« ZurückWeiter »
oration. He was a new comer there, and they gathered in front of the hotel, and his fellow-citizens had selected him with all the ardor of veteran warriors. for this high and important function, not Captain Joe Mott was officer of the as a compliment to his abilities and cha- day, and he performed prodigies in racter, but to discover who and what he getting his men into line. “'Tention,
Where he had come from, or his the hull," he cried, with a voice like that business, nobody knew, nor did he care of the German Emperor who could be to tell. He was, in fact, a remarkably heard from one end of his army to the silent man, of grave and unsocial de other-“Companee! Fall in !-Dress!" portment, who went to the post-office, But as a considerable number of the at ten o'clock precisely, each morning, "companee" had begun quite early to for his Tribune, and after that was not fortify themselves against any premaseen for the rest of the day. All the ture application of the Maine Law, their gossips had speculated about his con- “ dress" did not answer, in every respect, dition and pedigree until they had nearly to the definition of a mathematical line. broken their weasands, but without “Companee!" shouted Captain Joe, coming to any satisfactory result. One
-6+? Tention! Eyes right! of them, indeed, had gone so far as to dress!" and again, after considerable ask him “point blank to his face," who movement, the line represented Hohe was, when he stared confusedly for garth's line of beauty rather more than a while, then laughed, and finally turn
any other line. ed on his heels.
Captain Joe strode up and down the The glorious day,- the immortal front several times in the greatest perFourth, -was ushered in, if we may be plexity, and finally exclaimed. Now, allowed so novel an expression, with sodgers, look-o'-here! I want you all to the ringing of the bell and the firing form in as straight a column as you can; of a cannon. Little boys exploded with your backs to that are house, and several crackers in the street, a squad your noses pintin' to the liberty-pole ! of overgrown, larger lads shot off a Now, then-Companee!--Tention the horse-pistol; a farmer, with his wife hull!-Eyes right!-Dress!" and three daughters dressed in white, It was an unhappy order the Captain rode about in their farm-wagon; a cou- had given; for, each man after pointing ple of negroes pitched pennies in the his nose to the pole, looked over his shadow of a wood-shed, and the star- shoulder afterwards to see if his back spangled banner drooped triumphantly was right, so that the greater part of from the top of the liberty-pole. It was them had the appearance of lay figures, as hot as griddle-cakes, of course, and
with the heads set the wrong way: the majority of the free and independent * Very well,” said Captain Joe Mott, citizens appeared in their shirt-sleeves. seeing that he was not likely to get his
The only exceptions were two dozen men any nearer to a right line, ""Tenpersons who had the honor to belong to tion, the hull! Show'd ums !"' and Company A, division 1, of the second there was a general shaking of muskets. battalion of the Jehosaphat Indefensi- “ Music! For'd, marcb!" and the bles. These having been dressed, from an military moved off in procession, to early hour in the morning, in a heavy the manifest admiration of the entire blue cloth coat and black leather hat, circle of spectators. The orator, with and carrying about fifty pounds of match- the reader of the Declaration and a lock, buttons and feathers, looked dis- clergyman, rode behind in a barouche, tressed even before the drum had beaten drawn by two steeds splendidly caparithe call to parade. Their faces were as soned in Dutch collars and sprigs of red and wet as a lobster just taken asparagus to keep off the flies. from the kettle; while their bodies were Arrived at the church, the clergyman as limp as washed rags. But the first made a prayer. Mr. Zeph. Conover, the strains of the inspiring martial music, promising young lawyer of the place, consisting entirely of a base drum and read the Declaration, in a full, loud, a willow life, put mettle into their limbs, round voice, and with a determination
* If any over inquisitive reader is disposed to ask us how we could get a report of the doings on that day, seeing that our Magazine is printed several days beforehand, we deem it sufficient to reply that we keep " a medium,” who anticipates the mails and the telegraph, whenever we have an occasion.-EDITOR.
of manner that would have frightened hundred and nineteen Jacksons, three any crowned head in Europe out of his hundred and ten Clays, ninety-eight wicked designs, if he could only have Clintons, and seventy-five Calhouns, heard it; and the choir sung an ode recall the noble deeds and heroic virtues wirtten expressly for the occasion, by of the immortal demigods, after whom, the gifted editor of the Independent and with a brilliant fecundity of patriotism, Democratic Bivalve--from which we if not of invention, they are called. extract the closing stanza, addressed How mighty and beautiful the spectacle, to our emblematic bird :
reminding us of the sweet lines which
the great Roman Consul so aptly applied “Oh! proud bird of freedom! oh! long to the legions worshiping in the Sacred may'st thou soar,
Temple :With thy storm-daring pinion, and sun
"O! forsitan patria pulchra, gazing eye!
