat Pætum pater : & Pallum, male paryus
Si cui filius eft:. ut abortivus fuit olim
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