Nemo decorum et dulce est!'” Through the blue empyrean, where wild tempests roar,
Here the schoolmaster nodded to the And the lightning of battle gleams fiercely clergyman, who frowned, in reply, on high.
probably at the Pagan sentiment of the With thy bloody-red beak and thy talons of
“But why this general joy and acclaSwoop gallantly down upon tyranny's
mation? Why this ringing of bells hawks,
and firing of crackers, and waving of Till those saucy and black-hearted minions
flags, and drinking of ginger-beer, with shall feel
other liquors, and setting off of fire-works That our national chicken is cock of all
in the evening? Is there any one in walks!"
this intelligent and enlightened assemThe orator of the day then came
bly who cannot tell ? The child unborn forward, with a white handkerchief in might give the answer. It is because one hand, and his manuscript in the
we are freemen, and we meet to celeother, and said :
brate the rights and triumphs of free66 Friends and fellow-citizens: It is
dom. Our fathers, who lived, as it has universally admitted, that this day, been sagaciously observed, in times which we have now assembled to cele- that tried men's souls,' bequeathed to brate, is a great day-the natal day of
us the precious heritage of liberty and freedom, when liberty was born and equality; and we come up together independence was cradled, and which annually to testify to each other our has never been surpassed since the
devotion to those sacred principles. primeval day on which the world was
We are all free, and we are all equal! created, and will never be equaled till
The rights, the dignity, the sacredness the ultimate day of judgment. As the
of man, as man, is the corner-stone of Greek poet felicitously expresses it:
our political faith; and where is the
dastard, the slanderer, and the liar, who Τον άμηρα ότι προς τι υπσιλον.?
dares to intimate that any of our politi-At this classical allusion, the clergy- cal and social relations are not built on man nodded approvingly to the school- that foundation?" master, who sat upon the same bench - The orator here paused a few minutes with him on the stage, and smiled fool- for a reply, and to wipe his forehead. ishly in return.
6. It is common, I know," he re“On this day," the orator continued, sumed, - for envious and unprincipled " the free and happy people of fourteen foreign tourists to say that four milthousand five hundred and sixty-nine lions of people among us are not free villages (the precise number of villages and equal--in fact, that they are noin the United States, according to the thing more nor less than s-l-a-v-e-slast census) send up their grateful but this is a libel and an untruth, and hearts to God, in thanks that they are ought to blister the mouth of every the greatest people of all the earth. On lily-livered, pink-hearted, black-coated, this day, nine hundred and fifty-two venial sycophant of royalty who utters cities or towns named Washington, it! There are a few of the swarthy seven hundred and thirty-six named children of Africa, who, rescued from Jefferson, five hundred Hamiltons, three the brutalities of their native kings, are hundred and twenty Madisons, three held in an involuntary servitude under a system inherited from the British boons, and the domestic happiness of a two centuries ago,-but they are not thousand firesides wrecked by excess of half as much slaves as the white
ourang-outangs and ring-tailed apes !!! serfs of Birmingham and Manchester! -As the eloquent gentleman proceeded Are not their mouths ever full of pos- to unfold the outlines of this fearful sum-fat and hominy? Are they not picture, his voice was gradually drowndressed in the best tow-cloth half the ed in the sobs and sighs of the female year,--while it is too hot to wear any- part of the audience, whose tender senthing the other half? Do they not raise sibilities were wrought up to a pitch of their own pig and chickens, and fish for almost frantic excitement. He, there*cats' and snapping-turtles of Saturday fore, magnanimously forbore to press the nights? And have they not the Gospel subject further. statedly preached to them by one of " But,” he remarked, “ to change the their own number on the Sabbath day? theme, if there be any one so insane Slaves, forsooth! why they are the as to believe that we Americans fall happiest working people on the globe! short of the lofty and beautiful ideal of Well would it be, friends and fellow- our fathers, let me point him to our citizens, for the poor Irish bog-trotter, liberal and magnanimous treatment of and the English coal-heavers, and the foreign immigrants. As our great maxim French sans-culottes, and the German is that man is man,' we make our couneater of sour-crout, and the consumers try emphatically the home of the exile of macaroni at Naples, if they could be and the asylum of the oppressed.' as well fed and cared for as these ob- The half million refugees from Eurojects of misguided and fanatical philan- pean despotima, who annually come to thropy! Well would it be for us, even, us, we welcomo with warm hugs and if we were always so sure of our rice very open hands. They touch our and sweet potatoes ! The supreme and country--and-we set 'em to work on ultimate end of human existence being, the rail-road, at six shillings a day! as the Scriptures tell us, what we They take part in our political life, shall eat and wherewithal we shall be and, instead of seeking to deprive them clothed,' the greatest and happiest of of the privilege, we often pay them for mortals are they whose mouths are voting. But it may be questioned stuffed with good fat bacon, and whose whether we have not, in this, reversed persons are ornamented with a red the true and patriotic process. Far be bandanna handkerchief !
it from me to intimate that our political 6 Besides, friends and fellow-citizens, arrangements are not perfect in any -as those eminent philosophers Messrs. respect: but, as the citizens of Athens, Nott and Gliddon inform us--it has in the most flourishing period of their not yet been proved that Africans are democracy, caused themselves to be men! It is true that they look like paid out of the public treasury, for the men, that they are formed like men, discharge of their laborious duties in that they talk like men, that they rea- attending public assemblies, listening to son and feel like men, but appearances, the orators, talking politics, and monopyou know, are fallacious. In spite of olizing legislation: so it seems but just, such superficial resemblances, the well- considering how much more exacting attested physical facts that they often our duties are in all these respects, that have projecting jaws like monkeys, every native of the United States should sometimes a flat foot like a goose, go untaxed, and be supported at public and always wool on their heads like expense. I say every native, because sheep, are facts which admit of no of the extraordinary merit of that class reply. They show that we should at of citizens, in having got themselves least hesitate in recognizing their born on this continent, and because it claims to humanity. It would be an is clear that aliens, with their foreign awful thing to mistake a monkey for manners and habits of thought, can a man, and, under that terrible de- never be made to understand the peculusion, to plunge four millions of infe- liarities of our institutions. Let me, rior animals into all the refinements therefore, suggest this proposal to the and delights of civilization ! Our Hermetical Benevolent Societies, or fancies shrink appalled from the con- those which, sealed at both ends, devote sequences--the streets of populous themselves so industriously to the good cities running. red with pink-faced ba- of themselves,--and the public !"
--At this point in the discourse some tures called Babies, at the recent exhi disturbance was created by an Irishman, bition in the Great American Museum, who cried “ Bravo," when several native exceeded everything of the kind ever and stalwart Jehosaphatians fell upon before conceived. Why there were inhim, and, after beating his face into a fants there, not twelve months old, so semblance of raw beef-steak, ejected prosperous in fat that not a single feahim from the window. As soon as the ture of their innocent faces was discheering, with which their prompt inter- tinguishable ! There were American ference was greeted by the whole assem- mothers there, who could throw threes bly, had subsided, the speaker resumed. far more easily than you could turn up
Yes, my dearly-beloved friends and double-sixes in a dice-box! fellow-citizens, it is the glory of our in- “Again, do they not slaughter more stitutions and our society, that every hogs in Cincinnati than in all the rest man is allowed to pursue his happiness of the world? Do they not make betin his own way. The impartial spirit ter champagne at Newark than in of our laws, while it confers no privileges France, or even in Broad street ? What and suffers no monopolies, doesn't in- oysters are equal to the Blue Pointers of terfere materially with anybody.
Downing, or in what region of the habi“But not to waste your time, fellow- table world, barbarian or civilized, bond citizens, upon irrelevant topics, let me or free, are there canvas-back ducks recur to more pleasing contemplations!" like ours? Oh! my friends, I could Let me remind you of what, in your weary your patience almost with agreehabitual modesty, you are so apt to for- able statistics of this kind, and you ought get-your sure and solid and stupendous to thank the beneficent Power, for the greatness as a nation! Let me rocall inconceivable greatness of your endowthat distinguishing and consolatory fact, ments and the overwhelming grandeur that your country covers already ar of your destinies ! area of nearly four million
miles, - In the arts of peace, and in the and that it would be still bigger if the deeds of war, you are equally distintwo oceans were filled in. Who shall say, guished. It was your happy lot to have in view of the accomplishments of mod- produced Singer's sewing machine, ern enterprise, that it is not practicable the clipper ship Blue Thunder, Blake's to level the Apalachians and so obtain fire-proof paint, the aboriginal mintsufficient material for this purpose, julep, the improved sherry cobbler, whenever it shall be demanded by the and the trotting-horse Fanny Fern, increasing density of our population and as well as the authoress of the same be warranted by the price of lots ? name-alike the envy and admiraWhat were Greece and Rome, about tion of mankind. In the department of which the historians keep up such a the Fine Arts, your immortal Jackson bother, compared to this ? Why and his horse, both standing on one hind Greece, with all her pretensions to art leg, and the panorama of the Mississippi, and science, was only a little peninsula painted on forty miles of canvas, cover about twice the size of Long Island, and you with renown. But, perhaps, the Rome, though she called herself, in her Washington National Monument will be vainglorious pride, the Mistress of the considered by posterity as your most exGlobe, was nothing more than a single traordinary performance. Composed of city, situated on a river no deeper than different sized stones from every part of one of our goose creeks! What, too, the globe, and a few aerolites supposed is England compared to us- —that boast- to have been engendered in the moon, ful and arrogant England, ' whose morn- it also illustrates the peculiar architecing drum-beat,' as some one has ludi- ture of every nation and age from the crously said, follows the sun in his Egyptian obelisk and the temple-cave course ?' A narrow, misty, marshy, of India to the wigwam of the red man miserable coal pit, easily contained in a and the corn-stalk orders of Western Virginia cornfield, and which you would prairies. Indeed, that remarkable pile have to look for with a telescope on an of stones (or bricks, were they ?) once Illinois prairie !
attempted on the plains of Shinar is the "In respect to natural productions only edifice of history which can be and national industry we have also every compared to it, either in design or exereason for exultation and pride. The cution. display of those useful domestic crea- “Then, again, your literature has
created a new epoch in the brilliant sand living lustres, from roof and wall autobiography of Barnum, which has and floor? But time would fail to sold to the number of a million copies specify the glories of that fairy scene. at least, which has been translated The foreign exhibitors themselves, into ten different languages, not in- ashamed of the figure they cut, slunk cluding our native dialects, and which from the competition, and have never would have been translated into others since dared to come for their goods, but for the fears, on the part of the which still remain on hand, kicking kings and princes, of its tremendous
about among the dust and cobwebs of political influence among their subjects. the now deserted show! They say, to Besides, it has been noticed in every excuse this neglect,-for everybody leading review, though, it must be who is beaten has always an excuse at confessed, in an envious and carping hand,—that our Crystal Palace Comspirit. Bulwer, Dickens, Thackeray, pany are insolvent, and have failed to Dumas, and all the other great writers return their goods; but the excuse of fiction, secretly own
themselves proceeds from sheer envy-from the beaten, and Macaulay delays his malicious envy of unprincipled foreignhistory in the vain hope that this ers! Do you suppose that an Amerinovel excitement in the reading world can could be guilty of such dishonorwill pass. Meritorious and inimitable able conduct as the excuse implies ? Barnum--fortunate man! thine was No! ten thousand hands would rush the magic wand which took captive all into their pockets rather than that such our pockets--thine the fertile imagina- an indignity should fall upon our good tion which has added new forms to name! creation and new pleasures to existence * Why, gentlemen, you ought not to and thine the disinterested virtue be surprised if these same envious forwhich twines a wreath of very green eigners should next attempt to decry evergreen round the altar of thy coun- the moral uses of that great and pecutry's fame!"
liar institution of some parts of our -The irrepressible enthusiasm of the
happy country, which is excellently audience could be contained no longer, typified in our native and original inand, at this point, broke out in a vention, the Bowie-knife. I refer to the distinct “ Hurrah for Literature and institution of a species of jurisprudence, Barnum!"
which readily supersedes all other juris" Everybody," pursued the orator, prudence, and, without the tedious for6 everybody, especially in this great malities of judges, juries, lawyers, stacountry, admits the unprecedented ad- tute-books and other antiquated contrivances that we have made in practical vances of society, arrives at instant and art,---of which fact there could not substantial justice--a justice that does have been a more transcendent proof, not often require any appeal! How if proof were needed, than the im- would the bold pioneer of the frontier, measurable superiority of our Crystal you naturally ask, get rid of his enePalace to the World's Fair of London, mies and supply his necessary wants, if the Dublin Exhibition, the present Ex- he were compelled to look into musty position at Paris, and everything of and worm-eaten law-books to find out the kind that has yet been attempted what he might and what he might not anywhere. Its variety and brilliancy do? Law-books are not as thick as were only equaled by its financial huckle-berries in the woods. How
What wealth of plows, could the benevolent and patriotic citiwhat splendors of sole-leather, what zen of Missouri control the elections luxury and magnificence of corn-shell- of Kansas, if he had to consult the ers and patent pumps!
Who did not pandects of Justinian, and if he were see, and seeing admire, the beautiful not allowed to use his knife and rifle Central Temple erected by Genin, and freely among the interloping marauders hung round with baby-linen, as from other States ? Some will, perhaps, heart-felt homage to nascent human- reply, that, if others should resort to the ity? Who could turn to those huge
same weapons, the condition of things cases of variegated soaps, without must result in civil war. In civil war! imagining himself in some grotto of will it? Ah! how little such greenthe genii, where precious stones and horns must have studied the theory of gems flashed, in a thousand, thou- our constitution, which so strikingly